Transcript for Maria Georgas: I Made Out with My Boyfriend’s Mistress [VIDEO]

I'm so excited to be here. I love you. So, okay. I love you. I love you.

Yes. So I definitely needed the time to just be on my own. But if I was going to speak, I was going to speak here with you today on Color Daddy. And I, it was a long time coming, but I'm here now and I'm ready.

Before you continue, this is really tight. And I want to slip into something a little bit more comfortable. Okay.

She's got her little unwell outfit on. Oh, I'm feeling so myself right now. You have no idea. Wait, really? Oh my god. This is me to my core.

Oh my god. It was so last minute. You guys have no idea. So I always wanted to be on the show. I had dreams about it. I was like, I'm gonna be on the show one day. So I remember, I would always buy things in hopes. Stop. I swear to God, I'm not even kidding. And so when I actually got like, I was like, fully in the running, they're like, okay, you're like in it. Um, but I was never getting a solid. Yes. I was like, waiting, waiting, waiting. Three days prior. They're like, pack your bags. You're coming. You need this. This isn't this. I'm like, holy shit. I had three days to pack.

I love the show. Okay. I love the show. I was such a huge fan and um, I had friends on the show and they did. Yeah. I don't know how much I want to say. I feel like there's been, you know, people have talked about it, and I'm sure people know who, but yeah, I've had people that have been on the show that I've always said that I see you on it, and yeah, and so I was like, I'm in a fly.

I wouldn't say romantic, but obviously there was like, I don't know what you want to call whatever you want to call it was just like a good thing going and yeah and I just remember talking to him about it and he was like I can totally see you know what he said to me actually should I be asking you like who you're talking about no you shouldn't Well, I mean, I think it's been fairly obvious. And honestly, I'm so over the rumors and stuff like that. So Nick, obviously, oh fuck, but this is bad because he's like totally married.

Yeah. Nothing has ever happened between Nick and I, but like it's always been like a friendship. Okay.

Literally that is all. Like he helped me through breakups. Like he was a good friend to me at points. And it was great. But I remember and I never really understood it until actually being on the show. He had said to me he's like, I can see you being the villain. He's like, you're going to go on. You're going to be the villain. And I was like, why? Why me? Like, I would never go with the intention of becoming a villain. I didn't go in there trying to piss people off. But I remember him saying, he's like, people are going to come after you. No matter what, I can just see it. You're going to be the villain. And I was just funny because after I finished filming, there was rumors about me being a villain. I'm like, but I wasn't I know what happened?

Yeah, and I just want everyone to know that like there's no animosity between us. Like I think we have always been friends obviously whatever. Yeah. But yeah, he's always been great to me and like I respect his relationship. I respect where he is it is now. I'm happy to see him grow. But yeah, to say that we didn't have a pass, that would be a lie. So like I just hate this like it's been all over Reddit. I'm just want people to know that like it's nothing serious, but also we respect each other along the way and I'm happy where he's at now. I congratulate him.

Oh, basically. Exactly.

Right. And I have nothing to hide. Like, I go through life where I feel like I have, you want to ask me questions. I want to answer. I can tell. No, no. Really? Can you tell? Yeah. So I'm like, you know what? Like at the end of the day, I'm like, I rather speak on it than people build or create stories out of nothing. There's nothing to talk about there. Amazing.

Oh my god. First of all, thank you for saying that. Like that meant a lot because I was actually talking this talking about this with my friends. Like when I had first come back home, I had to sit my family down to let them know like what kind of like shit stupidity I went through in the house. I did not know how it was gonna like play out and like how people were gonna perceive me because in the house I felt like I was so wrongfully accused of things and people were just like taking me the wrong way. And so I didn't know how things were going to play out. The fact that it was an honest edit, I can say, and like showed exactly who I am. And I said to myself, I'm like, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, like exactly who I am. I'm not going on there with some alter ego. Like, no, no, no, I'm going to, when my friends and family are going to watch, they're going to be like, that's my Maria.

The, and I talked about this on the show to Joey. I was like the last thing I thought I was gonna have problems with Brother Girls. I thought I was gonna be like the, I thought the only problem I would have is if I like, we're not. Or if we can really see each other like becoming something, right? And so when that was my biggest concern in the house, I was like, oh my God, I, I maybe that guy was right, maybe it's like, in, in weight, okay, you wanna hear something? I actually have something to say. Yes. This is actually kind of fucked up. So Sydney, you know Sydney? No. So in the house. Oh, the one that was the next year. Okay. So funny enough that no, the actually side, no, I don't know if you want to keep this in, but this is actually kind of like concerned me at one point. So when it first sort of like airing, I remember someone sent me a photo of Nick and Sydney together. They were all friends because Sydney's friends with Ashley, I and Nick's close with Ashley and Ashley's close with Sydney and they were all in a photo together. I'm like, was this? No, I'm not kidding besides all this right now. I'm like straight shooter T right now. Part of me was like was this all planned because I was like I did I knew I was innocent like I knew I was innocent hand to God. So when this all started happening and then imagine dealing with that in the house and then coming out and seeing that she's friends with Nick I was like

