Transcript for Synced: Kiki vs Bouba
SPEAKER_00
00:13 - 00:14
Hi Liz.
SPEAKER_01
00:14 - 00:26
Hi. Are you in a hotel? No. I'm at Heather's place in her guest room. So no bunk bed for me. No bunk bed. Do you miss it?
SPEAKER_00
00:26 - 00:39
You know, I don't. That's understandable. How are you? How's LA? LA's good. We're just coming out of a holiday weekend. It was very chill. It was nice.
SPEAKER_01
00:39 - 00:42
Did you relax? Did you take the time off? I wasn't sure if you were going to work.
SPEAKER_00
00:42 - 01:00
I worked some, but I had some relaxation time. I've been watching a ton of duty yesterday's flightless bird six feet under. You're still in your six feet under bin. I'm on season two now. It's so interesting. It makes me want to talk about death with you.
SPEAKER_01
01:00 - 01:03
I feel like that's one of our top three topics.
SPEAKER_00
01:03 - 01:10
Definitely one of our top three thoughts for sure. But first I want to hear because you're in New York and you've been in New York for about a week.
SPEAKER_01
01:10 - 01:42
Yes, I've been here for a week. It's been the best. The only thing that rivals me in New York is September, New York. And I think I'd still choose May, although I do love September. But within like a few minutes of getting here, I thought of you. I didn't text you about it because I wanted to tell you on the show. But I had a married man event. Oh my God. Within the first few minutes of just like walking in the streets. What happened? So I'm eating outside. We'll do a shout out. Sweet green. I don't think they need it. But wow, that's not what I expected in New York.
SPEAKER_00
01:42 - 01:42
Liz.
SPEAKER_01
01:45 - 02:52
I'm basic, okay? Also, to be clear, I was a sweet green. I was part of the OG group. Like, I like the green for everyone else did when it was just like, there was one shop in the West Village. Anyway, I just needed something fast and quick and I just sat outside and ate my salad. And then this guy walks by, he like, looks at me and I kind of look at him and then he double takes and then I look at him again. And then I'm like, okay, whatever, keep me in my salad. Then he, you turns, comes back. And he's like, hey, are you Liz? And I was like, yeah, he's been following your work. And then we like, are totally flirting. Then at one point he's like, should I sit down? And I was like, yeah, oh my God. What's literally half an hour into this conversation? I notice the ring. not to victim blame, but at this point, I guess I got to like scan the hands. I just assumed based on the vibe that this was like full on. And so then I see the ring, and I'm like so confused, because again, at the beginning, one of the things he said was like, oh, like, I don't drink, and I was like, yeah, I stopped drinking a while ago, like, how do you find dating? I asked him a literal question about dating. He didn't say like, I married. What?
SPEAKER_00
02:55 - 02:58
Wait, that was so bad of him.
SPEAKER_01
02:58 - 03:20
Well, at one point, he was like, let's get breakfast while here. And I was like, you're married, right? And then he's like, yeah, but my wife is a big fan. I've been texting her. I'm with Liz. And then I was like, okay, we're not meeting for breakfast. Thank you, but like, you know, so it ended, you know, jovial matter, but I was left. Just I think I'm just not gonna be open to pod strangers who are my inch.
SPEAKER_00
03:20 - 03:26
What was the kind of conversation you were having? I think this is indicative. Was it about your work?
SPEAKER_01
03:26 - 04:01
Not really. Like it was very all over the place and like making jokes about sign-feld episodes that we like. It wasn't like your hot like it wasn't like sexual which would have been weird anyways, but it was definitely like to me flirty, but I guess if you're texting your wife about it, it's fine. Anyway, so yeah, I just legitimately don't I guess it's a thing women will be like check men's hands for rings and I think I don't I just go off a vibe I guess I also feel like a lot of people aren't married or a divorce, so I don't think about it, but I guess I have to.
SPEAKER_00
04:01 - 04:07
We'll also in Canada, they don't get married as much as you said, so maybe you're just not as aware of the right.
SPEAKER_01
04:07 - 04:13
Yes, it's not, yes, there are other ways of signifying or love to each other than getting married.
SPEAKER_00
04:13 - 04:34
I will say I do think I look at that more than I think. If there is a hot guy, I do think I scan their hand quickly. It's almost subconscious. I think it's sort of ingrained here. And even though I like that in Canada, they show their love in much different ways, I will say this is easy to just see like, oh yeah, no.
SPEAKER_01
04:34 - 04:59
Yes, this is cemented the need for me to be a little bit. Yeah, less optimistic. I mean, it was a nice conversation. If I'd known he was married, I probably would have, I mean, anyway, we've already talked about this. But he got so much validation out of it. And I was just like, OK, now I feel worse. Exactly. I don't want to continue this like hang out. But he was like very confused. And I was like, I don't know how else to explain this to you.
SPEAKER_00
04:59 - 06:00
OK, if you were married here in America. And so you had rings. And then your husband said, because I know this about a lot of men. They like don't like it. They say it's like comfort, right? And to be fair, most men aren't as used to having jewelry on the grand as women are stereotypically speaking in generalizations there, obviously. But I know some men who don't want to wear it or don't wear it or like Dax doesn't have one. He has a tattoo instead of a bell. And I think another one of my friends has something like that because they don't like the feeling of the jewelry, but what would happen if you were married and then like a month in, your husband said, oh, I just like hate this ring. Like, I don't like wearing it. I fidget with it all the time. All I do is take it off and drop it and I don't want to wear it anymore. What would you say?
SPEAKER_01
06:00 - 07:09
That's such a good question. So I know I shouldn't be putting things out there that are bad, but I'm going to put it out there that if I ever get married, there's a 99, like I've already accepted that I will probably lose the right. Oh, it's just gonna happen. I lose really important things. So I identify with, well, maybe it wouldn't be the discomfort as much as the, like, fear that I would lose it or, like, my invisaline, like, to me is like the closest thing to an engagement ring. I lost that a lot of times. You know, you need to put it down and remember where you put it down. And so I don't think I would mind. I guess if I have no inkling that this is because he wants to flirt with people, if the relationship is secure, Right. Like, everything depends on the relationship being secure. Like, there's so many times that I've been so upset about things when I dated one person and then can't imagine being upset over that with another person, right? Like, and when I look back at those relationships, I'm like, it made so much sense in the context of the relationship because the relationship wasn't secure. And so if the relationship was really secure, yeah, I probably wouldn't mind. And I'd be kind of cool. You can get matching tattoos, which kind of is fun. How would you feel?
SPEAKER_00
07:09 - 07:29
I do understand the idea that that's not comfortable, but I also like the idea of my husband having an acknowledgement of our marriage on their person. I do like that because I guess I'm so traditional. I'm a trad wife. I'm going to be a trad wife.
SPEAKER_01
07:31 - 07:59
You becoming a traduant would be the biggest plot twist in American history. No, I kind of want that to happen. This actually is something I've been thinking about. Do you ever think about doing like a full pivot? There's this Republican senator or sorry, he's running for office. I can't remember where, but he wasn't in a pal player was super pro Black Lives Matter was like a huge advocate. And now he's totally done on 180. He recently said that women are becoming too mouthy. That's the
SPEAKER_00
07:59 - 08:05
Oh, why is that the new thing circling our streets? Our streets?
SPEAKER_01
08:05 - 08:27
I mean, what the fuck? It's really concerning. Anyway, I was just reading about this guy and he just basically did this 180 where he was very progressive and he's like on Alex Jones like he's full on conspiracy theory like Women have gone too mouthy Republican Senate candidate in Minnesota. Royce White and sorry, he was up. He reformer pro basketball player.
