Transcript for #556 - Bryan Callen

It's sure I haven't even got a shirt on that says the kid. Whatever, the case you were wondering.

I like how the fighters in smaller font because he gets more letters. You guys based it on like what's what's an even trade. Did you weigh the ink? Yeah, we weighed the ink.

because the fighter is nice and long, but the kid.

You might want to look into someone who actually makes t-shirts. Because that looks like a fucking junior high school kid did the tape brush. That was the idea. That looks like his heart clasp. You didn't give a fuck about passing.

That's what I'm talking about. Is it supposed to be like kung fu movie fun?

I love all these things. I love both of you guys, but that is one of the least creative t-shirts I've ever seen. And I love that end thing that the little fucking weird thing that stands for end. You know, what is that thing called? Is that an ampersand? That's what I thought an ampersand was in A, like a pound, like with the A that's circled.

At what is at what is the asshole? That's true. No, no, no. No, Astric is the star, right? Yeah, what's that? I'm trying to make T shirts for my, but which one's ampersand? I don't know. Well, let's find out ampersand. Um, ampersand and yeah, okay, Jamie's totally correct. So ampersand is the that's the end like fighter and it's a weird little symbol. It's just like you sure. Yes, you do obviously right there, man, fighter in the kid and then that thing over the tea. You just look at it. You need glasses, bro.

That could you could reach it better.

Okay, but we're not in Israel. What's it called in America? It's just like that. It's just an act science.

Yeah, that's one of those ones that like didn't have any play for like hundreds of years. Yeah. Like, what is this useless fucking thing? Stop trying to bring things back to you. You would look at like the before Twitter and Facebook and all that shit and like in the name and nothing. You fucking never used that thing on the keyboard on the typewriter that was a useless goddamn key like who the hell needs that and thing and you would ask like what is that? It's some shit you'll never use me while some shit everybody uses now everybody's fucking Twitter handle. I'm not how many people are all changes.

Well, you really should say pound song, right? Why is it get to be hashtag? It's the same goddamn thing. Yeah, I said it had a different connotation. What was a pound science connotation?

Yeah, press the pound time. Okay, that's all but they say the pound side but then all of a sudden hashtag came along. Yeah, what are you making corn beef? He's sling in sling in hash. What kind of hash is this? This is weed hash tag.

What's the origin? Someone's going to send us a link on Twitter, I'm sure. The origins of that word hashtag.

What if a bunch of bad motherfunkers, a bunch of bad ass big dick South Africans came in and just fucked everybody in that town. Dominated, came in with billions of dollars of cash. Who'd be interesting if there was a way where you could restructure an accent, just a few dominant alpha chimpanzee males with a strange accent, you know, strange South African accent. Like if there was a way like some bad motherfuckers could move into an area, Well, if everybody would want to be like them so much, they would start talking like South Africa.

Well, it is kind of weird that the lift is considered to be odd. The one strange sound that you make, but revolving the ars is considered to be flamboyant and beautiful. Like if you say someone who speak the Queen's English of course, but we have like categories, we'll put like this is a sound that you should make. And this is a sound where it's fucked up. It's not like it. And it's all based on our control. See, the list, the issue with the list is some people cannot control the fact that they make that sound. So they're not trying to lift. You have a very difficult for them to not lift. But so because of that, that sound becomes inappropriate.

That's why it's a weakness. If you roll these hours on purpose, then it sounds cool. He's not doing well, but that is. But if you roll your arms because you can't stop like your arms.

This got a little bit of his own. I don't like to whip ass and that's a different thing than I had a thing. But yeah, the arms are slippery, right? Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. Roll. What if it was without it was a disease, you know, instead of a lisp, you know, it's always got a rasp. Oh, the poor bastard. Well, it can't help it to speech and better.

Stop it, sir.

There was a kid that I used to be friends with, and his brother had stutter. Poor bastard. It just fucking just would lock up, man. He would lock up in front of you, and he'd want to help me through it.

If you're stuttering all the time, you'll be getting kicked in the head. That's a good question. You got a lot of it. You got the shit going on there already. You got some bad connections. Maybe you could rattle it loose. Like you hear about those stories where like kid gets in a car accident and also they can play music.

I think he's probably scared that if he finds something that's wrong, that they might like fix it. Well, I think he's going back to being normal.

Is that what you think?

I would wonder if he would be afraid that it was purely psychological. Like, this is my, I think there's a lot of people who say they believe in God and they'll talk about the fact they believe in God, but I don't know. They believe 100%. I think they might believe like 80%. And that's 20% haunts them. They don't want to address that 20%. And when something like this happens, where is a tangible effect of a physical act and you attribute it to God? If someone comes along and says, no, you're Abdullah Mongala, whatever they've got fried. You don't have that part of your brain anymore. And that part of your brain dictate social skills. Like, if you have a hard time talking to people, yeah, well, you lost that. That part's not there anymore. So you're basing all your attention is now going to music. And if you found out that instead of like God gave you a gift, That would fuck with your head.

How much fucking mental illnesses there in this world? You know, it's something no one wants to bring up. No one wants to bring up like how much of believing in unbelievably ludicrous shit. is a type of a mental illness.

Yeah, I mean in God what they thought he was when they were writing on animal skins or can we define God as there's obviously a better look, there's a way that feels good in this world and there's a way that feels bad in this world. What feels bad? Tragedy, disease, injury, pain, suffering, violence, crime, stealing, taking advantage of robbing that. Oh, did you hear what that fuck did? Oh, this guy got fucked over. Oh, this guy got beat up. Look at this video. Fuck this guy got this. That's obviously the worst way to go. I mean, we feel that, right? but positive is like, you see friendship and you see happy kids playing and you see people smiling because they enjoy their child. Self-sacrifice. You see barbecues, you see like prosperity and friendship and kinship. You see all this good stuff and so if you just obviously if you just live your life more towards the good stuff. Is the most you can that's like a godly life. Yeah, it's like if that's a great spot for the rational life, right?

Does that what they called it the rational life?

And so romance, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. entirely upon what happened in them when they were young. It's what you're exposed to when you're really young. If you find out about the vast majority of people that commit like horrific acts, like a good chunk of them had some serious trauma when they were young. Whether it was someone sexually molested them or someone abused them, there was a lot of abuse. There's something wrong. They only have a few of them that people can't figure out. Like, you know, it was a big one that they have a hard time figure out. Jeffrey Dahmer. Yeah, well, the Dahmer apparently had like normal parents.

But that could make sense. I mean, if you look at every body type there is, look at all the different flaws that people just are born with. Like, like me, like I've, I've been a LIGO. So I've spots where I don't grow any pigment around my mouth. It has bigger hands and bread and chop. Keep calm. Yeah, I'm very giant hands-on-evolved. I've got a lot of issues. But that's probably not bad. That's probably not bad. That's just a guy gave me freaky bones. But the bad stuff is very minimal. You look at some bad stuff that people have. Like we know people that are dead. We know people that had cancer and died. We know people that are born with degenerative arthritis. You know, Sean Rouse. I'm that poor bastard. I mean, that poor bastard is always in pain. And he's a fucking funny dude, man. Rouse is funny, shit. He's really good. And he, the kid's always in pain. Every time he shakes his hands, it's like, you know, you just want to be as gentle as you can. You know, he's got a rheumatoid.

Yeah, he has got his knees or his legs. He's in his thirties. Yeah. Dude, he's, you know, he just, the, the genetic role of the dice, it just, he got fucked. And so, my point was that there's so much variation in, like you see people with dwarfism, you see people with, gigantic, there's variation everywhere, which is what only makes sense that there'd be variation in the structure of the actual brain itself. Some people are born with weak eyesight. There are eyesight sucks, right?

Here's the big question. Here's the really big question. This is the one for everywhere. This is a hard one. As medical science reaches a certain point where they understand the components of the brain far more clearly than they do now. Because like, you know, one of the themes that we've had on the show the last few days, um, I had this guy, Thaddeus Russell on and, um, He was talking about how just like a hundred years or so ago, the way people would look at certain races was radically different than the way they'd look at them now. It can medical journals and shit. The way they would describe Irish was that they were like basically like apes and they would do this in like Harvard and it was really fascinating conversation. we know now that's ridiculous right we know now that there's brilliant people from every single race and it's the big part of it is what do you expose to you know what kind of genetics are you dealing with and you know what kind of curiosity do you have in your family what what what how do you develop what what makes us your nature yeah what makes a sprinter does that disqualify him from being a brilliant thinker no it doesn't you know those ideas are there those ideas are in the past But if there was a way where they could examine your brain and go, well, this guy has no empathy. This guy completely lacks empathy, and he gets an enjoyment out of torturing animals.

They just get off on the power and they're not feeling any remorse.

Here's the question if they can spot that. I mean, how weird does the world get? Why are you going to let that guy live? Like we would all have to look at them like it's no different in my opinion than having a vampire that lives in your neighborhood. If you had a vampire in your neighborhood, and the vampire was constantly compelled to feed on human blood, how long would it take before everybody rallied the troops and stuck a fucking stake in that vampire's heart? That's a very bad thing. That's a very good question. The first day, now if you found a way to absolutely identify a serial killer, like this guy is a fucking serial killer. This guy, this is what's important to him. This is what he doesn't give a fuck about. This guy loves killing. He loves torturing. give a foot. Yeah, you just to kill him. It would be like having a vampire, right? I mean, wouldn't be the same thing.

Well, what kind of a life is

Put him in the room with a very sensible John Wayne like character who's gonna say why don't you guys step outside and you hear bang he went for my gun and Then go home. That's what happened. I would agree. I say it's spirit.

Yes, you can't you can't write a law like that because it's a constant it's inconsistent with how about this every time you experiment on him you let him kill an asshole

Well, one of the most terrifying ones was the Zodia killer because he was obviously super smart. He would write things in code. He would leave them messages to crack.

Yeah, and he never got caught. Never got caught. They don't know who that guy was. There's all these different fucking speculations. None of them seem to be 100%. They have some idea, like people say that was my dad, people said I know the guy, but whoever the guy was, he had to be above average intelligence. It's very, very smart, which is fucking terrifying that someone could be very, very smart and just want to say this. Just want to fucking help people.

We start thinking about that. If you think about needing both sides, like, is that exist everywhere in the universe? Is there a hot and a cold? Is there a, is there always an evil and a grud grud? It doesn't, does the evil make the good better? Does it make it feel better? I mean, is that a part of the whole thing? You know, it's like we were talking about people who were born in a with Roy yesterday. Roy Albany's Larry Scott. We're talking about people born into money and that when people are born into money, they're never happy. They just can't do it because everything's always been handed to them. If they don't earn it, if you don't feel that struggle of being broke, like I think you and I appreciate everything we've earned. Because when you were young, you can clearly remember that, you know, you were fucking trying to pay your bills and doing jobs and... There was always longing, you know... We're gonna jobs with you.

Your story about working in a bank was so, uh, so on, because I was 16 months, dude.

But that's how you got out of it, because your, your soul, whatever, was trying to help on your panic.

No, but I'll tell you right now, they're 80% of them are taught. No.

Well, it's there right in front of our eyes, we just want to ignore it. Like what did you just say, you have to be careful with the stress because you could damage somebody. Well, that's like analogous to working out. Like, yeah, you could hurt yourself working out. But if your idea is to just stay a piece of veal in a room that's padded so that your body doesn't ever move and get injured or get stronger shit. So that, you know, you could do a lot of things with your body. Yeah. Like, would you rather, like, not be in pain all the time and not, like, I like feeling your body deteriorating, right? You know, I don't mean sore for working out. I mean, like, when you have nothing, you have no muscle. Everything is just mush and goo and slowly gravity starts pulling towards the bottom. Well, that's what happens if you don't ever risk exercising.

You can literally build them. Yeah, I would think that with everything in this world you You can either resist and then grow stronger because of resisting or never resist and have this like a apathetic way of approaching whatever the fuck it is you're doing like everything you do everything you do is hard to do Everybody's like, oh, you know what's really hard. Making watches. You know, it's really hard. Everything that's done well. That's right. That's it's really hard. It's so true.

That's why that's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. So we're trying to get him to watch that.

Was that expression that they use? What's that expression they use? We're a guy who's just a complete master at something. I forget what the expression was. I scroll? No, no, no. It was a Japanese expression that they were using to describe how this guy who had worked so meticulously on creating this egg dish. He would remember he was making that egg dish for like a year and he just couldn't get it right. And one day the guy, you know, said you got it right and then gave him this Japanese, it's saving and find it, whatever the fuck it is, from the movie, Gerald James of Sushi.