Okay, keep the shit in because you know what? I'm not kidding. I was, this is my exact thought process. I was like, there's something weird about all this because it was too close. It was too close to home. I was like this, what was said, and now this, and this, because if there was a, if guys, if there was a moment in the house where I can say, Okay, I deserve that. I would say I would not even begin to think about this, but I was so innocent.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. So there's a point in time where we see Medina. She was one of the older girls. I don't even like say older. Here we go. The age thing. But she had mentioned that she felt insecure about her age and that she was losing time and she thought, you know, it was Joey maybe might have not been giving her enough attention because of her age. Um, and I say it's silent during that conversation. She kind of like addressed the room about it. And then, why don't I say, and man, I don't know. Um, so then we were outside and kind of we have breaks, you know, throughout the day, but we're always being recorded and I knew that. So, Despite having a break I know like we're being recorded, but again, I was in the moment with my friend and we were kind of like Going through what was like said or during that moment. We were kind of just like what's the word re which is like recapping what we're copying. Thank you very much that moment and all I said to her was like I don't get why Medina would say that because like I'm in her age group and I'm just saying like she's she's a beautiful woman like literally so beautiful where I was like, I couldn't even fathom the idea that she was thinking that it had something to do with her age. Why Joey's not giving her attention. I'm like, you're so beautiful. Own it. Like, you have so much going for you. You have the ages of last thing you should worry about. But I wasn't saying that to Medina. I was saying that to my friend as we were recapping the night. And that's why I was like, I want to preface by saying like, if Medina had come to me and said to me, Maria, I feel insecure by age. I know you're like one of the older girls in the house too. Like this is how I feel. I would never say, oh, Nate, you're hot. Like I would be like, no, let's talk about it. This is how you feel. I'm here for you. You know, so obviously I was saying what I was saying to my friend behind closed doors and I was being overheard by Sydney. And instead of a coming up to me to be like, hey, are you talking about Medina because she's my girl instead of like either coming up to me or talking to me one on one to be like, hey, I might have heard this, but I don't know if she started this entire thing on something she might have heard.

Absolutely. And like everything you said was absolutely right. And for me, I'm like, I can get insecure about my age two hundred percent and I have felt insecure about it but going into the bachelor knowing that there's that you know some of them say cast twenty three year olds and stuff like that I knew going into it where I was like I probably am going to be the oldest one in the house so I was trying to think positively so that like I didn't get into that mindset so I thought in ways, like, I was trying, in ways when I was talking to my friend about it, I was trying to encourage myself too, because, like, hearing her talk about that, you don't think that struck a chord with me? I was like, fuck, maybe like, like, does I am a year older than them? Maybe that is weird. I don't know. I started like thinking, I was like, no, no, no, we're gonna twist it. No, we're hot, we're confident, let's do this, got it. And I was just having a talk with my girlfriend. I didn't think it was gonna become a thing. I wasn't trying to do this in front of a room, like, I would have been way more sensitive, way more like,

turn this into a positive right now because it's so you know in the house you're so isolated and you I can see why she was feeling those things but I kind of wanted to like because imagine if I just sat there and I was like yeah we are we should just like piece out right now as old folks like let's just get the fuck But I was trying to just like, again, if she had come to me personally, the conversation would have been deaf. Yeah. It was just in the moment with my friend. I was just like, yeah.

Yeah. She's literally saying you're like the devil. Oh yeah, it's funny. I brought devil ears because I knew we were going to be filming during Halloween and I wore the devil ears like her weak straight. They cut that out. So maybe you don't talk about that. Well, like I loved it. I was like, because they told me they were like, yeah, you know, she sees you as a devil. And in parts, I was like, wait, but what, like, I was questioning myself.

Yeah. So I, because now getting to know her outside of this, she's an amazing woman. And I honestly can say that In that moment, she really truly thought she was going to bat for her friend. And like, again, it's so weird to say, like, these girls become our best friends, but when you're in that environment, you become very close to people and that's how it feels, right? So I truly think that She was feeling she was going about for her friend. She was that rider-dive friend. She wasn't gonna let anything slide. With the best intentions, just wrongly guided. I don't really know why because guys, when I tell you, you know, she had apologized to me there and then when we, I was like, listen, you overheard something. You took it out of context. It wasn't meant maliciously. Next time, you know, come to me. She's like, absolutely, we cheersed. The next day we had that group date where we were doing the talent show. And she hugged me before the group date. And she was like, Ria, I just want to say again, I'm sorry for taking something out of context. It wasn't shown. We never even got to talk about this. And so I thought I was like, wow, okay, you know what? And I said to her that day, I go, listen, I'm good to hug you hug it out and like we're good, but just you scare me a little bit because we were so good up until the point where you're starting shit with me where I'm like, where is this coming from? So we hugged it out, we were good. Later on that night is when she was like, I feel bullied by you. You hugged me earlier that day. It was like, guys, when I say it was crazy, it was crazy. But again, because I know she is a good person deep down, I think that again, in this environment, it just brought out the worst.

Yeah, it got to points where she would acknowledge that like I can't even be in a room with Maria because I feel she's going to attack me and there's been so many scenes of us in a room and I'm like leave me alone. What? So like, I didn't understand. And to this day, like, you know, her and I didn't get to really talk about what exactly it was that made her say those things about me because I could like even thinking about putting myself in her head. I could never say that about someone that I knew that it was so untrue.

