Transcript for #190 - Greg Fitzsimmons

See that's how you, you have to open a musical opening. It's very important. Greg and I started out probably within like a week of each other right yeah back in Boston the old Boston stitches comedy community you know and dude we you and I have gone through some fucking we went through some crazy gigs in the beginning man we we went through together we went through like the darkest time for stand-ups well the the early days

It was for me it was exactly one year. I first got paid by Norm LaFaut to open up for Warren McDonald. Peking Garden? I don't know where it was. It was some bar. I was on a like an Apple box, like literally, like standing on an Apple box, doing comedy. Can't fucking move. And, you know, I had a good time. And then the next time I learned for Lenny Clark, there's a two times in a row. I got super lucky, normal foe. I caught me a couple.

Yeah, I had to. I had a sink or swim. There's times when I would make agreements to steal each other's shit. If we were a bomb, I'd say dude, you got my whole act. If you're eating thick up there, feel free to just, anyway, come back to that blow job joke. Kills. If you go back to pee, but you might want to wait on three of them.

There was a point in time where both of us were doing like middleing gigs and we really didn't have the time. We really didn't have a real solid half hour. So it's sometimes you just, when you're a young comic and you slip in the beginning of your set, like the odds of you pulling yourself out of the fire, oh, yeah. I remember one time I was having a good set and I knocked over a drink and I didn't address it. Yeah.

It just, you know, it would be real hard when we'd watch each other. You know, you're watching a friend eat dick in the beginning too, because you know how devastating it is. You know, there's sometimes where you know this guy is not going to pull himself out of this and he has 15 more minutes to go. Yeah, watch them slosh through it up there.

Yeah, it's like we would help each other. Yeah. Well, there was a time where I was headline and where I had no fucking business headline and there was no way. I barely had 40 minutes and they were letting me headline these rooms and I would have to stretch it all out and if something went wrong and it went wrong hard. Yeah. That's there's no better motivation to creating new material than when you just those shows happen and you just fucking have to get to work. Like you need more weapons, man. Yeah. You're not on a weapons too quick. You're up there dying.

Well, there were guys that were doing it that were so good. The best. Yeah, what we came up in an era where, you know, I've talked about this a hundred times on the podcast and people always go, yeah, yeah, yeah, we know they were really good comedians back then. I don't think people even understand what a what a it was like a utopia. Boston was like this stand-up comedy utopia. There was at one point in time there was five clubs in a tiny little area.

Yeah, remember there was just that one block of warrant warrant. It was next comedy stop and then there was duck soup and then there was a comedy connection and then Mike Chuck Mike Clark had the comedy club in the Charles Playhouse above the comedy and then on the weekends you cut over to Dick Dardy's comedy vault.

Yeah, crazy this. Yeah, and then you get your car. You drive down the stitches on a comma. It's like holy shit.

It was with a big club.

and no one ever thought they were going to get famous.

All anyone wanted to do was become a big boss in comic. Yeah. It's like the fame that you wanted was just being accepted amongst your peers and having crowds come and see you. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it.

You know, one of the first guys I ever saw do a live set was Tom Carter. Tom Carter's one of the first guys. He's our buddy from Boston. It's a great guy. And he was in like some sort of the first time I ever went. Some sort of open mic night. And he was like the first guy that everyone on stage.

That guy always used to bum me out. And the reason why used to bum me out because he was so fucking funny to hang out with, but he wanted to take it down a notch and he wanted to like, maybe maybe I shouldn't go so dirty, maybe I shouldn't. And you wanted to go, dude, that's you when you're at your best. You're a pervert.

It was one of the first guys I know that would walk around with his balls hanging out of his pants. Yeah. One of the first guys, like no one was doing that back when we were 20. You know, we were like 21 or whatever the hell we were. And Tom Carter's walking around with his balls hanging out of his pants. He was like, Jesus, man.

Yeah. It was the part of the fun of having a guy like Tom Carter too is because you knew that he would like do something like that. You knew he would want up things. Yeah. You knew if there was a bunch of comics hanging around Carter would find a way to make something fucked up.

I always felt like he kind of pulled back on stage though, you know.

This is a funny thing. There is a fucking distinction between, you know, a pair of shorts and boxer shorts. It's just a thickness of the cloth at that point.

It's up underneath. Just sat there and watched.

He's taking a photo and I can you imagine you just grabbing your own balls just Real weird, and only working the head, a lot of like twisty shit on the head. Go over hand on it. A lot of weird twisty shit on the head.

Yeah, Brian, don't you have the same thing? It's like you like watching amateur porn?

Right. How can you call that a breakthrough?

That doesn't give you AIDS, right? Yeah. I don't think so. Would you take AIDS ridden loads on your face?

Yeah. It seems, I mean, look, I absolutely agree with testing and all that stuff, but I don't want to watch porn unless they're not wearing a condom. Sorry. It's gross.

Well, the last thing I want to know is that she's doing it because she didn't have the love of her parents. And the parents are dead. That's the first thing I'm going to think of. And then it's a boner killer right there, son.

No, no, you just stop beating off. Why would you do that? Wait, how was the starter supposed to be? You know, like, you go listen, I just learned some disturbing news and as soon as I get rid of this load, I'm gonna dress and chew it.

Jump right back on it. You're looking. This doesn't have to stop. This is this baller. It's been achieved. Yep. A baller that's been achieved should be released.

Don't turn your computer back to it. It doesn't. Just because you, you know, your dick didn't make the mistake. Yeah. Your daughter made the mistake. So if you give you dick, it's medicine.

I am gonna yell at you. Accentuate your orgasm because now you're getting mad at somebody.

And that dragon's your daughter. What would you do? Watching your daughter shot, but you can only be shocked by it once unless you just became a freak and you were into watching your daughter get fucked.

rapie not full-on rapie right yeah yeah it's interesting how times have changed when it comes to like treating women like there was something I was watching that Jay Edgar Hoover show though the movie rather with the Good movie, but one of the most interesting aspects of it is how the G-man before the G-man became like the symbol that everybody wanted to achieve and everybody wanted to be a G-man. All these young kids growing up before it was like James Cagney playing like these gangsters. White eight and he would always like smush something in the girls face or slapper in the face and like hey guys would be laughing and I was like yeah look at all the violence that they would do to women. It would like regular women would say something crazy and they would smash

You remember high planes drifter when he rapes the chicken a barn John Wayne clenneswood clenneswood raped a chicken a barn and it's like the way he treated her it's like yeah, that's what guys used to do Yeah, we would hold a girl down pull their pants down and just fucker if they could get away with it if no one was around that is what they would do it occurred to me the other day are we the only species that doesn't

Sure. It's of course. Yeah, we're winning one of your fucked. I mean they do in our study, too. They just don't want to get fucked by all the men hence the problem the problem is that there's judgment the problem is that it's not that that people on this either want to fuck can't find people on that side willing to fuck that's not what it is just there's a lot of judgment going on Yeah. People are deciding. No, I don't like you. No, I don't want you. They want some deck. They just don't want your deck. And that gets people angry. Hence the rapy.

There's this biological and sociological. But it was purely biological. It could all be cured with masturbation. There's a sociological aspect to it that women are not attracted to you and you get angry. You want to force yourself on them because it's what you want. You want them to want you to fuck them. Yeah, they don't want to fuck you. You're gross. You're gross to them. So whatever we're talking about is a rapist. You're not a rapist. No, no, no. So I think, you know, it's more psychological, I think, and sociological than even as physiological. Unless you know, that's a rapist. That was a whole life. Yeah. Well, that's not rape. If you like, hold your girl down with your stubs and your fucking air. Oh, you can't have a heart. Yeah, you can't masturbate. So this is the only reason you're just like, look, I don't want to rape anybody, but I gotta do what I gotta do. Yeah.

Yeah, I bet you, there's a lot of dudes with no arms, I could rape the fuck out of you. Real strong ones, like farm hand guys, just two stubs, just a big guy with some thick thighs. Yeah. I don't know how to pin you down on his weight.

Hell yeah.

Whatever. The arm is just loosening your asshole up for his cock, because that's how big his cock is. Damn! How about that? See, it's a trick moving. You think, well, this guy is going to use his stuff. Oh, shit. He's going to ruin it for the penis. Yeah, yeah.

You don't even care. You're smoking a cow. You're just loving it. You're so happy that you're not in your mom's care anymore.

I agree. It's a broad spectrum. A lot of reasons to rape. It's just one more bullying. One more example of people trying to get people to do things that they don't want to do. There's a lot of people that like to do that. There's a lot of people that like to be the boss. They like to get people to do things they don't want to do. They like to yell at people. There's a lot of people that would love to be a cop just so they could Yeah, a lot of judgment going on with human beings.

It's a manifestation, I think. I think everyone was in a religion, somebody would make something up. We're always looking, we look so hard for someone to have the answers that it's almost impossible for someone with a big ego to not take advantage. So some crazy dude would come along with the answers of a sudden and then boom, you'd have a new religion. So our longing, you know, it's like we have an amazing ability to control our environment right now, you know, with planes and internet and physical infrastructure of our cities, this is an amazing ability. But yet we're still trying to figure out why the fuck we're here, what is sex and breeding and what is the purpose of making more people if I'm just going to die and everyone else is going to die eventually too. What is our purpose here? What the fuck is this really all about?

And when you when everyone brings them up, you be little. It's like, yeah, man. You're depressed. You're thinking like that. You're depressed. I don't want to be you, man. Yeah, I had a friend who was a very nice guy, but he's a Mormon, and he met a Romney. He and his wife had dinner with me, and they were asking me about higher powers, if I believed in a higher power. And I said, I don't, I don't, I don't believe, I don't like this belief. I've never been proven to me, but it might be possible. And the woman actually said, I don't think I could sleep if I thought that way. If I had those questions not answered, I'd go, wow, but what if there was no answer? There really was no answer. It's not like you couldn't get them answered. It's like the answer doesn't exist right now. You don't have access to it. Everything else is just speculation. At a certain point, we have to accept that. You have to accept the fact that it is too much evidence that people are full of shit and these stories are terrible. So how do you pass the lead?