SPEAKER_00
08:27 - 08:29
That's you being mouthy getting it wrong.
SPEAKER_01
08:32 - 08:35
Mouthy is also so coded.
SPEAKER_00
08:35 - 08:44
Who put that thumbs up? Did you notice that little thumbs up? Oh, it's a me. Oh, yeah yours is doing all kinds of stuff. I don't do it hard.
SPEAKER_01
08:44 - 08:52
Oh, wow. I mean thumbs up also means fuck you in tech speak. Oh, it does. It's like putting a period at the end of a text.
SPEAKER_00
08:53 - 08:59
Oh, I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I do not abide by that.
SPEAKER_01
08:59 - 09:14
If you thumbs up a text, you know, if the thumbs up, you can heart attack now. So if you thumbs up something, Rob just thumbs up my last text, if you thumbs up something, it's like no worries with a period. It means like fine.
SPEAKER_00
09:14 - 09:31
I disagree. It depends on who you're talking to. I think thumbs up is professional. Depends on whom talking to what I'm doing, but I don't always like a heart. Heart is very familiar. And sometimes whatever we're talking about isn't conducive to a heart, I'm all for a thumbs up.
SPEAKER_01
09:31 - 10:11
I'll use it if someone's like, I'll be there in five minutes or like, do you want the low fat yogurt? Then I'll thumbs up it as like a shorthand to yes. But I think if it's like cat, um, boy friend, they live together and cat boyfriend I like done a favor for cat's parents. And so he sent this texting like, hey, I just emptied out your dada dada dada. And then cat's dad like thumbs up to it and cat had to explain to her dad like the difference between a heart and a thumbs up that a thumbs up can come across as like a little bit. not passive-aggressive. It's just like, why aren't you writing something? It feels like, yeah, it feels like you're doing that instead of like engaging with what the person is saying.
SPEAKER_00
10:11 - 10:25
But that's the whole point of those things is so you don't have to engage. It's just like, I'm acknowledging this, but there's no reason to be writing anything. Because you don't feel that way with the heart, hearts the same thing.
SPEAKER_01
10:25 - 10:39
Okay, I'm just thinking of like a situation with my roommate. Let's say that I'm like, hey, I accidentally use some of your eggs gonna replace them. If she were to like thumbs up that instead of like, no worries. Yeah, I think I would be like, oh, she's
SPEAKER_00
10:40 - 10:59
She must see. I mean, but if she just hearted it, I would feel the same way. I do think if you're apologizing for something or you're showing up with some sort of emotion and that the response is only one of those little, like short cuts, then I agree it is a little past of aggressive regardless of what the actual thing is.
SPEAKER_01
10:59 - 11:10
And I think there's still a tier that like the heart would hurt a little less, but the thumbs up would signal. I think you're right, then some situations putting a heart is like weird or like to intimate.
SPEAKER_00
11:10 - 11:11
Yeah, it's too intimate.
SPEAKER_01
11:11 - 11:18
The heart is intimate, but what do you think is like sending up purple heart versus hearting something.
SPEAKER_00
11:18 - 11:37
Happy Memorial Day. Purple hearts are for a happy Memorial Day. If you send me a purple heart, I know you're saying happy Memorial Day. If you send me a blue heart, I think you're saying I'm at the hospital. If you send a red heart classic pink heart, I'm a baby or like the hand heart.
SPEAKER_01
11:37 - 11:45
I just think there's like a heart. There's tears. I feel like there's a conversation about this. Like at first, even if you're dating someone, you don't send a red heart.
SPEAKER_00
11:45 - 11:49
No! No! No! No hearts at first.
SPEAKER_01
11:49 - 11:53
Well, not the first date, but if you guys are dating, I think it's fine.
SPEAKER_00
11:53 - 11:56
So you only send red hearts if you've said I love you?
SPEAKER_01
11:56 - 12:02
Well, maybe not I love you, but that you're like exclusive. That you're clearly like falling in love. Interesting.
SPEAKER_00
12:02 - 12:14
I am a smiley face girl for a while. It's gonna be a minute before you get a heart. Most people don't. I mean, most people I'm dating, I mean. I don't get far enough in that they've received hearts.
SPEAKER_01
12:14 - 12:15
Have you ever sent a red heart?
SPEAKER_00
12:15 - 12:21
I mean, it's hard for me to know because I send them all the time to my friends. I do send red hearts a lot.
SPEAKER_01
12:21 - 12:30
But dating, do you send red hearts to guys that you're not dating that are your friends? Yeah. Or is that inappropriate?
SPEAKER_00
12:30 - 12:34
I mean, I don't think it is. I think I sent a red heart to Charlie this morning.
SPEAKER_01
12:34 - 12:40
I would feel a little weird about it. If it happened, I would be like, I should probably choose a different color.
SPEAKER_00
12:40 - 13:20
Any of the people in my close friend group, DAX, Charlie, Eric, Matt, Jess, definitely. They all get red hearts for me. Am I skipping some? Oh, Ryan. Yeah. They all get red hearts. I have no, I have no worries about that. But that's because they're all Family. It's a different tier. You know what's interesting? Well, I was gonna say I don't know if I would send a red heart to Callie's husband, but maybe I would. I think I would. Now I'm just overthinking it. If it's anyone I feel safe with, then yeah, I feel fine about it. I think I've sent Robert Red Heart. Have I?
SPEAKER_03
13:20 - 13:21
Yeah, I think so.
SPEAKER_01
13:21 - 13:52
There you go. Wow. See, in the case of Charlie and Eric and all this stuff, your friends of them independently, they're not your friends boyfriend or husband, they're your friend individual relationships. Yeah, Heather's boyfriend, like I would never send her a heart like I'm that would be weird. That's so inappropriate. Who be insane. Oh my god. Nobody would make me, yeah, I would just not do that. It's different if they're your friend versus I mean, it's all these like relationships are so funny. Hold on. I want to check something.
SPEAKER_00
13:52 - 14:03
Okay. Whew. I thought for a second that I sent a red heart to someone I was talking to for a second who ghosted me, but I didn't. I just checked. Thank God. Dodge the bullet.
SPEAKER_01
14:03 - 14:12
Oh my God. He does not deserve not even a purple heart. He doesn't deserve Memorial Day. He doesn't deserve any heart emoji.
SPEAKER_00
14:12 - 14:15
What do you think yellow heart means? Happy spring.
SPEAKER_01
14:15 - 14:25
I feel like yellow heart is the least romantic. Okay, very friendly. Yeah, very friendly, unassuming, non-threatening. It's light. I'm not a yellow heart girl.
SPEAKER_00
14:25 - 14:40
Yellow heart girls are like Hufflepuffs. Sorry. I know that there's so many Hufflepuffs out there and they're great. I'm not against Huffles, but that's a very friendly, warm person who sends a yellow heart and that's not something personality.
SPEAKER_01
14:41 - 14:45
What do you think is the most popular color of heart, red?
SPEAKER_00
14:45 - 15:01
I feel like it's probably purple. You think it's purple? I think it's pink or red. Rob, can you look it up? Yeah. We're all on zoom for the listener. I don't like purple. There's something about purple, even though purple is my favorite color. There's something about it that gives me like.
SPEAKER_03
15:01 - 15:03
Yeah, it's the red one. Yes.
SPEAKER_01
15:04 - 15:06
Is there a first second and third?
SPEAKER_03
15:06 - 15:19
I'm seeing meanings. There's purple heart commonly used represent love, support, close bonds, and admiration for things. Blue, loyalty, trust, and tranquility. Green is nature, growth, and harmony.