Well, I just want to say something first. So before going into the house, I had read something. And it was like, some book, and it was called, you're just not that, there's, what if I say it was like, you're not that great or something like that. And then just like, no, no, but wait a group. No, no, but you know what? The meaning behind it meant something to me. And it was just like acknowledging the fact that you're not that great and like I never know wait just wait I don't ever think of myself as like like when you say like like it's weird to me even believing when someone's like oh so much jealous of you like I don't look at things like that like I went into this bachelor world being like I'm not gonna be the prettiest girl in the room I'm not gonna be the best dress I'm not gonna be the most like exciting to look at or be with like I just said I'm gonna be myself and if it works it works like I was so self-aware going into it. So it's funny that people see it as confidence and people see it as like oh girls or jealous of you. It's like I genuinely went in there being like I'm gonna be supportive everyone around but I'm not also not gonna think I'm that great.

I'm not. But like just acknowledging that like, you know, like just knowing who you are, like, I'm not, I'm not overly confident in that way where I'm like, I'm the shit. I've never thought that way about myself. I thought all the women were especially night one going into that house. I was like, there are so many beautiful women around me that I was like, I'm just gonna be myself, have fun. And then if it works, it works. And it did. And like, So when girls came after me and being like, oh, she, like, people are seeing it as like, oh, you were so confident. That's why. I'm like, oh, my God. I was like, I never once, I think I was the prettiest in the room. Never once, and I think I was the best dress. That's why after an aired and hearing that like everyone loved my outfits and like everyone thought it was to come.

I've obviously, okay, I had a couple of boyfriends. I'm going to say two. I'm gonna tell you exactly the number. Yeah, I don't have that much experience. I always like when I'm with someone, I feel loving feelings, but like to like when you're out of it, you kind of think back and you're like, wait, was I even in love? I don't know. I don't think so. Because I want to believe when I am, I know it's gonna be my person kind of thing. I had loving feelings for everyone that I've ever been with. Yep.

Okay. Trust me. That's what I'm thinking.

I don't bet you're gonna call me right out. Literally my first boyfriend was like eight months. But I'd love for them for three, so I felt like a fucking century. But um... What? Okay, maybe no. I don't know. Keep listening. I have never had anything long term. I'm on it. I'm a problem.

Okay. Hold on. Okay. Let me think it was so long, guys. It was like 70 years ago. We dated and hit it off right away. Okay. And he was living alone. I was living with my family. And he's like, I want to be with you all the time. So come sleep at my house. And then it turned into me and it ended up moving, like ending up moving in with him. So make sense. And then how did you move out? Um, he cheated on me. Wait. And you.

No. No. Cheating happens towards the end, honey. Okay, okay.

It was just because you cheered on me.

Hold on, wait. Let me let me backtrack eight months together. We're months together living with him. Okay, so not I didn't live it in right away. You're right. Okay. You caught me. I know.

I'm a Virgo. You know what Virgo's are like? No, tell me more. I'm an FBI agent. Oh, like without being an FBI agent. So basically, so because I was living with him, right? Um, at the time. Anyways, so he was in New York with his family. I'll never forget this. This is actually kind of fucked up. Okay. What's okay? You know what? Him and I. We laugh about this because he found he's like I hope you know I know I knew what you did the entire time we talked about it listen It's better to just laugh it off now, but it wasn't a laughing moment at the time. But we can laugh it enough. Anyway, so he was in New York with his dad and then he was like, yeah, I was all staying at his place. Stupid. Anyways, so I'm with I have all my friends over and I remember I was in LA and then Vegas for a wedding. I did like a week trip and he was so, oh my god, Nick plays into this because he hated Nick and Nick hated him. Fuck that guy though, no, because he cheated on me. But it's fine. So, okay, let me get back on track. Hold on. Okay, so I, so I had gone on that trip and he was already questioning me being on that trip being like, you're going there to see him, blah, blah, blah. I'm like bitch, I'm going to a fucking wedding. Like what is your issue and we're spending a couple more nights in LA after? After Vegas. I lied. We went to Vegas first and then we did the wedding in LA. Okay, there it is. Come on, seven years. I haven't talked about this shit. It's great. And so he was already upset with the whole trip. I get back. We're good. He goes to New York. I stayed at his place and I invite my friends over. I had this weird feeling because the last couple nights in LA He was kind of like, quiet. Like, wasn't really speaking to me. I'm like, bitch, you're my boyfriend. Where the fuck? Anyways, no, no, not like that. I'm very sweet. But I guess I'm saying, when a boyfriend is quiet, you know what that, you're checking in on me and then all of a sudden you're quiet for the next couple of days. What's going on? What the hell's going on? So I remember me like, okay, so I kept that in my notes. I was like, okay, so this time this time he was kind of weird. Sketch. So I get to his place. I'm saying he leaves. I go to the front desk. And this is actually kind of smart. Girls pay attention. So I go to the front desk and I'm like, oh my god, I left for my trip, but I, as I was waiting for my Uber or whatever I was waiting for, I don't know what I said. I'm like, I left my purse on the couch. So right outside of his place, there was like a communal area. And there was a couch. And I was like, I left my purse there and I can't find my purse. I'm like, I need you to, like, I was sitting here between this time and this time. And I told him the times where I felt like he was being off. So he's the poor front desk man and by the way, man, I never outed you even though when you knew I knew what he knew what I was doing and I'm all explained, but I never outed him ever to my axe, but now I'm outing you, but it's okay, you're probably not even working there anyway. Um, so, so I, I told him I'm like, from this time this time, I remember I was sitting there, but I don't know where this person went and it's like expensive purse. I need to know where it is. So he turns the, the fucking screen to me and he's going through the time that I, and I told him he's so, he's a little, it's fine. I told him between, I think I said from 11 p.m. till 3 a.m. I'm like, I don't know if you have the check to see if my purse was there and if someone took it. So he's showing me, okay, and I had my girlfriend there. I'll never forget, she fucking screwed it up. I was like, game-face. I was like, show me the fucking cameras. So I was looking for my purse, all of a sudden. Guys, I could, I could do not. 320, I remember the time. It was like something, 3am, 320. I don't want to say that I remember the time. It's kind of weird. But it's fine. A fucking bitch shows up to his door. No. 3 something, am. And then I'm going like this, this is me. I'm like this. I keep my mouth shut, my friend goes, and then he's, so now the friend desk guy sees that there's another girl I ate, me showing up at this time, and then as soon as she fucking gasped, like, outing me, he turns the camera and he's like, I can't be doing this, I'm sorry, I was like, I was like, I was like, no, no, no, don't worry, and he, in that moment knew that he knew that what I was trying to do, and he knew that now he outed my boyfriend for having Girl Show up at his place at 3am while I was gone. But in that moment, I went, no, no fucking way. And so it gets first. So I kept my mouth shut. You didn't say anything. No, of course I am. No. Poor front desk man. No, I never out of him until the end of the day. I'm so sorry sir. But does day never out of him never out of him. I go back in. You know, actually it's kind of fun. I went for a walk. I played some music. I pretend I was like in a music video like sad cried. I don't know. I don't know what I did. I did something like weird shit. But then I went back and then so days later he comes back. We're good. He throws a party, okay? Okay. Guys listen and then it gets fucked. So Heathrow is a party. Oh my god. Poor guy. He's probably like in it. Watch this and be like, listen. At the end, don't cheat on your girlfriend because one day she's going to live to tell a tale. She's going to live to tell the fucking tale. So don't cheat on your girlfriend. Anyways, so Heathrow is a party. Family friends. And remember, I saw that bitch. I saw her. Oh, you're going to wait for the twist at the end. So I saw her. So I knew how she liked. He throws a party fans family and friends at his restaurant. He's so in a restaurant. Oops, cut that out because I'll be very obvious. Okay, let's be real. I only had one fucking X and everyone knows. It's fine, but cut it out, maybe. I don't know. Keep it in, don't ever know. So he throws a party, family and friends. There's a separate table of like randoms. I don't know who shows up. She does, but I keep my mouth shut. I see him go over to her hugger kiss her. I say, go perfect. That's my end. So he comes back on like who's that girl that you kiss on the cheek? Like who's that? So go always she's just a friend like did it. I was just saying hi. I'm like Okay, that was a little, like, a little much to say hi to a friend, right? So I'm watching her watching her. So later on, then I was like, fuck, and I'm done. I'm done. I'm so out. Like, the fact that he's now bringing this girl around to me.