Yeah. It's always been. There's no answers. That's what people need to know. But the idea that there is no God, that there is absolutely no deity, absolutely there's no intelligence to the whole process. I don't believe that either. I don't see any evidence that there is a very distinct mathematical progression to everything in the universe. And I don't know if you can say that there's not a purpose for that. I don't know if you can define if an intelligent form of life or consciousness or whatever the fuck it is, created it or if it's just the ethic of the universe that things always get more complicated, including intelligent life and technology and all the different. It just everything will continue to get more complicated period. That's how the universe works. I mean, that might be it.

No, agnostic is you don't know. You don't believe there is a god, you know, there's not a god you haven't but it hasn't been proven. Atheism is a lack. It's a lack of a non-belief in a deity and non-theism.

I think you can be an atheist and still be open to something fucking crazy that no one's ever considered. It just hasn't been proven yet. I don't think any atheism is absolutely atheist rather is absolutely positive that when they die, the energy ceases to exist. They do not pass into another form of existence. I don't think people are saying that. Yeah. I think what they're saying is that I don't buy religion. I'm not buying the God concept. I'm not buying the man in the sky. I'm not buying any of that. I think that's what they're saying. And then agnostic are kind of like writing the fence on that. Yeah. I didn't want to piss people off so they're like, well, who knows?

Yeah, I think that's what the one thing that we are, we're an animal, but we're also the next stage of animals, where we're aware of who we are, and we contemplate our existence. And when you contemplate your existence in your intelligent life form, you should always be seeking to improve. If you're always seeking to improve, the thing that you look at, like, what has brought me the most positive results? So it's kindness, it's kindness, friendship, the connection with human beings on a very positive level where you build up like a trust in you, you have a warmth and friendship and you root for each other and you share in each other's bounty and you build together. You know that we all know inherently in our in our heads that kindness is like one of the best gifts you can bestow another human being whether it's giving them food when they don't have any or helping them out or hooking them up or doing something to help them just or being around them and and complimenting them and whatever the fuck it is we know that inherently that feels great. And we know it. We know that that's the next. We have to figure out how to use our resources together so that we can be like that all the time.

Yeah, I think it's always about doing what you actually want to be doing with your life as far as if you have an inner creative expression to get out. There's a lot of people that always wanted to be singers and they just for whatever reason never pursued it. Yeah. So they just sing around their house and they always wonder what could have been if they just tried to be a singer. That's one form of, that could bum you out. That's one form of a roadblock in your life. The depressed feeling that you didn't try, that you didn't try to reach your potential. You didn't go after what is intriguing to you like we all have almost like a beacon that pulls us in a certain direction with some people It's nursing some people. It's construction in architecture being a parent for some people for us it was stand up. Yeah, it's really simple. Yeah, and it's like there's there's something The happiness that's involved in pursuing your inherent desires is unappreciated. People think, well, all you have to do is find a career. Yes, all you have to do is find a career. But I guarantee you there's one out there that you really really want to do. Yeah, that's just like I want to be famous. Well, that's what I was going to say.

Yeah, it's managed madness is what it is. You have, you've traded the whole universe How dare you keep that thing on? Is that the law? I'm going to take care of it, don't worry. It's a managed form of madness because the whole world has changed and now everywhere you go people will know who you are but you won't know who they are and when you start becoming famous it's like one out of a hundred. Then it becomes one out of ten. or one out of three. When your Tom Cruise, it's everybody. Yeah. You know, I'm not everybody, but it's enough that it's weird. Yeah. It's enough so that your reality shifts and then everywhere you go. And people have their own, also, they have pre-determined perceptions of you. That's why you work. You know, whether they can or it's something they read that you said or somebody who met you and you know, oh, he was it.

It can, it can, if you're not an analytical person. I think the most difficult person to figure out always is ourselves. And I think most people, at least, don't have nearly enough inner dialogue where they sit themselves down and go over all the different shit that they're thinking and doing and being hate. Most people don't understand their own mind. And if you block shit in your life, if you, I've seen it so many times with guys that are in the closet, guys around the class that are gay and they become like huge boosers and they're just blocking out this part of their brain because they're living their life in this like tortured state. I think that's a big issue for people

Yeah. Wow. I find you, you know yourself better when you don't have secrets. You know how bullshit in your head when you don't have problems.

Well, one thing is I got an isolation tank. And the isolation tank, there's never been a bigger tool for me for in terms of like a personal development than the tank. Because you know, the tank is you completely alone only with your thoughts. And there's no way to distract yourself with activities, with chronic masturbation, with fucking watching TV shows, with a flipping through channels late at night where you really should be sleeping. There's no way to distract yourself from your innermost thoughts when you're in there. There's nothing there but you. You don't even get your body in there because your body's in the warm water. It doesn't feel the water after a while. There's so much salt you're floating. So in that environment, you're forced to take a lot of your ideas head on. And like, this is a correct thought. Did I do the right thing here? Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. Let's examine this, you know, and then as you Look at things objectively, it's like you're sort of forced to grow and in that environment, the environment of the tank, which is just another form of a psychedelic experience. It's a psychedelic experience that is natural. It could be done when you're stone cold sober. You just climb on in and if you've done it for a while within an hour, you're in a psychedelic state. You're in some crazy, hallucinogenic dream state.

Well, a lot of my anger had to do with the way I was raised. I hadn't seen my father since I was like seven years old. And I always thought that that didn't fuck with me. But then as I got older, I really truly realized it fucked with me. And I didn't really kind of understand it until I had a few psychedelic experiences and kind of looked at the source of, you know, a lot of angst and a lot of like anger that I would have like, You know, I would be guy would try to be nice to everybody, but I was already on a trigger. So if something happened, you know, where someone did something rude, I would over escalate almost immediately. I would be ready to take them to fucking full on war. Can I immediately?

Yeah, great check. This is, I'll tell the story how this happened. We went to some club, okay, I don't want to say where she worked, but we, we, Greg and I were there, and she came over to talk to us. and said that she had a room for rent in her apartment. And she needed to find a roommate. And then I was like, I think Greg needs a roommate. I'm Greg's looking for a room.

And so she walks away and Greg was like, holy shit. I want to be living with her. Oh my god. Look how fucking hot she is. I go dude. She's fucking hot, right? And so then I called her girlfriend before we started dating. We just met her. We had just met her. So then I called him the next day I go, dude, your new apartment is fucking awesome. Eddie. And you go, what are you talking about? I just, oh, I just fucked that girl in your new apartment. It's amazing. And you were like, oh, so we had like a little thing where Greg kind of liked this girl first sort of, and I fucked her, and then he was living with her. And it was kind of weird. And there was one night where she had told me that you were talking shit about me. And it really hurt my feelings, because I couldn't believe that you did it. You, she had her period. And you know, we were like 21 years old, whatever the fuck it was. You know, you say stupid shit back then. and she was like miserable and she would have bad periods and you came up to her and you confronted you look if you're this miserable why don't you just fucking leave him you know like really what are you doing here this is what she told you yes which told me and then she told you Greg I'm on my period that's why miserable And I was so upset. I was like, wow, I can't believe he did that. I mean, she was hot, you know, and you're living with her. I get all that. I get all that, but I couldn't believe that you said something to her, like bad about me, you know, because in my eyes, I'm a very loyal person, and when someone's my friend or my friend, and I would never go to a friend's girl, but it was a very complicated situation. You know, it's not healthy for a heterosexual guy to be living with a hot girl in a relationship. John, ready to do it too. dead it uh but let me so so anyway I go on this gig and the gig was terrible it's a fucking awful gig and it was a long drive and I did not have a good set and I was coming back and I was with her and you know she had just told me this thing that you did and I was so fucking mad I couldn't believe it I was so fucking mad and we went and got ice cream And I went to the bathroom and I came back and I opened my ice cream and Jennifer was eating hers and my ice cream bar had a bite taken out of it. Ben and Jerry's piece pop and it was Greg had taken the bite out of it and so that I flipped the switch and I threw the ice cream at your face about a hundred miles an hour and I don't know what I said I don't know what I said I don't know what I said but I remember I went into I wanted to danger zone.

I'm pretty open minded dude. She was living with another guy at the gay guy and I would go with him.

They're not, but it caught me.

It was a lot of situation. And there was a few other things that made it. A few other things that were leaning into that confrontation that wasn't anything bad that you did. It was sort of an attitude that you had taken with me. I don't know. It was weird. There was a resentment thing. I'm pretty sensitive to it. I think a lot of it had to do with living with a girl.

You would get pissed at that. It's because I loved you. I just didn't want to see you back off. when you were at your best, Greg Fitzsimmons would have these sets, and you would have a bunch of really well crafted jokes, a bunch of good things, and you have one thing where you just went over the fucking edge completely, and the comics would be howling, and I always knew I was like, if he can harness that, if he can figure out how to, I mean, you have a sick fucking sense of humor. So when I would see a pullback like to do a Letterman set or pullback to do like any of this stuff, I'm like the only reason that exists, is because there's someone trying to sell Toyota trucks or tie. The only reason why censored TV exists. So this idea that it became clean and clever, I'm like, what is clever about cutting out the most fun aspects of life and homogenizing it so that four-year-olds can watch it?

No, it's not that. No, you just said it. You didn't really. No, no, no, I didn't. It's not that I didn't respect the writing. It's not that I didn't respect the discipline of it. I know it's it's more difficult. It's a more difficult path. It was that with you, I always knew you had a sick fucking sense of humor. So it's like, oh, it's like gone back to time. Yeah, don't pull. Yeah, don't pull away from that. Are you crazy? That's like what makes you unique. That's what makes us howl in the back of the room. Yeah. I mean, it's it. We're not laughing because we like you and it's not funny. It's like you would say some really dark fucked up shit. And they didn't even ever use that bit. But they won't use me now for Boston comedy.