SPEAKER_01
15:19 - 15:22
That's like very, I'll never use green in my life.
SPEAKER_00
15:23 - 15:25
Oh, are these green? Sometimes I like trying them out.
SPEAKER_03
15:25 - 15:29
Yellow's liking in friendship as opposed to romantic love.
SPEAKER_00
15:29 - 15:32
There we go. Yeah, we knew it's all pretty intuitive.
SPEAKER_01
15:32 - 15:34
I think that these are definitions that are like...
SPEAKER_00
15:35 - 15:56
Yeah. Edgston Stone. Although, to me, purple has a sadness to it. So that's why I don't love it. Blue has a little bit of a sadness to it, but also in a sexy way. It's like a longing. Oh, interesting. Blue is an I miss you for me. Yeah, there's some depth to blue. Oh, ding ding ding. Oh, depth. I thought you said depth.
SPEAKER_01
16:00 - 16:07
Death is depth. Oh, God, tell me about it. But do you want to talk about death or do you want to keep talking about emojis?
SPEAKER_00
16:07 - 16:17
I think we've exhausted emojis. Well, we haven't actually because Dax and I got in a, like, not a fight, but a coral about an emoji because I've been using this girl a little bit.
SPEAKER_01
16:18 - 16:23
Yeah, you've been using it on me too. Yeah, I like it.
SPEAKER_00
16:23 - 17:56
I like her. I want to be her. I think that's sort of to me. She's carefree. She's like, I don't care. It's fine. Whatever shrug emoji. Dax thinks that's apathetic, which it is, but I take that in a positive way. Like, apathetic, like, doesn't really matter who cares, nonchalant, yet nonchalant. You know what I don't feel about? Death, at all. Okay, something horrible happened. So I've been watching six feet under, show about death. We've talked about it, and it's old, so it's fun, because it's from early 2000s, early ox. And when we did this episode of Flightless Bird, we showed scenes from our favorite episodes. And one of David's favorite episodes is the finale of the series. And so he showed the final scene, which is how everyone passes basically. Like, it was so beautiful, but I didn't know any of the characters, right? So it didn't mean anything. It was just like, oh, wow, yeah, that's so beautiful ending. And yesterday, I was editing that episode. And while I was editing it, I thought, oh, I kind of want to rewatch that. bad idea for a few reasons. One, it was then so devastating, because now I know them. And two, there was a huge spoiler. It was so bad, and I was crying so hard for so long. I couldn't get over it. It was getting very existential. I could not believe people die.
SPEAKER_01
17:56 - 18:20
It's really not okay. It's not nice. We do not think about death nearly as much as we should because it would make life very difficult. If you were thinking about the fact that every single person around you or you could die at any moment, like you wouldn't want to go to work. Like you wouldn't want to do the boring things of life. You would just want to enjoy every single moment that you have with a free single person. But it's wild that we don't think about it.
SPEAKER_00
18:20 - 19:11
I know it's the only way out that final scene of the show because at the beginning of the show, I think we talked with this. The cold open is a death and then that's the person in the casket for the episode. So there's like a little scene where somebody dies and then the screen goes white and you see Jeffrey K Williams. 1959 to 2001, then the show starts. And I just had this overwhelming feel like I was just going through all the people in my head and thinking like, we are all going to have a timestamp and we don't know what it is. And it is so overwhelming. And my therapist told me to start doing some more present moment practices and obviously I haven't been doing them. So this is like not the show for me to be doing right now when I'm supposed to be doing present moment practices, but it's so good.
SPEAKER_01
19:11 - 20:23
Thinking about death does make you appreciate the present moment. Like weirdly, I feel like turning 37 for whatever reason, the number just feels like closer to 40. I mean, it's the closest to 40 I've ever been. Honestly, but there's something about it where in the last few months, I've been weirdly realizing it's gonna end. 40 is so young and I'm not even 40, but weirdly like I've gone from being quote unquote young or like feeling like whatever. Like you don't think about how much time you'll have to like now I kind of do. And it's kind of nice. It does make me appreciate my life a little bit more. Like when I can sort of connect with that deeper you know, instead of just like, uh, wrinkles or like noticing, I'm getting old in negative ways. I'm like, oh, wow, like, this goes by fast. I like relate to old people now. Like the way that old people talk, where they're like, one day you're going to, it's, you're in a blink and you're going to be, you know, or my parents were in their 70s being like, I still feel like I'm 27. Like, oh, right, I'm going to feel this way. I'm waiting when I'm there. And like, I just relate to aging in a different way, I think. But you're young, you're still 36. Does this allow you to be thankful for life or are you just in the anxiety part?
SPEAKER_00
20:23 - 21:03
So I was really in high anxiety mode, but then I did step back. I mean, it's such a cliche. Like it just sounds so cheesy. But death is why life is meaningful. If we didn't have it, It wouldn't be. And so it's such a fucked up, divine, tragic comedy that we all come here. We all fall in love and then we all experience death. It's crazy. Life is crazy that it's designed this way. It's beautiful. Like it is beautiful that we all have some time on this earth and we do stuff here. You know, and then we leave. Sometimes you need that.
SPEAKER_01
21:03 - 21:43
It's like I felt like the clips did that for me for some weird reason. because you don't think about life while you're living. You just live. It's like you don't think about breathing while you breathe. When you're not able to breathe is when you really think about breathing and that's all you can think about, right? Yeah, I'm like coming back to the time, like, self imposed time, like, but no, you're right, you're right. And so the clips for me was like, I don't think about the fact that we're living in this universe. Like, that's why I don't, this solar system in the universe and like run a floating rock. Like, yeah, you don't, I don't think about that on a daily basis, but the clips kind of forces you to and you're like, what? life is so enchanting and magic.
SPEAKER_00
21:43 - 22:03
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22:04 - 22:22
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22:23 - 22:32
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22:32 - 22:55
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SPEAKER_00
22:56 - 23:15
Sing to sponsored by Better Help. We love Better Help. We love therapy. We talk about it all the time. The benefits are like, you can't even quantify or qualify the benefits over time. Like my therapist said is a phrase that comes out of my mouth before times a day.
SPEAKER_01
23:16 - 23:37
It's also, I feel like I've benefited so much from other people being in therapy. Yeah. Yeah. Like I just feel like friends and family and you know, in my relationships, if I know that someone is in therapy or has done therapy, it just, I know it's going to be so much more of a healthier, easier relationship. Yeah, just the world is so much better when more of us are in therapy.
SPEAKER_00
23:37 - 24:02
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24:03 - 24:18
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SPEAKER_00
24:18 - 25:22
I also had the thought And this is not to alienate anyone because I really understand religiosity and I understand the need and the desire to believe in a divine power or someone or something that's orchestrating all of this, I get it, but also It feels to me sometimes that that idea and that mentality, giving ownership to a God, kind of robbs life of its actual magic. It is magic. All of this is incredible. It's almost hard to believe it's real. I think sometimes handing it over to a God is unfair, a little bit, because I think it's special on its own. It's like life is beautiful and wonderful. magical and awful and all these things on its own. I know often we need answers and we need like reasons and we need control and that's why a lot of these things sprout but I don't know. It's like to me it's kind of okay that that we just all exist and that's special on its own.
SPEAKER_01
25:23 - 26:08
Yeah, I think having a higher power from my understanding of it, it's actually relinquishing control, realizing that, like, in many ways, the weather system is God. You don't have to, I think, believe in a guy in the sky to believe in God. There are forces that are beyond us, and so it's a way to relinquish, actually. sort of the idea that, yeah, you're in control here, you're the complete master of your own faith, which like I've had to work really hard because it helps me when I think that there's a higher meaning or a higher order and that me trying to do everything I can to reverse that is just making the universe kind of laugh because it's so much more powerful than me, but but I see your point meaning that like you don't even need to create someone right that's like pulling the strings in order to be an awe.
