Transcript for Synced: Indian Summer

Hello there! How was your week?

Do you want to give them an update? Oh, I guess the details, but if you don't want, or you can.

I don't think so. We're just sharing our experiences. And this is a whole conversation that happens on armchair two, like what's ethical about what you're sharing about other people. But ultimately, these are our lives. That's the point of these shows. So we're going to share. I love that.

Well, it depends on the date for me personally. It's more that I hate dating. We talked about this last week, but I don't like dating. And so yes, it's scary, but more, it's not that I'm rescheduling for an old reason. Like something comes up that I want to do. And I don't want to go on the day. So I do the thing I want to do, right? But I can only do that so many times before I'm, I think, like, I have to go. It's time for me to go on the day. It's a different for each person and not to scare you. But yes, the truth is I don't really want to go on the day when I do that.

Well, and then I feel that it's a weird balance where you want someone who will prioritize you, but you also want someone who has stuff going on that has a life, right? And so if he rescheduled, and we know the first reason why he rescheduled, I don't know the second reason, but he has a life he cares about. I think that's great. Yeah. To me, and just like there's no desperation, and I like that.

I mean, it's not kind of just not going to bother you.

Maybe, but that's such an old school dynamic that the man has to plan the day. I'm trying to, I mean, the last couple of guys. I felt like it was more, what should we do?

But in this case, isn't this a little like you and LinkedIn guy? Is that the same for second date when everyone sort of agreed? Like you guys both want to go on a date with each other? Yeah, so is it the same?

Yeah.

But then do you think this is an interesting broader question. But if that's the expectation at first. Do you think that lends itself to a dynamic where they're in control or like they again have power?

Yeah, interesting. Okay. Well, we did a cliffhanger of sorts. Yes. Where we said this week, we're going to talk about some of our current favorite things that we are enjoying. This sort of summer gift guide mixed with just things we're enjoying right now.

Yeah, my guess. Yeah. Okay. Do you want to start with one of your items? You just start. Okay. I have these dessert plates. They're from ABC Home. They are called the Wonderland plates and they have different ones. They're very dainty and mine has like a Alice from Alice in Wonderland and she's eating cake on it. And I have them out on my table and they're so beautiful and they bring me a ton of joy. And I also think they're great gift. They're expensive but I just mean dessert plates in general are a great gift. There's some at Fish's ID that are super cute. If you search, dessert plates are abundant. is something that people don't normally buy themselves. If you're buying a plate set, you're probably going to skip the dessert plate. And so I think it's a cute gift idea to provide. And also because the dessert plate doesn't have to match the set. I think it's like fun if it doesn't actually. So I think that's fun. And if you really want to go the extra mile, you could bring the cake. Oh, cute! So I recommend if you really want to spurge, you can look at ABC home. Plates are so beautiful. They're like, I think China. Oh, wow. Which is why they're so expensive. But yeah, so that's one of mine.

So nice. Speaking of gifts for the mother, this isn't on my list, but this is an idea. Okay, there's a spa in New York called Shibu spa. It's in the Greenwich Hotel, and they have these Japanese robes that you wear. into the massage and it's a navy blue and it has these white little flowers. There's so beautiful and they're so comfortable and they're so chic and you can buy them. So I just bought a spoiler. I don't think she listens, but I bought one for my friend who's pregnant and we're throwing a shower for her and so it's a gift for the mom as opposed to a gift for the baby. Me, you can do both, but I think it's a nice little.

Yes, our cover art.

Okay, so next for me is I might have said this before it might have been on a gift guide, so I feel bad if I'm repeating, but oh well, so the other day I went to chat to my mom with girlfriends for a dinner. I talk about this on armchair. But they have these candles here that are insane. They were sold out for six years. It was a whole thing. It's stupid. But they're back and stock. And so I bought one for all of us. And I think that's such a good gift idea. If you've gone and experienced something with that friend, like you've gone to a hotel with that friend or vacation or like a yummy dinner or something. And there's something from the place that you can buy like the candle or also I've given the Bemalman's Martini glasses to Amy because we all spent time in New York together and went to Bemalman's things like that where they're like nice especially if it's like a nice candle or a nice martini glass or something. I also had a friend some friends from home. We went to a dinner in Denver. This was many years ago and we were all shocked at how gorgeous the wine glasses were. You know it was a point of conversation so then I like looked to see what they were and then for Christmas I gave her two of those. So just like mixing the experience with the tangible item I think is fast.