That's hilarious because I always felt like that it was always the opposite with people that the people that were dirty were especially back then in Boston. They were the one who pressured pressure to clean it up. Yeah, Oliver Keith Lee that's all he ever used to tell me you got to clean it up. You got to clean it up. You said 10 bucks in 10 minutes. Yeah, I cleaned it up. It was always like, oh, like I'm taking some sort of a shortcut by doing things that I'm actually interested in talking about. So you saying that I think that that I looked down on you for for cleaning your act up or trying to go to the professional route. It wasn't that it was never that it was that I didn't want you to stop doing the other stuff because the darkest shit was the shit that would make me laugh the most. And then when you're like, I can't do that, but anymore, I'm like, you're crazy.

I would go, I look at these clever.

I just remember something you did that was fucking brilliant. This was back in the day where there was like, maybe it's somebody that heard the jerky boys, like maybe like one, you know, one of their CDs were out and like they were like really kind of funny recorded phone calls where they would fuck with people. Greg did one where he called in a car rental place and you did it. It's on my seat. This extreme extreme Boston accent for years. For years after that, I'd go, it's on fire.

And they looked at it in a different way. You know, there was like guys who looked at us like being clever with good material. And then there was guys who were like knocks, who were like a lot of people would like, they would look down on them. They looked down on that material that silly party guy sort of. It was Luke Holler.

ours with the first fucking names on a lesson and we were standing there like Panthers waiting to see if we were going to get on yeah we're not boasting we really did drive to Rhode Island all the time to do free sets yeah yeah constantly to the point where they would hold it over ahead right now maybe you might not even get along remember that dude Charlie was creepy about that yeah Like hold it over your head. Hmm. I don't know tonight.

I mean you won the bad guy. No, just he shouldn't have had that power, you know, and there was just a that that whole little comedy scene in Rhode Island was very small. It wasn't, but remember that one fucking really funny guy. This was your fairy Eddie.

Well, which one?

Any galvan. Any galvan? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What was it? He goes up.

He beat a guy to death with a stick. But the tree limb. Yeah, I don't know what happened. I don't know what what it was over.

Yeah, I remember that. I remember when he got out. I remember when he got out and he started wearing a gangster suit in the hat. He was a good functional comic. He knew how to get the laughs.

Boston and we saw him clear the room clear the room it was you and me and McCarthy and I'm a couple other guys maybe it was Todd Parker he might have been with us like a Sunday night yep and and Hicks went up there and he went on after Larry the heart of it's drive yeah Larry yeah I know Yeah, like comic on a Harley. Yeah, Larry Norton. Larry Norton. Larry Norton. So Larry Norton goes up and he's doing like cartoon characters. If they got high, this would be bugs, but if you got a really simple shit cops and don't, you know, like, like really like softballs. He's lobbing a match, right? Killing. He's killing. and hex goes on and just eats dick right away. From the moment his very first joke he's like patient with his, you know, like what he's gonna say and thinking about things, he just goes, and there's some weird points and the crunches gets up and fucking chunks. And so maybe forty five minutes into a set forty forty minutes into a set he's doing this bit where he's he's playing John Davidson and John Davidson gets fucked by Satan John Davidson used to be the host of that's incredible and John Davidson is getting fucked by Satan and he swells up in the offseason and shits out Haralda Rivera. He becomes pregnant with a demon seed and it becomes Haralda Rivera and he shits it out. And he's like, on a toilet, shitting out Haralda Rivera and he's grunting for like fucking two solid minutes. Maybe more. Like literally, no words. Not no words, no words, no words. And then he looks out with the middle of the people just getting them and throws, he goes, yep, it's usually clear his room. He goes right back to it. and it was just you and I and a couple of the guys in the back of the room howling laughing maybe 50 50 people stayed and you know what did next seat like did it see 300 maybe yeah about that 200 plus people got up in the left and we were howling and I just remember we we sat I think another time we went to see him it was at the annual comedy connection and we actually got to sit in the green room for you know 10 15 minutes nothing but small talk but the fact that

He gets a shit from a lot of people because a lot of his ideas are so commonplace today that people go, well, he wasn't even doing comedy. Some of the stuff isn't even funny. But what they don't understand is that like every fucking comedian, your stuff gets dated in time. You know, it just, it does. It loses its good. It gets replicated again and again. Well, Lenny Bruce, a lot of, you know, even Hicks' premises were like really similar to Lenny Bruce's premises. Like, Lenny Bruce premises was that people don't, he doesn't understand the cross, you know, years from now, people are going to be running around with electric chairs around their next. And then Hicks had won about, you know, it's like going up to Jackie Anassus with a rifle pendant, you know, just thinking of John Jackie. Yeah. I mean, there's similarities, but what Hicks did was completely change the way people did comedy. Like all of a sudden, people have comedy that would make you make a point. And like, there would be parts of it that would be funny, but there would be parts of it that would set up the funny by pointing out how fucking preposterous so much of this shit is. Yeah. And it's like, it was a different ride. It wasn't that Don Gavin punchline every fucking three seconds bang bang bang. It was a different ride.

And he figured out quite early that that was the way to find your real audience, because only performed their stuff. And eventually, everybody else leaves Jesus, this is terrible. And then your people come. Well, Carl ended that too in a way. Sure, I'd be guess, but he would become famous already.

And at the time, that's what everybody was doing. And what he had done was run into Kinnison. And then Kinnison completely changed his act. In fact, when I first saw Hicks, Hicks was doing a lot of Kinnison in his act. Much like you realize when there was a few guys that would do a bunch of guys that would do Boston guys. That would sound just like Knox. Oh yeah. And they would do it just because there was confidence in sounding like a really funny guy. Like a guy that you respect, there's confidence in it. And when I first saw Hicks, it was years before that set. Maybe a year, year and a half before that set. The first time I saw him, he was doing like a sort of a bit of a kinescent. Like he would even make the noise or like we'd do like the walking dead. He would roll his eyes and it said, make the same noises that like kinescent would make. And I'm like, wow, that's really kind of close. Yeah, yeah. Doesn't you know we've seen can I say?

He had a touch of the mannerisms. He would replicate. Yeah, that's what I mean. The mannerisms.

Yes, a lot of young. I stand hopes. Yep. You're right. You're right. A lot of standoffs. Yeah, there's one time I was listening to this fucking guy on a raw-dog radio. And I couldn't believe it. I was like, this is a fucking stand-hope clone. I was like confused, like maybe stand-up at a cold. Is he a son, sorry? No, it's a different guy. Does he sound like stand up? No. I'll find him here. It's your olive garb, is it? It's your olive garden. He's even so sorry.

I think that we're both, uh, well, we kind of abandoned it. I mean, I didn't really, we didn't speak that much after that for a while, but it never came up again. It wasn't like it needed to be discussed, but I'm glad we did it.

No, there's no plugs. We can keep going. I'm glad I'm glad we got it out of the two, but though, you know, we actually worked together in the Mancho as well, you know, and that it came up, you know, because I had had an issue, you know, and then

There's no way I could hold a grudge that long. A and B, you're fucking talented. It was like it wasn't even a thing. It was like man, should we work with it? Of course we should work with them. You're funny guy. You had a funny shit that I didn't even think could be funny and became funny that the dead Ted Williams sketch. That was fucking brilliant. Frozen Ted Williams was awesome. That was like it turned out to be one of my favorite sketches because I don't give a fuck about baseball. So I was like, you know, I don't understand it, but it was great.

It was a disaster.

I was working way too much. I was doing fear factor and the man show at the same time. And we had all the sudden, they had completely changed how they were approaching it. Like, Doug and I got completely hoodwinked. We thought that it was going to be like, they literally told me like, you know, have nudity will blur it out, swear will beat it out. You can go wild. If we get sued, it would be a good thing. We could use the publicity. I'm like, let's get fucking crazy. I'm like, let's do it. You know, Stan helps in. I'm in, come on, let's go. We're going to fucking change the man show. And then once we started, that doesn't sound like the man show. That's not the man show. That is not how the man show used to be. Like, they had never had power. I found out that Jimmy and Adam had given up the power so that they can have creative control. Yeah. They didn't, they look, look, you could, you could, you could own this fucking piece of shit. Just leave us alone. Yeah. You know, just let us come up with our own style. Like, they had, they had had to give it up to get creative control. Yeah. That's why it was good. Because once you get in there and you remember what it was like, it was nuts.

One of the big things was Joey Diaz.

Everybody would go crazy. Zoe was comedy central executive crying. Why you tell me why is that funny? That's not gonna be funny with this is not what we want to do with the show She was literally in tears at my first fall. There's no crying in comedy period right? There's no crying in comedy. That's fucking ridiculous and second of all You know, I know I understood her point of view. She's intelligent woman. It's offensive to her. To her, it's not funny. She wants well scripted, you know, well crafted, you know, really clever pieces and bits. That appeal. I understand. I understand. However, when a fucking 350 pound fat cube and guy with a baseball hat and timberlands comes running out as balls are like grapefruit and no ladies pantyhose and his dick is big and it's flopping around on his giant belly. You cannot not laugh. when he's going let's get this party started so I we made a deal I will do it your way and then we'll do it my way so we did it her way nice big thing big cheer everybody gets crazy we start the show okay take two we do the second time Joey Diaz comes out naked in the police falls apart people are still giving him standing govacians and cheering and Joey's dancing and then he brings us out and it was perfect. That was the beginning of many, many problems that we had. I should have never tried to do a show at the same time as doing another show. On top of that, I should have never tried to do someone else's show.

Amazing. Look, it doesn't happen. Not a talented people, obviously. They figured it out there.

I think in America, it was so distant. It was a distant memory in people's minds. There was this English office. Like there's a giant chunk of the population that had no idea. And the people that were fans of the office tuned in at a curiosity and the other people tuned in after, I've heard it's really good. I heard it's really good. It's like, you know, it was not known enough.

