Transcript for #117 - Eddie Bravo

You're a gentle with the sound today.

Whoa. Okay. I think everybody thinks differently when it comes to money. I think you're a lot like me, and that you would rather not think about it at all. I don't want to think about it. I don't want to think about it as much as you can.

Yeah, or, you know, Amazon's actually hooking you up and giving you a way to make, what is the reason for coupons? I mean, is it just to see what happens when they offer people less money for things?

Yeah, what's the benefit in that for them?

That makes sense that it's sort of like an advertising move. But I've always thought it was probably to see, like, maybe our shit's too expensive. Maybe we can actually make more money if we sold more of them at a lesser price.

Probably there's some economics major right now. Poles fucking hair out now. You don't know what you're talking about.

Yeah. Yeah, I've never been one to, I like, whenever I go to like, like, Ralph's or something like that and they always say, you know, Ralph's our local supermarket. Do you want to do you want to have a Ralph's card? I might, you know, fucking card. I don't want another card.

It's a different mindset. Eddie and I have this, it's a modified store mindset. You get a lot of shit done, but you and I are both the same way in that. If you don't have to think about something, I'm not going to think about it.

I'm not going to physically feel the difference.

It helps you you need to like save money.

Well, how about I could just didn't smoke fucking cigarettes cancer boy. Yeah, just throw those fucking things away. You'd have a lot of extra money. Yeah. That's a terrible fucking drug man. You know, that is the number one thing. When everyone, anyone never talks anything about politicians caring. I just say, why the fuck don't they ever talk about cigarettes? When was the last time you heard Obama talk about everyone should quit smoking, getting on TV, talking about the fucking 100,000 people? Sure, but doesn't he try to quit or hasn't he tried to quit?

I really like cigars and cigars are, you know, essentially it's just pure nicotine that you're smoking, you know? This is probably the same buzz that you get off of a cigarette and one way or another.

I'm a temporary drunk. Yeah, well, what you have is You have the ability to control your impulses. And even though your impulses might be crazy, you have ability to put them in check. Whereas a lot of people when they start drinking and black out and become another person, those people, they can't just not do it again the next day. The next day comes around, they have a couple of drinks and they can't step aside. You can stop it to drinks.

Oh, yeah, man. We were out, okay. We were hammered. I didn't buy it. 2005. I did the improv and Phoenix and Tempe rather. We had a great old time. Went out, got our party on, got our drink on. We were hammered and we were at a pizza place. And it's two o'clock in the fucking morning. And Eddie Bravo was on the Atkins diet. But he's black out drunk. Black out drunk and he still won't eat his crusts.

I apologize if we got his name is a wrestler and he would put pictures of his shit online because it was so ridiculous. He would go to McDonald's and get a quarter pounder and then he would go to crispy cream and he would cut a donut and have and he put the cheeseburger in between the donut. He was just fucking off some food.

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Would you grow in your hair out then?

The crazy thing is how much you train. You train a lot, but you would eat so bad that you would gain weight. You would just go off burritos and you would just go off. Yeah.

Well, as long as you just maintain, you know, it's when you let yourself go and then you gotta get fucking skinny again. That's what happens with dudes, it happens with girls, it happens with everybody. That's the hardest thing is getting back in shape, you know, it's not staying in shape, staying in shape is not that bad. You get some momentum, you keep it going.

It's like when we were talking about with all the area around the improv, everywhere you go in those side streets, it's all residential only parking. And like you're literally not even allowed to park there. They're just, they're just saying, so I even know this is the street. There's no room for regular people. You have to live here to park the fucking car here because we fucked up and we put too many people in one spot. Yeah, man. You can't park that's ridiculous, man. That's the worst thing in the world about when you do sets in Hollywood. I used to park my car in the improv. I used to let the Valleys park it. But they let some fucking check. She was, she was drunk, man. And she fucked up my car. She just, she was pulling out of a spot. And you know, it was a really tight little area. And she just turned her wheel and hit the gas and just jacked my fucking car. And she didn't have no insurance. And I'm like, why am I letting these people park my car? You're obviously not looking after my shit.

He was really mad at me. He wasn't really mad at you. He kept like putting it in neutral in my highway and then dropping it down

He's never seen someone so like breaking down the effect the car has on girls his knee just

We had to go to get an MRI Yeah, really the doctor gave me an MRI immediately.

I've had a bunch of different knee injuries, but the most painful one is ironically the one that healed the quickest. That's the minus case one. Once they did the minus case surgery, it was like six weeks later. I was on the mat again, but when I had my ACL torn, both times it's not that painful, not nearly as painful. The meniscus is what's really painful. The ACL just kind of snaps and it's fucked and it hurts a little bit and then you can't you're legs wobbling like what the fuck and then you go to a doctor and they go you don't have a ligament anymore. You have to get an artificial ligament put in place and it takes six months before you totally heal up. But the pain is nothing. It's like it's not that big of deal. The pain of the meniscus tear I had what's called a bucket handle tear and it's called a bucket handle because you know how a bucket handle can like flip up And it can like stop like in the center in the center position. Well, that's what it's like. It's like the handle of a bucket like literally peels up and gets locked in place. So the sliver of meniscus is locked in its tearing and it's just excruciating fucking like soft tissue pain. It's really pain.

Do you see it's still fucked up, but it's still all alone.

I don't know if you're talking about your dad's closets. We need to have a video for this story. So I never finished the video. So you, did you break a ligament?

Wow. The body is so goddamn fragile. I was in, um, we were in Pittsburgh and we were watching dudes on motorcycles with no helmets. They don't have a helmet on there. Just watching them drive around like, God, you silly fuck. Like your body's so fragile. You don't even know. If you knew what could happen to your head, if you hit the ground, would you be rolling the world those dice? Would you really be willing to just get on a bike with a bunch of people and trust them not to slam into you? Trust them not to smash your fucking head off the concrete. Really? You didn't just trust them?

It always goes to that with you. It always goes to the press and chicks. Dude, we're in that NSX. We're driving around, I'm a fucking pain. Eddie's driving and dropping it down a fourth gear on the highway and she doesn't know what the fuck he's doing, right? And a lot while he's looking around he's like damn check show looking at me man Because I'm looking at me. They never look at me in my fucking Bronco I was looking at me look at that bitch right there. She's looking at me man. She's just gonna war right now explore explore.

How does it sound? Do it. I forget. That's a lot.

It's not weird though.

I wonder if it is. Some things are, right? Some movies public domain. Like books are public domain. Yeah, yeah. How many years is it?

Really? So no one owns them, literally.

I had a friend of mine from my old Taekwondo days. My friend Larry Jones. Larry Jones was a fiend for Chinese kung fu movies. And he would always go and he would like come to the gym the next day. He would like every week it would be some new fucking kung fu movie that he just saw and loved and he would get together with a bunch of his friends from the gym and they would all go watch his kung fu move. They get excited and watch these cuz there was like real fighters and they were going to watch the shitty kung fu movies and I tried to watch him. I never got it. I tried man. I sat down with him. I tried to watch him. That's the problem.

That was Bruce Lee. He's more than one, right? How many times do you realize we're there?

Yes.

He probably got laid. He was like, Dan Cortez.

But that's another movie. So they replay that scene again, the exact same point.

I need to see that again too.

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It's still Bruce Lee. The end is strong.

I wonder if that one dude is that he still goes around. You remember that scene? Do you remember? Game of Dad. He looks like Bruce Lee is not Bruce Lee.

Bruce Lee. Well, we need a documentary on the guy who did that flip.

So it wasn't just some wild comma cars type shit.

When I met Chuck Norris, it was one of the few times in my life where I was genuinely freaked out. Like, I'm shaking his hand, I'm going to meet him, and he knows who I am. He's talking to me. And I'm like, holy shit, this is Chuck Norris. Like, this is really Chuck Norris. And the thing I thought about was that movie with him and Bruce Lee. I'm like, this motherfucker fought Bruce Lee in a movie. You know what I'm saying? I mean, that is a crazy scene, too. He's like the badass karate guy. and Bruce Lee and him go at it. Holy shit, that was a good scene.

Yeah, it was just a base. I used to like Chuck Norris because Chuck Norris was down with Bruce Lee, because by association. Yeah. Like even though Chuck Norris wasn't as dynamic as Bruce Lee, he was still on a Bruce Lee movie. You know, and there was some cool shit about him because he was American and he wore cowboy boots and a fucking cowboy hat and he jacked guys up. sort of like a karate but American style, you know. I thought he was I. It was all right. Low-move the quade having David Carradine come on son. You remember Billy Jack?

I don't know for his roundhouse. You remember he would tell the guy I'm gonna put this foot upside your head and there's another thing you can do about it. I remember thinking that it's time. Wow, that is fucking a white guy talking shit. No, he wasn't really white. He was an American Indian.

No funny. Billy Jackley, there was always these hippie bitches that were around him, bothering him all the time. You know, he would take care of the hippies. And he was like half Indian or something, wasn't he? I don't fucking know him.

Drama shows. Yeah, what the fuck was that about? It's like, you know, it's like, you know, it's like sort of we're talking about night writer a fucking, you know, a show about a car, right? At least that car talked Yeah, this back then was just like, no, that's just a bad ass helicopter member was Roy Shrider Shrider is in blue thunder.

Yeah, well, Steven movie about a giant helicopter crazy What the fuck, man? It's amazing when you go back just a couple of decades and look at the shit that people were willing to tolerate. People were so stupid. You know, if you want evolution, man, you need to look no further than human television. Look, look at TV shows for like the 50s. Go try to watch like Andy Rooney. I was watching a clip online. It was from the Andy Griffith show and it was Jack Nicholson. Jack Nicholson was playing a bad guy. and Ron Howard was in it when he was a little boy. Yeah, when he was open, before he was open, pre-op, pre-op. Well, he was, he was, he was open on happy days. Yes. Before, what was he on the other show? On the Andy Griffith Show.

He's a little boy. And Jack Nicholson is there. And it's like, it's, it's fucking fun. And it's so stupid. It's, it's just so obviously dumb. You know, it's like, if you had it on today, you would just start throwing shit at the TV. What the fuck kind of acting is? What the fuck kind of shows us? Who wrote this stupid thing? But back then that shit flew. That was that was an attainment.

You're right, most things suck, but there's a few that fucking that really stand out still like the hustler. You ever watched the hustler with Jackie Gleeson and Paul Newman?

Yeah, with who the fuck played Bert? The guy from shit, I forget, but a very famous actor as well. And it's just fucking incredible, hyperlory, you know, that woman she played. A chicken movie. It's a fucking great story. It's a good, well-acted movie. And it's from like 1963. Like, there's a few who's afraid of Virginia Woolf. That's Elizabeth Taylor. Back when she was hot as fuck. Elizabeth Taylor was hot as fuck back then. And who's afraid of Virginia Woolf is a badass fucking movie that completely holds the test of time. If you watch that movie today, you're like, well, that was a good goddamn movie. And it's like from 1960 or something like that. There's a few movies from back then when they really nailed it. They really got it right.

And Johnny Dangerously was um What the fuck is his name? Joe Piscopo. Yeah, Joe Piscopo. Yeah, and we'll see the other guy. The guy was Batman, the first Batman. Michael Keaton. Michael Keaton.

George C Scott was the other guy who was in the hospital. It's a fucking great movie. And that's 1961, man. It's not even 63. 61. They were idiots back then. Damn they were stupid. Really mad. I mean, it's a good movie, but even though it's a good movie, you could still tell how goofy people were back then.