I think Rick Rubin does something like this, like at a certain time of night, everything turns red.

I thought of you the other day because you said that you used to I mask. And I need a good I mask.

I don't sleep well, but also what I realized and I can't believe it took me this long to realize the apartment building next to my bedroom window has a light on all night. Oh, it's an outdoor light and it just stays on. So there's a light on next to my bedroom window all night so like I can't believe it took me six years to realize it that's how oblivious I am but I think that's obviously having an impact.

It's given in has a silk one that is good.

Oh, wow. Okay. I'm going to get this. It's $29. Yeah. The one on door in rows.

But do whatever skin recovering sleep mask is what this one is called.

Okay cool. I'm getting this.

Well, it's fine. My assumption is you're only giving gifts that you like or have or know. But the red light therapy, I have the Dennis Gross mask. I also gave that for white elephant, and it was big hit.

It's a good one. It's great. Is it my turn or your turn? No, it might turn you to red light. Okay. So next for me, this is a small, small item. There's a design store down the street from us. It's called Pearson Ward. incredible store, beautiful store. They had this Japanese soap. It's a round soap. The brand is spelled T-O-M-A-N-O-H-A-D-A. If you put that in and do round soap, you'll see it. And I have the musk smell and it is so good. And it makes my whole bathroom smell so delicious and good. They have a rose one. Rose isn't really my scent. I really, it's not someone gave me a rose.

Yeah, it's a little grandma for me too, but people love rose and it did smell nice. for a rose smell. It smells very clean. All of these smell very clean. And they have a fig one I want to try to. They have lavender, but it's very luxurious. And so, I recommend on the common, commonohata, the commonohata sphere around palm oil. It's so yummy. It's really good. Oh my god. And if you have a beautiful little dish to put it in, that's what I did to just like sit by the sink. It's just sitting in this like beautiful dish. Oh, so it's a hand. So it's like I'm using it as a hand. So yeah, it's a bar. It looks like this.

I can't really tell. It's like a little talk. It's like a little talk.

That sounds great. A good hack for your bathroom smelling nice during the shower is if you hang eucalyptus from your shower head. That's why you have I threw it out because it was old. You got to replace them.

But it just like makes it like feels spa like looks smells like a spa. Okay, ding ding ding. Something crazy happened. The other day I was taking a shower. I had a different shower and then what came with the apartment because it was filtered water, whatever. And it crashed in the middle of my shower. Oh, thank God, it didn't crash on my head. I just started six feet under. Rob, I watch eight episodes of six feet under. Yes, Easter, I, we didn't episode of Flightless Bird that made me want to watch it. So I started it and at the beginning of each episode, there's a death. And this shower head crashing down is exactly how someone would have died on six feet under. Can you die?

So it's like a heavy, I don't know how to explain it. Other than it was, it's a shower head. It's heavy because of the filtration in there. So it crashed in the tub. It like exploded and then there was so much it looked horrifying. It looked like there was poop everywhere, and I got so nervous. I was like, why? I was like, ew, is it all moldy? But really, I think the filter itself is just like brown sandy type materials. So that was all over the top. I had to clean it. It was a big disaster.

I mean, I don't know. So since then, so I cleaned up all the crap. And so now I don't have a shower head. It's just pouring like like a waterfall. And I like kind of That's great. Yeah, it's making my hair washing much quicker. Oh, it's not diffused. It's just like someone dumping bunch of water.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine.

It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. That's scary.

You probably need to put those things they put for babies at the back of your right.

Yes, exactly. It's a perfect thing to come from article articles fantastic. We love article. I was just on the site with a friend the other day because my friend is revamping his living room and we're picking out a whole bunch of items articles so nice because it's very chic.

I have two patio chairs from article and they are so, they're so luxurious. They look so expensive. And they are actually reasonably priced. Yeah, which is incredible. And the quality is really good. They offer fast affordable shipping across the US in Canada. And you pick the delivery time. So they'll send you updates like it's not a hassle.

Support for sink to comes from skims. Gosh, do we love skims? I'm wearing skims right now. Didn't even mean to be, but I am.

It has amazing fit and quality, which is very hard to get both.

I have that one too. I love it.

Yes. I also really love the boyfriend t-shirt. I have it in on it. I love a boyfriend tea. Like I love it when it's a little oversized. It's so good. We just love everything they make and I've said this before. I've worn skims on like two out of the three verse dates. I've had in the last couple months.