Yeah, it didn't work. You know, we should have done and we should have, we should have, like, after the first time didn't work, we should have said, listen, we should just, the only way we could ever do this correctly is if we just stop calling the man, show. Yeah. It becomes a new thing. Yeah, because you can't say that's not man show and especially remember when Janet Jackson's nipple thing happened we got fucked we lost like half of our monologues we lost like a bunch of bits we couldn't do now. Oh, because everything tightened up everything People don't realize that that stupid stunt had a big impact because the dummies that run these networks, they just don't want to lose their jobs. So they'd go into panic mode. We got to react to this giant attraction thing. You give me anything you have that can cause us trouble because now the microscope of the media is going to be, you know, people are going to be like peering into like every single show, looking for anything that's, you know, possibly offensive. While this whole wave of indignation washes through the nation, because someone saw a woman's tipped during the dinner hour,

It was weird too because Gianna sort of took over the show and he became like the voice of it, you know, he was the mountain man. He's, you know, he's a fucking executive producer. He's got to listen to the networks. We should never try to do some of the else's show.

It's funny shit too.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One of the things that came out of that was a Doug and we're doing mushrooms the day, the war broke out. We sat around the studio's house in the desert. We did mushrooms and that day. It was like right when we were planning to do the man show, the war broke out and they were they were showing that they were going to be beginning war coverage at 5 p.m. Yeah, and stand-up goes holy shit. There's a kick off. And we're tripping balls in the desert. Like where you could barely focus on the TV because it's become a soup of pixels. You know, it's not really the TV anymore. Wow. Yeah, that was an interesting time. That was a good time, but I definitely shouldn't have done it. I'm glad I did it, but I shouldn't have done it.

How did that happen? How did it come to that?

No, no, I like this. This is really what I should have been doing all along. This is the most fun podcast. It's just, you know, I mean, what are you providing? You know, when you have an hour television show, you're supposed to be providing entertainment. You're supposed to be providing some sort of a release. I think I'm better at entertainment doing this than I am at all that other stuff. Yeah. I think writing. I can write. I know how to make sketches. I can make funny stuff. I absolutely can. It's fun. I enjoy doing it. I enjoy this more. And between this and stand-up comedy, those are like my two favorite things. The only reason why I ever did acting is because they gave me money to do acting. I had to do acting because I did MTV and I got a development team. Also doing a pilot for a sitcom. I never really wanted to be an actor. So it's not that appealing to me. And then when you hang out with them, you realize, well, there are fucking weirdos, man. We were fucking pretentious, self-absorbed, strange fucking people, man.

Oh, everyone's trying to be this, this same person, the person that is, everyone that, everyone accepts, you know, the person that, you know, everyone, everyone's liberal. Everyone is like, you know, thinking about going vegan, you know, everyone is, unflappable.

And we were we were to disconnect. Yeah, I've met people that are obsessed with success, but they're varied. There's there's a fucking sameness to the actor. Doosh, there's a sameness to them that's shocking because it doesn't seem to exist in other things in people that there's like people that develop like a hardness if like they're they're in the financial business You know, there's like a cut-throat aspect to like you know stocks and bombs and treasuries and there's there's like similarities, but they're there anymore Yeah, the actor is like one thing you know it's like strip club DJ hey everybody dances on the table the big girls coming up they all have the same voice yeah strip club DJs have the same voice and actors have the same when you are saying something I was thinking about this the other day it's not all

Yeah, I only got into acting for money, you know, and I don't, that's not what I started doing stand up for. And once I realized that I'd make a living without acting, you know, I kind of shyed away from it. I didn't act at all for like 10 years until I did Kevin Jamesman with the zookeeper movement. Yeah. I had done anything. Like 10 years. I just don't stand up. And acting is work. That's a job. Stand up is not a job. Even when the hard part coming up a new material and putting together a new hour and, you know, it's trying to structure it and, you know, and worrying, you know, how are you going to feel time? How are you going to start? You don't don't forget anything. I want to go up and note stuff. Fuck. Okay. I got it. I got it. Yeah. That's still, that that kind of work is nothing compared to the work of doing somebody else's stuff.

Well, we were talking more playing pool about bands that just no one even wants to hear any other news shit. Yeah. But then other bands every time there's a new, you know, blank album, you know, people were interested. Like the Rolling Stones released an album recently. Did you know that?

I don't know. Somebody told me that the Rolling, I should be sure before I say that. Well, frankly, it's got to do one and I can't wait to get it. I heard that it's good. People have been saying But it's good.

Yeah. That was a great song. That was, uh, remember Brian, when we were in Phoenix, that was like the theme song for Phoenix, and we did just come out. It was so good. We're like, play it again. Play that shit again.

Subcategories. It doesn't have it. I'm looking at their albums and how.

How many guys get to do that voice? There's a lot of guys that make a living doing that voice.

You threw up with that.

He grew up like looking at it.

We kind of talk radio to be done.

You remember that? That was like the only time audience members could interact before Twitter. You know, now people can fucking shit on you. People used to be able to catch you on the phone. Yeah.

Yeah. They'd be able to call you hop like, oh, we're going to go to the phone calls. Oh, they're bubbling with anger. Yeah. You know, you could pretty much be filtered from most of them unless you went on a few shows.

Well, Greg, I should preface this by saying that Greg. Greg is one of those guys. Well, every now and then like today or yesterday, I got a message from a who the fuck is this guy? Some guy on Twitter that's given him a hard time.

I'm gonna get off my lawn. Yeah. You actually will fucking you'll engage them.

Yeah, many, many. In Boston at that stitches didn't some guy come on stage. Yeah. And you got an a fist fight with them. They separate you. Everything is separated. And then Greg comes up with my goes. All right, who's next?

You're not, you're in the audience. You like what up, thank you. Yeah, I remember I had a joke about Roswell, New Mexico, about the UFO crash. Yeah. And about how the government, they're printed in the paper. I actually have the day's newspaper, the Roswell Daily Record. It's print my house in a frame. Yeah. And it said, we have recovered a flying disc. The government says, you know, this is the first captured flying saucer. And the next day they said, oh, it was just a balloon. I go, what about the aliens? I go, those are Mexicans. Apparently they were up in the blue and they were drinking so shenanigans took place. They thought it was a pinata. This chick stands up at the communist door. It's like

I go. Did you even listen to what I said? Like, I'm not even making fun of Mexicans. I'm making fun of the government. Yeah. For a lame, you know, excuse for this crashed UFO.

Some people are so stupid, just the word is a hot mess.

And so apparently I'm gonna hate you for you.

Well, I found that colleges were more PC and more like restricted and censored than anywhere. People would get upset if you would bring up anything controversial.

and just real facts about humanity that people don't want you to talk about when it comes to a bunch of different race. It's fascinating. It's part of what's interesting about life is like discussing what different people do in different parts of the world.

Talk radios lower than us.

Is he? That's awesome. That guy's hilarious. He's a professional troll. What's he been up to lately?

Actually, our bills AM are ready as well. Our bill. Yeah.

Well now you know they're doing a lot of sports is going to FM now sports talk because people want to hear sports talk but young generations don't even tune in the AM they just don't they don't even look yeah so it's like AM is just losing listeners people dying off yeah the only time I've ever put on am is to hear a sports game which is rare because I don't listen sports for traffic and news like if you're in your car or like shit I need to know what's going on because they always have like that every ten minute I only used to listen to when Art Bell was on. When Art Bell was on AM I'd be coming home from the Comedy Store at 1 o'clock in the morning listening to Art Bell. talking to some dude who just got here from Mars. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hard-bought the best fucking show ever for driving by yourself late at night, you know, because it was always something fucking UFO shit or cloning or pre-park ass.

Yeah, yeah, but it was nothing like that on the air, you know.

Well, didn't he have a guy who called and said that he was in Area 50. I'm calling from Area 51. And then like at the end he like yells and hangs up the phone and like saying that they fucking captured and we're trying to tell him where they all the UFOs are and all the security that we got down here. We have seven craft. I can't believe I'm telling you this, but there's seven, seven disc shape crafts.

Hang up the phone.

Well, I think there's a place for this, you know, and this isn't the ultimate thing to sit when you're home with your girl and you want to watch something on TV. You don't want to sit and watch a fucking podcast, you know? I mean, that's weird to sit and watch conversation. I think you maybe want to watch a movie or you want to watch a sitcom or But for times, especially when you're doing boring labor, you know, like your fucking stacking boxes and shit, like there's a lot of people that are listening to this right now that are working jobs. And they either have an iPod on or they have a little, you know, a player somewhere where it's, you know, an MP3 player or whatever the fuck it is. And they're listening to this while they're driving their cars, listening to this while they're on planes. There's a place for this form of entertainment. You know, that's why I really don't have any desire to do anything else. You know, I've thought about doing other different sort of TV projects, but really the best thing that I do is like this and stand up. And then the UFC, that's like enough stuff. Yeah, yeah. It's like the venture off into more acting as well. It's just pretending.

No, you can't you cannot know he's right for president.

Yeah. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads.

Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little iTunes ads. Those little Yeah, you know, so for me, I like Stitcher. I like the fact that it gets to other people. Some people don't like it because it can mess with your iTunes or your ratings, your iTunes numbers. But we're always in the top 10 and we have every way you can get it. You can download it as a free MP3. You can have it through it on RSS feed. You can have it through Stitcher. You can have it through you stream. You can have it through Vimeo. You know, we have it on iTunes. We make it as readily available as you can get a copy of throw it up on Torrance. Who cares? Do whatever you want with it. It's out there.

It stays like they have done a service for me and they've distributed to me for but you can do that service but I'm already doing that service and they have expanded my market they've they've given more people something that I do and have a great product that I do for free anyway and I only do I mean this this I only do it free so if more people get my free podcast good so if something's making a couple bucks selling little ads in order to distribute my podcast that's what it's worth to them

But you have a different sort of a take on it. You know, my take on it is not based on I didn't have a thing that would pay me based on downloads. That makes it more sense you'd be pissed.