You saw the video footage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It wasn't long. I just didn't know how I was going to, like, do it. But I was out at the point.

Oh my god, excuse, flowing. Oh shit. So basically, because when he was showing me the cameras, I saw a bunch of guys go in first, all his friends. And then she showed up like hours later at like three. I'm, but they were like, I didn't see the friends. Leave shows in my head. I was like, okay, maybe this might not be what I think it is. And like, he's the way you think I'm seeing Nick and now. So there was so many things where I was like, Okay, I can't overthink because if you're looking at it just based on like what you like how it looks. I want to know proof, but anyway, but cut that out. No, make him look bad. It's fine.

Right. Yeah. Okay. his pee pee pee pee pee in it for a company yeah 100% anyways so i saw her there and again i didn't say anything whatever and then we got back to the house and i'm like who's that girl and he he just could be like she was at the front she's a friend i'm like so then why and i i laid all out there i was like why did she show up at your house at this time this day that it uh in a red dress that i was like saying it all on heat to this day to this day. We'll say nothing ever happened for one of your some funny shit. Please because I was a Virgo, right? Yep. We're very thorough. So I needed get to the nitty gritty. I need to know. I was never going to get my answer from him, you know? So I, okay. So I dance, okay? I take heel classes and I do all that. So I met a girlfriend there and she was going out one night and she texted me. She'll come meet me. I go who you are with. She sends me a photo. She's with that girl. No. So I go perfect. Oh, just wait. Something like perfect. I'm gonna meet this girl. But again, I wasn't gonna go meet her with the intentions to be confrontational. No, I was just going to see who this girl is. I want to meet you. I want to look you dead on the eyes. You know me. I don't know you. You don't know that. I know you, but I know you. Anyways, we hit it off. Love her. love her sweetest fucking girl ever so nice yeah she was great and did she know you were dating him well I mean you have an Instagram it was very fairly obvious like there was no excuse us on her end but at the end of the day I'll never blame the girl ever he owed something to me

You know what I mean? Oh, to this day, I am not upset with her. Oh, actually, I'm great friends of there.

Yep, yep. Okay, so we're not dancing. So we're friends. We become friends at night and then to the point where we're like, we're like, hey, now, and we're us through hanging. To point where I even can, this is actually something called it.