Agreed. Shop the skims t-shirt shop at skims.com. Now available in sizes X, X, S, to 4, X. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your orders, select podcast in the survey and select our show and the drop down menu that follows.

It's at rio.com. My assumption is they have.

Yeah, yeah. I know vegans that eat them.

Like they should. That's okay. That's okay. We still love them. Yeah. Areos are the best. Oreos and milk is not vegan.

Oh, oh. Is open vegan? Of course. Non-dairy.

Well, because you know, once you switch to these like healthier milks, and you learn that they're a mess, it's like, oh, there's all these oils in this. And oh, this is a carcinogen. It's like, oh, my God. So I just went back to regular home milk. And I love it. Great. Love it. Happy with it. Okay. Speaking of the Oreos, I do think personalized food is really fun. Bill Gates after we had him on the first time. He sent us Diet Coke. It was personalized. And so, Dax had a pack and said, Bill and Dax, Rob, you got one too, right? You had one said, Bill and Rob. And then mine said, Bill and Monica. And I posted it, not thinking at all that it looked like Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. And she texted me and she was laughing. She's the coolest person on earth has such a good sense of humor and she was put through like the fucking trauma of the century from the world and she's just really awesome. But anyway, yes, I didn't really think twice about it villain Monica.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. Now next for me. This is not a gift. This is just what I'm super into right now. Is this nail polish I'm wearing? Oh, it's so nice. It's this really pretty orange. There's like a red undertone to it that makes it a little not bright. But it's not Halloween orange either. It feels matte or like opaque. It has a really cool jelliness to it. And I've been taking a break from manicures at a salon. in lieu of doing my own. I've been doing my own for the past few months. So I felt that I could support on the colors and the nail polish itself.

It was more just, it takes time to go and I love it. It's fun to do, but it was just taking too long. It's funny.

Yeah, so I've been doing my own and it's a Chanel nail polish, maybe I think it's French, so you will probably know how to say it. It's two words ETE and then INDIN. I need to see that.

Yeah, that's the first word.

Summer is apparently what it means.

Okay, so it is okay. Okay, so Indian summer is probably what it means. What's the second one? I and D. I. Yeah.

Ding ding ding. Indian summer. I'm Indian. Oh my god. Wow. What does this mean? What does it mean? And it's number 163. It's beautiful. It's beautiful color. I really like it. It's going to take me through the summer, I think.

Okay, great. So next for me, this is from Go Harworld, which is a website and they have these lemon squeezers. You put like a slice of lemon in there and they have a bird and a fish and they're so cute. I asked for one for Christmas two years ago and I got it and if you have a dinner party or something, it's just such a cute thing to have out and have people squeeze their whatever you have a yeah squeeze your lemon squeeze our lemon over the food is just to me when I'm at someone's house it's always those I need details that I am super attracted to. Who needs this little lemon squeeze or no one, but it makes everything feel more intentional and sweet and fun.

Yeah, just like when you feel like are passing the plate, it's just out. Wow, I like that. Yeah, it's really cute. I've seen this on a couple other people's gift guides who I trust. So it's like a cool girl move to have it.

They smell so good. All of their stuff smells so good. Okay, so my last one, of course, I don't know how to tell you how to get it. So this is a bummer. But at Nikki Keeho, designs were a Los Angeles incredible and full disclosure of my designer. The store is so good. They just open one in New York. So if you're in New York, also please check out Nikki Keeho, or if you're here. But a couple of months ago, they had these cards. They're very thick card stock and they have these gorgeous French cartoon drawings on them and you're supposed to spray your perfume on it and then like give it to your lover. Oh, which is such a I just love it so much. I plan on using it as cards stationary. And I think there's a couple that I want to frame. They're beautiful. That's so cute. That's enough like framing a card. I think is a really fun move. I had this little card with this tiny drawing of a pancake on it from the store next to all time called grandpa and I framed it in the hung it in my kitchen and it's so cute. Art can be

You really have to know the person's style if you're gonna do that. Or if they don't care exactly. But if they do and then you get them a frame, they don't want. I've been in this position.

Where I love it, but I'm like, oh, like this doesn't go, but then if I replace the frame, they'll see it, and then that's uncomfortable. So can get sticky.

Anyhow, all right, well, I guess for now, that's gonna conclude our summer gift guide, our summer favorite things, but maybe we'll revisit this down the line, because I think it's fun. I like hearing what other people are into and getting inspiration and ideas. Yeah. Okay, so let's do some questions. Wait, and so are you going to sealington guy again? Do you think I think so? Love it. I hope the double day leads to long and happy marriage. It would be great. You would appreciate the wedding. Oh my god, I'll get started on my speech right now. I'm just going to read Taylor Swift's commencement speech.