SPEAKER_00
26:08 - 26:56
I think everyone should believe whatever they believe and whatever gets you through is great. But I even think needing there to be a force bigger than us in order to say, you know what, I don't have control here. It's also a mechanism, right? As opposed to just knowing, this is part of existence you don't have control. I mean, it's just much harder, but I don't know. I just find it interesting. And then I do think there is control in a lot of organized religions about after life and stuff. Like there is like, well, if I do this, then I have that after. And that comes, I do believe from needing security and safety that like, I'll see these people again, which I get. I wish I believed it. Because I think I would be so much less upset and anxious. Oh yeah, it's all fine. I'll see them again.
SPEAKER_01
26:56 - 27:13
That was the hardest part of doing any 12 step for me was this higher power stuff because I was like I was never raised in that and like it's still as hard for me. Yeah, I'm jealous of people who just do it naturally or like effortlessly or like really believe it whereas I have to really get in the mood.
SPEAKER_00
27:13 - 27:27
But love is a higher power. When you think about what happens to you, when you're in love, or love somebody, it's profound. It's intangible and it is the real source of life.
SPEAKER_01
27:27 - 28:20
And so Sanctu said that, because one of my friends just yesterday was talking about how relationships have higher powers. She was like, oh, you don't have to figure out this thing. Like, your relationship with this person has a higher power. And just that, I was like, oh, wow, that's so nice. to like yeah think about yeah I don't have to like do all these things or figure it out or fix it or like write that there's a higher order of things and it'll happen if it's meant to happen and it won't if it doesn't kind of takes away like some of the on my end like neuroticism around it but yeah that's literally what she said and so it's so funny it's very somewhat what you just shared which like is a helpful way to approach like dating and relationship. I mean, any kind of relationship, whatever that means to you, right? I mean, some people, it's like the whole like no free will thing that there's no free will anyways. So I don't have to go down rabbit holes or control everything, right? Because it's already decided in a way. I know.
SPEAKER_00
28:22 - 30:20
on the fence about free will. I mean, I don't think it's all or nothing. And I think a lot of people in this debate do think it's all or nothing. I definitely like when we had Robert Sapolsky on and his book determined is about determinism and free will. And you know, some people ask us a lot. What's the one thing you've taken from this show from armchair after doing like seven hundred episodes or whatever, which is a hard answer. Normally, my answer is that no one knows anything actually because you hear from this expert and they know everything and then another expert on the same topic that also knows everything has a completely different take. And again, it's not all or nothing. It's we take pieces. But anyway, I think actually something that has changed my perspective after doing a show is this Robert Sapolsky episode, because he really, I mean, we like know it sort of, a family, but this is the first time it's stuck with me that we do not have any control over our fundamental circumstances in life. And that sets the stage for life in such everything. Literally everything in such a real way and so it has changed my opinion on so many things one like everyone is just trying to take credit for the things they have like sorry you can't and also easing up on people you know just like not being so punitive not being so judgmental it's like no one chose even when people make horrible decisions And I'm not saying that we shouldn't have a justice system. There should be repercussions and consequences, but there should also be grace across the board and a lack of judgment and a lack definitely, a lack of superiority. Because there's so much like, oh my God, I would never do that. I could never do that. Yeah, you could never because you have a life that's completely different than that person's and you have no idea what you were capable of doing in that circumstance.
SPEAKER_01
30:20 - 30:31
So it's definitely changed the way I view that it's a great thing to remember that particularly the most important things of your life were totally determined.
SPEAKER_00
30:31 - 30:49
And the things you think you worked so hard for, you did, like, no one's taking away that you worked hard, but the ability to work harder, the things behind that, you didn't pick. And you got lucky. Like, we're all so lucky. We are so lucky. Anyhow, anything else on dev before we do questions?
SPEAKER_01
30:49 - 30:53
I wanted to ask you about the hot road and boyfriend trend. What's that?
SPEAKER_00
30:53 - 31:12
Oh my god. Hot rodent. Ew. I already hate this, but I want to hear it. I know. Also, look, when I went to the store the other day, a different store they had my soaps that were on last week's kiss. You guys. Oh, look, I can smell them all the way from here. This one is a new scent orange and it smells so good.
SPEAKER_01
31:12 - 31:45
I can't wait to come smell smell it. Such a weird thing. Say. Okay, what's hot rodent? Okay, hot rodent boyfriend is we're moving away from Golden Retriever boyfriend, which was the previous ideal of the boyfriend that is very doting and overly interested in pleasing and being of service. And now hot rodent boyfriend summer, it's coming from the Challenger's movie. Apparently there were a lot of memes internet commentary about the fact that the two guys in the movie kind of look like rats.
SPEAKER_00
31:46 - 31:48
Oh my god, that's so not an negative way.
SPEAKER_01
31:48 - 32:11
What? I guess there's a movie with like rats from our childhood or something like that. And like women have been like, oh, I had such a crush on the rat in the movie. Like, do you know how like we definitely all had crushes on cartoon characters? Like, I don't know who your man crush or female crush was or animal crush, which is sounds weird, but when you're kid, I've just never liked animals or cartoons.
SPEAKER_00
32:11 - 32:18
You want to fuck with Symba? Fucked Simba or fucked with. Fucked with. Oh my god. God.
SPEAKER_01
32:18 - 32:27
Simba's a baby. And most importantly, a lion. I think that. In the order of. Yeah, just like no, actually don't want to be.
SPEAKER_00
32:27 - 32:33
Worst is that he's a child. Then he's a lion. Then he's a cartoon.
SPEAKER_01
32:33 - 32:39
Yes. Well, human baby versus animal. I would have to. Yeah. But baby lion, I would focus on the life.
SPEAKER_00
32:40 - 32:53
Okay, lion piece. Well, this is telling, like if we're talking about that with the in particular, the most attractive one, to me isn't Symba. Symba's so childlike, obviously, because he's a child. It'd be Mufasa.
SPEAKER_01
32:53 - 33:07
Oh, twist. You like Mufasa even though he's the villain? No, Mufasa's the dad. Oh, scar is the villain. Scar, okay, for a minute, I thought you much scar. And I was like, we got to do a deep dive on that.
SPEAKER_00
33:08 - 33:11
No, Mufasa, the nice dad who dies.
SPEAKER_01
33:11 - 33:15
Spoiler. Is it your fetish that you would have taken care of him? Well, he was dying. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00
33:15 - 33:22
It's probably. But also, no, he was this capable, strong, nice dad.
SPEAKER_01
33:22 - 33:58
And then they killed him. I mean, Disney movies and killing parents. It is so fucked up. The way they just killed so many parents. Yeah, who's the hottest character? I had a major crush on Thumber. The skunk. What's her name and Bambi? Let me look around. I wanted both of them. But that was a common theme for me as a kid. Like, I was obsessed with couples because I think I was already bisexual. Oh, interesting. I love lowest and Clark. Like, lowest and Clark the explorers. No, no, no, the real with, um, with Lori. What's her name? No, a Tory spelling.
SPEAKER_00
33:58 - 34:00
Oh, like Superman.
SPEAKER_03
34:00 - 34:00
Terry Hatcher.
SPEAKER_00
34:01 - 34:07
Terry Hatcher, oh my god, wait, and then Christopher Reeves, Pean Cane. Okay, hold on. You're making me look up a lot of stuff.
SPEAKER_03
34:07 - 34:08
The skunks name in BamD is Flower.