That's what I was gonna say. If you, yeah, you can't say that because of Bush. The real problem with dumb politicians is there's a lot of fucking dumb people out there, man.

Richard Carter. Yeah, you know, that fucking guy.

Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon. Richard Nixon. Yeah, he was a piece of shit. He was a terrible person. Yeah. He was like, he was one of those guys that got away with shit back in the time where you could get away with anything. You know, the days before they killed Kennedy, You know, till, you know, to Nixon's era and, you know, you go deep in the Reagan. People were getting away with all kinds of crazy shit that you can never get away with now. You know, then they got away with a lot of dirty fucking politics back then, too. What Nixon did was totally standard stuff. What he got impeached for at Watergate was something they all did, man. We've been doing that to the Russians forever. You know, I have a buddy, I guess we shouldn't say his name. who used to work for the U.S. Embassy in Russia. And he would find all these, it was like standard. They would find all these audio detection devices all over the place, or audio recording devices. With the Russians were listening into them. They found these Russians, things that they made were so complicated. that they operated on the swaying of the building, that that's what powered them. The swaying of the building back and forth actually charged them up and powered them. Wow. So they had no external source of power. They were like, this was so complicated. He's like, when they found that stuff, he was like, we didn't even know this shit existed. So this has been standard. People have been spying on people and listening into people. Let's just what they do. Every fucking politician, every president did it. You don't think Kennedy did it. Everybody likes to look at Kennedy like he's a rosy, beautiful figure from our liberal past. But Kennedy's family was all fucking moonshine runners. They made all their money selling illegal booze. And there was all sorts of people that were just like the Tea Party people were. Today trying to get rid of Obama going crazy about the Democratic-elected president. a Democrat president rather they were doing the same thing for Kennedy they were wanted for trees and they'd make posters with Kennedy's face on it nobody likes to think about that ship because it happened so long ago and what about the fact that he was out of all the presidents that have ever existed he's the one who had the worst reputation as far as womanizing oh yeah dude if they found out what he was doing today he was probably just straight Clinton and bitches You know, more than Clinton. You think he was? I don't, I shouldn't say Clinton. And because what Clinton, Clinton move is Clinton moves, you get to grow a line just whip your cock out. And then they scream and fucking run away from you and freak out and you go to jail. That's a Clinton move. He's the only president that probably rocked it that way.

The underground was a firm believer in the underground cities.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I've seen underground bunkers and bases and shit like that, but you're a believer in that shit. You want to go there after shit goes down?

Dude, the moment the moment the first atomic bomb blows or the first asteroid hits, I want to be under that thing. I want to be at the epicenter wherever that bomb goes off. I want to be at the part where all they find of you is a shadow. That's what I want to be. I want to be right there.

That's not down with some mad Mac shit.

No. No, look. I'm going to follow my human instincts and keep on keeping on. But if I had to choose between living a life of fucking cancer, radiation, and zombies, or getting hit in the head where I meet here, I'll take it and hit in the head by a media.

It's funny how many fucking shows and movies and things. There's people that believe they're real.

Well, yeah, the reason why is because we know about so many parasitic animals in the animal kingdom that changed the host. And turn the host into something that it's not. We know of, there's a aquatic worm we've talked about before. Take a drink if you're playing the podcast. We've talked about before. Rig programs a grasshopper's brain, this aquatic worm, it infects the grasshopper, reprograms its brain, and then convinces the grasshopper to drown, to convince it to jump in the water and drown so they can be born. and it busts out of this thing's body cavity. It makes it commit suicide. So we know that there's all sorts of parasites that change the host and get the host to do their bidding. And we also know about rabies. We know that, you know, dogs get rabies. That's a rap son. They're dead. That's like, you got to kill that dog. They're not even curing. You can't cure a dog from rabies. You got to kill that fucking thing. And if you get rabies, you could die, too. So rabies will turn a dog into a vicious fucking animal, like your own pet. I had a dog that had distemper once, and it tried to bite me, man. A dog room, a pincher. Don't even pitch a snap at me. I was like 12 years old. I was stuck in my living room with this dog that was sick and I realized like halfway through like looking at his dog size. There's something wrong here. I'm like this thing is really gonna get me. This is my dog. My dog's gonna kill me. I really really thought I was gonna kill me.

Those people are retarded. That's not gonna happen. That's not a zombie like that. But what could happen is, you know, look, there's only people that are getting their heads chopped off and frozen. You know about all that cryogenics? You know about all that shit? Yes. I've heard about that. Well, there's people that are getting their whole bodies frozen as well. Like Walt Disney did apparently. They freeze your whole body and so that the one day they can bring you back. I believe in it. Regenerate your body tissue. I believe it. Well, that might be when zombies happen. Yes. Maybe your soul's long gone and all of a sudden you just got this this tissue with no consciousness that needs food all the time and eats anything in front of it. And just grab a person and just start eating you if you don't feed it.

It's like the hangout and flash bro. Do you not listen to the movie?

Maybe maybe there would be the first generation of people that came back with a memory of the afterlife.

Right. Yeah, but Kenny died like a hundred times. Yeah. I mean, that's ridiculous.

Uh-huh. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, every week you just came back and no one said a word about it.

The real possibility is the possibility that was expressed in that 28 days later that someone comes out with some fucking genetically altered super virus. that attacks the human body and literally turns human to some fucking freaky, crazed monster animal thing. It's hard to kill. Yeah. Those fucking movies were awesome, man. Especially when 28 weeks later was okay. That was pretty good. It was pretty good. But it was following one of the greatest horror movies of all time. You know, there was no way it could fucking really top that. That thought is very terrifying to people. The thought that one day you wake up and the whole world is fucked. And these people out there, they're on your sleep and they're coming and they have access and shit and they want to eat you. I mean that's a terrible fucking thought. The thought that people eating human flesh You know, it's been documented very recently that they think that it was done like, ritualistically for thousands and thousands of years and that people have been eating people like whether they killed them in battle or that small children, they found small children with two marks on their bodies that they're positive inside their brains, the brain cavity. that their positive was someone scooping and scraping out their brains. I'm cutting off their meeting and eating it. So people have been, yeah, people have been praying on other people for forever. Let's look man, when people are starving to death, you know, if you're living like thousands and thousands of years before written language and people are starving to death, And you're a bunch of fucking skinwear and savages. And you look over the hill and there's a bunch of other skinwear and savages. You look back at your babies that are screaming and agony because there's no food in their body. And you say, I'm just going to go kill these motherfuckers and eat them. And people did that shit. I bet they did that shit all the time.

They did eat them. I'm sure they did. Animals do it all the time. If animals do it for sure somewhere, a human before became the human being of circa 2011, for sure, someone did everything that an animal's done. Animals always eat babies. I had hamsters, man. And they got a wet tail, I think it was what it's called. It's a disease, I was a little kid. And all of a sudden our sweet mama hamster started eating her fucking babies, man. and eating them brains first. Like, just attacking the brain, my mom was like, get out of the room. I don't want you seeing this, get out of here. And I had a peek at it and see, and this fucking hamster is just holding onto her babies and just braiding. Are you kidding? Oh, dude, it was fucking deep, man. That was a real thing. Dude, it was deep. It was so hard to watch. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. This mama hamster that I always loved. You know, we had the mama and the, you know, and the baby boy. And they got together and they made babies in the baby somehow and other got this fucking disease. And the mother just killed them in front of us, killed them in eight dumb bro. It was fuck. I never looked at that picture, same way again. She was no longer my friend. You're rocking it to a different set of rules. You know, I can't really, I can't just pick you up and pet you now. I want to bash your brains on the sidewalk. You fucking creep. You baby eat and creep. You know, what the fuck man?

I know monsters. How durable hamsters. This one of the fuckers filming a video and he falls down screaming a little bitch. Just because he twisted your knee in a funny way. And his hamster, you kick it across the room and it's okay. It doesn't even need to go to the doctor.

So speaking of people and their affection for animals, I was in Pittsburgh this last weekend for the UFC and it was the same time as a furry convention. And I don't know if you're aware of this because I certainly as fuck was and I had heard of the term furry. I'd heard it like very, very abstractly. I never sat down and had a conversation with anyone about it. It was just something that I'd maybe heard on the news or maybe saw. You know, an article on the internet or something that I never paid attention. I was like, oh, there's some people that have a thing about wearing animal clothes and maybe they have sex with animal clothes. I had no idea of the depth of this hobby. Or I go, I don't know what the fuck you would call it. You know, the fascination, this thing that these people have. And this is what the fairy does. What a furry is is they want to look like a cartoon animal. Bugs bunny, I think the terms anthropomorphic, anthropomorphic, and what that means is human characteristics in an animal's body. And so they like, like, widely coyote because he stands up straight and looks like a person, you know, like, that's the shit they're into. So they dress in these costumes that make them look like animated cartoon people. that are animals, you know, like dog costumes and fox costumes.

It's the perfect way to describe them. They look like mascots. And I guess a lot of them are wearing mascot outfits. That's where they get these things from. and they all they do, the whole weekend is get together and play like their animals. They don't talk, they have their own language of like grunts and certain things that mean certain noises like they've created like a sub language, a fake language. And when they were standing at the Western hotel in Pittsburgh, they sold out every fucking room in the hotel, okay? So there's like 600 rooms in Pittsburgh and the Western. They're all furries and they requested a giant litter box in the front lobby. They requested that the West didn't put in a fucking litter box. So this is what these people do. They go and get litter boxes and they bring them up in the room. And they take shits and they're litter boxes. They don't use the toilet. And they don't wash. They like tools. If you don't wash, you stink like an animal. And that's what they're trying to do. They're trying to smell like animals. Not all of them. Some of them. They're mostly zoo. No, no, no, there's women there too. There's varying degrees of depth to how far you go into this thing.

You can't see. They're wearing this fucking crazy outfit. You know what their bodies look like, man. They don't talk. So you don't know. You just know she's wearing a girl's outfit. So you assume it's a girl. And they have sex with their outfits on. And they have the opening in their crotch. They're like, undo it, a velcro or zipper or whatever the fuck they do. Whip their shit out and just bang each other right there with their outfits on. They fuck all the time. They fuck crazy. Yeah.

You know, someone wants you to bang her in front of a bunch of other freaks that aren't showering and they're shit in the litter box. Yes. And they're wearing it.

It's like so bad. Some of them were diapers too. That's really the guy, the counter, the hotel was saying that it's a real, harsh, or excuse me, a real harsh show for the maids. The poor maids go in there after these freaks of left. These litter boxes and bowls of milk everywhere. They order bowls of milk from the hotel and they have them bring it up and like an giant bowl and they drink it out of a bowl, like a dog. Yeah.

You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny.

You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny.

You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny. You would be a bunny.

Really, you really have that much of an affection for habits?

He ain't going that's no way you know my cat spas yeah, that cat you could pet that cat for a hundred days in the row. Oh really?

It's on how they're raised if they're raised with people all the time like my cat's been with me since she was a kitten so from the time she was a little it's all like you know what's up me on pets and every day it's affection so she associates people with affection but if you you know you're around a cat and you just go to work all day and you barely pay attention that fucking cat then the cat's like yeah you can pet me and done with you I got a shit to do yeah, it's on how the cat grows up

But the problem is that you know that was on fear factor. We're trying to get people eat bunny poop. That was one of the friends rejected by the network. That's bullshit. Maybe I would say drink your own piss too. That was another one. The network rejected. Rabbit shit don't stay.

You have a room in your house dedicated to him.