They have this weird egg dish that they make and it has to be perfect. It's like, I'm not sure how they're doing it, but eventually, eventually after a year, this guy got it right and he was so happy, he said he cried. Shokunin. Shokunin. Yes. Shokunin. What is it? What is it? What is it? Definition. Is it like a Wikipedia definition? What is it? Shokunin. Shokunin. Here I'll go go. Shokunin. Shokunin. Shokunin. Here I'll go go. Shokunin. Shokunin. Shokunin.

Shokunin. K-U-N-I-N. K-U-N-I-N. Okay, Shokunin. Shokunin. The Japanese word Shokunin. Okay. Literally translated artists and craftsmen who feel deep obligation.

Well, I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to feel good. I think the real issue with political correctness says that it avoids intent and it ignores the complex subtleties of human communication. It ignores the reality that one person could say something How about this? You can say something one time and it's offensive and you could say the same thing when you're in a better mood and a better situation and it's hilarious. You could be in the wrong state of mind when you say it or you could say it clumsily and people don't accept it. You could say it after something that people might think it's insensitive if you said it and they're not willing to go on on the ride with you. or you can say that same thing in front of the same people in the different circumstances and they can how laughing I think of the funniest guy ever I can't believe he said that oh my god he's so crazy It political correctness implies as you apply to humor. The big issue, the number one issue is that humor is almost always about something you didn't expect or something you can relate to. And both of those things, something you can relate to, you tell me you can't relate to racist stuff like, Look, there's certain amount of racist stuff that's fucking hilarious, including racist stuff against white people. When Richard probably used to do that, you know, oh, your mama, mother fucker, my mom, she's a great old gal. That is a racist joke. That's making fun of white people that are goofy. You can't even, oh, your mama, mother fucker. You can't even say that to them at work. I mean, that's racist. Is it or is it racial? Is it only racist if a white person doesn't and racial if a black person doesn't? I mean, what is it? It's it's a type of humor.

Like Roy Nelson joked around and he had a white pride tattoo on his chest. Like the brown pride on King's chest. What would anybody be able to do? I mean, there's something to that, right? Yeah. But there's not because, of course, no one owned white people. There wasn't a bunch of white people that were kidnapped over in Iceland and thrown onto a fucking slave ship and dragged over to America.

What what kind of an uproar if you haven't seen honoring men in film? Right especially white men yeah because you could do black men right black men in film like that would be like a like a real black tie affair sure you would go there and dress in your best Put on your shiny issues, but what I said was you said that they're it's a women in film like it aren't women in every movie right they're basically in every movie crack how many movies don't have women Well, they all thank you earlier.

I mean, yeah, they've done some awesome shit. I don't have a problem. This is my issue. I don't have a problem with them honoring women in film at all. I have no problem. I point out like what if They wanted to do white men in film because I know that there would be a massive outrage. I accept the fact that people want to honor only women in film. I accept the fact that I bet for women it's pretty fucking frustrating sometimes because I bet a lot of movies that women go to are just not geared for women. There's a lot of movies like if you go and see, you know, transformers. That was that's probably geared towards anybody. They probably cut that bitch right down the middle with stats and graphs. And they probably did phone calls and fucking brought in people to analyze it. They probably cut that bitch right down the middle, men and women. They probably give you just enough mushy bullshit so that women go, go for it.

That what they were honoring. Okay, like the deer hunter. Like, here's a movie, the deer hunter. It's a fucked up movie man. Chicks don't want to see a movie, whereas Mao got some Mao! Mao! Yeah. They got the fucking gun by the head, and you know he's eventually going to shoot himself and they're playing... They're playing machine for that.

They're keep going on. It's fucking amazing movie. If you never see the deer hunter, it's one of those movies from the 70s. What does it, like, 71 or something like that?

Oh, wow. But why don't I think it was weird? Either way. It's from an era where a lot of the movies don't hold up. Yeah. Though 70s movies, man, some of them are tough to watch. Not the fucking deer hunter. Holy shit, that's a good movie. That was so beyond anything at the time. Shocking. Shocking. When he shoots himself in the head and grabs him, no!

That movie was incredible. That was Robert De Niro when he was a mother. The greatest, the greatest at that point. When Christopher Walkman, he was a mother fucker. He's still a mother fucker. Christopher Walkman, he gave him a good role. He's still a mother fucker. He still carries this creepy power to him.

The watch of romance from true romance. Yeah, that's the great scene. That's the greatest scene. I didn't really like the scene in Pope fiction. I did. I was like, I get it. The watch was up your ass. I love that. I didn't buy it for some reason. I love the movie, but I'm like, that scene is like, come on. I got out of here with this watch. I know it. Get it. It's up your ass. You know, I don't know. Whatever. Whatever. He's it. Didn't work for me. But him and true romance.

It was so creepy when he did it, too, because it's the words like the tone. It's a very originally Christopher walk-in type of delivery.

Pool hold junkies. People try to tell me that was good. Oh, God. Oh, God. It's the fucking awful. And as they say, the lion and the jungle, it's not a good scene. Everybody told me it's like this gives us great speech my girl that movie is dog shit Yeah People who still recommend it like that movie was awesome King of New York was great too when it gives us speech was amazing in that problem with that pool hall movie is no one could really play pool They're all like whack and balls around and shit like they're not they're not really playing pool You can't have a movie where you don't even teach the guy how to play pool. It's got to look at least a little bit like you can actually play pool. Yeah, this is offensive And it's just like, come on. It's so goofy. The guy who doesn't want to get the job. It's like, why do you like pool so much? I have no idea. Yeah. I learned it at a formative age. You know, learned it when what I was, it helped me transfer a lot of focus and energy that I probably would have put into bad places. Yeah, you know.

I play a lot. I got this table right here. It's a stupid thing to get good at. I totally freely admit it. Like people go, you're more golf, but you play a pool. Dude, I mock everything. I mock myself.

Pink ribbons for breast cancer and walking for AIDS. I mock it all. Everything's mockable. Birds. But birds can suck my dick. Every one of them. I mock birds. It insults me with their freedoms. I'm down with mocking birds. Get it? Yeah, I mean, I think the more I can laugh, the better, and I find the happy Ryan, like I was listening to Jim Norton on the radio today, on the opening of the show, he's telling the story, him and Jim Florentine about how Jim Norton was jerking off in the back seat of his car while they were driving home from again. No, no. He had met a girl, he was so excited. It was so funny, I was fucking crying.

He, no, no. He met her and it didn't work out. He hooked up with her. Like, you know, it wouldn't be like touch. She touched him or something like that. And then he had to go and he was so fired up that he had a jerk off. So he jerked off in the car in the back seat and they were telling the story. It was fucking hilarious. And they were telling the story. He was positive each other as balls. And it was, it was genuinely enjoyable for both them and for me. It's like it's fun. Listen, but people don't, you know, there's some people that just don't can handle.

So you have a problem with being stupid. I love being stupid. But they have a problem with it. You know what I mean? People don't like being mocked because a lot of times when they're being mocked, there's no humor to it. Or if there is a humor, it's a very mean humor. Like there's some humor that's just not funny.

Okay, but here's the big question. This is sort of the question that I had with Thaddeus Russell and we talked about yesterday was roaring too. Is this a sign of some sort of social progress that we're like springing back so far the other way that it's just it's it's rebounding like some of the lost ground that was giving up when they had things like separate fucking fountains for men, when women could get raped, no one would do anything about it, when cops would literally ask someone, what were you wearing when you got raped? I mean, all the different things that have happened, all the different times of people have been homophobic or, you know, outwardly sexist, both from towards men and towards women, that the bigger the reaction that like is happening now like this this big blowback this big politically correct left wing progressive push that may be it's just like the waves of the ocean like we were talking about earlier the end of the angle that you need the evil to have the good and you sometimes you need the good to just blow the fuck up so even the evils like okay I think the answer is yes that the wave is is pushing in the other direction however if a good direction however you got to make sure it doesn't it doesn't It doesn't get too crazy.

Also, you have to realize it's some people they use an ideology to get out their aggression and they can choose to decide that it's relevant or justified and in doing so what they are is stressed out fucked up people who have a lot of tension in their lives and they have a cause and they find a cause that they agree with that makes intellectual sense and then is supported by other people and then they aggressively pursue that cause. The point of calling people out and being nasty and vicious, what are they really doing though? I'll tell you what they're really doing. They're using a cause to be an asshole. Why? Because they're assholes. They're assholes that support a good idea and they're doing it totally the wrong way. And in doing so the wrong way and being super aggressive and ass-hole-ish, what you're doing is you're strengthening up the resistance to that. So if you're ass-hole-ish like in a right-wing sort of a way, you're going to make a bunch of ass-hole left-wing people that are forced deal with your bullshit. But consequently, if your ass hole is from a left wing point of view, and you want everything politically correct, and it's not freshman, it's fresh people. Yep. I mean, you're dealing with that kind of shit, which is stupid nonsense.

I didn't skill it out. I actually kept the coffee in my hand. There it is, not bad, not bad. But it was my Sally swing chair, which I love, is on some serious rollers. I got it. It was very little coffee.

Period. Period.

Well, direction is, here's the deal. There's, it's malleable. Human beings are malleable. Yes, they have very, I deal it. They have tendencies that tend to be exhibited in their relatives, and especially in their family. And we've known that with dogs forever. The fact that we think that it doesn't exist in humans when it exists so clearly in dogs, like Joe, the guy I bought Johnny from, the master. Yeah. He won't breed a dog if it's aggressive to people. He won't let it breathe. He'll fix him. He'll fix the male. And if it's a female, he'll get her fixed too. And he just, if anyone that's a, they exhibit any aggression towards people, done. Any aggression towards dogs, not interested, not interested, won't let him breathe. So because you've met my dog, he's the sweetest dog ever. He's so nice. He's just so gentle. Like, my four-year-old will play with them and I don't worry. And he's fucking Big dog, but I never worry about it.

Well, how about dogs? How about the dog that you used to have? Ah, came bread. Exactly. That crazy dog that made it look like a fucking dozen goats.

Yeah. And what was up with that dog? Well, that dog was being bread for fighting. That dog was a whirlwind. Yeah. That dog couldn't wait to get its teeth on something. That's what it lived for. It was hypercharged. It was like it was on 10 all the time. I loved that dog. Yeah. I'd go over here and it was a little dog too. That's what people don't realize about people. skinny big home the real pit bulls that they used to fight them where they you know apparently still do parts of the country like 35 pounds yeah that's a big one yeah they're small dogs the big ones get tired apparently like those big dogs it's just like UFC fighters like see those big dogs that are like the those super monster pit bulls they would never fight those they fight the little except for him candidates he seems never

Yeah, but for folks who don't know what we're talking about of the Yoel Romero, who is this? Todd wrestler from Cuba two-time world champion yeah he's won he's won the metal in every single wrestling tournament he entered pretty much I mean he met all he was a silver medalist in the Olympics he metled in the world cop you mean just he's a fucking freak wrestler Kale Sanders and was a greatest one of the greatest amateur wrestlers of all time you'll well-remaro beat him twice twice I mean, he has that much of a freak when you're seeming the object. I almost wish, because he's only 37 years old. I almost wish we got him when he was 27. God, you know, I mean, God, 10 years of that guy in MMA. But it was hard for him to get over from Cuba to America. But he fought this guy Tim Kennedy and for the first round, he was beaten that ass. He was beaten Tim Kennedy's ass. It was just speed and it was connection. Every time he would hit Kenny, but Kenny is so fucking tough. And he's so fucking tough. His strategy was just to make this guy work, to stay there, have some gas them out, and so he starts attacking in the sack around, and you see Romero breaking. You see him slowly starting to get exhausted, and Kennedy is just working him, constantly working him, constantly making him breathe, and then the end of the round, he cracks him. But if you didn't see the controversy on Kennedy side, there's a video of Kennedy holding Romero's glove. Pull this video up. What? Kennedy holds Romero's glove. Oh boy. But it's like there's an animated gift that probably was show it just as good. It's hard to look at and be like objective about it because if you look at just the instance where he's grabbing the glove, it clearly looks like he's cheating and he's landing a couple punches while he's holding onto the inside of someone's gloves so they can't use their arm. But when you watch it in real time, in the full context of the fight, you realized it was a fraction of a second. And there was Haymeckers being thrown. He was holding on to his arm and it just so happened that for a lot, not even a second, he had his hand inside the glove. But that's not that's just a photograph you want to see the animated gift because the animated gift he goes from that Which is he's holding the wrist where the glove is which is totally acceptable to as he's punching for a brief moment his fingers went in there But then after that is when he connected with some pretty big shots at the end of the round like I honestly I looked at it a few times very objectively I've had see what's let's play it again play it again from the beginning Oh, that's a split second. He's just fighting. I mean, not only that. This is all in slow motion. It's a split second in slow motion. Yeah. So let's see it again. See grab boom. It's like not even a second.