Yeah, you know, that would actually be a thing. If you could work it into that'd be the best solution. Like, listen, I still have additional downloads outside of iTunes. Can we incorporate it? Yeah, why would you, you should in my opinion, because they're still legitimate listeners. Yeah, it's a good point.

We cannot have another artist. I don't know.

But it is an important point that you're bringing up, and especially what you were saying that you were getting paid by the download. And I didn't I didn't have any experience with negotiating with them because to me it was nothing but a good thing so I didn't get to experience the lying or the whatever you say you experience I didn't get to experience that because my take was right away was like okay good then now more people can hear yeah yeah we have hundreds of thousands of people that listen outside of iTunes for us it's it to have the more distribution that way the better

Yeah, I mean a bunch of guys are doing different things like Marin. I know has a thing where you can't get his old ones unless you. Yeah, premium listeners. Yeah, premium, you know, you get that. That's smart. Yeah, I guess. I think he's done really well with that. Yeah, but it seems to me like you charges someone for something that you also have for free. Like why not just have a for free?

I know what it seems weird like you know like the old ones they have to pay for the old ones like what the old ones. Well the old ones and to get all your stuff like it's it's if you want any of it free I just seems to me that it should all be free.

Well, what we started doing is Brian started that desk quad network of podcasts just for that very reason when I was telling you about it, the pool hall. To try to expand, to use the popularity of this podcast to promote the pop, you know, to make that more popular and sort of launch all these little different guys off into their own little podcast world. And, you know, because of podcasts, a lot of our friends are like making a living now that we're making a living. That's great. like, they've done it.

They loved to come see it. Like Joey Diaz apparently they did a gig up in the upstate New York. Joey got a standing ovation from the entire fucking room. They just went, they freaked out. He's a star. That's amazing. He should have been like that a long time ago. He needed something like a podcast to really let the audience see who the fuck he really was. The day that Whitney Houston died, I put a, I said an honor of the, the death of the great Whitney Houston. Here's a video of Joey Diaz talking about selling coke to her. It's a, it's not the day she died.

I totally should have done it. I totally should have done it. It's so rude. Did you get a lot of shit about it? No. No. Look, if that was one that everybody saw comment. I mean, that was ridiculous. I mean, Whitney Houston had that TV show with Bobby Brown. Do you remember? Yeah. Oh, my god, they would scream at you. Yeah.

You remember when she would, they would be. I said they'd be screaming at you. I didn't say they'd be screaming at you, but you can't even say that they'd be screaming. You can't talk like that. You can't. You can't. They'd be talking like woo! Yeah, you're not allowed to. You know what to say that.

Our vocabulary slowly being diminished. Yeah. You know, someone talked about the Jeremy Lynn incident where a reporter got in trouble for saying a chink in his own ear. I know.

That is what you say. It's not true.

Because then you have to say, if the guy was just trying to be cute, yeah, that's the kind of a douchey thing to do. If the guy was just trying to, I mean, he's never really going to admit it. He's not going to say, look, I was trying to be cute. I got caught. Yeah. Whatever I said, James. He's a Chinese guy. You got it? You know, but people people were upset enough that that guy like he got suspended, right? He got fired.

Well, he was probably trying to be cute. If he wrote it, actually wrote it down, come on. You write things you think about him way more than just saying.

I said Kamakaze this weekend in Japan during the fight and was totally accidental because the guy was losing but it's okay Kamakaze is not like in Japan saying Kamakaze in Japan is not like constantly a chink. It's like that those are like they were revered warriors. They risked their lives like they're they're they're brave. Rest them done. They extinguish them. Well, they're pretty sure they're anti and they were correct. But there was a dude who was losing, and I said, look, he's losing. The only way he's going to win this fight is if he goes just fucking Kamikaze Adam. You know, I didn't even think about it until somebody wrote it online. I can't believe Rogan said Kamikaze. I guess what I would say is what I would always say. You got to just go kill or be killed. Just go in there, dive bomb on him.

Well, Harvard, do you mean you can get shot and stabbed anywhere near Harvard? Yep.

Burkley is good now. Yeah, but it's close to Oakland, right, isn't it?

But that's not what it is. It's just preparing people for work. Yes. I mean, it's sort of discourse in argument, but it's also preparing you for work.

I couldn't imagine even existing and going to school in the age of the internet. It must be so fucking different. I know. It must be so different because you can't stop anybody from Googling anything at any time. The teacher can't be full of shit. Everyone has to be checked and the information is passing so quickly.

Whatever. I think MIT offers the offer a lot of their lectures available online as well. Yeah. Like there's a lot of like you can literally get I mean there was like the education joke in the was the movie with. got him and madame and and uh... strip t's now that the fucking the Boston boys show me that show me the apple for an identity good uh... who's the one a married uh... uh... uh... janiff a little bit after that but now ban it what goodwill hunting goodwill going out Remember, you know, he's talking about his Harvard education, and he was just joking about, yeah, he'd get that with a library card. Yeah. No, no. Yeah. Get that. Get that education. No, he was the comic book.

I mean, I'm sure it's just more competitive, right?

And it's yeah, and they're most likely all gonna be successful as well as they get older. And what's really interesting is those guys that get into like secret societies when they're in college. Oh yeah, skull and cross bones. Yeah, that's real. That's fucking real those Ivy League schools like really high-end schools the Illuminati all send their kids to they really do join secret societies. Yeah, like the skull and bones

It's an origin-based click.

Yeah, yeah, it certainly is.

You have to have some sort of a base of education. You have to be able to express yourself in the world. You have to be able to understand things. But once you get to a certain point, when you're 17 or 18 years old, you have an idea of something you want to do. You know, if you want to be a gymnast, you want to be a professional gymnast or a fucking bike racer. It's not going to help you to learn Roman history. Yeah. It's really not. You know what it's that in fact going to do it's going to take up a lot of time. It's going to take away some of your focus.

Yeah. Prime time of your youth. Oh, you're going to learn you're going to be in a band. But in the meantime, you're going to learn calculus. No, you're not. You know what you're going to do. You're going to have a shitty guitar skill. Yeah. You're not going to be as good. Yeah. You're just not. You're not going to be you're not going to get in. You're going to you're going to like be on the outside because you have asked it.

Yeah, but a lot of people don't want their kids to be boxed in like that because then if the kid grows up and then eventually wants to actually go to college, well, now he doesn't even have the base for it. and he can't even compete.

Okay.

Okay, no, remember the name Bocees, now that you're saying that, now I remember it.

Yeah, I forgot about that. Wow. Yeah, well the fuck knows what they I mean, I didn't figure out what I wanted until I was 21 like what I wanted to do You know, I really didn't know until I started doing stand-up. Did you go to college? Yeah, I went to UMass Pasta. Oh, you did. Yeah. You finished? Oh, no, I only went for three years. I only went because I didn't want people to think I was a loser. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know reason why I went. It was just a barely paid attention

Yeah. And it was weird, you know, I was, you know, I would be taking classes and, you know, I would, like, one of them was a weird sociology class. One is fucking guy. I'll never forget this guy because he was from Haiti. No matter what we talked about, no matter what we talked about, what we talked about, the philosophical works of Leonardo da Vinci, whether it was anything it was. Buckingherty, what we would do is we would say this, and he would always, no matter what the fuck we talked about, so that would became like all concentrate on, was how many different things this motherfucker can connect to Haiti, because he always wanted to hear himself talk, so I think he was learning English, you know, so he wanted to. While Buckingherty,

Well, this is the new well he would wear a tie suit and tie in college. It's crazy Yeah, that's not anything.

You know, someone needs to develop a much more unconventional method of teaching people, where they're truly can go towards things only that they're interested in. And now you've got all your mathematics and everything already. Let's let's this is instead of, you know, learning about history, learning about what what the fuck do you want to learn about? Yeah. But let me tell you something. This is what that will qualify you for. Get really good at that. What do you interested in? You're interested in this. Okay. Well, let's take it down that road. But some of you don't even get that opportunity, you're forced to fit into a hole, whether it's a round hole or a square hole, whatever it is, you're forced to conform to become whatever the fuck that hole is. And then, you know, when you have people that were like that girl, Jennifer, that I was dating, had a restaurant hotel management, that was her main. Yeah, that's right. and that poor fucking girl she went from right on a college to working 16 hours a day every fucking day she was always exhausted she was always broken up and that's what she had to look forward to all the people in the restaurant hotel bar management world those fucking people would work for a salary always salary no one got paid overtime and your work was never done you were doing and you spent four years not doing that so you're behind the people that started doing the same shit

Yeah, that used to be the way it was with martial arts. So the ultimate fighting championship sort of came around. Everybody was learning this old style of of of doing things where it'd been it already evolved past that. Yeah, it should have been should have been in a completely different stratosphere, but everybody was holding on to the traditional methods and no one was exchanging information.

Well, the most significant guy's voice crazy because he was the guy that won the first ultimate fighting championship and he won it in a way that proved that a smaller man with more skill could defeat a bigger man. Because that was always the goal of martial arts was like the Bruce Lee thing where this little guy could fuck up everybody. But the reality isn't striking, that really doesn't work. Because little people can't hit us hard. They just can't. I mean, a little guy who can kick you in the face, yeah, I can hurt you. But the reality is most fights end up on the ground. And the little guy might throw a kick and slip because the fucking beer bottle fell on the floor and there's water everywhere. Yeah, you don't have the footing to throw fucking wild head kicks in the middle of a bar. But when push comes to shove in your tangle and you go to the ground, then you have to understand how to grapple. And what the jujitsu that Royce Gracie had when he fought in the UFC was Brazilian jujitsu. And no one here knew what the fuck that was. Dude's had no idea what that guy was.