Okay, so I won, they were all out and I was a little drunk and I'm like, I need to see if this girl's a good kisser. Only because I was like, I wanna see. I was like, no, I want to know what the fuck she has that I don't. That's like this all happened. So I made out with her one night. But to this day, like, we were totally, it was all a joke, so I wrote a little up. It's fine. I love women. I love men more. But it's fine. It's fine. I just did it for my own sanity. Again, Burgos were fucked. You wanted to understand what you were missing. Right. I want to know what he was dealing with. If I had anything like, I don't know. I don't know what the hell. I just did it because I need to do it. She knows all this now. Okay, okay. So then so then so we became friends with really good friends like we're all good, whatever, and one night she calls me. Okay, guys listen to this and mind you. I had broken up with him. I said when I said to him he denied it. He is no now that I'm like having a friendship with this girl. Okay. She calls me she's like, I need to see you. I'm like, yeah, come over. She comes over. She starts to cry. She's like, I have to be honest about something. She's like, Maria, I love you. You're such a good person. I just, I feel like I need to be honest about something. I go, let me stop you right there. I knew this entire time. It was like a whole, like this could be a movie. This could be a movie. And I could be the whole episode. Oh my god. I know, right? I just long, long story. I just basically said to her, I'm like, listen, like, I met you with intention to see who you were as a person. I loved you that night. You were so fun, so sweet. Like, at the end of the day, I didn't hold anything against you because my ex, he was supposed to respect me and like, not do that shit to me.

That became, okay, here's the thing. Okay. I think we were, it's like the semantics of it. It's like, yes, have men met my dad and like my, like my parents. Yes. Okay. I expect my parents. But have I ever brought them into my home? where my, like, my family met, like, no, yeah. But like, have they met my parents and the people that matter? Yeah, sure, did I introduce my brothers? No, like, like the entire family know, but my parents, yes, and like my friends, absolutely always. But like the idea of just like, it was just, just, yeah, I didn't bring them home, huh? But it doesn't mean that they weren't, like, acquainted with my parents and the people that matter to me. It just like, it was the idea of just like, It's the first guy that I'm going to introduce to everyone all at once.

greatest friends like we were so um like funny together where we like like the same movies like how the same banter but and we obviously like to like we liked each other but I don't I you know what I don't know I don't know I think him and Kelsey makes such a good match because He was always one to always kind of need reassurance. Does that mean to say it's not mean to say because that's what he was very vocal about on the season. And I think that like Kelsey's the kind of woman that gives it to him, but also is very confident and gets it to from him. I don't know. They work so perfectly together. I don't know how to explain it, but I've never seen two people so into each other, it just worked. I don't know if I could have given him what exactly what he wanted all the time. And so, I don't know, but I think that we were great friends.

dance oh shit I don't you know here's a thing I don't mind you know you know ever seen those guys who like start breaking out into dance but they're so bad but they think they're so good when are they breaking out into dance like give me that's a problem they do wait like where bitch anywhere there's a fucking tune I don't know Here's the thing, here's the thing, but here's the thing, this is where the difference lies. When they're dancing, go being silly and just only that they're bad, but there's some that are so bad, but they think they're good. That's where I get the egg. The full egg. That's where I'm like, oh my God, put on. You're not it.

Date 32 am in at the same time. Sorry.

I was like, yeah, this happened more than once in my life. No, just the bachelor.

Okay, so here's the thing. And I'm going to be very, very honest with you. In that moment, you should always say, whatever comes to your brain, sweetie. I'm on a roll tonight. I'm going to be honest about something. I know tonight, whatever to do. Some of you are honest about something. So Jen and I, so Jen kissed him on the group date. I went up to her because I just like, you know when you're very self-aware, like, you know your place and things. And I just knew Joey and I were never going to be endgame. Yes, could I have made it further? Sure. 100% like we had that connection. I just didn't think I was going to be endgame and he was going to be endgame for me. And so I told Jen that day that I was going to use that as an excuse to leave Joey.

So there's a scene where Jen kisses Joey and that's where I'm like Chen kiss Joey. I am disgusted Um, but I, you know, I was very close to her and I just felt like I needed a way out. And it wasn't, it had nothing to do with enjoy is great. Like Joey is actually such a catch and that's why I'm so happy. Like I think finding happiness was like knowing that he's happy with someone that loves him so much. I'm so happy for him. I just knew it was never going to be me. And so I was like, I need a way out. And so I use Jen. kissing him, and that moment that pissed me off as Nick's excuse to leave.

Then you see in the next day and you're like, oh, but he's so cute and like, and then there's all so many fights for you to stay, you're kind of like, okay, shit, maybe I'm like misguided. I am, I need to be in this. And that's kind of how I felt during home towns. I was like, he fought for me. So hard, whether they showed the entirety of that and that's fair. But in that moment, he did fight for me to stay. And so when I came to home towns, I'm like, okay, I'm dropping my walls. I'm giving this my all, but like, That moment in Jasper when I was trying to leave, it was, it was a little bit of a, I was just trying to give him a way out.

and then we get to hometowns and then that was kind of because I was like I don't want to say I was like forcibly but I mean you want to believe someone's actions and like how hard he fought for me that night where I was like okay you know what I need to get my head in the game like I do feel good great things about him I think he's great and I am in it But I didn't know where he was at, and there was like, there was some sort of disconnect, but when he fought for me so hard, I was like, okay, this is something that could be real and real, like, stop fucking this up. And so at home towns where I fully dropped my walls, and then I got sent home. And I was like, okay, okay, this is why I protect myself. Yeah, so I'm like, and that's what I've kind of learned like I've become accustomed to like being disappointed by men and this has nothing to do with Joey. I don't when I talk like this, it has nothing to do with Joey because he was just doing his part in the show and like he had more stronger feelings for other women and that's fine. But I just feel like when I turn to like protecting myself, where I'm like almost self sabotaging, I feel like it's like self protection.

more like they come on strong in the beginning and like they're like all in and I push them away and then when I get to the point where they're like I can't you know you keep pushing me away I'm actually gonna go and then when they actually go I'm like wait I didn't mean that I was just joking get your eyes over here and they're like I don't know if I can like they don't believe me anymore and I but then in the end like I said I something happens where I'm like, there's a reason why I was pushing them away in the beginning, because they do something where I'm like, they weren't even, I don't know if I even believe them to begin with, but there's been times where like, they come on strong. It's like we're never at the same time.