SPEAKER_01
34:09 - 34:11
Oh, it's flower. It's such a hot name.
SPEAKER_00
34:11 - 34:16
Flower and thumper. Dean Cane is an American actor and police officer.
SPEAKER_01
34:16 - 34:23
I interviewed him recently and I told him I had such a crush on him. Even though we have vastly different political beliefs on the other end.
SPEAKER_00
34:23 - 34:27
Yeah, I'm not liking some of these things I'm seeing.
SPEAKER_01
34:27 - 34:50
Yeah, yeah. They would be an unlikely romance. But I loved cup like I think I just wanted to be enough reason. You know, we all do, right? We're just obsessed with three couples. You know, Benifer, it's very common. Yeah, those were my, but then I also love Prince Eric. I mean, I loved all of it. I dated all of Aladdin and Jasmine both of them were so hot.
SPEAKER_00
34:50 - 35:31
Yeah. This is unfortunate. I can't really relate. I don't think I was drawn very much to make believe, especially when it was like cartoon that was too far away. I couldn't fantasize about that because it was so obviously not real. You don't when I was little. When I was young, I was not scared of monsters because those aren't real. Like I was scared of kidnappers and robbers. Those are real dangers. And so I think it worked the same way with attraction. Like when I was in love with that boy's dad, he was a real boy and a real man. All right. And he was hot.
SPEAKER_01
35:31 - 35:40
Wow, that's interesting. When you did like kids stuff for your little embarrassed, like, we're like, ah, this lot cool like this kid thing.
SPEAKER_00
35:40 - 36:13
I think the opposite. I was probably like, I should like this. Everyone likes it. Oh wow. But I don't. Interesting. Disney movies didn't really do it for me in the way that they did for so many people. I mean, I did like Lion King. I will say that one really stood out. You didn't like the Disney princess? Like little mermaid? Not for you. Wow. I did sort of, but girls are obsessed with specifically the Disney princesses and they have the figurines and little dollies and I didn't. And I didn't care.
SPEAKER_01
36:13 - 36:28
That's so surprising because I would have thought because it's such a fantasy element to it, right? Of these perfect. I mean, that's what the difference doesn't sure you want to be the girl, but you also want to fall in love like that, right? You want the love and the minor shining armor, but you didn't relate to that.
SPEAKER_00
36:28 - 36:54
Now it is kind of weird in real life movies you did though. Yes, live action had my heart like say by the bad. I had crushes on all the real people. live action. But the cartoons, not so much. And you're right. It's kind of weird that I didn't even connect with their love. The strongest pull was Mufasa dying and then leaving his family. And did you cry?
SPEAKER_01
36:54 - 36:57
You still attached to the story or you were still like this in the real.
SPEAKER_00
36:57 - 37:13
I was very attached to him dying. I think my mom cried in Lion King and I think that's in my head. She took me to the movie theater and she cried. I barely was in her cry. So I think that was Ding Ding Ding's scar in.
SPEAKER_01
37:16 - 37:17
Right, that your mom is upset.
SPEAKER_00
37:17 - 37:32
You don't want to see your, I mean, at that age, or even now, I never want to. It's too traumatic. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't. It's unsettling. We're not stable in that way. I wish we were. Me too. I think it'd be. better off.
SPEAKER_01
37:32 - 37:54
There's like a version of us in a universe, pointing back to like, I don't think everything's pretty determined, but I think that it's like everything I ever learned once. There's a universe where I, you end up with this person that you ended up rejecting or passing over. And I think there's a version of the universe where we're more stable. And we're totally different. That's kind of fun to think about. We cards full.
SPEAKER_00
37:56 - 38:06
No. Okay, wait, wait, wait. I wonder how long you got. I know. But we have this, thank God, back up. But should I dump and then rejoin? What should she do, Rob?
SPEAKER_03
38:06 - 38:14
Yeah, or if you have another card, but you probably don't. I would just try to delete some stuff off that, but make sure you don't believe what we have.
SPEAKER_01
38:14 - 38:17
Okay, let me. I got the gun. It looks.
SPEAKER_00
38:17 - 38:22
Oh, my God. So scary. Okay, so I stopped it. But don't delete what you.
SPEAKER_03
38:22 - 38:23
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01
38:27 - 38:31
Try this again. Okay. Is eight gigs like a small cart?
SPEAKER_03
38:31 - 38:35
Yep. Okay. Monica's got a 128 gig card program.
SPEAKER_00
38:35 - 39:04
Oh, shit. Okay, we're back. Back, baby. Okay, so hot rodent boyfriend. Yeah. So I just looked it up. We had a little bit of a technical difficulty. And while we were dealing with it, I looked it up. And yeah, I guess the challengers boys are apparently like Roddy St. James, the rap from flushed away and Stuart little. But I don't know flushed away.
SPEAKER_01
39:04 - 39:29
Me neither. I think that's maybe a Gen Z era like we were really too old. I don't know it either. But yeah, girls had crushes, I guess, on those characters on Roddy St. James. Again, it sounds like a negative, but it's not that they have rat-like features and that this fits in the category of Jeremy White Allen. Jeremy Allen White. Jeremy Allen White. I don't not get it. I'm just not a stand.
SPEAKER_00
39:29 - 39:38
I like so get it. That's why I think hot rodent boyfriend is just what I want as a boyfriend. That's my type, I think. Well, what's happening with their personalities?
SPEAKER_01
39:38 - 40:00
Personality is their sweet. Like, but they're a little dirty. Oh, like, sexually? No, I think just they have a scruff. And like, again, golden retriever is preppy coded, you know, and like, proper polo shirts. Exactly. Whereas hot rodent. It's like a shower, mate. I think it's a little more feminine to be honest, but I don't think Jeremiah on white's feminine at all.
SPEAKER_00
40:00 - 40:18
Interesting. This is body is not, oh god, we're getting into scary territory, but there's not finnowy. To me it's more of the frame that makes it. Like these challengers boys are not stick thin. Are they actually? I don't know enough about it.
SPEAKER_01
40:18 - 40:21
I mean, they're pretty skinny, but they're muscular though.
SPEAKER_00
40:21 - 40:24
Right. And so's Jeremiah on white. He's a very muscular. Totally.
SPEAKER_02
40:24 - 40:34
Pedro Pascal is a little wrote it. Really? He's so hot. Yeah, he's hot, but it's true that it's like a little rougher.
SPEAKER_00
40:34 - 41:04
He's not like a Brad Pitt clean cut. I mean, Brad Pitt can get scruffy, but his face is just so pretty. Support for sing to comes from Vega Moore. I love Vega Moore. I was at a hotel the other day and I forgot my Vega Moore. And so I had to use other shampoo and I could feel it immediately. My hair feels disgusting.
SPEAKER_01
41:04 - 41:15
Yeah, I now need to travel with my Vega Moore. What I love about Vega more is that it's all natural, but it like keeps your hair full and really healthy. Yes. And yeah, I'm like, it doesn't feel tripped.
SPEAKER_00
41:15 - 41:23
Yeah, which I think is really nice because some champions and conditioners, I feel your feels really dry after right Vega more. Yeah, it just feels very nourished.
SPEAKER_01
41:24 - 42:02
Some other products can be super clean and cruelty-free, but there's a trade-off. Like, it's just not as good and with Begomore, it actually works and it's made with all those ingredients. There's no trade-off. You can still feel good about what you're putting in your hair and it looks great. Give your hair the power of the little pink bottle with megamore. For a limited time, sing to listeners get 20% off their first order by going to megamore.com slash synced and use code synced at checkout. That's VEGA-M-O-U-R.com slash S-Y-N-C-E-D. Code synced to save 20% off your first order. VEGA-M-O-U-R.com slash S-Y-N-C-E-D. Code synced.