If I call her, I'm just going to load like I built a tunnel for him. You, uh, you would make a great dad dude. You, uh, you don't even know the the the the love that you have for this bunny is pretty fun. It's interesting to see, but the love that you would have for a kid would really freak you the fuck out yeah fuck that bunny yeah you was animal's take a quick back seat dear every woman says that like when she has a kid you know I almost I thought I had it for a few months you know that kid he's 15 now and um I don't want to talk about it whoa they just opened up the door closed it on people did you meet him at a bar or like

So, wow, what a crazy story.

Did you ever think what would happen if you decided to just stick around with that little dude?

I mean, he used to say he was half. Yeah, you're said something else. Japanese and half else. Can we get something like that?

Did you used to do that with a lot of things? You still like tell people crazy stories and see how far you go with it?

Why are you getting into doing that? Man, do you have a hard time not doing it?

Let me tell people that they don't know. You tell you what we did. We were in Denver and I was doing stand up and Eddie and Tate and Brian and Duncan. We're all hanging out and we're walking. And we went through this little shopping area that what is it those six street malls and what it's called whatever the mall is whatever street it is anyway we're going to this downtown shopping area and we see a wig store 2005 2005 wasn't and just as a goof we decided to go in this wig store and then first of all we were high as fuck And somewhere in this wig store, we came up with the idea of having a fake band. And that you guys were all going to wear these wigs. So everyone bought wigs. Tate had this crazy Afro wig. And you had this crazy wig. And everyone decided that we were going to play a band called 10 Foot Screws. And we even announced the band like as having an after party in town. So people thought that it was like a real band. And Eddie goes on stage. I get off stage. The show's over. Eddie goes on stage with his fucking wig on and sunglasses. We have video of it still, right? Yeah, there was a whole show. Yeah, show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show show It was there were probably getting too much bandwidth.

This is an actual reality show origin of the word powerful. When you hear me say powerful, it's all because there's one dude our friend Larry.

To find that, find that and keep finding that and queue it up. Just that part of it.

It was a great show. The guy who got down on his knees.

Thank you Jesus. And you repeat. Thank you Jesus. And you said for this dick and wealth of suck.

He probably thought that you were about to try to get him to suck your dick. I keep really probably thought that. I mean, you think about it. You're some fucking wacko living in Colorado. You know, some dude who's willing to go to some green room for some vanity. He doesn't even know and never heard of before. Some vanity doesn't even exist.

You probably shouldn't talk about this, because I think what you did was illegal. Was it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure we did totally. I'm sorry. Yeah, we probably this didn't really happen. We denied it. Oh, yeah. Yeah, this is all in another dimension. We deny this. We deny this. We parallel, you know, Eddie Bravo does not see if you get sued at this moment in time. This is all fiction. Duncan was the director. Never happened. He'd never happened. This didn't take place. He can't can't be saying. I think you're probably. You just farted. No, I didn't know. I smell it too. No, I did not. I'm not. Did you fart?

Listen, this is not helping the podcast at all, not one moment. Sure, sure. Seven. It's unfoundable. Unfindable? Well, we have it somewhere, right?

Oh, that's a yes. Brian, I'll sad.

So we need to find that, man, because that was a classic.

Those things don't make me laugh anymore. Those tricking people things, like jackass type things. Not I shouldn't say jackass, like punk type things. They don't make me laugh anymore. They used to make me laugh, you know. He's like, oh, it's getting fucked over. The Jamie Kennedy experiment. I thought that show was hilarious. Guys gone nuts. Used to make me laugh. But now I don't want to watch that stuff. I don't want to watch people get lied to. I don't know what it is. I became a pussy and became a super sensitive. I don't like watching that. Yeah. I like, you know, you're taking advantage of somebody for entertainment. It's not in a change.

I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it.

You're 12 years old. This guy's 36 years old. Do you believe that? He's a 36 year old 12 year old. Yeah, I love it.

Yes, I'm not, no idea. It's about the fuckers going to be dressing up like we need to put next week. Bang in his girlfriend and ruleful strangers. She's gonna be just of like a little fox.

Oh, yeah. Listen, I would go. No doubt about it, especially if, you know, I knew for sure that the crotch and the ass of my thing was zipped up. Right. Nobody could get at me. Right. You know, I would go. I would just think they'd be crazy though, man. I think they just do they shit to each other and they just like, it could get like really uncomfortable. I think some of them are probably pretty normal. Right. But I think whenever you get an opportunity to completely pretend to be somebody else, You get to dress up at some outfit. You don't even talk. Everyone agrees to not talk. You get to see like how wacky some minds are. Some people's brains are fucking fried. You know, and you kind of put yourself at the mercy of being around those people without being able to filter them socially. You know, if we're all sitting around talking, After five, ten minutes, we all kind of figure out how weary each other's vibes coming from. You might do something that surprises us. You find out someone's a little weirder than you thought. But for the most part, you get a kind of vibe. And some people get a vibe immediately. Okay, I don't want to talk to that guy. Well, when that guy's dressed up like Wiley Coyote, you don't ever get that vibe.

Fuck yeah, I bet a lot of them look I think like that would be like a great thing for a serial killer a great thing for a serial killer would be Go and hang around with a bunch other people that are dressing up like this fucking weirdo outfit You know this weirdo animal thing and you could wear one of those weirdo animal things and just infiltrate them and then hang out with them and a way that other people are never willing to hang out with the bunny serial killer

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I would assume that most serial killers, like you were around them, you'd be tripped out by them. Like most of them, like you would get a weird vibe from them. Most of them, right? Wouldn't you assume? I mean, you think that serial killers would be able to just sneak on by them, or do you think you would get a weird vibe from them?

It's good ones all day Yeah, you're right if you have a bunch of different friends and you're on a bunch of people and if you're honest that to me I think is the big one If you're a real honest person and you're honest in the way you communicate with people, you pick up deceptive behavior very quickly because it just seems off. You have your guard down, you're relaxed, you're open. And then you see something that's like, just not quite real. Like, there's something about what you're saying that seems like bullshit.

Do you have a show? You ever go to movies when you're high? Yeah, of course. You know how when you can tell that they're back in the bad. Dude, I saw the Hulk, the Eric Banner Hulk, an Eric Banner is a great actor. Don't get me wrong. He's in that movie chopper. He's a bad motherfucker in that movie. But in the Hulk, there was some scenes where He didn't really have much to do, and it didn't seem like he was the most focused. You know, there's a few scenes where him and this check are talking, and I'm listening to the two of them talking about like, this is so not real. Like I remember in the movie theater going, this is like some of the worst acting ever. This is so fake. It seems like so you're not committed to what you're saying, you're not thinking about what you're saying, but it's because the Wii that Wii just lets you tune into it. You know, but it's that way with a conversation, too. You know, you've been high before when you feel like someone's lying to you. And it feels like even more so. It's even more shocking and weird. If you're vulnerable and you're, you know, a little high, maybe he had to touch a paranoia and then you realize that someone's lying to you like, it just feels fucking gross.

Dude, the class is called to fake dude. Dude, I got it from Amazon.com. Okay. It's guaranteed. It's legit. What are the words? Get it from Peru. It was conspiracy.

That's what big foot. Oh, no, big foot's not a bad one man. You know, there's an animal channel show right now. So finding big foot or something like that on the animal planet or animal channels.

This is no kind of an opportunity to do school that Eddie's running. This is how he starts off when they cut out whatever.

You believe in Bitcoin? Here's some weird facts. First of all, there's 250 different Native American names for Sasquatch. 250 different names for this big hairy man that lives in the woods. And the primary, the big predominant, you know, group of sightings is in the Pacific Northwest.

Well, no, they had a bunch of different languages too.

That's the Indian name, I guess. I like Henry. Well, the reason why it's interesting is because so many different names exist for it because of there's no other mythical creatures in the Native American. I don't think they have like a mythology. that has like, it may be different Indians do and some of them do and some don't. But for the most part, I don't think it's like, you know, the Greeks had all these fake gods and all these different, you know, the Griffins and all these different things that they had created. There was obviously a lot of fiction going on. I don't think there's that much fiction in the Native American folklore. So when there's all these different names for this one animal, Makes you go, hmm, maybe there was a thing like that at one point in time. And then there's so many fucking sightings of these things. And that makes you go, hmm, maybe, what the fuck would it be? You know, how could there be an ape that no one's ever heard of? Then you find out that it's not an ape that no one's ever heard of. There actually was an eight foot tall, erect giant ape called gigantic antopithecus that actually lived in Asia. and lived in Asia as recently as 100,000 years ago. And they think that this thing may have calmed down the bearing straight along with American or along with Native Americans, rather, when people first came to America. America, 10,000 years ago, half of North America was under a mile high sheet of ice. So there was a connection actually between us and Russia and Asia. and animals would come across that connection, the bearing strength. And that's how people supposedly got here. And they think that it's very possible that at one point in time, this now extinct animal that they know exists made that trip as well.

No, it's called Gigantopithecus. They have, they found this thing because they found an, and extraordinarily large tooth, and one of these Chinese markets somewhere, and it was a tooth that they knew was a primate tooth, but it was so large, they couldn't believe that it was a humans. And so they were trying to figure out what it was, early man, what the fuck it was, and then they found some other bones, and then eventually discovered that there was an actual animal called Gigantopithecus.

Ever. You don't find dead bears. Who wants their bones? If there's a small population of them, if there's a small population of them and one of them died, things that died, there's a video, a time lapse video of Africa which is obviously much more predatory than the Pacific Northwest. But in this time-lapse video of Africa, an elephant dies, and these hyenas start tearing this elephant apart, and even some lions actually scavenged a little bit. The thing's gone in three days, and 72 hours is gone. There's nothing, nothing exists. And it's a fucking elephant who's eating the bones. everything. They're all just chewing everything up. They all just take things away. The hyenas can smash bones. Hyenas, they have like some of the most powerful bites in the animal kingdom and the reason why is because they're scavengers. They smash bones and you know bite off chunks of meat from the bones. Hyenas are just ruthless They're the fucking total kinds of the animal kingdom. They're just mean, vicious, fucking horrible animals that screech and laugh. And the females are larger than the males. The reason being is because the males are so evil, they eat their babies all the time. So to keep the males reading the babies, the females have to be larger than the males. And the females have a fake dick. They have a giant faux penis. And they mount the males and dominate them with this fake dick. It's a giant like arm hanging from between their legs. It's the creepiest shit you've ever seen. There's giant female who's bigger than the male. Humps the male and dominates him. It's a matriarchal society. I want to fake dick. You've got a real one though, Brian. I want to too. If you look up giant to a pithicus though, they have skulls and stuff.