Well, no was the Denver Colorado was the first one. Okay. You know, was put together by Horian Gracie, who is, uh, Huis' older brother, who's a lawyer. It's a very smart guy. What year is this about? 1993. Yeah. And that changed everything. Because my whole life, I had been a striker. I had done kickboxing and Taekwondo, it was all striking. And this was the first time that I had seen, like, what could happen with submissions. I'd wrestled in high school, but I never really pursued it at much after the one year in high school. I'd never learned any chokeholds or anything like that and learned in seeing this guy just dismantle people on the ground. He was like, holy shit. What would I do? Like all these other guys, these big strong guys getting strangled. What would I do? He's strangled me, too. You know, it was the indescapable conclusion. I saw it. I was like the indescapable conclusion is if you didn't know what this guy knew and you got let him get a hold of you, you're fucked. So he changed it the most.

Yeah, because it came on Fox. It is completely up the profile. I mean, is it a success that it's seed? Yes. And Fox is really enthusiastic about it. They have a big long-term deal. And they've seen the UFC develop over the years. And it took a long time before they got interested in, but they got interested in it at the perfect time. Because the product is so developed, the brand is so developed, the fighters are so high level now. I mean, the referees are great. Everybody's safety is at the all-time high as far as, like, Broadcasting is state of the art. It's easy as fuck. That's the easy. Well, it's easy because you love it and you know it. It's very easy. Yeah. It's a it's a fun exciting thing to do, but it's like for me. It's it's as natural as can be.

Yeah. I don't feel like the guys enjoying it. It's that like it's him. Yeah. Right. Yeah. I know what you mean. Yeah, a lot of people didn't win that world of sport. That's a bullshit world. The sports world is full of shit.

Too many guys who have basically the same type of talking. What we're dealing with here, you know, they have that artificial strip.

They have that on showtime when they do strike force. They have hot girls and interview the fighters and they put together, you know, they do a good job. They put together some questions and they feed them to her and then she, you know, she knows a little bit about the sports, so she could banter a little bit if she has to, but the most important thing is she's hot. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Can you find a look at it? Mix it up a little.

Yeah, I got lucky with the UFC and then I got in before it was ever big. I got in like.

That's a weird thing that people do when they believe that somehow or another, if you talk about children, like all of a sudden you've fallen into this salt cell out, like really pacified, sort of wishy-washy, sort of stand up, like you abandoned the possibility that anything could actually be really funny on having kids. When in fact there's funny shit that happens all the time.

Maybe it's the hormones in the beef. It could be kids are getting way bigger. They're 100% they're bigger in control.

I'm kind of good dad. You raised them well. I mean, that's that's a good sign.

And it's fucking scary and I'm trying to think how do I hide it from you don't have to you just be a great dad you don't have to look might you're using about as I was too late I'll have you back getting older there was always these old martial arts guys that were around that were treated with great reverence Yeah, you know, you could easily kick their ass. They were old and broken down, but you never thought of that because you had always developed great reverence for them. As long as you develop, respect to your kid, your kid's never going to challenge you. You don't have to deal with that shit.

Yeah, it is a little bit, but you know what, you just gotta calm that down by letting them know that you're on his team. Yeah. And letting them know that everything that you do to discipline him is only for his own development. It seems weird, but you went through it just as much as he's going through it. Yeah. And it is hard because it's the dad and I don't know how deep you are into that part is like I feel like I have to be that you know it's a role you know there's a balance there's a union in the gang and there's a mom and I know dad and just the way it is and you know you should be I mean my point of view is you should be as loving as possible but the shit stops with me you know and you know that's how it's always supposed to be that's how it is in a fucking gorilla colony Yeah, when when when everybody's going crazy and fucking swinging off trees and the grill goes everybody settle the fuck down. Yeah, all right the man's here. Yeah, we got this. Let's calm down Yeah, you could learn a lot about parenting from the dog guy.

No, no, no, no. He heals them in the gut. And if you did it to me, I'd punch him in his fucking shit. Yeah, you kick. It's a kick. Yeah. Well, you know what though? The reality is that no people don't want to hear you have to be physical with dogs. You know, I never hit my dogs, but I used to raise pitples. And the one thing you have to do is you have to dominate those motherfuckers. I used to slam on their back. I used to mount them and bite them. Yeah, I'd bite their face and yell at them because if they growl at you a little man you have to cease and assist that when they're a puppy You have to make sure that you make them know that you are you are dominant over them, but you're loving to them Yeah, you do you control them like listen bitch. Well, do you ever fucking do that again, okay? Yeah, we good give me kids, can we kiss? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My friend had a fucking miniature picture and this motherfucker bit the shit out of me once. Yeah. We were watching TV. I was just sitting there and the things snuck up behind me and just jacked me in the back. No. Oh, yeah. I don't know where. It was a creepy dog. We've never heard of that in my life. Come out to you in the couch and just fucking butt here. Fucking crazy. I don't know. Oh, it was a mean little dog. I don't know what happened to the little dog.

They held it in the red away. Yeah. But I'm like, dude, you got to lock your dog up, man. Your dog's a biter. Yeah. Like, punctured skin on my back.

Yeah, and now we start taking jujitsu now keep him away and you Yeah Start lifting now.

It's just a weird emotion to feel Yeah, you know my friend Rick has two kids that are a 20 and 18 now and he's like to get both of my hands Yeah, like you just that relationship with him fine.

I think there was a lot of because I said so got when we were growing up. What the fuck? Give me a goddamn X. And now I think, you know, because enough generations get through that where you say, I am not gonna do that stupid shit when I have kids. I'm gonna respect my kids intelligence. I have like long conversations with my daughter about why it's wrong to do this. And this is what's wrong, because when you do that, I know you feel like it's right, but you heard other people's feelings. And you should always avoid hurting other people's feelings if you can, right? Right. And then we'll have a long, long, long Nobody ever did that with me? Because I fucking said, so go to your room. And you know, that's what we got when we were kids. There, nobody was educated on how to psychologically properly evaluate and how to raise children. Because their parents grew up in the fucking depression. When you had a mic, my grandfather used to tell stories about breaking rabbits next. How you break a rabbit's neck to put a pot to make rabbit stew. He was like, Jesus, you ain't a rabbit. The fuck was wrong with the world back then. I know, but my grandfather living on a farm, you know, as a young boy in Italy. Yeah. So what you had to do?

Catholic guilt is like the East Coast's main curse. Yeah. It's one of the things the most fucked up about the East Coast is the wave of Catholic guilt that is just polluted all the consciousness of all the different people there. Yeah. And think about what our grandparents went through, man. I mean, our parents were raised by our grandparents. Our grandparents lived in the dark ages, essentially. They lived in an area with no fucking television. There was no nothing when they were children. There was no nothing. There's the written word, and occasionally you would see a photo of somebody. Jesus Christ, imagine what was like growing up literally at the turn of the century, 1900.

And my grandparents, I don't know what what what generation you are. Yeah, mine is well mine. My grandfather came over from Ireland on my father's side. My grandmother on my father's side came over from Italy and both my grandparents on my mother's side came over from Italy. So everybody took a fucking crazy chance and jumped in a boat when across the ocean. So they were not dead.

People told you stories. Yeah. You have to see a picture of what New York City looks like. They took a fucking chance like animals like them.

it's crazy and you if you've never seen the gangs of New York most people don't know what Manhattan used to be you just kind of assume somehow that it was always the city yeah big buildings no it was craziness it was a nutty village it was really that's a feudalism

That was really what it was like back then. And it's an amazing thing to watch. It sort of puts the whole idea of settling this country into perspective, because most people can't really wrap their heads around how quickly the United States has developed. The idea that 1776 it was formed, that's nothing.

There was nothing here a few houses, a few fucking log houses here and there. And then all sudden in a couple hundred years,

I was like, holy shit. 200 years. Yeah. And 200 years, it went from that to 1776. Yep. For to 1976. 200 years.

I think it has to do with poverty in general. I think you have to address poverty from the standpoint of children being raised in poverty. Children's, children's being raised in the bad community. I think children being raised in poverty and neglect is always the big issue. If you don't do something about those kids now, you are essentially going to give them no choice but to become criminals themselves. If they're being raised in the environment, they imitate their atmosphere, everything around them is bad, everything around them is negative and neglect and what is happening? There's got to be a way to get to those kids to get to those kids and help them through something where it helps their parents or some sort of a community outreach. But the idea that people at the top say, why should I give them anything? Fucking single moms just wants to have more kids. Well, but don't you don't it's near root cause that that single mom with someone baby Yeah, yeah, obviously someone fuck that baby a bad that it became a grown adult that just shits out kids for welfare money Yeah, like what we got to do is get to them when they're babies You got to them when they're babies and help them help them other help it for the sake of the humanity as a whole as a super organ selfishly

Yes, absolutely and on your safety. Your economy and your safety, investing in the infrastructure of inner cities and building the bad neighborhoods and turning them into better neighborhoods and giving people chance and hope and giving them a possibility of positively contributing to society. So instead of being a burden, there's something that nobody wants. Yes, they do want a group of happiness.

yeah so some some sort of a community outreach with me then you know you've got to have things that help people get off drugs just for a fact there's going to be people that are fucked up and they're not going to be able to make positive decisions because they're on drugs and if that's your environment if that's your community if that's your neighborhood it's within your best interest to clean these people up yeah it's

Is what, what is that treatment? Treat treatment, not incarceration. Yeah, not judging people and not, and the more things are illegal, the more people are going to do those illegal things. It's always been the case. And at least if you had the legality, you could, first of all, it could, should always be a social pariah and you should boycott any fucking company that would profit off the sale of those drugs. They should be the, the, the, the, the, the, the, any drugs that you sell to fuck people up the negative stigma should be the punishment enough you should be disassociated by society if you choose to sell something then it's gonna cause people to fuck up their lives yeah and we all know that there's drugs that do that we all anybody selling math is a piece of shit it's 2012 we've got

Well, that's also when you changed as a person when we were young, you got much more serious about your careers. Wow, when you quit drinking. Yeah. you know you you went you were the first guy that I knew that you you handled it great because you didn't you didn't waver at all you're like look I can't drink I drank I get fucked up I can't handle it period I don't want to be a loser I'm done and you did that when you were like twenty twenty two

So you're not a stranger when it comes to the pulls of addiction and the idea that it could ruin your life and think what if you didn't have to stand up? What if you know you were in a pit of despair with a shit job and no future aspirations or hopes? You know, nothing on the landscape. Fuck man. You need an option.