I believe that it's going to happen at the same time where I'm not going to do that.

Oh, I had an epiphany recently. I'm not joking. Like I'm like a whole different person when now. Like when I'm going to open up to someone and like I feel it initially and that that initial attraction to me is so hard to come by. Like I don't just have it for anyone, but when I do, I'm not playing those games. Like I've learned now the hard way. And so for me, I'm so open to just letting myself be happy for the first time where I realize that this is what I'm saying. Yeah, so that's what I'm saying. Like, you know, she just happened in the past, but I grow from it every day.

And he definitely doesn't mean to your ego. You're like, oh, my God. I know. It's so hard. I'm like, holy shit. Like you love coming. Yeah, but it's not, it's not good.

It's a very immature, you know, like I I'm done with that song and dance like I'm really over it and so I think it needed to happen for the last time for me to be like, okay, wake your shit up because you are capable of so much and like I know what I bring to the table and like what I can offer someone. So doing that kind of game is just it's not cutting it anymore. And I don't even want to do that anymore because it hurts me to hurt someone else.

I know. I know I have to let them know. I know 100% and like being on the bachelor, it showed my friends and family that I am a lot more emotional than they've ever seen me. That was the probably the hardest thing watching it back was having my friends and family see how much I cried. Because I don't cry. That's just not my thing. I'm not that girl. And so they couldn't even believe it. They're like, holy shit. But it was a lot more than just crying over a guy. It was like, I was being, I felt like I was at war at times where I was just so many things accumulated into one. I was like, okay, I'm so drained. But I did. It opened me up. It allowed me to know that it's okay to be vulnerable. and to let my feelings out and it's better sooner than later because a guy that likes you and wants something with you should know how you feel because that's the only way your guys are going to move forward and I totally get it now.

Obviously I have been trying my hardest to say silent about this but I think that moving forward and if I'm going to be in this world like I have to be honest especially with the people who have supported me and the answer is yes yeah I was offered the role I mean It was mine until I said it wasn't. And yeah, it became very overwhelming to the point where I had to decline. So thank you for sharing.

Yeah. Well, I, to the point where I was doing fittings, like it was set in stone. I was in it. Yeah. Again, like, You know, bringing up Jen and all of this like I, you know, she was one of my closest girls in the house and she was always verbalizing how badly she wanted this and when everyone around me was so supportive of me being in this position and everyone wanted this for me. I kind of took a second. I'm like, why am I not happy? Why am I not excited about this? And it took me like realizing that it's just not my time where I was like, guys, I respectfully, I need to decline. I need to take a step back. I was not in the right right head space for this, especially knowing that like because I know the extensive process it was to be on the show, right? So having a bunch of guys do the exact same thing and they're there for me. I didn't want to waste anyone's time. And honestly, like, yeah, it was it was hard for me to kind of jump right back into it, honestly.

Yeah, no. The one thing about having such a great production behind you and like my producers were so supportive of me and like just being open and honest of where I was mentally and how I felt about everything, you know? everyone was so excited and I know what this season could have been like and it would have been great. I just was not ready and you know coming back home I just when I say that I just wanted to come back home back to reality and just take time off from all of this like I meant it and I think people saw that and recognize that I was imposing as much and like I was not speaking on things because as much as like I wanted my time off but I also wanted Jen to have her moment and like she is the most perfect bachelor in my eyes it like I couldn't think of anyone better to do this and she was so ready for it and that was enough for me to kind of say yeah this is it's not my time It was, it was a hard time because everyone, again, everyone was so wanting this for me. But I, yeah, I just, I just needed to be home with my family and friends and take that time off to be honest.

Yeah, I mean, a part of me, obviously, was so grateful. And like, like, when people even come up to me and ask for a photo or talk to me and like, love me off, I'm like, I'm an all of you. Like, I don't deserve this. I'm just so appreciative of it. And like, that was one thing that kind of kept me going in this process because I was like, I want to do this for them. You know, like, I want to do this for the people that love and support me. But in my time, like, that's not doing it for the right reasons.

Well, okay, like what people saw on their screens was only the half of what I kind of went through in the house. Like, yes, did I have time off before it aired? Yes, but again, everything was so like, I was so anxious throughout the whole thing. And I get it. It would have been my own show. It would have been me kind of having like more control over things. But again, like, It's so isolating being in there and I would have to give up my phone again my free it like not my freedom, but you know like having to be alone in that and I don't I just wasn't I wasn't comfortable. I wasn't just mentally prepared for it.

That's right. And Jen though is the perfect pick.