Well, you know, they don't have a full skull. But they have enough that they piece together what it would look like. They have bones and various parts of jaws. They probably don't exist anymore. They probably did exist like maybe even just a few hundred years ago and they probably died off. or there might be a few of them out there. It's really possible. The thing if you went to Spokane, you know that as you fly over that Pacific Northwest, it really occurs to you how fucking dense that shit is. There is so much forest up there. It's hard for you to wrap your head around. It's hard for you to wrap your head around. over an hour of flying through the air and still forest. And that's what it is up there. I mean, it's some dense, dense shit. So if you think that they've absolutely done a survey in an account of everything that lives in that forest, you're crazy. There's no way they have. They just kill the fucking Jaguar or a panther rather in Connecticut. They thought that there was no Panthers on the East Coast for a long time. I think the last one that believed they killed a new Hampshire and like the 1800s, you know, when the settlers first came to the East Coast, they eradicated most of the mountain lions. But they just killed one in Connecticut, 140 pounders. and they saw there was a spotting of one in uh... new york twenty miles away from that could have been the same panther because they've known to their known to travel like a hundred miles in a day sometimes so could have been the same panther that went twenty miles away but you know i don't know where this thing came from it could have been a pet could have been a pet but it also could have been something that was living in the fucking woods it's really possible they did use to exist and there's so hard to find man you know i i saw one where when i lived in colorado but It's fairly rare to see one. I've talked to people who lived in Colorado for years and never saw one. But there's plenty of people that have. But they've got a documented population of thousands of mountain lions up there. You know, it's not like they're scarce. They're just kind of crafty. They're crafty animals. And that's way more populated in the Pacific Northwest. You know, if you're living in a place like, you know, Spokane or any of those areas where they have those Sasquatch sightings. It's always like Northern California. It's always like the rainforest, man. There's some fucking sounds that these guys have recorded. And it could be hoaxes, but people who have studied these sounds like primatology, so study these sounds, they said they're primate in nature, you know, they don't know what the fuck it is, but these guys are camping out in the woods and they hear these screams and they screeches in the night. Who knows? The thing that has me curious is that there's an actual animal. And there's pictures of this thing. Look at this. This is, this is a giant antipathicus. I mean, look at it. It's got a damn big foot, man. I mean, the real animal is a big foot. It's an animal that absolutely existed. That that hoax is big stuff probably. It could be. It could be. It could be. It could be. It could very well be a hoax for sure. Or it could be. There's some big fucking ape out there. Well, if it did exist, bro, here's the thing. If that fucking thing existed, it would be in a cage right next to the gorilla at the zoo and nobody would give a fuck. It's because it's a mystery that's so intoxicating to people. We have this weird thing where we want things that are secret. We want things that we don't know yet. Oh, I don't know. Is it real? Is it real? And we want to uncover these fucking secrets. It's deep desire to do that more than to accumulate knowledge. Like people have a much much stronger desire to find secrets like ghosts, something we're tarded like that. Like with the fuckers, ghosts have never killed anybody. You know, you don't get anything from ghosts. You know, you can't record them on film. Everybody that sees them, they all sound like they're full of shit. You know, you really believe in ghosts, man. You're going to dedicate your time to ghosts. Seriously. But I was going to say is when there's all this shit out there that is real and it's Fascinating, some incredible shit that they're discovering. You know, they believe that there may be small black holes traveling through our galaxy, and that can pass right through the sun, that can go through the sun. And we won't even notice it. We would see the little blip, little blip out there, and they would just pass right through the sun. They know that there's a fucking RV side asteroid that just whizzed by our planet, just the other day. Just yesterday I think it was, I really close between us and the moon. went fucking flying by in the same orbit, the same place as satellites are. That's how close it was. It's RV sized. I mean, you know, that's pretty small as far as as far as asteroids go. But if it hit, if it hit a city or something like that.

Yeah, it's very burnt down out. Maybe depends on what it's made out of. They don't all burn out. The really scary ones are the ones that are made out of iron. You know, there's some that are made. I mean, comets when you see the trail of a comet, that's because it's mostly ice. You know, that's water. There's so much fucking water in comets that that trail is actually the the water vapor like coming off his giant fucking hunk of ice. Those are not nearly as terrifying as the ones that are all iron. You know, the ones that are all water. and all sorts of other other shit, you know, as they're getting close, a lot of it's going to go away. But you know, even when it blows up in the atmosphere, even when it erodes in the atmosphere, sometimes it still produces insane damage, man. Like there's an area of the Soviet Union that was hit by a meteor, and I think it was the turn of the century, and it's called Tom Guska. You know, that's the area and there's photos of just flattened miles and miles of trees. I mean, it just is fucked. Like they got hit by a nuclear bomb, man. And there was no actual asteroid by the time it got to Earth. It had been eaten up by the atmosphere. Those fucking things were terrifying, man.

You mean if a ghost kills a person, you would come a ghost. Can you check that ghost ask for killing you?

We're died in a movie. That's the thing about ghosts that's so scary. You can like get rid of them if you have a good priest. A good priest who loves his mother. But if you don't have that, the fuck man, you can't kill him.

You can't kill him, bro.

The thing about ghosts is that they have to trick you in a dying. You have to like get scared and fall down flights of stairs. You have to get scared and back up into an open elevator shaft. That's how ghost kill you. They can't really do shit. There's just bluffers.

There's like a bunch of other more than one dude. There's a ton of ghost shows. There's a ton of ghost shows and they're all exactly the same. It's all three stupid white people and occasionally there's a black eye with glasses and they're in a basement and they have night vision on and then they go, did you hear that? Shh, shh, shh, shh. And they cut the commercial. And then they play music and they're like, why are you playing music?

There's nothing to see here. That's the thing about a ghost. There's nothing to see here. You fucking look all day. No one's the most you have is like some weird image, you know, a whispering image. And again, it's only interesting because it's unknown. It's only interesting because people think there might be a ghost might be real into secret thing and might be real.

Yeah, a lot of people don't even know that our space program is based entirely on Nazi science.

According to ancient aliens, that is maybe the worst reference you could ever say. It's like, according to Wikipedia, you are a fucking skull and bones member. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very excited about it. No, I am mean nice. She's a nice guy. I like the guy. Because it's a show, it's an entertainment show. I mean, he talks about Atlantis, maybe being a spaceship that flew off in this guy. Maybe it's a rabbit and a giant magical carrot. And that created the end of the Atlantis. Yes, I did. It was fascinating. It's fascinating the actual facts of what the Nazis were into. And a lot of what they were into is like ancient Hindu scriptures, like the Vimanas. They studied all these, you know, Vimanas were like these flying things in ancient Hindu Scriptures that from thousands and thousands of years ago these flying ships that people have always tried to interpret like what the fuck they mean by this you know and the the Nazi scientists were fascinated by all that stuff they were very much into the cult and very much into you know the idea of ancient knowledge and you could throw that aside and say they were silly if it wasn't for the incredible technological capabilities that they had back then BMW, those were, they made engines for Nazis, man. I mean Volkswagen, that's the car for the people. You know, there was so much, they made incredible rockets. The rocketry was so far ahead of anything in the rest of the world. They were, they were the innovators when it comes to the field of rocketry and space travel.

Well, UFOs are identified.

Right, but when they say that they build something that's anti-gravity, that can't really be proven because we can't do anti-gravity today. Right. So because we can't do anti-gravity, we don't have a working model that they actually had that we could fly around in. a lot of that speculation, but we do know that they were coming up with some weird shaped aircrafts, means some photos of them with these saucer looking Nazi ships, like actual undisputable photos. But they didn't fly. Who knows?

Well, they had planes, man. I mean, they could make one of those fucking things fly with it. Which is just a jet engine. Right. You know, I don't know if it would Obviously, it wouldn't be any good. I mean, it might suck. Maybe that's what they stopped using it. There's a funny picture online of eight off Hitler with a with a alien. I think he's just interested in it. I don't even say shit on my podcast bitch. Don't you pay attention to what's happened to fucking Tracy Morgan. talking about Charlie Chaplin. There's all these weird photos of these fucking these things that the Nazis built, man. I don't know how many of these photos or hoaxes and how many of them are legit, but it's pretty fascinating, man.

How do we know that that's true? Is that an ancient aliens?

What am I looking for? The what's inside the real size building R-I-L.

You can do well. You want the idea of secret societies, but the bottom line is almost every single fucking president. It's been a part of one of those fucking things in high school or in college. That's going, bond shit is so disturbing that these people get together in college and decide to run shit based on this bond that they make when they're in college. But it completely makes sense. If you pay attention to how people operate, man, especially if you could, I mean, the best way to keep something secret. Really keep something secret is to have a bunch of people who belong to some exclusive group and they won't rat anything out. You know, it's like like a group of buddies who will talk about man-law, like, you know, you don't say shit about nothing, nothing, nothing, you know, what happens with Vegas stays in Vegas. I mean, that's this is that on a huge level. You know, skull and bones is basically what happens with Vegas stays in Vegas on the biggest level possible, raping the world, causing wars, doing all this crazy shit and doing it under this premise of where all a part of this group that agrees to be running the world in secret. What happens in Iraq stays in Iraq? And they're asking, you know, they're asking each other to join this thing. And so to join it, they make them do some really embarrassing shit. You hear different stories from suckcocks. like guys pissing their mouth or all sorts of weird shit and they get it all on film and this is how you become a member in this group and everyone has to do these things. Dress up like a diaper, let dude shit in your hair like just the most fucked up thing possible and they film it so that they always have you. But look at the fuck knows that sounds like that sounds like some shit that you're saying in your mom's basement and there's like wood paneling on the wall and you're doing bong ribs like dude and then they totally make you eat shit. Really? Yeah man, that's what cousin said. My cousin said that was real.

It was I. That was all right. Yeah, that's what I felt too. People got mad at me. We talked about it last week. I gave some spoilers away. I would see it. I would see it again. I mean, if I didn't know any better, if I didn't know the plot, I would go see it.

The Elliott too was good. They're probably going to be spectacular fuckups later in their life. Yeah. You bank on them. They're probably going to be amazing. They're probably going to be McCulley Culkin-esque. They're all going to be on Dr. Drew Show. If you watch the new episodes, Joey Diaz swears, it's the best. Oh, celebrity, reality out. Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I looked at my DVR the other day. There was a couple of them. So I was like, oh, Jesus, here we go again. I love that show. Let's see. Lindsey Lohan's dad's on it. And Amy Fisher.

Amy Fisher, the chick who got famous by shooting someone. She's on it. Like, she's a celebrity. She shot Mary Joe Butterfuko in the fucking face. And that made her celebrity. That's hilarious. What kind of a weird world are we living in, man? Where every fucking show is real housewives and teen moms and mob wives and what the fuck are we doing, man? We want to see a real show. Did something even real shit?

Most of those reality shows are bullshit. You know that is much better. Yeah, but we think it's real. Most people think it's real. You know what I think it is? I think our lives are becoming more and more complex and people are more and more stressful and they have more and more real problems and they want to be distracted with a problem that they can focus on that they have absolutely no stake in. So they could watch people with their drama and get mad at each other and crazy and screaming and this girl's fucking his wife and he's going fucking crazy and they're going bankrupt but meanwhile you personally have zero stake in it. So you can sit there and watch it and get totally caught up in it and you know and you don't your life doesn't fall apart. It's like cathartic. Yeah. Makes sense. Totally makes sense, right? Yeah. That's what I think is going down. This is, if you want real proof that there's an apocalypse coming down, it's what the fuck is on TV. That's the real proof. The real proof is mob wives. The real proof is real housewives of New Jersey. You watch these morons living their retarded life. They're non-introspective You know, no common sense, not thinking, ego, testicle, under the microscope, it can't handle it. The spotlights on them, they don't know what the fuck to do. They're acting crazy. And here they're nonsense talking. That's the sign. That's the sign that's all going down. That's the sign, Eddie Bravo.