Support for sync comes from masterclass. Before we even started recording this ad, Liz got really excited, just reading that we were supported by masterclass because she loves masterclass. And so do I. So good. I love it.

Yeah, I mean, I think it's the dream as an adult to go back to college and not have to take tests or anything, but just learn. And this is literally that. And then you can learn things that you wouldn't have necessarily picked in school, like how to overcome your fears with Amy Polar. Like, who does not want to take a classroom, Amy Polar? I would have spent $40,000 to take like one hour long class with Amy Polar in school. And with Masterclass, it's just $10 a month for an annual membership. And it gets you unlimited access to every instructor. You can access Masterclass on your phone, computers, smart TV, or even an audio mode. So you can be out anywhere in the world getting information and learning. It's incredible. Right now, our listeners get an additional 15% off any annual membership at masterclass.com slash sinked. That's 15% off at masterclass.com slash sinked. Masterclass.com slash sinked. We are supported by Fatty 15. Okay. We're super excited to share with you guys an incredible scientific breakthrough that supports our long-term health and wellness. See 15. It's the first essential fatty acid to be discovered in 90 years. We love this. We love new innovation. We love limited edition, get this studies of confirmed that it's three times better, broader, and safer than Omega 3. This is huge. C15 works by strengthening ourselves. It improves our mitochondrial function, which if you've listened to any of our podcasts, you know that the mitochondria is like at this point the most important thing, it affects everything, it affects brain health, It affects energy, it's huge. And C15 also protects us against damaging free radicals, which just results in long-term metabolic liver and heart health. We need it.

This is intense, okay? Help. Drunken one-night stand before my wedding. Rob's face. Yeah, this is intense. We're not here to judge. This is from anonymous duh. What if they put their last name? Hi Monica and Liz absolutely love your podcast and have from race to 35 up until now. Really feels like I'm just hanging with the gals. I'm writing in because I've made a big mistake. I'm getting married in a couple months, but I've been on holiday overseas and ended up making out with a guy after a lot of shots. Like a lot. I have a lot of blank memories. I have never been someone to do this. I can't sleep or eat. The guilt is a lot. I love my husband to be incredibly deeply. We've been together for many years already. We've been through an incredible amount together and I love our life. I've booked in for some therapy to reconcile the fact that I'm even someone who could do this. I'm so afraid to hurt him and lose everything. I'm in a total ethical dilemma. Do I keep this from him and continue our happy lives and work on forgiving myself and being the best partner I can be? Knowing I never want to do this again? Or do I confess knowing it will completely break him and our trust? Especially tough in the lead up to our wedding. Keeping it in would be a shift in my own values and the open and honest relationship we've always had. But telling him, maybe in losing it all over something completely stupid. Help. This is so hard. People might be mad at me for saying this, but I'm sorry. Like, I'm sorry you're in this position. And it really sucks when you do something you can't take back. And I think we've all been in positions where we've done something we can't take back. So what are your initial thoughts?

We can't give you a right answer here. There is no right answer. So it's just what you can live with ultimately at the end of the day. But I do think if you are telling the person so that you are relieved of guilt, knowing it's going to cause so much pain, I don't know. It's tricky for me because that's still about you. It's still like I feel too guilty. So I'm going to have to say not you Liz, but I'm going to have to say something so that I don't feel guilty. Here's what I'll say. If I was in this position and I was him, I would not want to know. Oh, wow. 100% would never want to hear this because then you can't unhear it. You'll never unhear that for the rest of your life. And this person seems that they are very adamant about correcting behavior as far as never doing this in the future, going to therapy, figuring their own shit out, understanding why. And maybe there's curbing behaviors moving forward. I think she can do that. and not ruin his life. I mean, really, I would not want to know.

It is and I mean, I've seen both examples. I've seen a couple that wasn't able to overcome it and I've seen a couple that did. So it's so specific to the person and the people and maybe part of it is knowing your partner and do you think he would like ultimately want to know? I mean, there are things that I found out in my life that I wish I never know. Like if I had never known that, I just would have been a happier person.