I think it looks like he was sliding down. He was in the middle of fucking combat. That's what was going on. He was a beast right there. Just swinging. Look at how tough he is. He's got it. He's got a hold of the glove. Man, I don't know.

It looks like, but it's a problem is it's happening in slow motion. It looks like he's really signed it. But he definitely slipped down. But one, two, I want to know how see the thing is though in the real fight. I don't even know if that was like he realized he was holding it and he let go. I mean, how much time was he holding it? Let's see if you can find the real video. He's swinging right now. He doesn't see it forget about this because this is not even half speed. We need to find the real video. Find the real video so we look at it real time. But look, I was calling it. I didn't notice it. If I noticed it would have definitely said something.

What was way more fucked up was that Romero was sitting on a stool in between rounds. They didn't make them stand up. They didn't take a stool away. There was 29 seconds between the end of the second round when he was fucking on queer street. He was on the corner of queer street and queer boulevard. He was right there. He got fucking rocked, man. He walked back to his corner like a drunk. That 30 seconds is giant. Whose fault does that? Well, you know, they said like Tim Kenny was saying his corner put too much Vaseline on him. See, that's what's wrong because it's not the corners that use the Vaseline. It's the UFC cut man that use the Vaseline. And so the UFC assigns cut man. We use the same cut man for every event. And we just, yeah, yeah, impartial cut man. I mean, certainly have friends and they, you know, I'm not saying it's impossible. It's someone would leave extra grease on, but I think they left the extra grease on his eye because he had a giant cut. I saw his cut man, his cut was huge. huge cut where his eyebrow was, like a good solid inch and a half long. It was a big fucking cut and it was bleeding. And so they closed, they stopped the blood and they put the the Vaseline on it, but that's just what they do. The thing was, John recognized the Vaseline and started talking about the Vaseline mostly because Romero was still on the stool and people were still in there. So he was correcting them already. He was saying, got to get out, get out, seconds out, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go. He's got too much Vaseline on. Like he if Romero was standing up they might have said there was too much Vaseline on and it would have taken two seconds for them to wipe off turn to them good okay fight like a few seconds yeah, but he's still sad on that stool Yeah, he sat on that stool just sat there. You know sir Tim Kennedy's in front of him going what the fuck get up like what's going on and he's still just sitting on the stool that should be it. They should have, he's John should have called the fight right there. You can't just sit on the stool. Why didn't he take the stool out? This guy doesn't, but he doesn't want to do that. See, because if he does that, then the fight doesn't go on. And everybody misses the finality of it. And they get mad at him.

Bullshit. That's right.

But you can't let that happen. And it's like you don't expect it to happen. But I guess you have to be diligent with a some corners who they know they know how to fucking get their way out of a situation. They know that they can look Angelou Dundee was on the greatest trainers of all time and when Henry Cooper was fighting Ali Henry Cooper cracked Ali with a left hook. He had a vicious left hook. Ali's legs gave out and he fucking crumpled and in between rounds Angelou Dundee realized that Ali was out to cut his gloves off Is this real time? Yeah, okay. Let's see in real time back it up a little bit Because that's that's weight. Yeah, that's good This is just a highlight reel so okay. Let's see if we can see that in the highlight reel. Boy, what's up with YouTube?

Is it really?

Well now that we have those new things, can we not use the laptop now that we have the new connection, Jamie? No.

Alright, we'll fix that man. Tell me what to do and fix that. Tired of that stupid laptop. It's funny man. laptops of a couple years ago. They just don't want to deal with all the new shit. You're a techie. What about the iPhone 6? I'm not a real techie. No. No bunny stretch. Do you have the iPhone 6? I'm a tech fanboy. Yeah. Fanboy ask. Yes. But I don't really know much. Here we go. Real life.

Yeah, that's real. Yeah. That's real time. Yeah. But that's real time. He definitely did, but he was definitely holding the glove in real time. But again, did he realize he was doing it? It's there's an argument. Could be made that he didn't realize he was doing it, but there's also an argument that could be made that he had to know when he's doing it. But he's fucking in full animal frenzy yet. There's a difference between that and not getting up off the stool. Getting off off the stool is totally 100% calculated. There's no animal frenzy at all.

Yeah, it's totally legit. Yeah, but you're saying you're just moving forward. I mean, I mean, it let's tie. I mean, if you wanted a time it, I mean, I don't think that was a strategy though.

Yeah. It's enough time to know. that he's holding it and then he lets it go. See, he's holding on to it. Boom. Yeah, but the first one was no, the first, no, no, no, no. The first one is holding where the glove is. That's legal. You're allowed to hold the glove. Well, you're not allowed to do as this, Brian. Put your fingers inside the glove. Right. That's what you see. You're misjudging it. But that's not the case. Because he's holding the glove in the beginning. So he's holding the wrist in the glove. Then, as Romero's trying to pull away, some of the fingers go into the glove for a second. But you're incorrect if you think that it's illegal to hold the gloves. So I think that's one of the reasons why people think this is more egregious than it is.

If he knew what he was doing, it is illegal. It's illegal what he did for sure. And it is in the middle of this fucking battle royale moment where he's connected. You know, holding he knows whether or not he knew what he was doing. I would imagine when you're a fighter and you're in that wild scramble for your life against a stud like you'll Romero. Yeah, you're probably in a pure animal state. Yeah, just reacting on instincts. He's been smashed in the head who knows how many fucking times in that first round and in the second round me Romero cracked him with some big shots and he's a spooky striker and then at the end he knocked him out

Then Romero knew that the round was over. He knew the round was over. He knew he was getting extra break. 100%. 1,000 million percent. He was sitting there. Kennedy was in front of them saying, what's going on? Get up. Get up. And he's still just sat there. Yep. I mean, that extra 29 seconds was fucking gigantic because after this is over, This fucking combination, boom, boom, and look at this one. Bam, that last left, and I've right hand after it's another one. Do Romero can take it like almost nobody I've ever seen. Amazing. He fought Derek Bronson. Derek Bronson had kicked him, clean. Switch kicked to the head. Boom, he ate it like it was candy. Didn't even buckle. So unbelievable. Dude, it was crazy. I totally built for war. Dude, he got shinned on the neck and just ate it. Like it was nothing. It's so ridiculous. Dude, it's so ridiculous. Cause I remember watching that fight. I don't believe I called that fight. I think that was a Kenny Florian fight. But I think I was watching at home going, get the fuck outta here. How did that guy got hit with that? He just ate it. Different human being. But he didn't even stumble. Like whack.

There's a picture of Romero with Hector Lumbar and Tiago Allen. See, it's the most preposterous picture. It's like there's so ridiculous amongst humans. What kind of genes are you dealing with? These gladiator genes of these three guys have.

Yeah, it was unbelievable man. The next Romero and Lombard. Do you do something about them Cuban jeans, man? Yeah, that's Cuban jeans are something else.

Yeah, I know. Well, there was that boxer from the 1970s. I believe his name was Teofilo Stevenson. Stevens or Stevenson, but they always wanted him to fight Ali. They always wanted to get him from Cuba. He was like this amateur who'd win all the amateur tournaments. And everybody was like the same fair because Americans get to a certain level. They're amateurs. They get to a certain level. They turn pro, but the Cubans never turn pro. So they're always amateurs, but they're being paid by Cuba. So you got these guys who are in their late 30s who've been boxing their whole life fighting 18-year-old kids just lighting them up. And that's what you had with like the Cuban boxing team everybody would say oh the Cuban box teams the best work without a doubt they're very skillful very skillful but Recognized that they're competing far longer as amateurs than anyone in America Yeah, I mean, that's just what it was and then when so in the Americans were still winning like in the 76 Olympics and Mark Breeland and Pernel Whitaker and Meldric Taylor was that 76 was that right? No 76 was Ray Leonard that was 88

Yeah, that wasn't eighty eight wasn't.

He's uh, he's coaching people now. Yeah, he um, nineteen eighty four. Okay. Gold medal in nineteen four Olympics. Yeah, he was a bad motherfucker. I just rewatch some part of it. But the point is those were all those were all kids. Those were all kids that took on in some countries like, you know, when you're facing Cuban boxers and amateur tournaments or sometimes they're Soviet Union. Yeah, they were a grown man. They weren't going to fight professionally. There was no professional fighting. You know, that was always the deal with certain Soviet boxers. But Soviet boxing is really taken off now. What's going to happen? That ain't enough. You know, it's a whole shit load of them.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, he's a bad motherfucker. I don't remember his name. I just saw him fight a few weeks ago. Can I take a left? No, can I take a left? No, can I take a left one? No, can I take a left one? No, can I take a left one? Is the middle way guy, right?

Yeah, let's see Bernard Hopkins next fight. Yeah, that Russian guy is scary, but Hopkins is a ridiculous freak. Colab, Sergio Colab, Colab, Colab, Sergio Colvalet. Yeah, he's a beast. Yes. It's fascinating that Bernard Hopkins is still boxing the shit out of these guys though at 49 years of age.

What? Yes. He killed the guy. Yes, he did. But, killed you get that. That's fact. For real? Yep. How do you know that?

Kovalev killed the man, all right. Oh, love. Kovalev. Kovalev. Wow, it's a few Googlers. That comes up really quickly. Yeah. So he's a killer. Wow. It's a hard hit. Boxer dies in the ring. Yeah, his name was Roman Simakoff. There's a video of it. And Kovalev didn't give a fuck.

That's what people were terrified of, right? Guy couldn't kill a guy and then go right back and be just as good.

Yeah, there's a lot of those Soviet guys that can just fucking crack you. Yeah. It's weird.

Yeah. And supported. And a lot of them, they're starting out. Let me see that. Is that the fight where the guy died? Pull it up to the beginning. Sometimes guys also, and this is a reality of boxing, sometimes guys come into the ring itself already damaged from sparring. You know when Shob was talking about how he's just a spar with Shane Carwin and he would have fights and he was fucked up when he went into the fight. Like he said when he fought Ben Rothwell, he's like dude, I got KO just like not long before the fight by Shane, Spawn with Shane.

Fuck yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. Yeah. I mean, guys have died in gym wars too, by the way. 100%. This guy's a murderer, man. He's, I mean, I don't mean that in that way. I'm at, like, yeah.

Of course. Of course. Well, it might not have been his fault at all. I mean, like I said, that guy could have gone into the cage already fucked up. Yep. It's very hot into the ring, rather. Yeah. It's very, very possible that he had a pre-existing conditions. It's very possible that it was from all the damage he took while sparring. It's very possible that he cut a lot of weight. It's a very, very, very popular. It's so much in tragedy.

Well, how about when Roy Jones Jr. got carried out of the ring? And now we're seeing him fight again. He's back out of it. He went to sleep.

Yeah, that's bad too. You know, that's probably as bad that thing that happens to guys when they bounce their head off the canvas. Yeah. That's just as bad because you see like when a lot of guys get like viciously knocked out. It's one of the things that that does it. I remember when Mike McCallum fought Donald Curry. I used to be a big Donald Curry fan. Donald Curry was a sick boxer man. in the 1980s. He was sick. He had just wicked technique, man. He's just through everything perfect. He didn't have like a big build. He wasn't built like a monster. He just was a wicked athlete, a really good boxer. He cut weight against the sky, Lloyd Huntington. He had a really hard time making 147. And I was back when they just did not know how to rehydrate people correctly. They just did a terrible job of rehydrating people. And so he had to go up in weight class after that. I just fought like shit. And after that, he was never really the same again. It's like that one loss, one time getting beaten up in one time of losing the confidence of being the best power for pound fighter in the world, he was considered the best power for pound for a while. and then he fought Mike McCallum. Mike McCallum hit him with this left hook to the body left hook to the chin. What? Bam. And the one to the chin just sent him flying backwards. His head bounced off the canvas. Oh, a blam. Is that Ricky Hatton? Ricky Hatton versus Baton.

You just got perfectly parted.

people are getting better. If people are getting better, it makes it tougher to hit people, but they're better at hitting people. It depends on the matchups, really. You know, I think there's less people that fight in the UFC now that have one very specific discipline, you know, and they're missing the other stuff. Like you never see those, the grapplers that can't strike it all anymore. They're all, everybody's dangerous on their feet. Everybody, I mean, they're not equal. It's not equal. Yeah. But there's a lot of goddamn dangerous dudes. It's just very few people that have that glaring hole in their game. So you can't just go in and just beat the shit out of them. You got to set them up just like everybody else. They're athletes. They move very fast and if you fuck up and they catch you with something, you can get in big trouble, especially early in a fight. So I think that people just better all across the board there's there's better athletes now than there's ever been before guys like like McGregor coming up a Connor McGregor it's fucking kids a tremendous athlete Wonderboy Thompson you see that that fine. I didn't see that fight Jesus Christ that kids good.