Speak at Comic Con about podcasts. Totally. Like we're experts. We should speak. Somebody asked me to speak at the zeitgeist movement. This is zeitgeist thing, a September 11th, 2011. Is the, you want to go? There's a series of them, zeitgeist media event. They asked me to speak in it. Which I'm down, but the problem is with all of these things whenever you claim that you fucking got the answers, right? Whether it's zeitgeist or whether it's Scientology or whether it's I don't want to equate zeitgeist and Scientology, but it's too late already did. They don't have the answers, man. And everybody's saying, you know, like, if you look at, there's a, there's a website called zeitgeist debunked. And, you know, there's a bond of shit that they got wrong, man. Just straight wrong. When it comes to, even when it comes to the way they were backing up the, um, the history of of religion. They got all these these things wrong with mithra and all and it's it's been corrected on all these different websites all the things that they got incorrect about but they're so confident in these points of view that they can put these points of view out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

It wasn't even bad, but I've just, since somebody didn't own up for the last one, I felt like I should own it. I did a fart, man. Okay, man. Maybe it was Brian. Maybe it was with my cats in here somewhere. And by the way, she took a nasty shit in that litter box in the bathroom. It might be that. Oh, wow.

Well, I'm beneath a lot of lettuce lately and I've also been drinking this new thing. This this vegetable drink. It's amazing man. I got this Vitamix. You know Kevin James lost 80 fucking pounds, right? Great dude his face skinny. He looks so healthy. He's looks like vibrant. It's crazy. And he got out of the chubby at all. Well, he's still got a gut. He's so I mean look dude. He was 300 fucking pounds. He's got extra skin. You know, but he's in way better shape than awesome. It's almost since I met him. You know, I met him in 91 maybe somewhere around then. And this is about his healthy as I've ever seen him as far as like his diet and what's he what he's doing. And he got this Vitamix thing and he swears by it man. He's like he's like he read told me about this book some woman wrote this book on on you know how you're supposed to eat vegetables and that the problem is you know Your your body spends so much time digesting food and breaking food down that it causes a lot uses up a lot of energy so she has this She tells you to take this blender and you blend all your vegetables together so I blend like kale and I blend cucumbers and I blend like a pear And then some ginger and some celery, a bunch of shit together into this drink that looks like the Hulk's loads. That's what it looks like. Just this green, crazy drink. And I drink this shit. And first of all, my shit flows out of me like a river. No, nicely. Just nicely. Just slides out. Like if you were logging on a river and it was a nice strong current to the river and you unloaded a whole truckload of logs into this river to take them downhill and they just went, ah, just travel downhill. That's what it's like when I take a shit. My logs just travel downhill. Ah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She comes out nice. But you don't ever have explosive. No, no. That's probably Mexican food.

I think a lot of people have a analogy to gluten.

That's exactly what it probably is, man. It's a real common one. Apparently it's not that good for your body to be eaten bread. Apparently bread even though it fills you up, you know, bread, you know, it's great for poor people, you know, you take your wheat and you make your bread and it fills your belly and it gives you carbohydrates. Apparently your body doesn't like breaking it down, especially processed white flour. Apparently that's just just glue. You know, this is like funky glue. Like you're supposed to eat like a zikyo bread. Like a zikyo bread is really good for you. I love that shit. I have a zikyo bread with peanut butter in it. I don't even feel like I'm doing anything bad. You know, I don't feel like if I have a peanut butter in jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread, I might, how much sugar is in this man. This is all sugar, you know, but if I have like some A ZQ bread with like some natural peanut butter. I don't feel bad at all.

We need to do another desk while I trip there. This is what we're gonna do folks. We're gonna take a trip to the salt and sea. Eddie and I talked about it. As soon as Eddie showed up, I got a book here on the salt and sea and I got two documentaries sitting on my desk because being the retard that I am. whenever a subject comes up on the podcast or that I get to set hip to I get fascinated by it and the salt and sea is the thing that I've been so I'm so fascinated by it lately and apparently Eddie says that sunny bono was the guy that was trying to save the salt and sea trying to bring it back and apparently it can be brought back yeah it could be according to the documentary they which documentary is this is it any of those this one plagues and pleasures of the salt and sea plagues and pleasures of the salt and sea isn't that a John Waters documentary

You gotta see that.

Yeah, I just received it because somebody sent me a video online. They they linked it to me on Twitter and I retweeted it. Yeah, kind of over there. It was a while back. Maybe a couple weeks ago and I watched this video online about this ocean inside, I mean almost like an ocean. This huge man-made lake inside of California's coast. And I was like, what the fuck this is nuts man? And then it talks about how toxic it became because of the runoff from all these different farms and that it got saltier and saltier the point where like a lot of the animals of the fish just fucking died and These people still live there. And they say they got flutters. Yeah, they got flutters. Yeah. And that's a fucked everything. Yeah. And when you see it, man, you're like, what the fuck? It looks like like some crazy, it looks like some mad Mac shit. Like we're talking about.

Yeah. So we're going to do a desk quad photo shoot for Router.

Time does it take to drive out there. It takes about two hours. We should build a death squad studio at the salt and sea. Just do once a month salt and seashoes. If I could buy a house for $300 or $3,000, you could probably

As long as we don't leave any equipment behind, but what if we have a place we set it up, we get some couches in there and shit, get an internet connection, bring our laptops, so we don't really, you know, have to have equipment there. You bring our laptops and our mixer, set that shit up, and do like a weekly or a monthly show from the salt and sea. That's scary. Maybe it's scary.

Oh, yeah, we can't go to ghost towns. Yeah, it's like this. Oh, dude, well, you've driven from California to Vegas before you've done that, right? We did you go with me when we drove and you and me in Dimitri and we stopped off in one of those little ghost towns where they had like a fake gun fight. Do you remember that shit that we had there? It wasn't you? It was mean to me treat them. We were headed to Vegas to see the K-1. We went to K-1 with a couple times. We did a K-1 trip. Yeah. Well back then, there was no UFC in Vegas. This is how old school we're going. There was no UFC in Vegas. So Eddie and I would want to go see fights. We'd have to go see K-1 in Vegas. Scott Coker used to promote K-1 in Vegas. And it's like hardly no one there.

The ballaggio of ballroom.

Yeah, just like that. Exactly. People don't know what tough enough is. Tough enough is a local amateur show in Vegas. And we would go down there and there'd be, you know, a few hundred people and you would get to see fucking Peter Errts, Peter Errts, Faustephan Leco, you know, like high level top of the food chain K1 guys were going at it, man. There was some great fucking fights. The K-K won a Vegas was awesome. They should bring that back. I tried to talk to Dana about that. I tried to take too, man. Maybe you should fucking get involved in K-1. Bring K-1 in. I'm telling you, think about what's the most exciting aspect to the UFC. It's striking, right? You get the best strikers in the world. Look, I love watching Abu Dhabi. I love watching Marcelo Garcia and Pablo Pupovich go after it. I love watching Chakore and Hodja Gracie go after it in Abu Dhabi because they're the elite of the elite grapplers. I also like watching elite of the elite strikers, you know, in just straight up striking. There's a lot of guys. You don't get to see their full striking skills in the UFC because they're always worried about getting taken down. They're always worried about getting submitted. They're always worrying about you know, dealing with certain things so it's hard for them to relax and just get into the striking. But if you watch like that K1 Max, you ever watch that shit?

Maybe because you don't have a striking background man. Maybe that's what it is. To me, it's exciting. It's fucked. That's all I watch. When I watch fights, when I have the garage, you know, I have the setup and the garage, when I work out, all I watch is K1 Max. That's all I watch. It's hard for me. And a bottle of Harry fights. I watch that crazy motherfucker. Those fights are wild dude. All that fucking just straight stand up man when they're late kicking the shit out of each other and flying knees and to you can't watch that I want to I want to I want to like it, but it's boring as hell Wow, so weird. I want to it's gotta be because that's not your background because it's like look I like watching pool I watch professional pool. I got hours of pool on my laptop I got like maybe 10, 15 hours of pool matches on my laptop at any given time. So if I'm ever in an airport by myself, oh, I'll watch Mickey Eminent play F and Reyes, and I'll sit there and watch a pool match that I already know that the result. We got it. You got to be.

Was that not the craziest end of a fight you have ever seen ever? Does the greatest comeback in the history of combat sports?

Yes, exactly. Yeah, they'll climb in a guy's garden.

Yeah, yeah.

Did you ever see Diego Corralis in Castillo? No. You never saw that fight? It was the boxing equivalent to that. Jose Luis Castillo and Diego Corralos. Diego Corralos was fucked up. He was getting dropped and battered to look like the fight was almost stopped. He connects and Corralos goes out. It was just like that. I mean almost except there was knockdowns and they counted. The excitement level of this was higher because there was no counting. You know, it was like the fight was almost over at any second and literally Dan Mergliano got on top of them was gonna touch them and stop the fight. Like he had his hands over them to stop the fight. But then check Congo went for a single and he changed his mind. Like a brilliant decision. A lot of people said, oh, they should have stopped their fight. The fuck they should have stopped that fight. Look who won. He won by knockout. There's no way you should have stopped his fight. He still wanted to fight. He still could fight. He still could win and he did win. So there's no way they should have stopped that fight early. It was the absolute perfect stoppage. Look, there's no you had to stop the fight once Pat Barry was out because Pat Barry was unconscious.

I agree with you. I don't like seeing a guy getting blasted when he's already hurt because I know what it does to them. I know the physiological effect. Did you see? Hey, pull this up, man. Pull this up. Roy Jones Jr. Can't say spectacular. You're going to listen to this man. This is traveling all over the internet. This is a really uncomfortable thing. I saw it on my headphones. Yeah, you'll see it. You're here at a new headphones. You don't have to see it because it's just Roy Jones doing commentary and he can't say the word spectacular. You know, he just got knocked the fuck out by a Russian guy. Yeah, a Russian guy battered him in the 12th round.

Listen to play it play it and this is this guy freaky. I listen to Roy Jones. She's starting to slip. Listen to this. We're gonna. We're hearing this.