SPEAKER_00
42:03 - 42:41
Support for sink to comes from Zokdok. We all know there are things in life you have to compromise on. We just talked about that. We've been talking about it in episodes as part of life. You have to give a little bit, but not when it comes to your health. We just, there's no time for that. Yep. So don't go back to that one doctor who you know isn't great like we've all done this where you have a doctor and you don't really feel like figuring out a new doctor but they're only okay and you're only getting sort of half care but you don't have to do that you can go to the doctor which is the place you can find in book doctors who will make you feel comfortable, the listen to you, prioritize your health. It's all in one place. It's so easy.
SPEAKER_01
42:41 - 42:59
It's so easy and it's so convenient. You can search by location by availability. Sometimes it's like I need to see a doctor two day. Yes, after noon. So you can search by availability. You can search by insurance, right? I need a doctor that is covered by my insurance. All you have to do is take a photo of your insurance card and they're going to figure it out for you.
SPEAKER_00
42:59 - 43:21
And it's a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Go to zok.com slash sink and download the zok.app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today that's zocdoc.com slash sink. S.Y. N. C. D. Zok.com slash sink.
SPEAKER_01
43:29 - 43:36
Have you heard about the whole kiki? Okay, this is the last kiki versus booba.
SPEAKER_00
43:36 - 43:40
What kiki versus booba?
SPEAKER_01
43:40 - 43:53
The hell is that? No, it's like a real thing. It's good. So it's a very hard concept. It's way and on a podcast, but I'm going to try it. Scientists gave people two shapes. And one of them is almost like the electric, like I've got to how to describe it.
SPEAKER_00
43:53 - 44:00
Like the starburst. Can you see it? Okay. Yeah, kind of like a star with sharp edges.
SPEAKER_01
44:00 - 44:06
Yeah, almost like a boom explosion. Yeah, emoji. And then how would you describe the other one like this one?
SPEAKER_00
44:06 - 44:09
To me, it's, it's like a flower.
SPEAKER_01
44:09 - 44:16
It gives a little bit like power power. And so they showed people these images and they said which one is Kiki and which one is Bubba?
SPEAKER_00
44:16 - 44:20
And almost everybody's saying, yeah, the left one is Kiki.
SPEAKER_01
44:20 - 44:22
And then Bubba.
SPEAKER_00
44:22 - 44:22
That's Bubba.
SPEAKER_01
44:23 - 44:31
Right? And so... Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00
44:52 - 44:58
He doesn't have sharp edges. There's nothing about Brad that feels sharp.
SPEAKER_01
44:58 - 45:18
His jawline. Oh, this is just aesthetic, you mean? Or vibe. It depends. But I think the vibe is that he's perfect and like very chiseled and like his body and like there's not a lot to blob onto, whereas like a pedropascale, a angel garp field, like those are boobas. They're not Kiki's, like, anthropomorphism like Kiki.
SPEAKER_00
45:18 - 45:44
No, I agree. He's not Kiki, but he's not, but I don't think Brad Pitt is a Kiki. I think George Clooney is a Kiki, but I'm taking vibe into account, not just aesthetics. Wow, this is fascinating. If people have not been able to follow, they need to look Kiki and Bubba. Bubba Kiki. I mean, we can post, oh, yeah, we should. And is wrote it? Booba?
SPEAKER_01
45:44 - 45:47
For sure. What? Goldenrich River can also be a booba.
SPEAKER_00
45:47 - 45:51
Yeah, to me, booba is like Goldenrich River, like bloppy energy.
SPEAKER_01
45:51 - 46:32
You know what it is? It really helps me put into words something that I've never been able to put into words, which is my ideal kind of guy is a booba because it's like I want him to have the kiki spikes, but I want to be able to like hold on to something. Like, you know how I've described one person this way. I was like, he's great and he's handsome and he's nice and funny, but there's nothing for me to like hold on to. Like there's no ridges. That's what Buba feels like to me. That there's like, there's a sensitivity or there's again, a little bit of fat. There's something that doesn't make them perfect in a way to me. Like a Buba is like a less conventional, but more interesting kind of guy. Okay. Wow.
SPEAKER_00
46:32 - 47:25
There's a lot to do with this. And I really wanted to talk about Aaron Juan burritos, but we'll say that till next time. All right. Let's do a couple of questions. This is such a good question. What direction do you face in the shower? This is for Riley. My friends and I have had this debate for a long time and after the Do you pee in the pool question? I think your response in dialogue about this question would be so fun and interesting, which direction do you stand in the shower while showering? Are you an ass to the water or tits towards the water person? They're friends and I have found that most times men are the front facers, whereas women are typically ass to the water. This is just in general, of course, hopefully everyone is facing multiple ways in the shower to make sure you're clean, but overall, what way are you facing, love the pot and I look forward to listening every week, thanks ladies. This is a great question. I never thought about this in my life.
SPEAKER_01
47:25 - 47:30
Me too. It's so good. Wow. Okay. You know, right? It's immediate.
SPEAKER_00
47:30 - 47:42
I think it's immediate. Ask to water. Ask to water. Yeah. Like she said, you, I do turn around, but for the majority and the, like, standard when I first hop in
SPEAKER_01
47:43 - 48:49
Actually when I first hop in I was gonna say when I first hop in it's tits forward because I want to get my face exactly Do you watch your face first? This is so interesting because to me if I'm doing a lot of tits forward I'm going through it like it's your everything shower. No, I think emotionally I'm going through it Oh, there's something wrong with like, or like, I'm going to shower, but I'm a little bit like, oh, where's if I'm asked first, like, we're doing this. It's efficient. We're getting it done. Whereas the moments where I, I'm tits first is when I'm like, maybe reflective or like the water on my face feels good, but I like maybe I'm seeing in for a little too long because I'm not just in and out. Sure. It makes sense that men are nipples forward, or they have to, too, I guess, right? Sure. Some of them. They go forward because for us, the main point of the shower, or like a big part of the shower, if you're doing it, everything shower is your hair. Exactly. Your hair is taking time and like you're doing shampoo, you're doing conditioner, maybe you're doing a third thing. And so the hair is the focus. And so it wouldn't make sense to be forward.
SPEAKER_00
48:49 - 49:22
I agree. That's why so if I'm not watching my hair though, it's still ass to water, but I think maybe that's because it's muscle memory, but I agree with you. If I'm like trying to decompress or something, I will do tits forward for extra long before I turn around. You know what? This is fascinating. It's like women. are just efficient. It's like we gotta like get in and get out. We don't have time to just stand and indulge. And it's like there's no time. We don't make time for ourselves.
SPEAKER_01
49:22 - 49:25
It's that there's so much to do. Maybe I'm shaving.
SPEAKER_00
49:25 - 49:34
Well, that's the other thing. Shaving you have to do as to water because you can't have the water pouring on your legs as you're shaving. That's right. What order do you go in?
SPEAKER_01
49:34 - 49:57
What's your shower order? Such a good question. If I'm washing my hair, that's what I'm starting with. Because I feel like some of my body is going to get cleaned through the process of just like all of this stuff coming out. Okay, no, in my hair. In a shame, who kind of going down my body? I want that part sorted before I move on to my body and then get everything figured out there and then I'll shave last.
SPEAKER_00
49:58 - 50:01
But what about face? When does face enter the picture?