His fucking striking. He's been striking since he was like three. And he's all point style. His hands are down. His stance sideways. Nobody can get on him. He's getting on him. You're eating knuckle sandwiches. Oh, everything. Throw his front leg side kicks. The body throws vicious leg kicks. Throw his head kicks. I mean, he's fucking good. His 57 and O kick boxing record. God. Dude 57 and oh, and he's just starting to figure out the MMA again. He's starting to get. He has a blue belt in jujitsu his brother-in-law. I think it's Carlos Machado one of Machados' brother-in-law. So he's, you know, he's been involved in martial arts essentially his whole life. But it's mostly just striking. So now you're seeing him learn to avoid the takedowns. And once he's learning to avoid the takedowns, he's, you know, able to be much more comfortable on his feet. Now he's getting loose. Fuck, dude. Guys landed some ridiculous combinations, man. Mr. Dominic Cruz is looking pretty good.

He's very focused. You see that when you pay attention to his analysis, he's very good at analyzing, like he did a great breakdown once that I thought was really important for people to watch, pretty young fighters especially, of when Cunley knocked out Rich Franklin, and he shows like the error that Franklin made, Franklin threw a kick in the counter, like he was right in line for the counter, and he didn't move his head off the center line at all, and I'm like this is so important that someone like draws this in, he had a diagram, like one of those things, and he's like showing You know, he's like pointing to the big screen and pointing out all the different, you know, because he's always, always the side.

Of course. Yeah. That's going to be a fun fight to watch. Very fun fight to watch. TJ, if anybody is emulated Dominic style of movement, a lot of it's TJ. Yeah. But Dominic took it to a totally different level the other night. He looked like he was on Like he was from another planet. I mean, he was like that was seriously like the next level technique. Like next level aggression, next level proficiency, next level accuracy. Very good. Really. Mitsugaki's top five. Wow. He's number five and number six contender. Wow. Yeah, Mitsugaki's very good. Very good.

Yes. And while he's just lost the time, he didn't lose the title. He's left and the title.

Donald's got real-moint high. That real-moint high is different than these guys that want to be boxers who just occasionally throw kicks. His boxes is occasionally throw kicks and there's guys who have left hook right leg kick and grained in their genetics. When Donald's thrown he hits you the left kick to the lever you better lift up your left leg to check because if you don't he's coming down hard on that thigh with that chin he hooks with the left and then chops with the right and it's in his DNA dude he'll throw that straight right left hook right leg kick all day long and you will be in that mom because you're moving away from the left hook you move away from that left hook you step to your left to void the punch the coming from the chest and he chops that right leg kick right on your thigh and he does it for no reason he's timing that knee every time you go in for a single leg good luck You know who does that awesome is Jose Aldo. They called the Dutchy. They yell out in his corner the Dutchy the Dutchy because it's a classic Dutch combination Dutch kickboxing being like one of the the most talent rich countries ever for kickboxing was Holland like beyond above and beyond so many great fighters came from Holland. It's almost insane If you think a nest of hoost, butter, horry, boss rooten, Rob came in, who's arguably the greatest of all time, Ramone Decker's, who's also arguably the greatest of all time, and Decker's, and when you think Decker, boss rooten is like one of the greatest strikers to ever enter into MMA. And one of the reasons, because he had that MMA striking training from Holland. He was all dealing with high level kickboxing training. You know, Peter Aertz, I mean, just you can keep going on and on and on. The great kickboxers that came out of Holland, the training in Holland, even guys you aren't from Holland, like Tyrone Spong, he learned in Holland, he developed that Holland style, but Melvin Manhoof, Holland. Monsters. This like the kickboxing is so high level there, man, just ridiculously high level. So they would always call that out the dutchie, the dutchie, and that's that left hook left hook to the body, right leg kick. Although throws it like a fucking baller. It's crazy. It's like art form when he throws it. It's like, woo, like you just spun in the air, like he was doing a, like he was a figure skater.

Well, I'm dying to see all the verses Chad Mendez, too, man. Mendez is improved at striking, but all though is always a motherfucker man.

Yeah, well, that's why we want to see them fight. You know, it's always interesting when someone has big tasks to deal with. But the other task is we've never seen McGregor fight a guy who's a monster wrestler, like Mendez. Mendez is a super athlete and a monster wrestler. Like what happens if McGregor gets taken down? How well does he fight off his back? How well does he do when he gets clay-gweeted? Like, click, we did it to Anthony Pettas, just stuck on him like blue and driving to the ground and made a stalemate out of it. What does he do then? And that's a beautiful thing about watching contenders with various styles go at it. You get to chance to see. Like, from a strategic standpoint, there's so many variables. There's some variables in boxing and kickboxing. There's movement and different combinations you can throw, but the variables between striking and grappling and the transitions between those two are what makes MMA so fucking exciting. And some of the things that people boo at and they get bummed out about like a clayweed a stifling Anthony Pettis to the point where he can't get anything off. Those are good. You have to see though because you got to know that a guy can do that because when you see a guy like Connor McGregor was just running through everybody, you go, okay, what happens if he fights a guy who just has a lightning shot that you can't stop, like Josh Costcheck and his prime a guy who just like, like Yeah, just drives you across the cage like your fucking pillow and tosses into the air and slams you on your back. You're like, oh, next level shit. Different. What do you do? Yeah. How do you react? Yeah. And we don't know that yet. Yeah. That's one of the cool things about watching different styles go at it. You don't know what the fuck is going to happen. I mean, McGregor could hook, kick him in the face. He could do something crazy. Well, the first thing he threw was a hook kick. First thing he threw.

Very rare. Straight up, Tykwondo. Okay. I mean, Krokops thrown a couple.

Well, if you are good at it, you've got a good chance of landing it because people don't expect it. It's like this guy Larry Kelly. We've talked about him in the podcast before. He was a guy in Boston that was known to have a really good hook kick. He was known for it. Bill Superfoot Wallace had a really good hook kick. This guy Larry Kelly, back when Billy Blanks used to be a point fighter. he hooked kick Billy Blanks in the head and sent him flying across the thing unconscious. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. You can use ingrain. You can use it. Yeah. It's the same thing with the hook kick. I never really developed a good hook kick.

But it's good though. I just, I would, I, I had, you know, like, here it is. Watch this. This is crazy.

Boom. Dude. Yeah. Hook kick to the face. That's crazy. Yeah. Watch that one more time. Larry Kelly was, uh, I was living in Boston and this guy was, um, Larry Kelly is like one of the karate guys that you'd hear about in the western Massachusetts area. He was like one of the best at this style. This point style of karate fighting, which there was some boom. Look at that shit.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and he's just slid back and caught it right on the job. That's amazing. Yeah, there was a bunch of those guys who was Billy Blanks, and there was a couple other guys that I don't remember the name. There's one guy named Mafia Holloway, who was this big yoke-to-black dude, who was like super-fucking fan.

No doubt. Yeah, there was a lot of those guys. Kill you. Very, very fast. And especially, if you try to fight them at that style, because that style, what is they were lunging, they hit each other, and then they break the action up. It's real weird. It's like, but there's something good, the idea behind it is kind of silly, because the idea is really based on this notion that karate man is too deadly, to ever land more than one punch, and that even when you land, they would get people getting trouble for excessive contact. like you can hit too hard. Yep.

Yeah. Well, they're really good to have because they can say distance. What I was going to say is the good thing about the breaking it up is that you have to learn how to close that distance the best way you can. The emphasis was entirely on closing the distance and landing. The emphasis was not on doing anything after that. So once they learned how to close that distance, like with ridiculous speed, if you fight people that are used to only continue with fighting, oftentimes that's not something they're good at, because it's too dangerous. You don't just launch yourself across the ring at somebody, because if you do, you get get fucked up, man. Unless you're really good at launching yourself across the ring and being evasive and one of the best ways to do that is to learn how to play tag. And that's essentially what these karate guys are doing. And if you can learn how to play tag, way better than anybody else, that's how fucking giant advantage. And that is what Connor McGregor's doing. That's what Wonderboy Thompson is doing. What these guys are doing is they're incorporating a point style of fighting. And the people who are used to that moly tie style or a type one do style, like in point fighting, like, you know, or continuous fighting, they're not used to it. They're not used to someone who launches themselves with such fluidity across the cage. Like that hook kick. No, you would reach in. You wouldn't do that in a more time fight because you would never develop it that good because to have that as your approach over and over and over again is really ridiculous. Somebody's going to know what you're doing and they're going to chop your leg but they can't when you get so good at it because you've done it to this incredible level of proficiency. So they develop like a it's a weird and it's the same thing with Taekwondo in a way, because there's a lot of Taekwondo techniques developed because they don't allow leg kicks, because if they allow leg kicks, a lot of the shit you do wouldn't work. It was one of the first things that I learned when I started kickboxing was that there's two things that I suck at. I suck at getting kicks in the legs and I suck at boxing. Like when I was outside kicking distance, I was good. But when guys get close to me, I would be flustered. I didn't know what to do. I got punched in a face a lot. I got my leg kicked.

Well, it's his kicking that's almost more impressive.

Yeah.

He's an excellent boxer. What's shocking to me is how well he's picked up the kicking. He's like throwing hook kicks and spinning back kicks like that's his opening moves.

That's all that matters. He's next level. There's next level, guys. There's like, okay, here's the new evolution. The next level, guys, a guy who's a wicked boxer, who's got an iron chin, who fucking totally believes in himself, has charisma coming out of every fucking porn his body. Oh, and he can knock you the fuck out. with any hand and he calls it he predicts it like I'll eat predicted he's gonna knock out the number five guy in the world with in the first round friends get it dressed to the nine yeah he's hilarious he's awesome fucking love the guy and a guy like that man that's next level shit that's like everything that John Jones has failed to do with the public this fucking guy has done without even winning the championship It's fascinating because like a lot of people like, I've always tried to figure out what it is about someone that makes people like them. It's so hard to tell, man, you don't know what the fuck it is. Like, I never saw a guy like McGregor coming. I never saw that. I always felt like, you know, seeing all of this being a little rise up to the hype, right?

You know, he did it. Poor you. He's a bad motherfucker. Yeah. He just got caught up in the in the headlights. Um, you know, McGregor's no joke. He's really good. And again, he's next level. Well, you were at the way I wanted to stand home. I wasn't at the way I was in Toronto. Yeah. Um, he's, um, it's a, it's a fascinating time for martial arts, man. Really interesting time because all these techniques that were thought to be, uh, not like pivotal techniques have become pivotal techniques like front kicks the face. That's not even a flashy technique, but once Anderson landed it on a vetoor, all of a sudden it became like a number one technique. And then Brown landed it on Alster. Yeah. He landed it perfectly. And that fucking, oh my God, it's vetoor or not a vetoor, vetoor getting knocked out by Anderson, but Randy getting knocked out by Machita, which is jumping front kick. Machita took it to the next level.

It's so crazy that these techniques like that no, and now Thompson does like a lot of like front leg round kicks. He does a lot of weird shit. He sneaks kicks over behind your shoulder and then chops. No, Wonderboy Thompson. He's doing a lot of like weird interesting karate kicks. Yeah. Josh Thompson's got some serious kicks too. He's like the first guy to stop Nate Diaz in the octagon. He had kicked him. Yeah. That was fucking nasty. That was so vicious.

Anderson Silva. Yeah. What is that? January. You want to be there? Come on. I got a show. Do the show at, at, um, the rush.

Whatever. It's like, whatever January. I think right out. Oh, I think right out. Oh, I'll figure it out. Oh, I'll figure it out. Do you have a, a New Year show anywhere?

Why? So you're never going to make a show in Vegas.

What are we talking about here?

This is Brian. By the way, I'll tell you. I'll be out your party. I'm going to be in Russia for a month. What? Where are you going to come to my party? You are SCP. You dick. You don't know. You said to show up. Well, that's why you're funny. I mean, borrow a board.

No, just plug it like that. That's weird. Well, you were talking about where you'd be. No, no, no, no, I didn't talk about where you'd be. Well, I just happen to have, wait, okay. That's the better way to do it. We're talking about fights. You want to be there for the fight?

Take it's on yourself. My thing yet. No, not pop it up. I'll be in putty. And man. Trying to bring in the Improv. That's where you have for what New Year's?

Why are you going to borrow a borrower? What the fuck is going on?