Yeah, and, you know, what's dark about it all, man, is that Roy Jones was the guy who never wanted to get hit. Roy Jones was the guy who never wanted to fight really dangerous fighters, because he was always worried about brain damage, because he was buddies with Gerald McClellan. Yeah. Gerald McClellan was one of the best fucking middle-wates in light heavyweight ever. Gerald McClellan was a fucking animal, but in his prime, he got in a fight with Nigel Ben, and he cut a lot of weight for that fight. and during the fight the fight was ugly and he blasted Nigel Ben in the first round but Nigel Ben had mad heart and Nigel Ben hung in there and was there in the second and third and they fought like dogs dude and they headbutted and they clashed heads and at one time Nigel Ben and him clashed heads after Nigel Ben was jacking him with some punches like they were just they were just going after it man and He drove a clone took a knee. He went down and took a knee and then quit and then sat down his corner and there was like whoa what the fuck is going on and then he just collapsed like he was obviously done like he was his brain was starting to bleed and he'd realize that something was terribly wrong. So we tried to like, you know, stop. We started trying to sit down. Like, there's so much that a guy like him who's just a furious killer, watch like the Gerald McGrill and Jillian Jackson fight, Julian Jackson rather. If you want to see some some crazy barbaric top of the food chain, KL action boxers going at it, because Julian Jackson was like one of the hardest punches ever, and Gerald McGrill and fucked him up, and it's a crazy fight. It's a fun boxing fight to watch. But so Roy Jones Jr saw that man and never wanted to be that guy. He was always scared that he would be like, chairman of the clown man. He was always scared that he would have some serious brain damage and he would get really badly hurt. So he never took any damage, man. He fought so smart and his reflexes were so good up until he fought Antonio Tarver. He never really got fucked up. And then he beat John Ruiz. He went all the way up to heavyweight and who knows what he did to get to heavyweight. Because he was like 200 pounds and shredded. And that's not normal. Usually when you do that, you're doing some sort of testosterone or something. You're taking something. And when a lot of people don't realize, especially like fighters, they don't know who to turn to. They get their advice from, you know, from either shitty doctors or they get their advice from body builders that are their friends or something like that. What people don't understand about hormones is If you jolt your body, you make your body like a hyper testosterone levels where they're far above normal. What happens is afterwards your shit crashes. So when you get off this testosterone, if you take some crazy amount of testosterone in your system, your balls shut down. So you need double the time that you were on that shit to recover. So say if you went on a cycle and you were a Roy Jones, this is hypothetically speaking, and decided to gain 20 pounds of muscle. With you were on a cycle of steroids for three months, you need six months just to get your shit down to a normal level again. Your shit has fucked up man, your balls aren't working anymore. You're doing something that your body's not supposed to have. Your body's not supposed to have these levels in it. And so when your body has those levels, it shuts off natural production. And it takes a while for that shit to kick back in. And if you watch the difference between Roy Jones's body from the Antonio Tarver fight to the John Ruiz fight, the John Ruiz fight, he fought it heavyweight. And the next fight is that light heavyweight. And he was like smooth. He looked like he had no muscle tone. He just didn't look good, man. He looked slow. And Antonio Tarver knocked him the fuck out. And that was the first time he ever got knocked out. And from that point on, it was all downhill. And then he fought Glenn Johnson and Glenn Johnson, fucked him up. Glenn Johnson knocked him unconscious. Dead, stiff legged, you know, just, you know, that arms up in the air when they're just out cold like that. Glenn Johnson did that to him. And then ever since then, man, it's been a slow slide. You know, he fought scared against Hopkins. He didn't go after Hopkins. He just was happy to win a decision or happy to rather to lose a decision and did not get knocked out. He never tried to win that fight. you know Hopkins was just too good for him and you know and then he fought that guy Danny Green in Australia. He got knocked out in the first round and then he fought this Russian dude and got knocked a fuck out in the last round and it was ugly dude. He froze up like halfway like like was crumbling and the referee. He got looks at the referee and the referee wouldn't stop it. So he goes, all right, buping while he's crumbling while like Roy Jones is essentially slowly crumbling. This dude tees off with two full-power shots and he faced plants, completely unconscious. And so then he goes on HBO a couple weeks later and he can't say spectacular. We are watching the slow slide. We are watching everything that that guy was terrified of when he was a 20-year-old phenom. When he was on top of the world, lightning people up.

Dude, put it. You got to talk in the microphone. We can't hear that. You know that. Yeah. You all must have forgotten.

Yeah. That's what I think. No, I think we can, man. But now that we're on serious. We're on serious satellite radio. We're not allowed to play music anymore.

Did you see this shit?

The brassica power plan is about to get fucking flooded.

Well, there's a lot of floods going on, man, the nobody ever anticipated. You know, what we're finding out right now with Japan and what we're finding out with this as well is there's, there's not, they didn't do a lot of what ifs when they built these fucking things. Right. You know, they first of all, they don't have any options to shut them down if they don't have any power. When they lost the backup generators in Japan and everything got flooded out by the tsunami, they had essentially they had eight hours before the things started melting down. They're fucked. There's no way to stop it. They made these crazy things. These fusion or fusion reactors, whenever they are fusion or fusion, which one isn't? Nuclear fusion? I think it's fusion. Fusion? Whatever the fuck it is, this incredible amount of energy in this one isolated area and they can't stop it. They don't know how to stop it. What's going on in Japan right now, man? The Micheal Kaku just wrote a really fascinating and terrifying article about it about how there are three complete meltdowns in those plants in Japan. And, you know, there's people online that are in denial about this for some reason. Like, someone in my message board was, you know, a thread about this was like, oh, you know, you're giving out misinformation about Japan. It's not that bad. Like the fuck it's not, man. There's video online on YouTube of people that live miles and miles away, that have taken Geiger counters, and they walk around with a Geiger counter on, and then they take the Geiger counter, and they put the Geiger counter on the ground. And that's when it's fucking terrifying. Because in the air when you walk it around, it looks like, yeah, it's a little radiated radioactive, but not too bad. But then when you put the fucking thing on the ground, there's a couple of videos like this. You see that the fucking levels are off the charts, like way into the levels where people aren't supposed to be anywhere near. Yeah, and it's on the ground, man. It's on the fucking ground, because that's where apparently the all the radioactivity collects. It collects on the ground. So this guy takes this guy, this guy your counter puts it on the ground. So I'm freaking out, man. So I bought some Geiger counters on Amazon, I tried to buy some Geiger counters.

Yeah, especially after we had the conversation about Rocket Dine, Rocket Dine, which is only, you know, in fucking 10 miles from here or something like that, it had a total meltdown, so totally. In the 50s.

Do we should do what Japan is for you to help those fucking people that are anywhere near that place, help them get out and then use that as a place to store the world's garbage. That's my idea. That's like your idea. I've been saying that on stage for weeks, bitch.

Okay. You think you said that before me?

He might be right now that I think about it. Either way. It's a perfect idea. It's a perfect idea. Yeah, I think it's an awesome. Whoever's idea was, maybe it was yours. I want to watch weed.

A spot where we could just dump garbage. Right into the hole of it. Fly over in a helicopter and just drop it right into the, what would happen?

The large hatch on collider, so we could litter in other galaxies. That's terrible. They have hypernovas in space. They find these hypernovas that are basically these really super powerful nose that have these jets of energy spraying out in either direction. What if that was garbage? What if we got like really close? We saw like cans and shit rubbers and it turns out that all that shit spring out was the garbage of another dimension They had figured out how to launch all of their garbage with a rocket ship into black holes the planets all clean Planet super clean like that walk around with a portable like connection to that black hole I saw another thing that I see and I'm I don't know a port on this because this is number nine for me This is the ninth time I've seen this. A fucking guy in a Prius throwing a cigarette out the window. God damn that drives me crazy. This motherfucker pulled into a organic food parking lot of an organic food store gets out of his Prius and throws his fucking cigarette on the ground. I'm like, you can't, you dumb, dumb, dumb, can't. You stupid fuck. What kind of a person goes so far to think they're helping the environment by buying a Prius? He had a pony tail on. So he's like, I'm living natural. I'm going to go get some natural organic food and I'm just going to throw my cigarette right there.

Didn't throw cigarettes out the window at Whole Foods?

Well, it's people, man. I've seen nine times now. Nine times I've seen a guy in a Prius through a cigarette window. Nine. Over the course of my entire life, this is the ninth guy. I've been documenting them. The last one was in San Francisco. The last one in San Francisco I saw two in a weekend I was there. I was there Thursday through Sunday, working at Cobbs and I saw two guys in their fucking Prius' throat cigarettes out the window. That's incredible. It's incredible. It's your video tape. Oh, too. You never know to have your fucking camera out. Like there's a guy in a Prius. Let's follow him. Smoking. I know he's got this fucking fucking window.

Well, if they had the right dosage of LSD, if you get administered in a laboratory, and you knew exactly what you were getting, there was an article really recently that said that MDMA, which is ecstasy and LSD, was far closer to being available for prescription than anybody would really imagine.

Far closer.

Does every XC have that that that next day? Blah feeling.

And this is just stuff really works. The on it stuff. I gave that shit that the the new tropic formula. Eddie, do you know we're making a brain pill? I got to talk about it. We're making a brain pill. We're making a neutral product? No, no, no, I mean Chris Marcus. Chris Marcus doing all the work. I'm going to help promote it. But he started a laboratory when he left flashlight, started a laboratory for he's been on the podcast a bunch of times and twice. And he decided to come up with his own business and one of them was that there's a bunch of different neutral picks, a bunch of different like supplements that can aid in brain function. And what he does kind of bears combine all the best ones and put them together. Dude, they give you the craziest. If I go, well, that's when I had the Arnold Schwarzenegger.

No, they're not well, maybe like that, but this is going to be much stronger. This stuff is like something.

Yeah.

I don't know what his levels were and what stuff he had as opposed to what stuff Chris has had. I would like to look at the two of them. But whatever it is, this shit that Chris has put together, he's thoroughly researched this and come up with this incredible formula. It really fucking works. First of all, the really freaky thing is man, you don't get tired on this shit. That's the weird thing. Like, if I travel all the way across the country, you would figure by the time I get there five hours later, I'm exhausted, right? But when I take these fucking pills, man, we did a show on Friday. We flew a red eye. All right, landed Friday morning. I didn't sleep at all. I slept a little bit on the plane. I ate something, gotten the shower, went to the U.S.E. Wayans, went from the wayans to got some food, ate food, worked over my material, went over some of my material, got with Joey. We smoked a joint, went on stage. Then did our show afterwards went to hang out with Ralphie May afterwards went to a strip club afterwards came back to the hotel and I'm still awake. I'm like how the fuck am I awake? And then I realized I took six of those fucking pills six I took three earlier three yeah because I was exhausted. I took three in the morning and then three like an hour before the show. Oh dog just figured some shit out man The crazy thing is when you have dreams, the dreams are super vivid and you can remember them.

Well, what I was impressed with is that I had some good ideas and I didn't want to get up and write them down and I actually remember them.

I was going over that video. You know, there's that video if you've seen it online of the Miss USA page and contestants, they ask them about evolution. Yeah, yeah, yeah pull that shit up because it's fucking fascinating pull it up and we'll just play a little bit of it because it's it's the most ridiculous shit ever and they get these girls and all of them from the deep south all of them don't believe in evolution They're all like I don't believe in evolution, you know, and I'm thinking while I'm there. I'm of course you don't believe in evolution you're 20 years old Nobody's ever caveman fucked you. Nobody ever guerrilla fucked you. You don't you don't know what darkness really is. You don't know that there's shades to man. There's a there's a whole progression. There's a fucking spectrum of human behavior from really civilized and beautiful and nice to barbaric and animalistic and that shit's because we came from fucking animals hooker and you just haven't even experienced that yet in your your little cute life with your sash on your fucking I remembered it all vividly when I woke up in the morning. What is that? We don't really have to see it.

It's low hanging fruit. It's just really really poured dumb girls that are 20 years old and they're asking about evolution and they're saying things that they want people to hear. Well, I think Jesus put me here for a purpose because they think that all the people from their church and all the people back on all that's what they would want to hear. You know, when you're 20 years old and you're indoctrinated into the world of religion, what are the odds you actually have a real opinion of it? You actually sat down and sorted this shit out. Most of the time, they're just spitting out shit that other people have been saying to them their whole life. You know, 20 years old, the fuck did you know when you were 20? You know, could you imagine if somebody had you on video talking about what you thought about the world when you were 20?

Do you got to talk in the mic, bro? I was an atheist at 20.

Yeah, well, you probably just, you were stuck in Ohio, too. Yeah. You know what the fuck? You were in Columbus.

When you, what do you return? You were saying 10th plan. It's just a plan.

I mean, you have no around 30. Wow. And so you're traveling pretty much every weekend to do a seminar on one of them.

I love doing nothing at home. When you have a day when you don't have to fucking be anywhere. Yeah. So beautiful.

I got already to do it for a year.

It was the last time popped out of place.

How long after you actually injury was the popped out? uh three years four years.

I was like, oh my god, did it just pop out to fucking hurt? You know, you got to develop a higher tolerance to paint some.