100% like that never interests me interested me to begin with going on the show and I wasn't ready to milk my 15 minutes like I when I like I remember well's he's he was like I don't know he did the bartending on Yeah, so he went out on a podcast and he was saying that I had all these expectations that I had all these, um, I don't know, whatever. Like requirements and asks. Yes. And that one was I wanted my phone the entire time and I wanted my friend to be a producer. And it's like, like, I wanted so badly to shut that shit down. But again, I just didn't think it was my time in my place. But like, and he was like, oh, everyone's gonna forget about her and Daisy. Like, like, this is the, this is gonna be their biggest regret. forget about me. Like I am so at the end of the day, I have to do what's best for me. And if that's what it's like, it was so disheartening to hear someone who knows this process, knows what they put us through, not what they put us through, but like knows like how like intense it is. You have to be fully committed, like knows like how mentally draining and like physically draining this could be to like say something like that's like literally shut the fuck up like you don't know me you don't know me and like I'm a very respectful person so that that went so against my character and I want so badly to speak up on that because it's so not true like everyone knows you get your phone taken away and that's it right

That's what I'm saying. But here's the thing, you know, it's kind of like contradicting for you to say, I'm going to be forgotten because I'm not back to right, but then word you stand, you were never bachelor. Right. So are you forgotten? Well, I don't know you, so you're forgotten in my head, but like, no, that's kind of mean. Don't say that. I'm sorry. Well, it's come make me a drink. At kind of the day I'm just saying like I would never say that about someone else. I support whatever anyone else wants to do if they if they're at the end of the day what I wanted people to understand why I took my break was like they would say okay you know it was fairly obvious everyone wanted me as bachelor at obviously I was gonna be asked I think that was obvious. So if I didn't do it, there had to be a reason and had to be because of me. And because I had to take us up back. So for him to say, because of this and the other thing, like, wells, wells. That's what I gotta say. I just didn't like it. I was like, I just talked to me and you know what asked me and I would tell you, you know, this is not, but like, I'm not, I just don't disrespect, especially the team that was there for me who was who were leaving their families for me to like be there by my side. I respect them so freaking much and that it broke my heart because I knew how badly everyone again everyone wanted it.

in different ways like we have other things that we would like to do and if it means me going back to reality going back to my day to day what does that have to do with you and don't don't talk negative about it like that it's okay this this this I understand I was on a reality show but It was real life to me, too. If I wanted to go back home and just go back to me, I'm able to do that and I wanted to do it and I did it.

What is going on in your dating life? Are you single? I'm so single. Okay. I'm so single.

You know, I just want to meet someone organically. Is that the word? Yeah. Like old school. You know, I just want someone to like come up to me while I'm grocery shopping or out of books or even though I don't read. I'll just be there one day. Like I just want to meet someone the way like I don't know back in the day. No social media. I know my DMs are open. Tell me nothing.

No, I swear. Who's in there? Who's in there? Who's in there? Who's in there? Do you want to look at my DMs? Give her my phone.

Who?

Come on. Like, just Bachelor Nation. Oh, give us one. Come on. No, by the the the goal to Bachelor at what?

No, no, no, no, they go to my shreds. Like people who support me a bit. What man? It has always been. No, none. I bitch. Can you hook me up? No. I think he does. If you're watching this, I saw you at Coachella and I did not like that. But I'm open. Wait, the guy that played Dhammer? Yeah. He don't say that. He was in so many other fucking things. Sorry. You're gonna let people know that I'm interested in fucking Dhammer. Not Dhammer. Are you actually a kinky shit like that in the back? No, no, no, no, no. But I like horror, right? So he's like a horror icon of our generation. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, for not getting into my DMs.

No, I'm gonna.

I could be, guys. I'm flexible. Take note.

I could be. Hey, why not? Wait, do you want to live on that shit?

No, no, just your flexibility. Just my fact of, yes, yeah, I can throw my leg behind my head. You guys hear that? Deems are open. I'm joke. I don't want fucking deems. I really don't. Guys, I'm not kidding. Who should you answer in your deems, except for Dommar? Who else? Not Dommar, man. Evan Peters. Sorry. I'm Peter. Sorry. Oh my god. Okay. Um, who would I? I don't know, someone who's sweet, kind, ready for relationship, no games. I don't know. Who do you think I should answer?

I don't like a guy. I used to think I wanted a guy with like a big, big, big personality.

I'm rising Leo. Yeah, there we go. What are you rising with?

You excited. Wait, so, so what's your boyfriend? He's a puppy.

It works perfectly. It does fire and fire.

Like he's a man. I want a man, but who lets me have your fucking head.

And like when you're in a room, he's like go to your thing base because they know at the end of the day, you're going to make them feel like the biggest man in that fucking room. Yes. Yes. Okay, we're going to play a game. Okay.

So I'm like, I'm not showing that hard. Okay, I'm okay with being alone.

I pay the bill and leave. Make it yellow. Take his balls and come right off. Take your money and go impress some other rich.

No, never absolutely never and you know what the rich people know I'm gonna say that I know all the rich people But just they know they don't flaunt it that way and the people that do don't actually have it. I like a guy who's modest modest modest.

Like who are you trying to impress?

I have no interest in hearing it, so 100%. Okay.

Oh, no. Yeah. I don't play games like that when I see the text I answer. No, Maria. Hold on. No, I'm not kidding. No. Answer that text fast or else. No, I'm being serious. Do not wait on it. Hold on.

Okay. Okay. Why? Why not? He's that eager. I mean, he's there. I mean, that to me shows you're not playing games. Like if you, here's the thing. But he doesn't have a job. Like, okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

Where we at in the relationship. Like a couple months. So we're dating. Yeah. And the works was it? Oh, I don't know.