SPEAKER_01
50:01 - 50:35
This is controversial. But I was told by a random woman in Montreal. She was like based on your face. You should not be washing your face in the morning. She was like, you should only wash your face once. And it's at night. And I will say I think for some people that is because it strips your skin off again, depending on your skin, but it strips a lot of stuff off of your skin that you need. And so I will wash my face in the shower if it's at night, but otherwise I don't wash. I'll put water on it, but I'm not gonna like wash it. That's very interesting.
SPEAKER_00
50:35 - 50:39
Is this the same woman who told you to put gorilla glue on your eyebrows?
SPEAKER_01
50:41 - 50:50
That was a different woman. And I have not done it because you have scared me with it. So I feel like the only way I can do it is we do it together.
SPEAKER_00
50:50 - 51:00
That's not how life works Liz. If you want to do something, you can't wait for me to do it. Especially when I said, I'm definitely never doing that. But if you want to try it, you have to try it.
SPEAKER_01
51:00 - 52:04
We should explain to people, okay, tell this means. So I met a woman who is a single listener. We love her lover. And she had the best eyebrows I've ever seen in my life. And so I said, what do you do for your eyebrows? And she looked at me straight in the face. And she said, go really glue. I was like, what? And she said, gorilla glue. Also, it's not her. It came second hand. She went to Sephora. This amazing gay guy at Sephora was working there. And she asked him about brow gels. And he was like, honestly, I do gorilla glue. And like, I highly recommend. Like, yeah, you can spend $40 on a brow gel. But gorilla glue will do a better job. And it'll stay for a few days. And so she did it. And her brows were amazing. So I naturally got girl the glue and then I told you about it, which was the bad idea. And you were like, Liz, anything that touches her eyebrows are going to like peel it off. And so now I'm just, I've been delaying it. But I want to do it. I'll do it. If you feel the inclination, I'll let you guys know I would go. Anyway, what's your order? Sorry. Oh, yeah. Okay.
SPEAKER_00
52:04 - 53:23
So I start tits to water. I wash my face first. And then I immediately turn as to water. Get my hair wet. And as I'm getting my hair wet, I. It's weird. Oh, I don't really know, but I'm obviously doing the same thing every time. I think as I'm getting my hair wet, I am washing my body. And I use a bar soap. I don't use. Whatever, it's called liquid body wash body wash. Thank you. And I use body wash. I use a bar soap and it has an exfoliant like has like little pieces in it. So I use it directly on my body. It's not like I like suds it in my hand. I'm using it to exfoliate. Then I wash my hair and it's not the most efficient because ideally I would be washing my body as the conditioner is sitting. I know I should do that, but I don't think I do that. So then I put shampoo, then I condition and then shave. But I do think if I'm shaving, I will leave the conditioner in. Like I'll shave while the conditioner is sitting. And then I'll answer for me, the washing of the hair is the very last thing. Like I want to be done with the hair washing get out, which seems like it's the opposite for you, which is interesting.
SPEAKER_01
53:23 - 53:28
I hate washing my hair. So I just want to get it over with. I think that's also the element.
SPEAKER_00
53:28 - 53:48
I don't like the feel of wet hair on me. So I want that to be the last thing so I can just get out and towel it. Got it. I had a question in it. This is fascinating. Rob, are you tits to water or but chest first the whole time?
SPEAKER_03
53:48 - 53:51
Yeah, I mean unless I'm washing my hair and need to turn around.
SPEAKER_00
53:51 - 53:59
Right, you have like thick hair. I bet some men, even if they are watching their hair, might still be tits forward.
SPEAKER_01
53:59 - 54:07
I really want to meet a guy who's asked for it. Does it correlate with other things, like pinks that are down, which also a lot of men do.
SPEAKER_00
54:07 - 54:24
It's interesting because all of our media tells us to do ass to water. If you watch any shampoo commercial ever, it's ass to water or like any like even soap commercial it is.
SPEAKER_01
54:24 - 54:34
So it's weird. But when it's women, I don't think I'm trying to think of a I know guys soap. You see more women I guess in the shower. Interesting.
SPEAKER_00
54:34 - 54:44
Do you like showering? No. I mean, I do it every day, but I don't like it. You mean, like, do I get joy out of it? No, I love a bath. I do get joy out of that.
SPEAKER_01
54:44 - 54:50
Why do you? No, washing my hair such a chore. And I wish it wasn't.
SPEAKER_00
54:50 - 54:52
How often do you wash again every day?
SPEAKER_01
54:52 - 55:10
No, no, no, no, no. Do you? No. Every couple of days, but I will procrastinate watching you. You'll push the limit as long as like, yeah, possibly right now. I definitely should have washed my hair like two days ago, but it's just so annoying. But we have long hair. I wonder if that's part of it because I feel like I didn't use to hate it as much, but maybe my hair is longer.
SPEAKER_00
55:10 - 55:37
Yeah, it's true. I had a appointment with a dermatologist. Well, a woman. I had an appointment with a woman when I was maybe going to get Kypella and then she changed my skin regimen and it messed up my face so much. So I think she's the devil and she told me also to wash my hair every day. What is like the oils from the hair get on your face and I was like, I'm not doing that.
SPEAKER_01
55:38 - 55:46
And also, that's not good for my hair. No. You're not supposed to do that. You're stripping. There's necessary things that our bodies just produce. Agreed.
SPEAKER_00
55:46 - 55:51
Okay. Well, that was a very interesting question. Okay. Wait, I have one last shower question.
SPEAKER_01
55:51 - 55:57
Okay. Do you shower in silence? Or do you put on a podcast? Or do you put on music?
SPEAKER_00
55:57 - 56:22
If I'm being efficient, I shower in silence. I shower in silence 75% of the time. Then 25% of the time, no 23% of the time, I listen to podcasts. 2% of the time I listen to music. It's really rare for me to listen to music in the shower, but also I just play it from my phone. And I can barely hear. I know.
SPEAKER_01
56:22 - 56:32
I do it every time. And then if I'm listening to a podcast, I have to re-listen. Same. I didn't hear anything, but I just hear this annoying noise that I can't make out.
SPEAKER_00
56:32 - 56:34
We must find soothing because why else are we doing it?
SPEAKER_01
56:34 - 56:56
Yeah. But I feel the same way where I'm like, why do I keep doing this? I can't hear it. But if I'm going on a date or like I'm getting ready to go out, I'll put on some fun music because it's like my getting ready music. Okay. I love that. Do you have a song? I usually have a song that I listen to 20 times a day for three weeks and then I can't listen to every again. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00
56:57 - 58:18
Okay, let's do one more. Help. Do I tell my professor that her YouTube channel has playlist of strippers and pole dancing videos? This is from Dina. Hi, Monica and Liz. I'm currently in my master's program at a private Christian University. My teacher weekly uploads videos of herself talking about lectures and assignments and all the things for each week that we need to know. This week, I decided to check out her profile because I wanted to see if there were any extra videos on her profile. So I can get ahead start on future assignments. When I went on her profile, I noticed that she has a bunch of public playlists of pole dancing videos, strippers and tease videos, and how to strip at home. She is a fairly conservative professor and I'm going to have her throughout my whole graduate program. I don't know if telling her is going to make our bond stronger or if she's going to hate me the rest of my master's program because she's embarrassed. Help. Wow. Wow. This is shocking. Oh my god. Also, I have to be honest, I love her a little bit, but also ding-ding-ding-ding religion. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. Of course, this is like a highly religious professor has stripping videos because repression Should she tell her this is tricky?
SPEAKER_01
58:18 - 58:24
I mean, are we sure that this professor doesn't know that these videos are?
SPEAKER_00
58:24 - 58:35
I mean, that would be my first. My guess is this professor does not know, especially if that's the way her students are getting to her. She probably doesn't know that some are private and some are public.