Well, especially as an artist, I mean, and I hate that word, you know, him and I'm an artist, but putting out something that you create that people enjoy, they love it. You know, people like podcast, like this, like your podcast. People, people love the fact that they can get some enjoyment out of this. Like when I go to, I don't even podcast, I really subscribe to other than a few of my friends. style from Desquad and stuff is the psychedelic salon. My favorite podcast is like this guy, I think his name is Lorenzo. Lorenzo is the guy who runs it. And he puts all these really interesting lectures like Timothy Leary lectures and Robert Anton Wilson and Terence McKenna and every week there's some new really cool fucking interesting lecture by some really educated trippy people.

And when I look at my iPod when I think my iPod I'm like Oh, look, he loves you. You get excited. You know, it's like now I know what I'm, you know, in my car, you know, syncs up with my car. So I'm driving around and listening to it. And it's a, I love that. I love that. That's a treat that you can, you know, get for free. And it's something good.

And for Brian and I, it's a particularly satisfying because we didn't have any aspirations at all. We just, we started it off. You could see the first ones still available on Eustream with a laptop is terrible. It's unwatchable, right?

Hey, you dirty bitches. What's up? What's going on? I read someone's tweets. Yeah, dude. Yeah, we're coming to New York. I remember that.

I took a shit in the middle of the podcast, yeah. I said, I got to take a shit. So Brian, you talked to them.

Well, it's that's the real evolution of the podcast is available for everybody saying so we we I always knew that I always wanted to do a radio show, but I always knew that I would never be able to do a radio show like there no one would ever hire me to do a radio show Yeah, and I thought maybe when satellite radio came along like I was I became pals like right when center radio launch I became pals with open Anthony and then it was like, you know, hey, we have a channel, you know, we'd always love to put you on the channel But nothing ever really happened out of it and there was some talks and nothing ever took place But then once I started doing a podcast I was like, oh, this is it Yeah, like this is way easier. This is and now like I've got all these people coming on like all these interesting people and all these like like like like bands like we had B real from Cyprus Hill yesterday. No shit dude. We've ever lost from the house of pain. He's done it before and his band Honey Honey is on next week and then Sam Harris the the neuroscientist who's the the the atheist author and lecturer oh yeah he's coming nice fucking brilliant I'm so excited about him coming on but it's like we've been able to turn it from you know what he what it was supposed to be you know was just us fucking around to what I really should have probably been doing in the first place

I try to avoid that. Yeah, I think, you know, people love what you love. And if what you pursue, if you pursue what you love, then people connect to that and they can appreciate that. I can appreciate that, you know, even if something that I'm not really into, what I love is someone else being into something. I love seeing people's passion and honesty. And what you get from a podcast, you don't get from anything else. There's no restrictions on time. We don't have to cut to a commercial. There are the thoughts never have to be interrupted. I mean, we didn't decide how long we're going. We've been on for like what? Two hours and 40 minutes or something like that. What? Yeah. Yeah. Shut up. We do that all the time. Yeah. We do that all the time. And they just go on. And that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's that's You don't get an opportunity to have those kind of conversations. And especially with someone that's in the public eye or someone that's a comic, no one gets a chance to really get to know you like they do in this form or like they do on your podcast where you're constantly communicating with them. When they've heard you communicate for a hundred hours, they fucking know you. You can only hide so much.

Oh, that's where that was.

It's all you're gonna do. Oh, that's where it is. Like you're thanking them. I was thinking maybe. But no.

Just go away from come on man. You can't you're already busted. I found a vulgar and bottle up your ass. You're a freak.

Oh, yeah. Don't touch this pussy. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it. You're talking about it.

Yeah. It's variable.

I try to stay away from porn when I first had kids. Yeah. Just because of the idea of the daughter that would eventually become someone that's someone's baby. You know what? I can't fix it. It is what it is. You suck a dick and remove it. Yeah.

Who do you want? Audrey. What's your what you see?

Yeah. Yeah. What looks hot. Whatever's nuts. Yeah, I used to have like, like, types, but I don't even have types anymore. Yeah. You never know. Just click around.

I want a steady diet of Asians.

Everyone so friendly. Yeah, crying and I were, we're just talking about the other day when we got back. We were just there together for the UFC.

Good tell. The beauty of the culture is the politeness and the women are so polite as well. Manage so polite and restaurants and bars, everywhere you go. Everyone like when people run into people on the street, everyone's just like they're they're so polite. Yeah. Completely different culture than ours. Really fascinating. Like it almost literally truly is like an alien world. Like you land in the world where everybody's just polite the the language is totally different the people all like you know they look Japanese the universally look Japanese Japanese do yeah, it's amazing so you're in this new place where everyone behaves super polite very orderly like when they had the tsunamis and they were giving out aid people just waited in the middle. Yeah, patiently, politely disciplined. You know, I mean, the driver was really interesting. We had a really cool driver and he spoke very good English too. And one of the things he said was about the deal with radiation, you know, Fukushima, that a lot of people are sick. And the government lies about it. And he was like, well, the problem is that we trust the government. We don't they don't it's and they're not in the rising up and questioning the government people are into the they trust the government the government has their best interest and then they keep their eyes on their own business and they do what they have to do yeah, so there's not a lot of like this mother fucking gun we're talking to this motherfucker down.

There's not of that there. It's politeness and not subserviency, but knowing your place, discipline, you know, respect, you know, you never tried a community. You don't try to do better than your boss.

You don't try to do better than your boss.

You don't try to do better than your boss. Yeah. Calon was telling me that when you there's etiquette as far as businessmen and like say if your boss orders a certain type of scotch like a very expensive old scotch, you don't order that. You order newer cheaper scotch. You order, you don't order what he orders. Yeah.

Right? No, sir. You're sucking your own dirt. I don't hear you. You know what's up guys? You know you're losing the violent contents when you're sucking your own pee pee, but something.

You remember when one of the funniest things about doing the road was like working with black comics because if black comics were supposed to be the middle act they always had heard from the book that they were supposed to be the headliner. But if there was two other black acts, they were always, but I got, go at first. Yeah. I believe in. I got to be a gig because they all wanted to do like some of the same references. Like with road hacks, there's like black road hacks had so many stock jokes. Yeah. There was so much, like I didn't see this many white people since my trial.

Times have you heard that?

That was a thing about Boston was that Boston did not tolerate hacks. We were so lucky that we came up in a time where that shit was ridiculed. Yeah. When we would go on the road and we would work with road hacks. All rules are off. You guys fucking. Yeah. Look at what you were doing. They would do anything. Fucking.

Hey, I don't come to your job and slap the dick's out of your mouth. That was just a jam in your pocket. There was a lot of tools that we had, like especially as young scrubs. It's like almost like what you had was a scaffolding that allowed you to put together your little comedy house. This is really good now, the structure to do it on. On its own, it wouldn't hold up. So you had it. So I'm saying, the guys in the background going, I fucked your mother. And I'm like, dad, no one cares.

You remember those normal afogigs that we used to create it? Yeah. Jays and pits field and oh my god.

Western Massachusetts is a trip. That's why UMass Boston or UMass Amherst rather so beautiful. Yeah, that Amherst town is amazing. It's just really cool fucking town in the middle of nowhere in Western Massachusetts. And there's so many towns like that where it's like what has brought the town together is essentially just the college.

Wisconsin. Yeah, exactly. I think in Nebraska. Boulder, Colorado. Yeah, there's a lot of places like that.

Yeah, comic history, comic method. Yeah, essentially a PhD in stand up, you know, master.

You're Grammy. Grammy. Grammy. Grammy. So talk shows or

Are you in LA some word? Are you in Ellen Besties?

Did you ever want to be like to make love to her? Yes. We only just think about that, like that's gotta be weird.

Did you ever see her Mac? You ever see her put her girl Mac down?

Yeah, really. Wow. Oh, did you sign it in on disclosure when you worked there? Yeah. Oh, you shouldn't be talking to me right now. She's an awesome person, right? I love her. Love her. Love the show. Love everything about her.

Yeah, I love watching. Yeah, you know how to good one man or I just wonder what ever happened in the guy Rick do come in.

Rick do come in was fucking funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, some good shit. Yeah. It was always angry at everything. But it was a different kind of anger. He was like, he leave the microphone in the stand. I remember that because like all my guys like my favorite comics like prior, kinnison and George Carl, they always carried the microphone. But he would leave in the stand. I was like, wow, he's angry with it in the stand.

He was a funny guy, man. I always wondered, like there's always a few guys that like, they were really funny at one point in time and he like, where's that guy? Where's that guy? I know.

I watched him one of his first sets back. He still had it, but it was weird. Watching the guy put together a new act. And now he clearly knew how to do stand up, but it was like you could see him like doing it going like that. It was really kind of interesting.

He has seen him go on stage with his first ideas and not knowing where they're going and and trudged it out on stage and not have it work at all.

home rewrite that's a great idea for a show dude you should pitch that you know that the thing is though that very few guys actually put together an act like Louis does like every year yeah like to have people do it like that but if you force comics to do it for a show that's going to the end of it you do a special in the end of it they all do a half an hour it's an hour and a half special you follow three comics over the course of a year and over that or six months say six months for thirty minutes of material that's like that's plenty of time that's fair it's a yeah You know what, really, you could probably do it in three months if you really have another one.

So I go for some things. Yeah. Right. Well, unless you could come, I mean, you could, you know, put pace it out where you come to them, like once every couple weeks or something. Yeah.

Yeah, I could put three, you follow three, but you're really follow six and you use the best three. Right.

