Transcript for #784 - Brian Redban

Yes. Before we even started, I got to give a shout out to this dude Aaron. Where is it? Where's the, not that, but he gave us that, but the other thing I'm going to white snake. Oh, yeah. There it is. I told a story a long time ago about car accident I got into when I had an older girlfriend. He's telling me what to do. She's pretty hot though. Stephanie, how are you? Um, and she, uh, She made me throw away this white snake cassette after the car accident. I had a little box that cassettes in my car and she said throw that out and that's fucking listen to her. All right. So if you're in that state, if you're in that situation right now, well, you're in a relationship and the person you're with tells you what to do and you go fuck man, I'm that bitch. Well, I was that bitch once too. And I was bummed out, man, that I fucking threw out this white snake CD. Well, it's cassette because that rather, I didn't even have a CD player then. What did CDs come out officially?

I'm trying to figure this out before, but just don't. It's just not worthy enough. Somewhere in the 80s, right?

So this had to be 88 because I know that after I broke up with her, I started fighting again. I took like a break. We broke up and then I had three more fights after I dated her. So like kickboxing fights. So I remember that year. So it had to be 88 which was a lot of 88 or 89. But I love this cassette. So that was like a real moment of, for me, you know, there's moments when you have in relationships where you go, fuck, I can't beat this guy. I can't, I can't just let someone tell me what to do and someone trying to change me. Like, she was a very smart girl and she was older than me. Like, she was 25 and I was 21 and I remember, you know, she was just smarter than me. It's certainly at the time, more worldly than me and I just fucking listen to her. It's not good, man.

In her of defense, I was a fucking idiot in her defense. So she was trying to shape me up. You know it was an interesting like you know what I knew I couldn't hang out with her anymore was There was an incident at a comedy club that I've told before. I don't want to repeat it again because the person that I talked about in the Jamie Killstein podcast, the person I was talking about is completely delusional in their perception of these events. I don't want to even rehash who the original person was that I got into dispute with. But I wound up walking off the stage because I was disgusted by how this professional comedian was censoring people at an open mic night. Stephanie, who's a, by the way, awesome. Never anything but awesome. She's a very cool person. So I've never hated her anything. But she, you know, she pulled me aside. And she, like, kind of like, lectured me. She's like, look, if you want to do this, if you want to do this, then you have to really do it. You can't walk off stage like that. That's completely unprofessional. And I'm like, I'm not a professional. I'm like, I'm an amateur. Like, yeah, it's unprofessional. I'm trying to learn how to do it. And then I realize like, that's not how you talk to people that are in your life that if you don't like what they're doing. Like you have, there's got to be a better way of approaching it than that. Her way of approaching it was from like a mother perspective, like an authoritative perspective. You know, it was weird. It was a weird relationship in that respect. And when you see those relationships, the problem is Not I don't want generalize but oftentimes in relationships the dynamic that the relationship begins with is the dynamic the relationship sticks with and if you get stuck in a relationship with one person's telling you what to do it very rarely goes back the other way and then you tell them what to do and then they listen it never does it's like you develop like a chief And the rest of the Indians, you know, these are captain and then they're sailors. And it's just the way it is, man. I don't know why, but with her, like early on, she assumed the role of the one who was like dictating what was okay and not okay. What kind of music I should like, how I should dress, It's real weird, man. But again, she wasn't a bad person. She was a 25-year-old girl dating a 21-year-old guy who was crazy. And, you know, when girls are 25, they're like, okay, what am I doing? Am I gonna marry this guy? Am I gonna have kids with this fucking idiot? I think I gotta shape him up. I gotta get him stop listening to Whitesnake.