Yeah, that's all we can really say. I think that's my personal take is I wouldn't want to know. That's all I can sort of offer to the table and go to therapy, talk it out. Okay, here's another anonymous. I get sad after sexting. Hi Monica and Liz. I have a man friend who lives in a different state. We both like each other but can't commit to dating long distance, much to my dismay. We are in pretty regular contact and from time to time we end up sexting. It gets really heated. We send videos back and forth. He brings out a super sexual side of me and he makes me feel so wanted. The only issue is I get sad when the sexting ends. I think part of it is that there's no after sex cuddling and I'm hit with the reality of our situation being miles and miles away. Sometimes I think I shouldn't cross into the sexing territory with him to protect myself, but also it's so fun. No one has ever made me feel as sexy as he does. Any advice welcome and also I would just love to hear about your general sexing thoughts experiences. Oh, man. It's choosing the moment over the reality, like, you know, This is a pattern of addiction, right? Not that I'm not calling this person an addict, but this is what happens where it's like, oh my gosh, but this is so fun. I love this so much. I've never felt so good. I've never, so I'm picking this even though, yes, what comes with it is a sense of like, but I don't actually have anything real here, which hurts. So this is hard to say. I think it's a band-aid and I think you have to stop.

Yeah, I know it used, but use isn't the right one because you're consenting. You're consenting and you're engaging and you enjoy it. But it's just like, that wasn't real intimacy. That's like what ends up happening. I think. And if you're in a certain mindset or a certain person, that can just be totally fun, right? And like totally fine. But I think often, if you wish there was something more. Exactly. And then it's just the reality that like, oh, this can't be.

It's all part and parcel. The reason it feels so good is you're getting a hit of something you can't really have, but you feel like you have it in the moment, which is why then it's like a 10. And then you're like, oh, yeah. And then you're at 02.

There's nothing wrong with anything unless you're feeling pain. Right. And it sounds like you are. I think it's understanding the reason it feels so good is part of this and I might be worth taking a step back and seeing how you feel.

for sure. But everyone is so different because I had a one night stand with this person and he was super hot and I was excited and it was like fun enough. It was fun. But that's why it was only fun enough for me because then he leaves and then I'm just like, all right, here I am. That does not feel good to me. I did talk to my therapist about, of course, and she was like, yeah, that's so normal for so many people. Like, you personally, Monica, don't get anything from that. Right. And a lot of people do, which is amazing. Great. I wish. But I don't. And so you have to know you. Right. Anyway. Okay. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Oh, wow. This is amazing. Oh, I love this. Engagement, ring, question, updates. I'm Elizabeth. Hi, Monica and Liz. First of all, I want to say that y'all answering my question about how I hated my engagement ring was one of the highlights of my 2023. I was on the stair climber at the gym when I heard and had to contain myself. But on a real note, you two made me feel so validated and brave enough to say something. Here's the update. After five years together, I ended the relationship in December. I had been lying to myself and the people who care about me for over a year, lying in bed awake at night, not able to sleep. We were not the great couple that I was projecting out into the world. I won't go into it, but he didn't consider me. And when I saw that silver heart ring, I knew in the depths of my soul that this wasn't meant to be. So I ended my life as I knew it. I have since turned 30 moved to a new city and into my very first apartment by myself. It's hard to put into words with this experience has been like, on one hand, it's been devastating. On another hand, I'm finally learning what it means to respect myself and have self-worth. So this message goes out to all of the women out there who know in their guts that it isn't meant to be, it won't get better. You're not asking for too much and you deserve to feel considered loved and be seen. I'm still very much in the thick of starting my whole life over, but I can finally sleep again, which gives me hope that it truly was for the best and that good things are coming. If you have any advice for starting your whole life over at 30, I'm all ears. But either way, I hope that my story gives those women an unhappy relationship's courage. We don't have to settle.

Elizabeth, congrats to you for taking your life into your hands. Wow. Oh my God.

Yes, you're lying to yourself as much as you're lying to everyone else.

Right. Exactly. Oh my god, this is incredible. And also I will say you're 30, 30 so young and dodged a bullet. Yeah, your life is starting regardless of this person. 30 is when life start is true. It was perfect timing. I think to start again and I'm so excited for you. You are incredible. I hope you feel it and know it.

Choose who you want to be with. And now you know, you're starting this new chapter with so much more information, so much more knowledge about what you are willing to accept. It's gonna inform whatever happens next. You're empowered in a new way. So cool.

Well, I think we'll end on that high. Wow. Incredible. Thank you guys so much for continuing to write in. We love your questions. Please, please, please keep submitting. We have a lot of great ones. We're so lucky. And enjoy our products. Go out and purchase these products if you want.

Yeah. And we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.