Yeah, some like real, last comic standing shit, because you know what I didn't like about last comic standing when they forced those guys to start auditioning in front of like two judges. Yeah. We do their act. Like what the fuck is that? That's not even stand up. Yeah, if you really want to watch them do stand up go watch them do fucking stand up you're making a guy tell jokes to you give some dignity yeah, and you're trying to do this whole the what's it's name from the the English guy straight out English guy star search Simon Simon.com and doing the Simon.com bullshit they're like trying to be like please enough that joke is never going to work You know, they're doing this like harsh judgment thing because there's a lot of people like, you know, I don't think that's the way to, so I think the way to fill a stand-up show is not in front of a live audience like that. It's in front of a bunch of live audience. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Have a reality show where you fall and stand-ups where they're putting together a special and then at the end of the whole thing, they actually do their special.

The only problem though is then the people are going to know the material. So really the best way to do it is because you're going to court it in advance.

Yeah, you couldn't do it live. No, but you could but you could do it that way where you watch a live audience responded that material and you see how that guy's developed it and you really appreciate it as a as a person who enjoys the craft of comedy. You know, let's write it up. Let's write it up. I'm gonna pitch it. What we call it?

I think we call it

I like that. I like that. Because that's essentially what it is.

Comedy from scratch. That's perfect. You nailed it. That's it. That's the name.

Yeah, but you won't we're limiting ourselves if we give them topics. If you just let the guy explore, then you get to see where he's coming up with his material.

Well, you know what, you know what, you disqualified them from the show if they do, say listen man, you can't lie about this. If we find out you're lying about this, you're fucked. Yeah. We want, you know, we want all new material. Yeah.

Maybe how about this? Maybe there's there's three comics, right? We want them to have five new topics. Each one has five new topics.

But they have like a fucking big wheel and they have to reach in and pull the topics out. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, like we spin the wheel and you reach in. What's your first topic? Yeah. Marriage. Oh, shit. Yeah. And then there's also the pitfalls of hackery, like how do you avoid, you know, like this subject's been done, you're, you have to do a joke about women's tampons. I'm sorry. Yeah. You know, that, Jesus Christ. Do a joke about buying women's tampons? Is that what you're gonna do? Price check, price check, tampons, I'll five. I mean, is that? How do you avoid that hack?

Okay. Yeah.

Greg actually bought a Prius because we we have a conversation before he goes, I go, I go, please tell me this is your Prius. He goes, yes, it is. We're walking on the street. There's no idea what's the virus. Yeah, living in Venice.

Well, they did a thing on top gear where they had a Prius and an M3, and they sent them around a race track. And the M3 actually ate less gas than the Prius did when it was driving around a race track.

That's where you save the gas. Yeah, but now when I'm dropping it.

But what he wanted would Greg really wanted was that one of those spiffy new Dodge challengers.

They sound good. They fucking look great. The shape is satisfying.

Meanwhile, Prius is filled with conflict minerals. I mean, Prius has lithium ion batteries. They're getting those from fucking little kids picking up minerals for the Congo. It's terrible. There's nothing, there's nothing good about the way they construct those fucking things. The only idea is that using less gas while you actually use it.

Motherfuckers KP from a challenger. That's a man's car. I know. You're gonna appreciate when you hit that gas and hit the rumble of VA. You feel it. Yeah, it's a car. It's a man's car.

You're off the menu. She's looking at a priest driving with a bitch.

Yeah, there's certain things. You don't want to ever see a girl do if you're gonna fuck her. Papa's it is one of them. Take a shit's another you don't let it burn the butt hole. Yeah, you don't watch them shit. I mean, I at this point in time, you know, yeah, but you know when you're a young man, I have a friend who was in love with this chick and he came over her house and he lifted up the toilet. I'll take a leak and there was a floater and he couldn't fuck her. He was like it was done really. It was over. It's like 20 when you're 40 you just flush it for then you hope she why I'm 20 she could take a shit on my balls. I mean nothing would stop me Shit on your balls actually that would be now that now I'm gonna find that site you've you ever dated a girl that was into like weird shit like she wanted you to piss on or anything crazy.

I never would do this slapping thing, but I've choked the fuck out of some chicks.

Yeah. I had one girl that won a wrestle before we fought. We'd always wrestle. Like push me. She would push me. I'd come over her house and she would, what? I'd go, what? And she's like, I'm going to fucking wrestle. Are you serious? Like what are you talking about? And she'd push me. She goes, you know what I'm talking to. I'm like, okay, what is going on here? Like what are you doing? And she should go, what are you scared? You scared of getting beaten by a girl. And then we'd be in this little wrist fight thing where she'd be grabbing my wrist and shit, then I'd have to just manhandle her. And that's what she wanted. She wanted to just get dominated.

Fuck yeah. Got crazy. Yeah, she would almost well it essentially was she wanted to get raped by somebody that she wanted to fuck Yeah. That's what she wanted to do. That was her thing. But it's, I go, this is a very confusing. You know, we were talking about it. She would tell me, I'm talking right me. She was crazy. Wow. And I go, listen, I don't want to rape you. Okay. If you want me to fuck you as if I raped you, that we can do. Okay. But I want to know when you're fighting me off, that you want me to do this. Like this is confusing as fuck. Yeah. And I don't want to develop any taste for this. Yeah, I know.

And by the way, it took a while to get this out of her. When we first started dating, she was like super normal. Like it came. It was, it was like, it would took some time. Yeah. We got to like what she really liked. Wow. It was really weird. It's like, I actually got a little bit more comfortable with me. She would like, you know, like, want to arm wrestle me or something. And it was real weird. Yeah. It's over the course of a couple months. That's a pretty quick thing. I was just fucking throwing her around dude. Yeah. It was ridiculous. I would be like hoister up in the air and like toss her through the air and shit.

Yeah.

It wasn't Jennifer.

She was a nice girl.

Yeah, that's a weird to put your mind into that place and then to trust it to not actually rape the girl.

I was afraid that if I let it out I couldn't stop it. Because it's in every man every man is some chimpanzee inside of them. Chems are just raping each other left and right. They love it. That's what they do. They love to rape. So you get some pussy. You got to take it.

What other things you were talking about when we're playing pool that I totally agree with is that people aren't afraid of being punched in the face anymore. No. And that's a problem.

Basically. We're a species.

What is it about someone that's talking loud with a convertible in a bluetooth that's so offensive?

Right. It's not necessary, right? You know, if you do have your fucking car and you answer a phone call, you're like, dude, I've got my top down right now. And I stopped and let me put the top on a query right back. Yeah. Right.

You don't talk to someone on the phone, you mean?

Okay. Do you really always? Hell yeah. Do you text when you're at a dinner or a restaurant?

I'm very addicted to technological communication, whether it's Twitter or texting, or it's very hard for me if my phone's in my pocket and I hear it vibrates, I know I got a text, I almost have to read it.

That's not good. Especially when you're having a conversation with someone at a restaurant, you really shouldn't be texting people at least. I avoid it if and whenever possible. I'm ashamed.

It's an interesting thing, you know, because we do have this weird disconnect when we're right in front of each other. Like this is the ultimate is to be right in front of a person and communicate with them. Meanwhile, you're sitting there exchanging text words with someone who's nowhere near you. While there's a person right in front of you. And they feel less important. And less is something like fucking super important and really what is. Yeah. Really what is. I know. What is why you're having a conversation?

And I love the fact about the iPhone, if I look at my phone, I get the message right there. I don't even have to read. So I know help call me right now. Okay. There's something going on. Yeah. But what's up, bitch? Oh, I know that one's not important. Yeah.

We got to, we got to end this because if it goes over three hours, I tuned shits on itself and doesn't know how to handle it.

Yeah, did. We got to do this more often. That was flat flew. How do people get your podcast? I know it's available on Sirius on Howard 101.

Oh, the radio show. Yeah, the podcast. The radio show's different. The podcast.

Beautiful. Good idea. All right, man. Um, and so people know how to get you on Twitter. It's a fits Greg fits show on Twitter. That's it. At Greg fits show. Yeah. Thanks for coming. Hey, man. My pleasure. We got to do this more often. All right. Joe Rogan Experience podcast is brought to you by the flesh light when I thank the flesh light for being the first sponsor of this proud pod. We wouldn't have been proud. What are we? I don't even know what fuck we are. We're just existing. We love you. We just have to do this. Thanks to the flashlight and go to jarrogon.net, click on the link, enter in the code name, brogan, and you get 15% off. Thank you to onit.com, creators of Alpha Brain. If you're interested in any of this stuff, just go to onit.onit.onit.it. There's ample information. Any criticisms we've had about that information to pass. It's all been reworked. It's done in the proper manner as far as scientific studies. They're in the middle of doing a double-blind placebo studies at an accredited university right now. So this is a real supplement. I love it. I take it every day. It's a new tropic. If you don't know when new tropics are, I suggest you Google it. New tropics. N-O-O-T-R-O-P-I-C-S. And what it is essentially, it's nutrients for cognitive function that increases your brain's productions of neurotransmitters. And it helps you function better. Your brain works smoother. It's not going to make you smart if you're stupid, but it's interesting stuff. Google it, check it out, go to onit.com, check out all the different stuff that we have available and enter in the codename, Rogan, and you will get 10% off anything you buy from now until eternity. Thank you everybody for tuning in. We appreciate the fuck out of you as always. Please come to CS at the Brea Improv this weekend Friday Saturday and Sunday. They'll be me, Duncan Trousal, Orange, your fear, and Brian Redbans can a drop in and fucking show his shit to. Right, Bella? Yeah, you freak out Saturday. I think Saturday's gonna get his freak out. All right. So good times are coming. It looks like it lands up for 20 April 20th at the Tabernacle. It looks like that's where I'm gonna be doing my special. We already sold out the first show. We're gonna add a second show eventually shortly soon. And that's it for more information. Go to Joe Rogan.net. This fucking podcast is over.

Well, there's no ending song. That's it. That's it.