SPEAKER_01
58:35 - 58:55
But why would she post them if they're private? Is she trying to grow her following? Because then maybe this is part of growing her phone. I doubt it. Like, is she trying to be like a drone Peterson? You know, the he was posting his lectures online. I can't attribute intention, but probably to create a following which he got from the lectures.
SPEAKER_00
58:55 - 58:58
She has a bunch of public playlists of pole dancing videos.
SPEAKER_01
59:00 - 59:09
Oh, public playlist so it's not her in the okay. I think I understand she just has a playlist and it's probably okay.
SPEAKER_00
59:09 - 59:11
I probably thinks people can't see that.
SPEAKER_01
59:11 - 59:54
Yes, I think you need to tell her really I would want to know. This is kind of woman a woman looking out for another woman situation. Or that's how I view it. She could lose her job. And she's not doing anything wrong. She just clearly likes pole dancing. And she's probably like older so she doesn't realize what things, you know what I mean? Like without technology, it was like older women, mentor younger women. But I really think technology is kind of reverse that dynamic where in a lot of ways younger women can be really helpful to older women when it comes to technology and to me, this like falls into that category. I just want to let you know I know that this is confusing by default. Maybe the playlists are public, but I just noticed it and I just want to let you know that it's I would do it in a very caring way and a very like short email like two sentences.
SPEAKER_00
59:54 - 01:00:09
Maybe not email though because that could get tracked. I mean, it's not like she's like, has cocaine. Well, I mean, like, from the school, if it's a conservative Christian school, I agree that she could potentially lose her job for this, which is insane.
SPEAKER_01
01:00:09 - 01:00:27
Don't even reference what they are. Just say, like, hey, I noticed you have a lot of playlists and some of them are public and I don't know if that was on purpose. So just letting you know, you know, you can make some private. I would just make it super casual, don't even mention it, what it is, and then she'll go, oh god, because she knows what her players are.
SPEAKER_00
01:00:27 - 01:00:37
God, this is so hard, because I agree with you. I think that's the right thing to do, but I also think, honestly, and I would just take more of it.
SPEAKER_01
01:00:37 - 01:00:51
Really? To me, it's like seeing a woman with blood on her pants. Like, well, we've talked about this. It's feminism. I mean, whatever, you can do whatever you want. But to me, it would be like keeping in a sneeze like, I'd be like, I have to tell her.
SPEAKER_00
01:00:51 - 01:01:06
But she is running a tiny bit of a risk. She is that the woman will get defensive and then take it out on her. She's to be around this person for two more years. And every time she sees her, there's going to be a little bit of discomfort.
SPEAKER_01
01:01:06 - 01:01:31
If that is a risk though, then create a fake email and send her an email. Oh my god. And then you can just say it. Your pull dancing playlist is public. You might want to make it private. Then like she doesn't have to feel ashamed. Again, I would just tell her because I feel like that's the easiest thing, but if you're worried about resribution, you can just send her an anonymous note. If this was 2001, I'd be like right at down a piece of paper and like leave it on her desk.
SPEAKER_00
01:01:31 - 01:02:07
Do you think, okay, well, if she has other playlists that aren't this, it's easy to just say, like, I was looking for some extra, I was wondering if you had any extra videos because I looked on your profile and I see that you had some public playlists. So just so you know, you can make those private if you want. Not like you should. I think making it as cash as possible is good. I agree that what Liz is saying is the right thing to do, and also I'm just gonna throw out there personally, I would just not say anything. But it is weird for a student to approach a teacher about this.
SPEAKER_01
01:02:08 - 01:02:11
To me, it's like coming back to the period pants or again, any other woman.
SPEAKER_00
01:02:11 - 01:02:15
But would you tell your teacher about blood on our pants? Yes, you have to.
SPEAKER_01
01:02:15 - 01:02:51
I would tell even if it was my arch enemy. And about arch enemy is easier than teacher. To me, it's even more like, oh my god, like, I don't want you to be humiliated. And again, especially since the idea would be like, she doesn't know. And so again, that there could be men who are seeing this. I know. I think it hurts. Uh, again, that it could have repercussions on her career and to lose her job over this. I would just want a woman to woman. If we were talking about a guy, that would feel a little harder for me. That's uncomfortable. That's a little, yeah, what are the, but for me, like the woman to woman thing override all other hierarchies that exist.
SPEAKER_00
01:02:51 - 01:02:54
I get that. I think you're right. I think that's the right thing to do.
SPEAKER_01
01:02:54 - 01:02:57
You're not going to go to hell if you don't do it.
SPEAKER_00
01:02:57 - 01:03:28
Maybe take into account this professor's personality. If you do think they're going to just be so embarrassed and sort of take it out on you and some like it's just a little bit. It's you are her. But if not, if you think she would be grateful, ultimately, that you told her, then do you have to assess that if that professor's going to make her life miserable for the next two years. I don't know. Well, it's like she wouldn't, but obviously this woman has got some contradictions, stuff going on. She is mixed messages.
SPEAKER_01
01:03:28 - 01:03:50
I mean, aren't we all? If everyone could see our Google searches and our playlists or our Spotify wraps, my God, I'm so glad those things aren't public. I actually was so jealous of people who are like, can just share them. Like, I'm like, oh, great. You're securely attached and normal. Like, I'm So mentally ill and weird.
SPEAKER_00
01:03:50 - 01:04:09
Maybe that's a good resolution for you end of your resolution to post hold on though. I was going to say post your spot if I wrap, but don't now start adjusting what you listen to just so your spot if I wrap looks good. Be truthful about your listening habits and then you know what's going to happen? You'll post some people be like, I love that too.
SPEAKER_01
01:04:09 - 01:04:22
Well, it's not that I'm a, it's just, it's not post worthy. I'm not here like bragging about how much Adele I listen to or like how much of once there's some really happy years and then there's some tougher years.
SPEAKER_00
01:04:22 - 01:04:29
Oh, your word is going to like show what kind of state of mind you've been in for the years. Okay, it's like two vulnerable.
SPEAKER_01
01:04:29 - 01:04:49
And also like I think that should or like, and it's like super very interesting. Yeah, you shared it's like really interesting artists and I'm like, I'm just so basic to care about what it looks like is so I don't judge myself when I'm listening to it. It's just the idea that I could post it. I think it's more that film. Like, oh, I'm not here.
SPEAKER_00
01:04:49 - 01:04:50
I think that should be a challenge.
SPEAKER_01
01:04:50 - 01:04:57
Well, I could be the spot if I wrapped. I want to see in the world. I could think about adding more variety to. No. No.
SPEAKER_00
01:04:57 - 01:05:14
No. No. No. No. No. You're literally doing the opposite of what I'm saying. Okay. God be you. Do you? How you normally live and then At the end of the year, the challenge is to feel okay showing who you are for real and not who you think the presentation should be.
SPEAKER_01
01:05:14 - 01:05:28
Okay, I will share my spot if I wrap this year. No matter what, it's already too late to reverse course. I mean, I guess I could, but we're already deep into the year. I wish they did a halfway. Me too. That'd be kind of fun. We should bring back half anniversary or like I'm 37 and a half.
SPEAKER_00
01:05:28 - 01:05:37
We kind of did with our gift guide. It's true. proud of us. Yeah. Well, okay. This was great. I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip.
SPEAKER_01
01:05:37 - 01:05:40
Thank you. I came here to see you again.
SPEAKER_00
01:05:40 - 01:05:52
And then, yeah, back in the attic. Next week. Thank you so much for submitting and please continue to submit. These are all amazing questions, pretty usual. Really good questions today. And we'll see you next week. Bye.