Really?

Here's a reality. Our life is way more fun than average. And you get to be a goddamn comedian all the time. And like, you're the Friday night and there's no show. You look at your watch and go shit. I could be on stage right now.

It's nice to be in a place where everything starts clicking. You know, I see guys like him. Everything is clicking. You know, it's all firing together. It's cool to watch.

I've been watching a lot of stand-up over the last few weeks. Really? Yeah, watch Cat Williams special. And I enjoyed it. There's a lot of people, some people were criticized and I enjoyed it. One of the things I really enjoyed is there's a version of it on YouTube. If you see the version on YouTube, somebody captured one of his sets before the special was actually taped, where he was on fire. He was just like, hitting every beat, getting ready for the special. You know, and it was more loose and relaxed in the actual special itself. I really enjoyed it better actually. I thought you could see like how funny he really is when he's on.

Thanks man. Thank you. And I was very funny dude. He's powerful man. When he's nailing it man, he's powerful.

Yeah. That's my kind of comedy, too. I love his kind of comedy. It's just so ridiculous that when he had that issue like he had a bunch of arrests and all kinds of shit, I was really bummed down because he's like one of my favorite guys to watch. So my please don't spiral. Don't spiral. Keep it together man.

Yeah. Well, he did, well, you know, he knows, but he did that special. That was a big thing. He did on HBO, Spike Lee directed it. That was a big thing. I think he's the funniest. He makes me laugh the most. When he's on, you know, but Stan hope makes me laugh hard too, but in a totally different way. Stan hope is like pointing shit out that is just ridiculous and then driving it through the fucking skull of America, where his cat Williams is just being hilarious. Just being, I mean, he has points, he does make points, but he's just, he's all about being fucking hilarious. Whether it's making fun of himself or making fun of, you know, someone else or everybody, I just this is a great time for comedy man. It's a great time to be a fan Yeah, it really is and it's a great time to be a comedian too because there's so much stupid shit going on It's like the every time you turn around There's some new fucking stupid thing and let's tell you just do there's so many things to talk about If I found sports, boy, I really have material. If you had some good NFL wife beating material, yeah. I don't know what the fuck it's going on. But it seems like every day.

Jamie would know. How many guys a team? What's that?

There's no doubt about it, right? Yeah. I mean, that's a thousand something. What is that? 1,500? 1,500 dudes. 1,500 dudes. That's a pretty low average, actually. If you only get a few wife beaters, I wonder what would happen if you got 1,500 cement workers. 1,500. I'd be a little higher. Yeah. I'll tell you that right now. How about 1,500, you know, whatever, fill in the blank. Yeah. You know, that's why when when everybody says, you know, oh, this guy got with divorce, he got fucked over women or guns. You, that's all you ever hear about. But I love when I hear about people that get amicably separated. Yeah. Nobody hurts. Yeah. Yeah. There was a lady who got arrested who was on the walking dead. She was an actress, like she had a small part on the walking dead. She sent rice in like that fucking poison to people under her husband's name. She tried to say that he was sending it and it was her. She's doing like 20 fucking years in jail for that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's fucking terrifying.

Are you kidding me? I'm going to send poison and get you locked up in jail forever and laugh. I'm going to set you up because you don't want to be with me anymore. Or you cheated on me or you know, you fucking wrecked my car. Whatever the hell he did. I don't know what he did.

How did he ever get out?

Yeah. She's crazy. God. Well that can happen because you know what man you don't know. They can't scan your brain and say oh this guy's in a sex pervert. He's just a guy that got caught up in a relationship with a crazy person. But you know there's so there's so much power in accusing someone of something or in setting someone up. There's so much power if if someone can do that man or female someone can send anthrax in your name and get you busted watch it off on the sideline. My pan worse! Jesus! Like what kind of a sick fuck? Tell me where to get it!

Tell me where to get it! Tell me where to get it! Tell me where to get it! Tell me where to get it! Tell me where to get it! Tell me where to get it! Tell me where to get it! Tell me where to get it! Tell me where to get it!

Did he really sexualize the rest? No, no, my God.

But it's still scary that someone could just do that to the side. Yeah, they decide to hate you. Fuck yes. Or they decide they love you. And you don't want to have anything to do with them. Oh, God. Play Misty for me. Oh, yeah. And there's a lot of that out there, man. People are fucking nuts. Mayo and female, both sides. That's why it's gross when anybody ever goes one way or the other. I'm all for women's rights. I'm all for men's rights. Some women, I don't like it at all. I'm just off the chair. This man, I don't want to be around ever for the rest of my life. It doesn't matter what gender they are. Like I don't give a fuck. Should men women get extra rights? No. Should they get equal rights? Absolutely. Everyone, everyone, everyone should be treated evenly by the law without a doubt. But when you're like When you're more geared up towards one side or the other, like, I can't get behind these men's rights dudes. I can't. It's a strange thing. I think there's definitely some fucked up laws when it comes to alimony. There's some fucked up laws when it comes to child custody laws and some people do like what you were talking about and what I was talking about. Some people will make fraudulent claims about their children and they'll do it and they'll set a guy up just so that they can get total custody. They're going to war. So if they lie about, I mean, someone who had sent rice and is not above lying about what the husband did to the children. There's a lot of crazy shit that goes on, but it's a human issue, more than it's a male woman issue. There's some fucked up laws for sure.

She gets him. She's not justified. But yes, she gets him. But what you're supposed to do is to cold on them. Unless you're the same size. Unless you're fighting Rhonda Rousy, you better throw some fucking bombs. Or you better be ready to tap out. You get it. I hope she doesn't break your shit off and stuff it up your ass. No doubt. Yeah, she will. But otherwise, just grab a hold of them. Don't hit. And if you really are fighting a chick that if you're living with a chick who is prone to violence and can probably kick your ass, she's too scary on a way. It's too scary.

I called her dumb.

It was fucker after that. Sure did. Yeah, he held it down.

Okay, let's not talk here. I know who that is. You know, the violent part in the making up part of a lot of times, that's like what they grew up with, right?

You regress immediately you just strike you distract cuz children when they don't have the language they'll hit I came to this girl when I was in high school and we broke up and she was dating this dude and She used to we used to work at the same place when I went to visit her once I was talking to her and she was telling me, she's crying. Tell me about this guy that she's dating, that beats her. He hits her. And I was like, oh my god, I couldn't believe it. And then she goes, you know what's really fucked up? Like it.

I go you like it. Yeah. And she goes, yeah, I like it. I don't know why. I like it when he hits me. I go you like it when he hits you. Yeah. I go like, do you want him to keep hitting you? She's like, no, I'm just fucked up. And I go, whoa. I go, I mean, he like he broke her window. He punched through her window because she's important enough.

Wow, it was fascinating to me because we were both really young at the time. I think I was probably shit. I couldn't have been more than like 17 or 18. And she was probably like the same. She was like 17. I was 18. I think I'm like that. So when she was telling me this, I was like, what? Like you like it when this guy hits you? It's strange. Like it might have been 1918.

You know, we were just out of high school. You know, she'd graduated, so she had to be 18. So it was just bizarre conversation. I was like, you can't let people hit you.

Because they want that violent dick. I don't know.

I thought that was amazing. Yeah, there's a weird thing. It's a weird thing when people just decide to fucking jump on board with the asshole.

Yeah. Well, hey, um, she got complicated half or fucking brain knocked in. Who knows where her judgment's at? Dude, she got KO'd and bounced her head off the pole. She could have easily died. Yeah. Easily been dead. Easily been dead. The idea that he hit her like that and be me. I don't know.

Fucked up. That's the most fucked up. Well, no, the most fucked up is the impact, the punch. That's the second most fucked up thing is how you treat her like bitch. Get the fuck up. You know, just try wasn't until someone showed up and people kind of freaking out that it became you know something then by the way they did to their cameras and elevators I don't know if you know that in 2000 nobody was thinking that man all he was thinking was she's she ain't hitting me, you know, he's gonna hit her back this I was on a plane once in Michael Irvin and Michael Irvin where it's a long-ass flight we're going to Australia just randomly happened to be on a plane right and he's a good dude.

Yeah, it's a great guy. You know and a great athlete and we're talking and he was talking about the foundation that he has, we works with a lot of young kids teach them how to harness their anger. And what he explained, he was explaining this to me on the flight that when kids grow up in bad neighborhoods with their violence in the house and then the mothers under stress all the time, it changes the reaction that the boy has to violence when he gets outside. It changes his reaction to stress. It makes him like ultra-impulsive. It makes him like inclined towards violence. And he was talking about how you literally have to figure out how to rewire your brain. And he was talking for personal experience. And he was talking about how you have to figure out how to rewire your brain in a positive way. It's very important to recognize that these kids are coming out of the gate. with the amount of control you expect out of a reasonable adult. They don't have that amount. They have less. And one of the reasons why they have less is the shit they're exposed to when they were in the fucking womb, man. It's like it's beyond that. I think that's the case with a lot of people. I wonder if that's the case with myself. I don't think I was exposed to too much stress in the womb, but I was exposed to a lot of violence when I was young. I've ever remember a lot of fucking crazy shit in my house, in my dad's house after my mom moved out because my dad needs to peat my mom. I remember some flying crazy stuff. That's stupid.

You gotta be careful.

It was also, it was coming straight off of competitive fighting. Like most of my form of years, like from 15 to 21. That's what it was like.

That's true. All that shit.

or they are.

You know, man, you know, we took a long time.

I trusted nobody. I remember being five years old and thinking people were retarded. I remember clearly, like seeing people argue over shit when I was like five years old, though, and he's fucking dummies. Jesus Christ.

Well, you're like a dad. How many more years of this shit we got to do?

Don't you think that that also sort of imparted that nomadic thing that you have going on when you could live anywhere? Fuck, yes. You can pull up right now. What? Like, Brian is one of the only dudes that I know, where I could say, hey, man. I got a place in New Mexico. You want to move there with me? Yeah. Okay. If you didn't have a family, no problem. You would pull up your shit and go anywhere. I don't make a touchman's pro at all. I'd be like, what do you need to bring? Uh, my clothes? Let's go. Let's get out of here. You don't, I don't remember when you didn't have a door knob. He didn't have a fucking door knob. You know, some people say, oh, God keeps his door open all the time. He's never his door's never locked. No, no, no. He didn't have a fucking door knob. Nothing. You could steal like a go over his house. And I would go, bro, you don't have a door knob. Like I could open, I can get on my knees and I can look through your fucking door hole.

I got this one. I was like, I got this one in place. Yeah. That was the same place where you didn't have a door knob. Yep.

I don't care. Yeah. You would just you could always abandon shit. Whatever. But do you do you think that's why like you don't appreciate nice shit? Like you don't even appreciate like a nice car. No, you make good money. You can get like one of those sweet new Cadillacs or something like that. Get a Tesla if I want it.

Yeah, no, I hear it.

This is just devil's advocate. Yeah. But people that make good money and then don't buy nice things. What is the fucking point of making good money? Someone who is poor, who looks at you, would be like, hey, dummy. But I have a nice house. You know, you're like part of, you know, we talked about this yesterday, the 1% of the world of the world. Yeah. More than 34,000 dollars a year.

But what I'm saying is get a Tesla. That's what you're saying. What I'm saying is people that like make a ton of money. And then don't buy nice things. There's one that's one look like, hey man, you know, you're the guy who has the opportunity to make a bunch of money buy nice things. But then there's the other point of view. It's like, okay, well, what are you, you know, you hear about Warren Buffett lives in a regular neighborhood and he's got a fucking hundred billion dollars. Um, yeah, that's because you don't form a fabrication, right? If he's gonna live in a regular neighborhood, how about you give away eight billion? Yeah, you're gonna use it. Yes, it's just sitting there in your 90. Correct. And I'm sure there's a lot of like philanthropic adventures that he invest money in. I'm sure he spends a lot of money on other things, but I'm saying like What level do you think you're supposed to give back? Like, are you supposed to give to charity? Are you supposed to be nice to your fellow humans?

Okay, stop right there. Isn't that just justifying like the uncomfortable nature of that discussion?

Yeah, but that's not what you were saying. You were saying like,

Or? I don't know. Why is it an or? I just don't even know.

People, people have a hard time when they give charity and they find out how much money goes to administrative costs.

It drives me crazy. That one penny does go to the starving kids.

What do you think the number is? Pull up the number, find out how much which organization was it? You know your way. United way.

I'm gonna get crazy and say it's 20 cents. 20 cents out of a dollar. Okay. You think it's really a penny? Used to be.

40 cents? I don't think it's that high. I bet it's less than 40 cents. It's a huge company. Okay, I say 20, you say one. Brian says 40. Is it 47? No, no. Oh, you're saying 47. I'm looking for it.