That's one thing you get from your jutsu man. You got a high-ass tolerance to paint. Because you're always in pain. You're always getting smashed. You're always in your next getting choked. You're always your faces getting smushed. You know, like when you get tattooed, like some people get tattooed and they fucking scream and agony, I fell asleep getting tattooed once. Literally nod it out. Just you get used to putting it out. You get used to putting pain. And in any martial art, anything you're hitting things and moly Thai guys, man. You don't think they get accustomed to pain. You leg kicks always hurt, man. They're going to hurt forever. But you just get accustomed to that. You just deal with it. Your legs certainly toughen up, especially your thighs toughen up and your shins really toughen up. They actually develop like little micro fractures over the surface of your shin from clashing into other shins and kicking fucking banana trees and shit like that. Those crazy tie guys that are constantly kicking banana trees, they develop like shins that are like weapons, man. There's like a sport science on it where they show Uh, Melchur, um, God, I forget the last name, his name, his phone, but there's a phrase a moitai guy, but uh, he's a former World Champion and they had him kick baseball bats. And he was breaking baseball bats with shins. Dude, dude, it was so crazy to watch. Just just swinging that leg kick into a baseball bat and snapping the handle off. Fuck that, dude. He did two different kinds. He did an ash one, an ash bat, and a maple bat. Because the ash bed apparently is like a little easier, so then you move to the maple one next. Yeah, that is grabbing my shins. Yeah. This is such a difference in striking, the difference in striking and gjitsu. I mean, you can get hurt in both of them for sure. Miguel Torres, former WBC band in my champion, posted a picture. Worst BJJ injury ever at my gym, and it's a dude's toe. His toe got broken. Have you seen it? You have to see it. You need to look at it. Dude, toe got broken and snapped off in the bone with sticking straight out. Dude, it was ha ha hard core. And I was like, yeah, that can happen, man. Dude's can get fucked up, but it's striking. You're much more likely to get Roy Jones and striking. That shit is, that shit's happening on a regular. Dude's are constantly getting brained, you know? There's constantly getting knocked out. There was a post on the underground, the other day. Some guy was talking about getting knocked out and training, you know, and how much had pissed you off, some new guy came in, didn't really know what he's doing, swank full blast, and he didn't get out of the way, and he got knocked unconscious, you know, and fucking. Not good, man. When you watch something like a Pat Barry and Czech Congo, does that shit, does that shit register with you? Do you see that and go, whoa, what's going on inside Pat Barry's head right now? And Czech Congo has pulled them, got brained on, you know?

It'll be awesome if they can fix it. If you tear a knee ligament, they can get another ligament and stick it in there and screw it in place and they can fix it up nice. hurt your brain they go do don't worry about it we're going to put you in this chamber it rejuvenates all your brain cells and it's you know you're going to be a hundred percent a couple weeks what if that's great mark is stuff actually does that I don't think so what's it's going to be a lot more complicated in some herbs I think I would think that if there's going to be something that regenerates brain tissue that's injured it's going to be something like some nanotechnology something that rehabilitates or you know fixes to you

He's not even willing to retire. He owes taxes apparently. He owes a 3.5 million dollars in taxes according to my online sources that I haven't had quickly googled.

They don't pay man. They don't fucking pay. They just don't have a business manager or an accountant. They just get stupid man. They get stupid. They get stupid. They just spend all that money and they have some wacky motherfucker that's handling their money. Just like a kind of guy who had a wacky motherfucker handling his hormones. There's a guy that would have a wacky motherfucker handling his money. And that guy tells you like Wesley Snipes is dude told them. You know, hey, you don't have to pay taxes, man, that shit is unconstitutional. Look, I show you the closets, man. They ain't even going to come out to you because they don't want anybody know about this. And they're like, oh, yeah, no, they're going to come out to you and you're going to have to go to jail for a few years. You know, you're a movie star and all of a sudden you're in jail. You're still in jail? Yeah, man. He's in jail right now. He's in jail right now. He's going to be in jail for three years. They want to let people know. Hey, we will lock you in a fucking cage stupid. You need to pay us and you need to let everybody know that you're paying and let everybody know that they need to pay. We all need money to make this fucking thing work. No, cops don't work for free. You know, it's not free to fix the highways. We need fucking money. Even if you don't agree with it, you and if it's too much and I agree it is. It's definitely too much. You gotta pay that shit anyway, son. To put you in a fucking cage, right, Brian? Yeah. Do you have some tax problems?

What's your tax problems?

You know, all my studies that like the bank getting together with the fucking absolutely tax people. Do you think that they can spy or do like this? There's a lot of people out of money, man. We can get a lot more money that way. Yeah. All these assholes claiming deductibles and shit.

Really? Maybe he just robbed her. Maybe he's like, with this bitch. Oh my god. Give me a lot of money.

What are you gonna do in the movie? Porn. Hmm, for a person. Does not work any money and poor anymore, dude. You got to come up with another strategy. That's try to do it up in the shit in 1993. You could have been like Peter North. Peter North drives a Ferrari and he did gay porn. Yeah. How about that? How about that? He's the only one that got away with doing gay porn. He did gay porn. They're like, all right, don't do it again. And then he came back and did regular porn from then on out. But he did a little gay porn. I didn't believe it. Like people told me. I was like, no way. Not Peter, man. No way, dude. You know, because if you're gonna have a porn idol, that's the one to have. You know, dude shoots these giant monster loads. But then you go and find some videos online as a dude sucking his cock and like, hey, hey, hey, and it's dude's bone them in the ass. He like, hey, hey, hey, and he tried to say there was like a body double. Sun, they ain't no CGI that good.

Yeah. We talked about it on the podcast. Yeah. Second time. That is a crazy story. That's a good story. The quick version of it is that a friend of yours name won't say it. Friend of ours. No, we did. Never did. How dare you? Friend of ours was running a small mixed martial arts corporation and he found they did an internet search on one of their fighters. And they found out that he had won the hungriest butt award. And then they googled him. There was no Google back then. This is like the 90s. And they found some online pictures of him with two dudes treating him like Chinese finger.

Long weekend. I think it's just what they call the video to sell it. I don't think there was really like on the award show.

I think it was a name of a video. The Hungryus but awards or something like that.

I mean, well, look, look, we could give out an award to the hungry spot. Foreign awards.

Brian wins it. You know, they are. I won the business.

Like the master of one more gay male male gay porn. So we shouldn't be googling this. This is probably puts you on a list. Yeah. Male gay porn.

I don't know. Maybe Twitter would know. I bet if we ask Twitter. Dear Twitter, what is the number one gay male porn star in the world? Is there a Michael Jordan or gay breed off the first answer?

Now I just don't think there's always some Lance Armstrong type motherfucker that figures things out that other people can't just rises to the top and becomes famous at a genre where no one else is getting famous.

Can you ask me? Okay, this guy says. I only watch Brent Corrigan or this is a woman, rather, amperes and she says it's Brent Corrigan that might be her ex-boyfriend. Let's see. Oh, yeah, my. This fucking clown. I'm going to get him on the on the Joe road in podcast. Okay. Let's see. He's a male modern gay porn graph as best known for his stage name. Yep. There he is. It was already high. That's known for his roles in schoolboy crush. uh... and velvet mafia he has one six gavian they have the gavian to set it up in per gavian awards including best bottom award two consecutive years uh... the count of the but hole or they just talking about the shape of the but uh... best bottom is you being on the bottom taken in the ass of the bottom it doesn't mean they wouldn't say bottom instead of but hole you know he's a surprise they're pretty open about how they feel I love his bottom. No, they'd see this asshole.

This guy's been a lot of goddamn movies. All right, let's let's find out what the number what would we what would we say? see Greece holds the record for the biggest gay gang bang Greece the movie probably probably a dude this was 780 men oh big rush is regular checks yeah going nuts on ass but suck wow 780 men

Wow, listen to this though, man. Listen to this shit. The most ejaculatory orgasms ever recorded in one hour for a man is 16. 16. In one hour for a man. Four orgasms. You're recording one hour for a man. Dude, this guy. Four. The furthest a woman has ever been recorded to ejaculate was 9 feet 29 inches. Well, why would it be 9 feet 29 inches? She squirt 12 inches as a foot. That's stupid. Oh, that doesn't make any sense.

Why does it say 9 feet 29 inches? Oh, it says 3 meters. Okay. Is that 3 minutes is just 9 feet, right? Isn't it? No. No. There's 3 feet per meter. Right. Roughly. Right. So 3 meters is 9 feet. So why is it 9 feet 29 inches? That doesn't make any sense of 12 inches as a foot. Anyway, whatever the fuck this says. The greatest distance ever attained for a jet of seamen that has ever been recorded is 18 feet 9 inches. That's huge. Wow.

Horst Schultz. That's the guy's name that shot a load that won 18 feet in the air. That's incredible.

Uh, either ways, by distance. I guess it's got to be a distance. No way it could be straight up. 18 feet. That's incredible. He has must have an arc to it. A nice arc, like a McDonald's line type thing going on for 18 feet. Did they video it? I don't know. They must hit this. I mean, these are all world records. This is the top 10 sex world records. It's unbelievable. The average speed of a man's loads. What would you say your average speed of your loads would be?

82. 28 miles an hour. 28 miles an hour. It's pretty close.

I think if your car drove by, you could tell the difference between the cargo and 28 miles an hour and 35 miles an hour, that's pretty fucking close. Having swallowed the most amount of seam and ever officially recorded Michelle Monakhan had 1.7 pints of seam and pumped out of her stomach and Los Angeles in July of 1991.

Dude, 1.7 points, but maybe she had like a glass of coconut water, C2O, very delicious right before, and it mixed in with the loads. Maybe if I've increased the size of the quantity of fluid in her, you know, when she threw up, maybe she's throwing up loads and a sprite. You don't know, right? Right? What are they going to test it? Make sure it's 100% loads. No, they just looked at it and it's like the pizza. You wouldn't know the difference. Yeah, she just came into a big one of those big glass baking measurement cups. She just threw up in it. It was 1.7. The fuck is this podcast coming?

The female gang record is owned by a woman named Houston who had intercourse with 620 men. I think that's been.

That's a lot. I don't think it really is 600 men though. I think what they do is they do the same guys and they keep rotating them and they consider that.

This is the guy they like they come in and they come back.

This doesn't even have gay. It has male gang bang male gang bang world record goes to porn star John Doe who worked himself over 55 women in one day. He had five to six ejaculations.

Well, yeah, check me while that guy committed suicide. I got blew his fucking brains out.

Like it's actually coming up and he counts it when he cries. I'm coming. Oh, coming.

Are you bragging bro?

Like you're bragging your life. What's that smell?

I don't know anybody like that. Right again. It's possible. It's all possible dude. If you were like some super alpha quitting Jackson looking motherfucker on my butt I'm like believe it. But maybe all you testosterone is just stored up in your balls and your body doesn't use any of it from muscle development or you know behavior or any of that shit.

bonus comes right back your fucking pictures of your girlfriend away you're making me sad seriously and ever goes away let's have like my for the for the first time in my life my bone or never goes down I just can you know why saying this because you know is ex girlfriend listen to podcasts this is not why I swear to God it's not why we can do that the Taylor was Joey Diaz right now you can do that the Taylor was deliver fixin all day god no no it's a different thing right Brian it's different love this time You never find, don't, don't, don't, don't. Whoa, we just fucking you doing, huh? Tech guy. That's a real impressive man.

Sneak in some black or in your drinks.

Maybe she got tired of you like, remember you say you would fall asleep because you were too tired to go down on her and then fall asleep because you were too tired to do anything that you do her and then you would fall asleep. You talked about on the podcast. You did. My current girlfriend. You said she was horny and you too tired of sex with her so you would go down.