Oh, no. I think exclusive with you because I have fun sexting.

If, because usually the guys that I talked to aren't from Toronto and so it's long-distance, so sexting is what keeps us close.

Oh, I mean, that's all you have of. Okay, so you don't mind a little sex. Yeah, but not all the time at all.

I didn't have the fuck as this year. I wouldn't even notice if you throw it out. I wouldn't be like the fuck. That's it. No, honestly, I would be like, well, first of all, why don't you have a place and why aren't I leaving mine at yours?

I'd be like I don't know, I've never happened, but I like you know when it does.

He traveled, that's a turnoff. He travels with a toothbrush, because his veneers, no, no. He's wrong, like it's not. No, I, I, that's a, no.

I don't think I would think too much. I mean, there would need to be a conversation. I can't imagine a guy just like slipping it in there. But I think if he did slip it in there without a conversation, I would be like, what the fuck?

There was another one?

No sexer on the go. Like, what are you like a fucking girl on the go? The fucker on the go?

Yeah, I agree. Oh my god, you want to hear sorry? Yeah. So I'll see you in this guy. And I went to his house and he had his and her sink and he had moved out and he moved to this new place. I'll never fucking forget this. So he had his and her sink and then I walked into the bathroom and there's his sink. It's all his shit. And then there's a random toothbrush in the her sink. So, go, what the fuck is that? He's like, oh, it's mine. I used, I swear to God, this is what it's used. I almost want to puke. He's like, oh, no, it's mine. I used to separate toothbrushes. One that's a little bit of hard bristles, bristles for the fuck. And one that's softer. I go, Like, I don't know, do I look like I'm stupid? Okay, don't answer that. But I don't fuck with him right now. He went to the extent of grabbing the toothbrush and using it to prove to me that he does use it. And I went, you just did the most in your embarrassing. So, goodbye.

Right. Both are awful. Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side? Why was it on that side?

You know what? I like this. I like to do this thing where I call it honesty hour. It's actually a hidden thing that I get every guy with it to be honest girls. Take notes. So I like to hang out with guys casually. Very casual. Let them know. We're like, we're friends. We're going to like see where this goes kind of thing. Let's have a bottom line and let's ask each other anything. and let's not judge each other on this. So usually as I'll say, if your X can describe you in any way, how would it be? Because I like to know, I want to see how they're going to a talk about their X. If it's going to be in a nice way, but also I want to know what they would think that they're X would say about them. So just kind of opening that up and letting them know that it's a comfortable setting to talk about that. But if they're opening up about their X randomly without me asking, I'd be like, girl, girl girl. No, but I'd be like listen, I think you need a center of tax and say you're sorry because you're still hung up on it. I'm not interested. Yeah. Time for me to go. But, um, I don't know. I wouldn't want to know. Okay. I honestly, I'm kind of loving it. Yeah.

Oh my god, because they don't want to know, but I like that though. I mean, I get bored so much that they don't want to know. I don't know. I know, there's, you're right. It's like, like, make you jealous. Yeah. I want to know. And then they don't ask. I I can see why they wouldn't want to know because I in my mind this way of my thought process would be is that they like me so much that they they can imagine me with anyone else I believe that and actually no not it's not right but then there's also the the other guy who would be like no show me everything I wanted he's like weirdly like obsessive and like yeah once like take ownership of you and wants to know like I I like the guy who would be like you know I don't even want to see no

Oh, fuck. I don't like this turning on me. I think they would say that I'm honest, that I'm loyal, and I can be a little nuts at times. I love the honest. What a shocker, right? Right. I don't think so.

I would love to be seen more often. You know what I'm not kidding you when I say this like I'm taking it step-by-step like this like you I want to be on this podcast this was my first step and now what I'm gonna do moving forward. I don't know. Yeah, I really don't know and so to give an answer, but I'm sure people will see more of me.

What's kind of cool? I know. And every time I say sprinkles, they're like sprinklers. I'm like, no, no, guys, the shapes and sugars you see on baked goods. But people don't get it, but someone has to do it. Do you like sprinkles? I, you know, my dad owned a chocolate factory before the sprinkles. And I was in a big chocolate year. I know. I'm not like a dessert girl. I'm not like he did like chocolate cover almonds, everything. And so, um, but as for sprinkles, yeah, I mean, do I usually put sprinkles on things? Yes, I'm gonna say yes because I own a sprinkles company. But, um, Listen, we, everyone, you need it. We need it. We need it. We need it. We need it. And so I've got to do it, so. So you're going to stage for Pa?

Who are you going to stage coach with? The sisters from my show. I call it girls. Love. They are the best.

Well, they are like my sisters now. Who are you going with? What are the names? Lauren and Allison, Hollandier. Okay. And Sal. Do you love country music? I, I, I, um, I like country music, but am I the biggest fan? No.

I love nickel-back bitch. I knew it. Bitch, I cannot wait to snuggle back. No, I really love nickel-back and I don't get why they have such a bad rep because I don't know. It makes me, it's like me. What do I have such a bad rep? I don't get it either. I, I nickel-back I'm with you, but I'm not after this episode.

I was trying. I had so much fun with you today.

I do and yeah, there's so many more that I actually. Yeah, I'm okay. What? No, no, no, no. We'll save it.

I have an idea. Oh. Well, I'm interested in hearing that.

Pleasure's all mine. Love you. I love you.