Instantly. Yeah. When he's Google it though, sometimes not so much. Sometimes not sometimes shit gets a little confogulated.

Well, the thing is, here's the question, should someone running a charity make a salary? Of course they should. Yes. What should they make a salary relative to what people make in America or the third world country where they're eating? That's when shit gets weird. Because if it's the third world country that they're eating, well, they're going to be bitter as shit. They're working their whole life away and they can't even fucking put a roof over their head and feed themselves normally. So it should be like an American salary. I would imagine. But if it's an American salary for a professional, like what is that? Is it 100 grams? Is it 50 grams? Is it 35 grams? What's the answer?

Okay, just I just googled, what percentage where does United Way charity go? Okay.

Okay. Here it is. Worldwide United Way claimed combined administrative and fundraising expenses in 2011 of 17% meaning that they spend approximately $17 for every dollar donated on organizational costs. But the other 83 cents go directly towards community projects. That's awesome. That's pretty good. So the United Way is not a good example.

Well, I didn't agree with that. What percentage of money goes to charity? Let's just Google that, of money. Like, what's the worst? Yeah. Well, we think the worst.

I mean, if they can, 17%, it wasn't like the general list thing, a brutal one. I don't know. The muscular dystrophy?

Okay, what percentage of what's Google that? What is what was that telephone called?

Jerry Lewis. Charity. Tell us on. Okay, guess this. What do you guess? What percentage?

Yeah, well, look, there's a certain amount of money that they would never get, right? If it wasn't for those things. Yeah. Like someone was talking about the ice bucket challenge. The ice bucket challenge is stupid as fuck. But, it's raised every day to those amount of money. Most people are doing it. They're not, they're not even donating money. They're just throwing water in their head. But, but the amount of people that have donated, it's pretty substantial. Yeah. It's millions, millions of dollars, much more than they had last year. ALS sucks. I'm sure. I'm sure. You know, they don't even think that Lou Garig had Lou Garig's disease and that's strange.

Yeah, I think it's trauma related. He was KOed so many times while playing baseball, sliding into people and shit, playing hard baseball. And played football, I believe. Look this, Joe.

paid a hundred and nine millions to two point five percent well now pay to solicitors now spent on direct cash a solicitors with that means like advertising right so that means what is paid to solicitors mean well percentage spent on direct cash a it looks like 2.5 percent point nine percent 10.8 used to work for a bank you can't figure this shit out no well what is solicitors mean What is solicitors? What's the definition of solicitor?

Well, solicitor is a legal practitioner. This is the actual definition. Solicitor is a legal practitioner traditionally deals with any legal matter in court in some jurisdictions. solicitation also means someone who sells. Right. Means solicitating prostitute.

I believe. But isn't that someone who's buying?

What happens if you solicit a prostitute though? Doesn't that mean you're, you're trying to stay for the prostitute?

So only 2.5% of their money. Right. Percentage spent on direct cash aid. Two point five percent. That's insane. What's the other one? Point nine percent for the cancer fund of America. That's insane. Less than one percent. Children's with family.

Look at that one. Look at that one. You need a police officer. Union of police associates. Look at that. Less than a half of a half of a percent.

Wow. That's insane. But how's that work? It says 19.6 million and 16.0. You know what that is? That's like rent and shit.

So the 15 million is paid to out to people the rest is bills Fuck man, we live in a dirty world the world's dirty That's so creepy that there's charities that far off less than a percent We thought, what did I guess? I guess 20. You guessed one. Yeah. There you go.

I think it was you know how about the charity when they're at the airport and they have the open bucket. Oh, forget. And they want cash. There's a plastic hole in an open bucket and around the bucket is photographs of kids. Yeah. And then it's like something and they have a clipboard. I don't know who you are. Sorry. Yeah, this lady came up to me at the airport once it was super aggressive about it. And I said, get the fuck out of here with that scam. And she goes, fuck you motherfucker. I go, that's what I was hoping for. Yeah. I go, that's what I want to hear. I go, you're involved in a charitable organization, right? She's like, fuck you bitch. I go, you're involved in a charitable organization. You're not going to dip it in that and take, well, you're a reputable person. Fuck you bitch. There you go. She got to hit me. It's pretty close. She had to definitely hit me. That's so great. I was tired man. I just landed, you know, working. And then someone like she was aggressive about it too. It's like she was like, you know, sir, would you please donate to help? You don't bump bump bump bump bump bump bump bump. But I'm looking at her and I'm like, I smell danger all over you. You don't seem like a charitable person. But you could just show up with a clipboard and a bucket and you know, some logo on the bucket and you get people to give you cash just to leave you the fuck alone. Well, especially if you're aggressive.

Yeah, but they're wackos. You look at him. What's with your heck of a tongue poke and the fuck out of here? Thank you for you, buddy. You're crazy. You're wearing sandals and you're a man. What are you doing? You're not even like a surfer and a saffron road. The whole thing is a mess. You smell weird. Get out. Get out. You smell like curry. Run. You're a mayor. I don't want to be like you. I don't want to be near you. And I don't want to give you any money to support this thing that you're doing. I would tell you a book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book.

Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with your book. Fuck out of here with They're like, what are we doing? Everybody thinks we're stupid. Even Scientologists make fun of them. Everybody, Harry Christ is the bottom end of the cult poll. Yeah, man. Yeah, everybody goofs on them. Duncan can do the whole chant.

Was he a very Christian? No, but he just, he's really like involved in studying religions and studying them whole life. He can do long Buddhist chance, but long, hard Christian, a chance. Yeah, he does all that shit. Yeah. He can do it like, and it sounds like like one of those monks in those hollow echoing masters.

I don't think there's any answer because in the end everybody dies. There's no answer. This is what it is. How much are you enjoying this and how much are you enjoying being around others who are enjoying it and helping each other out and having a good time? Because other than that, what else is there? Is there a deep meaning if everything is temporary? It doesn't seem like it could be. It seems like you're a part of some sort of weird evolutionary process that will go on as long as life is allowed to exist on this planet, which is very finite. The planet itself only has 1.6 billion years of life left. Do you think though that if it goes more than that, the sun's going to burst, the sun runs out of juice,

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, it might, it might not be.

Yes, yeah, we're definitely we win when there's steps back like when we talk about like people being PC and all that stuff. I think it's terrible, but it's way better than being racist. It's way better than the PC shit is way better than segregated where the blacks have to sit in the back of the bus and use a different water cooler. You know, this this way better. So that to me is clear example, but then there's also drones and spying and crazy shit and people are still getting locked up. Always be a child crazy, drug laws, and then there's private prisons, as corporate interests, and there's fucking this Goldman Sachs thing that came out with the tapes that are now being released of the Fed in coercion with Goldman Sachs. I mean, all the different shit that's going on, you see that still is still corruption. They're still evil. It's still just, misdirected energy, incorrect patterns of behavior that have led to people to operate in the same type of momentum that the fucking knucklehead traders before them have done and the fucking military industrial complex guys from the 60s did. It's all the same kind of, that energy hasn't been flushed out of the system yet, but it seems like it's slowly getting pushed into a corner. Or at least it's harder to hide. She with the fuckers going on in Hong Kong? Yeah. Dude, Brian, pull up the photos. There's a drone video of the protest in Hong Kong.

Dude, there's a lot of fucking people. A lot of people.

Well, they used to not be until fairly recently. I used to be controlled by the United Kingdom, right? Look at this fucking video though. It's gonna freak you out because they're flying over. By the way, it's amazing that they can do that now. You could just like a regular person can get a drone. We did that sci-fi show dude. I put on these goggles like these VR goggles and they put a camera on this drone and then flew the drone over the tree tops. And I was like watching from the drones perspective. I was like, oh my, we couldn't put it in the episode because we didn't have enough time. But I was like, I'm flying. It was amazing. So sick. That's amazing.

But I'm telling you, it felt like I was flying. Really? Like when I had these VR goggles on. I had VR goggles on. This thing is flying through trees and stuff. And you're watching, like, whoa! How much would that cost to buy? Probably a lot. And they don't go very far. Like after a mile, it doesn't transmit, like the signal, whatever type of signal it is. So why? I just see this. This is the crowd. And this is them filming this by drone. Do they they've shut down the city? This is incredible look at that look at that That's a million people right at least I don't know. I don't know what my box like There's like I think there are 7 million that's like 300 people bro Crazy that's like a Nick's comedy stop and the fact that's It's like a Joe Rogan come get that look how many

And what year were would they United Kingdom? It was until like the night.

They're bracing both sides brace for Wednesday's showdown. Oh fuck, are they gonna go World War III in Hong Kong too?

And China is saying, hey, we're kind of running your country.

Look at this photo of his kid shining his fucking flashlights. They're all shining the lights from their cell phones. It's really creepy. It's on USA to do that. USA today's coverage. It's one of the larger photographs. There's hundreds of kids. There's millions of kids and they all decided to turn their cell phone lights on. And they're holding them up in solidarity. And it's kind of symbolic.

Yeah, they could fuck this up, but this is everything.

Well, when did Hong Kong become a part of China?

Right, so they're just still trying to work it out. I mean think about 20 years ago. Was that like Clinton days? Yeah 97 those Clinton right? Yeah 97 Clint was president imagine that like if Clinton like Leaves and then also trying to take over the US and we're like what? Yeah, like that's kind of the same sort of thing if they were under rule of the United Kingdom That's really similar to like the being America or Canada Absolutely, it is also really hard for the for for first

What a mess. It's just weird when you see a situation like that where you know something is going to happen. And we're watching it from afar from way the fuck over here in California and we're like, what is going to happen over there?

Well, then you got to realize that the people in the military themselves, other than the few people that are running it, there's going to be a certain point in time where if there's riots everywhere, if the entire country goes topsy-turvy over this, if they all start emulating what's going on in Hong Kong, there's a, not enough soldiers to cover them all because there's a billion goddamn people and b, It would be soldiers turning their guns on their own people. These are regular folks, just like the soldiers in America. It's one of the weirdest things about people that don't want to support the troops, like the idea that, you know, I don't support war, so I don't want to support the troops. Troops are just people. And they might be the only thing, and their love of regular people might be the only thing that protects a really tyrannical government. from turning their guns on the people themselves, because they can't do that if the people holding the guns refuse. Somewhere down the chain, I mean, where they say no, they say no in general.

Like the wake-o guy, David Crash, he got very little sympathy in this country. Even though they essentially went in and fire-bombed these people, killed kids, shot people down, there was fucking very clear images of Sherman tanks blowing fire into these fucking buildings. But we knew they had guns. That's the only thing we knew. We knew that we heard that he fucked kids. That was the thing, right? But by the way, that is exactly what I would say if I was going to fucking run some tanks into some dude's house. That guy's in there fucking kids. We got to go kill those kids. Yeah, anyway, it was a team.

But we think about the ultimate irony. We're going to save those kids by killing them all. Yeah. I mean, they killed everybody. I think they let some kids out at one point in time.

They were documentary about it. That was the jaw-dropping. Well, the documentary was highlighting the use of force. And that was like one of the first times we saw like real military force being used on civilians.

Hicks had a whole bit on it. Hicks had a whole bit on it. It was, it was pretty fucking crazy. It was just most people didn't see it because there was no fucking internet back then. It wasn't like today. If they did some wake-o shit today and we saw them driving over buildings and blowing fire into these buildings, pull up the video of wake-o, pull up the video. What are you doing? You checking your Facebook, you fuck.

Things are different. It's different. It's not that easy to just get away with shit anymore.

Look at this This is crazy. This is in the 1990s. This is a goddamn tank tearing apart a house. This is a tank in America going into this quote unquote cult. And because they had gotten into a firefight with these people, because the ATF shot at them. The ATF, they were like, on the roofs and shit. It's a really crazy documentary. One of the guys, the ATF guy inside was shooting out the door at ATF people outside.

What did they do that with these guys, too? Yeah. That's a common tactic.

Is that really?

That's gonna get us pulled over YouTube. That's the music is. This is ridiculous. I mean, to see tanks being used on civilians, helicopters and shit. But okay, but then if you look at it from the other hand, Like this, it buzzin' nanos. Jesus. How fast I think. As you look at it from the other side, if you've got a group of people that are in this house and they're shooting at federal agents, what do you do? Do you do this? Do you do this? Do you wait them out? Wait for them to start out. You don't set them off fire, that's what you don't do that.

Well, that's not true. They did they did this shit with with tanks.

What is the aerial view of the tanks? That's Dr. Fox News.