Maybe that time, she's like, I'm tired of this shit. I want to get fucked. And so she started crumbling up Viagran. I'm going to cook for you tonight, honey. She made you a nice Viagran meat loaf.

We were going to stay in a stripper that was a born again, Christian. So you'd call her born again.

I thought that A E is supposed to kill your boner. Then you say that you would take Viangra and E together because you called after a while after a while, it kills your boner.

How many times have we done E in your life? How many times?

Oh my god. That's a lot. That explains a lot.

It was an I was a young girl. This motherfucker is taking shitty doesn't even know what it is. He's taking bath salts. Yeah. You got to get your shit from reputable sources. Exactly. You need to find some friendly person that works at a club somewhere.

Yeah, I'm fast all boy shit. Exactly. That stuff's supposed to be really if you see this this crocodile shit They shit that they're taking the Soviet Union They're shooting it up and it's making your skin run away There's all these photos of people with their bones hanging off literally your bones exposed from where they were wherever they shot it up like their flashes deteriorated to point where their bones are exposed. Yeah, it's crazy to look at man. It's crazy What a weird world we live in, man. People will take some drug that will make your skin literally rot off your body. People will take some shit that they think is ecstasy and it turns out to be some weird fucking emphetamine that somebody made in the lab, you know, who knows what the fuck is going to do to you? And it's not the end. They're going to keep coming up with more and more of these things. Think about stuff like the dummies. Yeah, these baths all, that's you, bro. You took that shit, right? Is it, does that scare you? Do you think of that? Yeah. That you could have taken something really nutty?

When you buy stuff like that, if you buy like ecstasy, doesn't that scare you? Like you never know, like you might get it from some dude. That is scary. You heard about this cocaine that's making people's fucking flesh rot. You heard about this shit? No. This some cocaine is bad cocaine that's in California, it's in New York and it's uh, treated with some livestock dewormer. That's what they cut it with. And you know, let me look it up right now because it's fucking crazy.

Yeah, yeah, it's cocaine, bad cocaine in Los Angeles, New York City, tainted with a some sort of uh, here it is, a livestock dewormer. Yeah, it's really fucked up. What's happened to you when you do it? They're getting, they're getting really bad noses, ears, and cheeks develop ugly purple swatches of dead skin. This is like, it's called La Vamassol. That's the stuff. And the dealers are cutting it with this shit. And they say like 90% of the cocaine in New York and California is contaminated with this shit.

So excuse me, 70% of the US Department of Justice is reporting this. Okay, by the way, this is just the US Department of Justice. They might just be saying this to cut out the cocaine business. They're saying up to 70% of the cocaine in the U.S. is contaminated with this levant muscle, which is cheap and widely available and commonly used for deworming livestock. What the fuck, man? What are they doing? You would think that that would be something that someone who hates cocaine users would do. You would think that would be someone who actually wants to stop people from using cocaine. You know, they would like mix it in there so that people would stop coming back. You know what I'm saying? Like, why would you do that if you're trying to sell more cocaine? Then almost seems like something like the government would do, man.

I don't know, maybe, but it's on LA weekly. Seems like they would do their due diligence.

Don't you think? Yeah. You fell asleep on me. You motherfucker.

I said, I'll leave. What do you think? Do you think that they would do this? Who the fuck would do this? Do you think this is the government? Oh, no. Do you see the UFO videos over London? Do you believe in those? Do you see that?

It looks like CGI to me. It's too convenient. The whole of the way it's set up is too convenient. There's a bunch of people staying there looking up and everybody's looking up and they're catching these things that they fly in and out of clouds. I think that but you know what really makes me think that it's two convenient. The guy film looks up films, some of the UFOs, and it looks down at all these people watching, which is the fucking lasting that you would do if you actually thought you saw real UFOs flying through the air. you would keep the fucking camera on them. You wouldn't want to turn it and point down at all these people watching.

Yeah, but he showed that before. He showed everybody looking up at the sky.

Yeah, I could get this. I think it's fake. People get a kick out of doing shit like that. They think it's cute. So much fake shit on the internet now. That's one of the fun things about the internet. Trying to figure out what's fake and what's not. Brian's the master of that shit. He calls fakes. He calls fakes better than anybody. But sometimes he's off. Sometimes it's just sound sync problems and it looks fake. Look at this cocaine shit. I was doing these people.

Yeah, your skin's fucking fall. Yeah.

There's some people of suffered permanent scarring on their body from the shit.

This message brought to you by prescription pills.

It's called Love VAMISOL. Yeah. L-E-V-A-M-I-S-O-L-E. Love VAMISOL. It's bad for you, kids. And on that note, I think this fucking podcast started off real strong. And then somewhere another way we lost a lot of steam.

It's always out of power. It was my fault. We go to the gay porn and Brian started reminiscing about his girlfriend.

Tomorrow, somebody, I'm not sure, somebody will be on the podcast. The guy from ancient aliens is coming on the podcast and he's coming on at the end of July. It'll be July 27 and his name is Georgio and this is a tough one to pronounce. T-S-O-U-K-A-L-O-S. Sukalo's Sukalo's maybe Sukalo's George Yo's Sukalo's and he's the guy from HN Aliens with the crazy hair who's a self-refest wacky alien love and bastard because that's what I call him and he said yes guilty is charged He's cool as fuck I like him and I'm I'm excited to have mom because we're gonna talk about some weird shit. You should probably be on that one man I would love to ask a question. Yeah. You should probably, you know, that one, that would be a fun conversation.

Yeah, we might have to bring you in on that one. I mean, I have to bring Eddie, Eddie Bravo, and with the, the alien dude. It would be honored. Yeah, because no one loves aliens more than you and him. You and him together would be a fucking, yeah. Yeah, we fuck people out. So now me of alien love.

I don't see them.

Well, my whole logo is alien. And fly it saucers and shit. Yeah, I'm down. I love the love.

I've seen so much stuff, I think. The way I look at it, and this is not not that I don't believe in them, because it's not that I don't believe in them. I don't not believe. I don't believe UFOs don't exist. I don't believe that. My mind is open about it, but I'm not convinced either way. But the way I look at it is like everyone's got a goddamn camera with a on their phone. Everyone does now. You would think that if there if I meet a thousand people okay out of every thousand people that I meet at least 10 of them are fucking morons like extreme morons right if you meet a thousand when you say 10 are just complete idiots, pathological liars, completely fucked up, right? A good solid 10, right? So I would think that if there's that many people that are idiots and fucked up, and then you look at the number of UFO stories, like what are the numbers? The numbers like are similar to what you'd expect from a population of retards, like a small population of dominance.

I believe that.

Yeah, I've seen that I've seen that written, but who knows what that really is what he said. You know, it's so hard when dudes dead and he died in 1977. You know, who the fuck knows what he actually said?

Yeah. Two different guys? No, I think, look, is it entirely possible?

Yeah, comes to the evidence. Maybe, or maybe he's a troll. Maybe Werner von Braun is a big Nazi troll. I mean, the thing about Werner von Braun is he was the head of Nazi, of NASA rather, but he was a confirmed Nazi. And then the Simon Weesenthal Center said, if that guy was alive today, They would prosecute him for crimes against humanity. So who the fuck knows? He could have been trolling. But I don't believe that it's impossible. It's definitely possible. So I'm looking forward to having this Georgia doodon. It should be a fastening conversation. I want to find out how his brain works, man. Now, because he said, he says a lot of crazy stuff.

Maybe a little bit maybe maybe it's fun, you know, maybe some of it's sexy. I mean, you run sexy. Yeah, it's sexy. It's sexy to believe in Bigfoot, you know? It's sexy to believe in aliens. It's sexy to believe in all that shit. It's interesting. Who the fuck knows? But that's coming up. I don't know who's going to be on tomorrow, but we'll get somebody. And then maybe Thursday is going to be my friend, Jan Irvin, you know, Jan, we'll do to wrote all the books on mushrooms and religion. The problem is he's got the flu and I don't want the fucking flu. Yeah, let's give him a couple of weeks.

Yeah, he turned me on a lot of things. He's a fascinating cat. He's a real real odd duck and he's written two books now on psychedelics and religion one.

He was with us when we you had that crazy bad trip.

Yeah, it was pretty bad. Scream and a gallon. Scream and a lot of Eddie fucked up and he ate food right before he went on his trip, which you're never supposed to do. You're not supposed to have anything in your stomach when you go on the trip because your body, you know, kind of freaks out. So he in the middle of this trip gets up and I have to help them get to sink and you threw up in the sink. You hurled in the sink.

No, no, no. You made it to the sink. You made it to the sink. You don't even remember the story that could, right?

Right. That was John. Yeah. John changed the names of everything.

Why did John change it was a Johnny Rotten?

It was either Yon or Johnny Rotten, Chains and names.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when you threw up.

Well, the thing about bad trips is the real bad trips happen when you're trying to control the experience. Yeah, like the whole idea is to just let go and let this journey happen and you got to you got to trust in the psychedelic, but you were fighting it too thin claw.

Chazam, this Friday night, July 1st, we will all be in Las Vegas, Brian included. So if you want a hug, Brian, come on down. We met this dude out of fucking Death Squad tattoo. You're a little logo. This guy had a tattoo. I think there's four people now with it. That's crazy. And there's a few that have the higher primary tattoos, too. And there's a bunch of, how many, ten final tattoos are there now? There's a bunch, man.

The Death Squad tattoo is awesome, man. I'm making it prettier. This Friday night, we will all be at Mandela Bay. It's going to be Joey Diaz, Ari Shafir, me. Doug Benson is going to stop by. He's going to do a guest set and Brian, if we get him drunk enough with my push him in front of the microphone. I'm going to push you on at the end. The very end, you're going to come out and talk to the crowd and do some Q&A. Some Q&A when you're on acid. So that's this Friday night and then next weekend we are in Irvine at the Irvine Improv and that should be fun. It's fuck that is yeah Irvine is great that is the Irvine weekend is the seventh eighth or the eighth ninth and tenth of July So that's it, pitches. Thanks for tuning in, everybody. And we will see you all tomorrow. Thank you. And thanks to the flush light. Yeah, sure. If you go to jorogan.net, click on the link for the flush light. Answer in the code name, Rogan, you get 15% off the number one sex toy for man. Go ahead, fellow shoot some loads in it, knowing that you have saved a couple dollars.

What are the chance to do? So we're gonna butt fuck each other. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of people bring in their wives. A lot of people bring in their wives.

you scared that anybody might freak out that someone taps a money and then they just throw them overboard.

The graces do a good thing.

Wow. We need to do a desk while cruise. How cold that is. Yeah, I don't want to go on a boat. He's stuck. Yeah. Be scared. And what if there's some weirdos on the boat? They know where your cabin is and not gonna go.

We've got to get the VIP suite. Uh, VIP suite. All right, folks. Thank you, Mr. Bravo. Follow Eddie on Twitter. Eddie Bravo on Twitter. Um, E. D. D. I.E. Bravo. Just how it spelled. You know how it works. And Brian is red band and you can also subscribe to the red. The Desquad series of podcasts that Brian hosts on iTunes, it's called Desquad, and it's Sam Trippley's podcast, Tom Sigura's podcast, Irish Fears Podcast, and a bunch of other different ones every now and then the throwing in new ones into the mix, but they're very entertaining and fun, especially if you're into liquid ass and people stick and fingers and other people's fleshlights. Thank you everybody, see you tomorrow.

I'm going to let you in on the secret. If you want to be more confident, you have to start taking care of yourself. And a great way to do that is use Dr. Squatch, especially with their new private hygiene products.