They'd use flamethrower, dude. Okay, let's google use of flamethrower. I thought that was pretty established. Use of flamethrowers and wakers.

Hidden Waco footage tanks used flamethrowers and there's a link and you can go to the YouTube video and the YouTube video is unavailable. Interesting. Proves its bullshit. Waco tank flamethrower on YouTube. This sounds like some cam trail shirt. Yeah.

Watch carefully as the tank backs out of the house. Oh, that is true. Google Waco Tank Flamethrower. This is pretty fucked up, Brian. I think it's gonna turn you over. You're gonna be working for CNN. I know you guys. You're going to be intent to your second pocket. Fox News is going to fucking fire you. Yeah. You're going to go dark on this one. You're going to go left wing.

I got my deer tags too. Here, watch this.

Go towards like with the E is an experience.

Okay. Here. It's good. Keep going.

Dude, they let that house on fire. Where are you at now Fox News? What do you think, man? I think they lit that house on fire.

Well, they're also soldiers. And they've given them the beginning enemy. You know, that old expression. If you only have a hammer, everything looks like a nail. Yeah. I don't have any doubt about it. Okay, but here's the question. What do you do? If you know that there's a group that's holed up and they have a bunch of weapons, I'm not saying he set the place on fire and kill the kids, but I'm saying what? How do you handle that? How do you, you got a guy who's shooting in federal agents allegedly? There is that the reality that agents are being brought in to agents accidentally shot at themselves. That is a fact.

Right? Yeah. I mean, do you think that someone should be allowed to have a place like that? Like, if you believe that people should be allowed to have guns? Like, I have friends who have many guns. My friend Justin, it's like a legit bonafad gun nut. You don't even know how many guns he has. Now, what if Justin got together with 50 of his friends and they're all like him and they rented a big fucking piece of land or they bought a big piece of land together put a few houses up and then put a fence around it.

Right.

Right. But what is that? You got a highly armed compound of a bunch of gun nuts.

Right, do you know the thing thing that Koresh shot himself? Or was shot by his people? Really? Yeah, they think he was shot before he... Yeah, Koresh and about two dozen others shot themselves to death or were shot before the fire and Gulf the entire compound. Others died in the fire or the rubble of the collapsing building. Jesus. Whoa, that's dark.

Yeah. It's, I mean, they were fucking armed to the tits. God, this is crazy. Watch this. Some look. Dude shooting through the wall.

So the agents went in They shot through the walls and shot their own agents Fucking amen 16. Four dead. That's a blood dead right there.

This is not my my feelings on this. I don't have formed feelings on this but those guys broken these people's houses for what reason apparently he was in violation I think of two things weapons illegal weapons cashiers or whatever and also I think there was a warrant for the fact that he was having sex with underage girls child in danger yeah child in danger which is kind of legit if he's run a cult I mean my friend used to date this chick who grew up in a cult she in he said that she'd tell him horrible fucking story that's why a lot of guys start cult so they can get pussy yeah well didn't crash like how to deal where he could bang everybody's wife But if you were smart. Yeah. That was his thing. His thing is he could bang everybody's one.

Everybody Jim Jones probably banged everybody's one.

I don't know what that's what you saying. I think he was saying he's God.

They all look the same like him the Australian Jesus you can put them side by side and they're like interchangeable Did these we that's great Russell Yeah, doesn't look too too wild Australian Jesus so lame. He's just like I'm Jesus Well, no, he's lame or the lame because he's told two different chicks that they're married like his game as he tells a chick that you're married that I'm Jesus you're married like oh get the fuck out of dumb and superstition She's my type. The documentary is he's not dumb. He's pretty clever. But the poor girl. He has this girl that's convinced that she's married and she's crying and she's crying and she's talking about remembering him being on the cross. It's fucking madness. And then afterwards he's being interviewed by the guy and the guy was interviewed and was pretty slick. And he's like, didn't you tell another girl that she was married? He's like, yes, but I was wrong.

Yes, but I was wrong, but it's even better than that he plays green day He's seen there. He's playing a green day song. He's incredible like you telling me that the Australian Jesus would be really in the green day Yeah, like I just kind of think there's got to be a better song for him

No, he's got quite a few really devoted. It's in Queen's land. No, no, no, he's got a crying and so he's got a giant compound and it's getting bigger. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of people are very worried about him. Really? Yes. Yes. I mean, he's a legit cult leader. Wow. I mean, he really has, I mean, it's an enormous, I just feel like it's a huge magnet for the dummies.

No, it's not. It's not because then they can take over. See, the thing about having a really big group of dumb people is a big group of people that are so dumb, they don't even know they're dumb. So there's no leaders. They're a giant group of retarded followers. Yeah, and their chase after a guy who's a fake Jesus who likes green day. I mean, this is like The numbers that a guy like that can draw, the reason why it's fucked up is because if you look at the whole population, let's just go with America because I don't know how big Australia is, but if America is 300 million people, what percent do you think are just so fucking dumb, they almost can't think things through for themselves? I'd say it's 1%. That's all you need. If you have 1% in America, you have 3.5 million dummies. That is a staggering number of dummies. If you really laid it out like that, if it's truly one out of 100, which is probably being super generous to the human race. But if it really is one out of 100, that's 3.5 million in this country alone. You don't need that many to start a good cult. Shit.

He's got a lot going on, man. He's got a big ass place.

Um, he used to be an Australian, uh, IT specialist. But they're in Queensland. I mean, it's not like Queensland is, you know, he's got a big spot dude. He's got a specter on his egg news. But whatever, I think he has like 600 acres or something up there.

Oh, 600 acres or something like that.

Yeah, crush was in battle again. No. Great hair. Scruff. But they look similar if you look at him and then pull up the Australian Jesus. No, not Charlie Manson. The Australian Jesus. That guy looks very similar.

You're going to go crazy. Bring it down. Bring it down. You're going to do it. I'm going to do it.

this guy um yeah he has 600 plus acres chilling cult transgress whatever that's a lot of fun in Queensland but he looks so much look at him Brian oh he looks so much like caresh oh he's handsome he's got sharp features maybe it is caresh but look at them maybe caresh escaped they both got that weird beard where they can't grow a man's beard so they grow this fucking yes caresh might have gotten his nose sharpened could be him and his hair straightened I think that's caresh

It's stuck in trouble. It's stuck in trouble. It's stuck in trouble. It's stuck in trouble. It's stuck in trouble.

Remember when he did that show for the, uh, heading. Yeah, for which guy? Anton Levasson. Yeah. That was great. So where Hank third Hank Williams Jr. Danzig Jr. Jr. Jr. Hank III played there. Yeah. Yeah, I was just all crazy chaos, man.

For what? Rock band? Yep. I don't know. I never thought about it. What do we in high school? Who's your favorite? Who do you think is the greatest? Who's yours? You must have one. Otherwise you wouldn't have to.

Yeah, Robert Planner's right up there. Yeah. Nobody had pretty much markers right up there too though. Make Jaggers up there, but the problem with the stones and no one's gonna like to hear this. They don't write. They had a lot of shitty songs.

But they had some fucking monsters. They had a few monsters, but when you pick up their albums, like there's a bunch of Zeppelin songs that no one talks about that are fucking phenomenal. You know, you listen to them, you're like, oh, I forgot about this. You know, this is still a beautiful, and then you have some stone song. You're like, what is this? Oh, shut this fucking thing off.

Yeah, but didn't zeppelin steal a lot, 13 songs.

We played that. Didn't we? Didn't we play the both of them back and back? Yeah. There was a video that had all the old blues songs, like the lyrics from them, and then there were a lot of

It just seems like those guys should have got something if they were still alive.

I'm really mad at Fox News. You'd work for them. I would be like that.

What if they made you wear a dress like those high girls?

Do you think it's possible to have a news channel on television that's undefined? It doesn't slant left. It doesn't slant right.

Yeah, but not there. I'm talking about here in good old US.

Well, that's the infinite growth paradigm, right? It exists in corporations, and it also exists on shows. Yeah, man. They want the ratings to go up. The ratings are up, up, up, up.

So when you're under the percent of them, when you're all American, when you see shit, it's going to pop show.

That's not the same. That's not real Fox Fox. That's Emmett. Those medical shows are the weirdest fucking form of showbook. Those local morning shows and strange markets. These local shows are the weirdest form of show business ever. Yeah. Some of them are great. And some of them are so bad. You can't believe this isn't a school play. I am on a school play with cameras on it.

Just fake, dude. And some of them are so bad. I went on one, won't name the name. Immediately, guys, first question was, what was it like when Phil Hartman was killed? And I just sort of, I sort of blank face them. I go as terrible. Like one more answer. Like I'm gonna give you a one word answer for that. I'm not gonna elaborate and expand, but that's his opening question. Like you saw that video where Mike Tyson was talking to the guy in Canada and the fucking opening statement that guy says, is this gonna hurt the mayor because you were, you went to jail for rape? You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted.

You're convicted. You're convicted.

You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted. You're convicted.

the end of the right way of peace to shit, so it was more stressful as dealing with a piece of shit, like you thought will be a positive here, but you'll be even your piece of shit Yeah, that dude was terrified. He looked into the eyes of death. Yeah man. And Tyson didn't even fucking, his heart didn't even skip a beat. There wasn't like an extra beat to it. Everything stayed nice and calm. He's probably wondering whether the nice should beat the show this guy on the air. He's already cussing him down. He's not going to beat him up, but it's probably there floating around. I think he just launched himself on this guy and just smashed his face in. It feels so good for those brief seconds. How much time we have to do? Too much, not worth it. Don't do it. I make a more famous. Yeah, you know, he would go to jail for sure. He imagine like well, he'd been Canada if you could get across the border real quick. I thought we'd extra died him. It's true actually. Especially if the guy really did If the guy moved at all and some sort of a threatening way Call them a convicted rapist.

They live in a world of no fun. It's really fun. Everything has to be like formal. All right. Let's go over here to the board and take a look at the weather. Well, we've got here's a cold front moving in. That same guy has to do everything. That same guy has to do it. Tom Cruise in a bit of a blow-up with Matt Lauer. We'll tell you about it when we get back. Like who are you? I know.

There's certain people that you know shouldn't exist in nature and they offend you. They're offensive. And that's something about that. They're like, okay, I'll let you read the news. I'll let you, I'll let you be the robot. But if you fucking try to give your opinion as that robot, well, you know, these days are different than when we were kids. And a guy like Ray Rice, she just know better.

You have too many rings on. You got too many rings on me. I really talked to you.

That character you can't trust. Like that's Dr. Smith from Lost in Space, right? You can never count on Dr. Smith. Oh, He would give you up. He would give you up to the aliens, right? The aliens were going to kill him. I'll tell you what they are. I'll tell you what they are. You're like Doctor Smith, you fuck. And the dad who was always like rock-solid with a square jaw, kept letting Doctor Smith in to sell you a little homo. I'll let him back in. Dr. Smith was clearly gay. Never wanted to have anything to do with the wife. Was not, I mean, he was alone with no women. He never, never, never flirted with her. Never imagined what it would be like. He never said to him, you're married. There's no women out here in space. You got the best woman on earth. There's nothing weird or creepy happened. Yeah. He was clearly an untrustworthy gay man. And probably one of the most homophobic characters ever because he was so weak. He wasn't he mean first of all. He always watched the kids like the guy was always watching the kids while the the dad who was the fucking astronaut super here was fucking saving the planet. He was a hand. He was sort of a hand. Yeah, he was a hand and he was weak. He was so weak. He was clearly gay. He told. Oh dear Will. He was just so weak.

and clearly gay. Like it was such a homophobic character. But that was the only way anybody would ever accept a character like that on television. Yeah. He had to have it. He had to be feminized. Yeah. Like if he was in that position and he couldn't be trusted, but he was very masculine and, and, and, and, you know, if he was a masculine, he'd be banging the astronauts' white.

No.

weird shit would happen. Yeah, especially if the dudes on trustworthy. I mean, especially if you're in space, like you got no shot at getting back to civilization. How many seasons did they do? After a couple of years, you got to realize this is, we're, we're gonna live out here on the moon for a fucking hundred years. Yeah. This blows and the kids, they have to fucking listen to this guy, they're falling around with them, they have to go back, dad, daddy's lying. Yeah.

Having any sort of person in that sort of a completely artificial way in your life. You let them in. It's like, we let in some weird shit. If you ever want to, I know you have because you hang around a bunch of idiots. You haven't been out to dinner with a guy.

It's so true. You're awesome. You're awesome. You're awesome, but you hang around with us. It's an impressive thing to say. Dodo's. I've known Brian for so long that I know not to go over to his house when he'll tell me, like, sir, he's a good guy. He just, uh, you know, he's just a little weird. That's something. He come over his house for some party and you can talk about it. Talk to me next to some loon, like, oh, God. Brian, what are you doing hanging out with this guy? I know. I know. I know. He wants to borrow money. Which I tell him. Tell him, no! The fuck are you doing? You'd always have like some new person you were hanging around with.

Dude, that producer. That producer guy that you used to hang around with. When I first started hanging around with Brian, he had this producer guy that you hung around with. And I remember like... some guy was like a writer was trying to like make some things happen meetings you don't need to name names you know I'm talking about African American descent oh yeah complete total hustler yeah and I was like wait what was it how did this guy get in yeah guys really close to you saw that oh man what did you do you kept it I was around me you you pitch shows with all you love me

Yeah, drunk like with that guy was a he believed he was smart. He believed he was like smart and slick and he was gonna pull it off and he believed like his smiles in his charm would mask the overall like slickster hustler bullshit that he had underneath but there was there was no substance like he would pitch ideas he'd be like what is this idea this dog shit idea you guys are gonna go out with he was just was all like energy and he had found a way to integrate himself into Hollywood you know and there's a bunch of those dudes man and you used to always have more on your side some of those people in Hollywood How many of those dudes that I tell you do you need to get the fuck away from those guys?

You're a genuine you're a genuine. My antenna is not flawless, man. There's a dude that slipped through the wire. There's a couple people that slipped through the wire. One of them is that Raphael Torriga. I didn't really know him, though. I can't really. He was friends with Eddie Bravo and he turned out to be a fake Brazilian YouTube Black belt and he murdered some guy. He's in jail right now for murder. He murdered some guy. He was like banging the guy's wife and then like having insurance policy or something and he killed the guy. Yeah, and was driving the guy's car. There's some crazy shit was going on. But when I met him, he didn't seem like a murderer to me, man. And he seemed pretty fucking normal. And I didn't ever see him do martial arts. So I couldn't see like, whether he's bolster or not. I just met him at like a king of the cage event and talked to him. But then you find out the guy's like a murderer and now he's in jail for a week. You like what? Yeah. How is it? Okay. Shit. Maybe if I had a deal with them, maybe I had something going on where you know we're involved in something together. Some business transaction or something. Maybe I could have seen the bullshit.

He wasn't that slick because I did eventually watch a video long after Eddie had outed them. Eddie had told them like get the fuck out. Eddie figured out that he wasn't really a black belt. It's before Eddie was even a black belt. Eddie was like, about her, a brown belt at the time, was before he beat Hoiler. It was long before that, but we were, um, we were in the car once, and Eddie fucking broke him down over the phone while we're in the car. Really? Yeah, they gotta keep trying to hustle and, and they go, stop, stop, stop. Are you a black belt in jujitsu? I just need to hear this right now. Are you a black belt in jujitsu? And there was this pause, and he was starting to some other nonsense, and it's that, well, my dad learned Japanese jujitsu. It's a stop, stop, stop. Do you actually have a black belt and you're just not your dad, not who you trained with, and he went, there was like a silent moment, and he goes, I don't want to talk to you ever again. Okay, you're a bullshit artist. Like you made me, I brought you around people, you made me look bad, like you're not being honest. You're not honest person. So after all that, then I saw a video that dude working out. I saw a video of him doing like a spinning back kick on a pad. It's fucking comical. I mean, it's like someone showed him 20 minutes before. Wow. It was ridiculously bad, but he had a crazy story this guy. He, he, he was such a hustler, such a bullshit artist that he turned, he turned up at, he told this guy, I need you to give me a ride in the woods. I'm going to this, uh, no rules, karate, kumate, and, uh, I'm going to be gone for a couple of days. So, uh, come back and get me, uh, like around Saturday. So he has this big duffel bag with him. Okay, it's a big fucking full duffel bag. He takes it with him. He goes off this kumite. And then the guy comes back on Saturday and now he's holding a trophy. That's a guy pick him up at the same spot. He says, yeah, one this kumite and Pete everybody and not going to trophy. And they guys like how you fucking had a duffel bag that was filled with this fucking trophy. Oh no, he told me to come get you two days. So he probably would walk home, took a nap, ate some food, went back up, went for the dude to pick him up, you know, and then yeah man, I go look at the trophy, I won.

Yeah, what the fuck? The fun guy. He's fun. He was the fun guy.

Yeah. Those guys when you grow up too, like, you grow up in a neighborhood, there's like 50 dudes, whatever, that all kind of know each other. Like, that's the potential for one fucking unbelievably crazy person. It's so strong. Especially if you're in the city. Yeah. Have you ever seen that video of the kid who does a back flip off the top of a second story building? No. Yep wild kid in the street you know there's always those wild kids will try anything I have seen that his guy does and he makes it the first time it does it again Oh, I don't know about that. Yeah. The one that I've seen, I've only seen one when I got makes it and he's hanging out in a diner afterwards. I was like, how the fuck did you do that? Yeah. He backed his back to the edge and then just flipped. Flip to the air, land, didn't collapse and the ground was fine. It's one of the most incredible things.

Did it for zero? Didn't do it for a nickel? I mean, maybe he had a bet, but whatever.

That's it. That's what happens when people grow up together. And one guy pushes another guy in the next thing. You got a stivo. You got a stivo. Like stivo. Like you got some crazy.

They're all crazy. They're all crazy. But look, stivo was with lions. He climbed a fucking tree and the lions came up the tree and they're swatting. They took his hat from him. Yeah. That is what we talked about that.

I saw that. Oh, I haven't seen this one. Is this another kid? Five story. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, What? What did you feel like where he was in the air? I'm like, what have I done? I don't imagine what that felt like on his balls. Because your feet hit and then your balls. What's funny is he's not in the air for that long, you know?

Well, not very long. Don't watch it. You can't make you speak this. Your voice just got high I get super nervous when I should do the fear factor stunts and they'll be like looking over the edge of some of the buildings just people had a crawl out on like Oh, is this another one? Oh, no dude.

This guy's gonna climb or he's gonna swing This is not good. I don't know, man. I don't think I want to see this. Well, I do now. Hmm. Why was wrong with you? Because so it's not even another country. You got to push yourself. This is a different language. This guy can die for sure.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Dude, look at this again. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no You know, that's an interesting thing. There was a study on why men do that. And they were trying to figure out what it is about men that makes them want to do like ridiculous stunts like that. And they said that when men do that, it makes them more sexually attractive to females. There's certain females that are attracted to men that don't have fear or willing to overcome fear in that. It's somehow another they think in some way connected to the idea of a brave warrior, because a brave warrior faces something that everyone else is terrified of, but faces it head on. And that same sort of reaction to watching someone do something that you know as a person is absolutely terrified when they see it, it gets them turned on. It makes total sense to me.

That's a misplacement, but isn't that... Or it's not.

What I mean isn't what I was saying is isn't essentially the same thing that makes someone like a crazy BMX rider. You do those flips. Yeah, man. That's kind of the same thing, right?

But, you know, but the BMX guy gets money. If you're a BMX guy and you do flips and shit and you're awesome at it. You can make a lot of money.

Yeah, but that shit, you know something about that is like when you're fighting at least you're under your own sort of control in some sort of a way Yeah, you take deal with somebody else, but if you know what the fuck you're doing you can kind of mitigate a lot of shit Sort of you at least you hope you can that's the ultimate goal, but man when you're fucking doing flips off a mountain you're going off a mountain or mountain bike Yeah, wish, wish, wish. Bam, I didn't get landing. Some of those guys are out of their fucking mind.

Yeah, but I think it's a way crazy rush that they get. They're doing like two flips on TV and landing on a bike. They do motorcycles. They flip through the end of motorcycle.

Well, what happens when it lands on their body? That's horrible to watch.

He's been shut off a bunch of times, too. Yeah. I asked him about that once and he said he's been how cold like six times. I think that was like from skateboarding. I don't even think that was from fighting. I know. He loves doing it. He's pretty dude, man. Yeah, but that causes depression. Like too much head trauma like that. Yeah. That causes you to do like shifts for which players should.

Mark Gordon, the guy who's the expert in traumatic brain injury, Dr. Mark Gordon. He said it doesn't take much. He said you could have one wrong car accident where you don't even get injured. He just slam-forward and like hit the steering wheel, like you're fine. Everybody's fine, everybody's fine, you know, a little fender-bender and you're fucked. You're fucked. You depressed for months, you don't know why. Wow. Yeah, you put two or three glands. It's not functioning properly. Like your your brain.

Yeah, well, there's a bunch of shit. Your dopamine levels drop, you serotonin levels drop, your human growth hormone levels drop, you get tired. You know, they think that that's a lot of what they used to call chronic fatigue syndrome too. Chronic fatigue syndrome. They attribute to a couple different possibilities. One of them is Lyme disease. They didn't understand Lyme disease. Well, Lyme disease, they believe. They didn't start diagnosing people with Lyme disease to like, if I can 80s or something like that. It was fairly recent disease. But the other one they think might have been depression and head trauma. Well, they just don't want to get out of bed. Like you know, that's remember that when they used to call it chronic fatigue syndrome? Yeah.

Yeah. Just, you know, I had to... Or I remember there was some girl that, um, I didn't know, but I knew her like peripherally. And someone was like, yeah, poor girl. She's got chronic fatigue syndrome. I'm like, what the fuck is that? And I think, yeah, I don't know if she'd been a car accident or something. But I want to say she was. It's like a serious car accident. I'm trying to remember, it's too long, I might be confusing stories, but I remember thinking like I had met her before, it's a scene normal, and now here she is, what she doesn't have any energy to do anything.

Like an infection.

You know, people get fucking hard attacks from tooth infections?

That's why there's a bullet thing, it's so fucking frightening, because anything that just a immediately shuts your body down, anything that immediately puts your body into a tailspent, 50% of the people that catch the shit die. It's so weird when something just goes wrong. Like everything's great today. Today, what did I do? Well, I went and walked the dogs. I got up, I played with my kid. I went and played tennis. What happened yesterday? Oh, you know, same thing. What happened tomorrow? Ebola. Yeah.

Boom, hemorrhagic virus. Boyle's all over your face. Your face is covered in just giant fucking cell phone size. Plus, both.

Yeah, they're weird that alligators, they let them hang around because they're not too aggressive. It's like they're just docile enough. They usually run from you. The people don't just decide to fucking kill them on site, but really everyone in Florida should be in up in arms. They should run out of the swamps and gun those fucking dinosaurs down. Like those are a bunch of kid-eating dog-eating monsters to shit out of dogs.

Yeah, they're just not as aggressive as Crocs. If they were Crocs, we would be killing them left one right. Crocs are crocodiles. You know, they found Nile Crocs in the Everglades. Stop it. Yes, they have. There's a shoot on site order. I found Nile Crocs.

Nile Crocs are out. Yep. They don't know if they're breeding. They don't have any idea, but they've spotted more than one Nile Croc in the Everglades. Confirm sightings. They're saying straight up killers. Yep. You see them, they kill them on site.

And they're being big. Oh, they get really busy.

There was a document or article I was reading about these people that were canoeing in the Congo and the guy behind watches the guy in front gets taken by the crock with a crock just rises up out of the water and literally snatches the guy and spins the canoe upside kayak rather. It goes up and down like a bobber and then plump and then pops up no guy. That's it. It doesn't see the guy ever again. The clock just takes him out of the water.

Yeah, that's what they're, they're here for cleaning.

Yeah, they eat everything. Yeah, that's what the shirt, everything. If you think about it, like, where are they? Well, they live in a place that's so rich with life. They have to be consistent in their ability to kill it. Like, they're the cleanups. Like, anytime, just too many water buffaloes, there's too many wildebeests. Well, there's too many wildebeests. They go near the water hole and they get got. They get snatched. That's right. But you know who doesn't get snatched? Hippos. Crocs don't fuck with Hippos at all. Hippos wait into the water with Crocs and swim right by him. It's the most amazing thing to say. Because Hippos are so fucking violent. They're like, oh fuck it. They break Crocs in half. They cut Crocs in half. Yeah. Yeah, we're out of time. It's it. There's no more time. Bryan Calen, you are my friend. You are the shit. Thank you. You are hilarious. If people want to see Bryan, it's BRY-A-N-Calen. Has anybody taken BR-I-A-N-Calen just started to picture a dick? I don't know, man.

B.R.Y. A.N. Cowan on Twitter. Alright, my friend, much love. Anything that's tell people where you're going to be getting?

Go see him! Celaris! Yeah! Very funny stand-up! Brian, you got anything going on?

Desquad.tv, click on tour dates. That's it, you folks. See you soon. Much love. Thank you.