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Men get this weird thing, man. They get this weird male thing. And women don't get that thing. They get different. They get pitch things. They get their own thing. They get the pitch at each other. But it's not nearly as physical for the most part. It's much more likely that two men are going to throw bones. than two girls. Like when two girls fight, it's like holy shit. They went for it. They're like physically trying to call each other's eyes out. And usually at least one of them is out of their fucking minds. If you get two girls, obviously not talking about martial arts competition. But if you get two girls involved in a street fight, at least one of them is out of their fucking mind. to the best. Like two sane dudes under the right conditions with alcohol involved could beat the shit out of each other. It's very possible. Very possible, especially with alcohol involved. But two girls, pulling hair and clump, I would have adventure. The vast majority of women out there have never been in a fist fight. The vast majority. 80%. Yeah, I think that's a good number. I think 80% is a good number. It's probably not, right? I think they have different things going on. Even if they want to be respected, And they want to be appreciated, it's not the same as the male thing. The male wanting to be respected, especially the young men, it's very difficult to get over just the natural monkey instincts that boys have. Just those natural monkey instincts, they're so goddamn distracting that I think it's maybe this is just the theory, not even biologically why women be sure. in general faster than men. It might just be the lack of the struggle with that male ego.

I do not want you beaten off thinking about how I felt it. So I will stop this conversation right here. It's you know what it's different with different girls, right? Yeah. The different girls you dated. Uh-huh. Some some girls like to get choked.

I'm not going to beat you up. You're going to have to get that from somebody else. Yeah.

It's a dirty thing. Yeah, it's dirty. They don't mean they're dad. They mean they want you to be their daddy in that moment. Not even like a father, but like like the daddy that's given the dick. You know, they don't think it's like a different word. It's a different use of the word daddy. You know, it doesn't mean the same thing. It's like when you call someone captain, sub captain, you don't really think that guy has a boat.

Yeah. Well, she's dating you. Yeah, she's doing some dark shit happened.

Because that means this morning sex like the dad doesn't even have the excuse of being drunk You guys just waste your past coffee and fucks his daughter. That is God Yeah. That's my favorite homework. Yeah, you need to find better people, but you know, you got to work on yourself. All right. I know. Get your own shit in order and you'll attract people.

Gas station boner pillars specifically, Brian has like some gas stations picked out in the valley that he travels to. Yeah, they have Chinese drugs in them that make your dick a totem pole.

Good one. Here's a question. How much you think it would cost us to randomly test the gas station pills that you take and then read the results on the air? It probably have some right now that you've saved.

But you have the packages? Yeah. Okay. Set aside one package of each one that you really enjoy. Black styling. Yeah. Right. I want to set these aside and I want to see how much it costs. I'll go through the US, the UFC labs, whatever they use. I think they use the Navadassia athletic commission. I think uses quest diagnostics, but they test blood. They test blood in urine. We can't do that, but we'll find out a place where we can send it to a lab to get the content sent along. That's what the FDA has done now. Well, honest on it. So I'll just use whatever guys on it's done. But FDA has done it for these ones that you're taking. Yeah.

Do you think they're consistent? Like they're not the same every week.

They're all powder inside.

So, but when you're taking this stuff, does it go down? Or do you have to, like, deal with a hard dick for hours?

Yeah, you don't want to set too high standard.

You would think I was crazy if you paid attention to everything I do and everything I said. But if we could test them within a reasonable financial range, we should totally, if it costs a couple grand or something.

And while I was wondering when you were saying that he hallucinated, it was bath salts.

Funny. Damn, dude. That's so dangerous. He just rolling the dice at these people in this gas station laboratory are not going to kill you.

They don't eat this. Shadow governments and the Philippines. Yeah. Well, this is my question. Like, they have an ingredients, like you just say, like, you look at the package. It just says what's in there?

He's so ridiculous. You know anybody else that takes those things.

Yeah, like um, it's probably like rip fuel. Like that kind of stuff. The fedger or something like that.

Those were horrible for you. But see those things at least other people were taking them. Who the fuck do you know that's taking a pioneer gas station boner pills and we're gonna do it's out there like David Crocket.

It's just such a ridiculous thing to want to put in your body when the alternative exists. Like, you could go to an actual doctor and say, I have a hard time getting an erection. He'll prescribe you Viagre. We all know that doesn't kill you.

That's true. It definitely is that. You don't have to go to a doctor. Yeah. That's right. Well, you just do not have to go to doctors for stuff. You used to be able to get things through Canadian pharmacies. Canadian pharmacies would just send you drugs. It was like the big loophole.

But yeah, I don't know new vigils a little different or maybe one version of it. I know for sure I've read guys saying posting on message board saying that they bought that stuff somewhere online. I think it was the underground.

So this is a new one. Rhino too. This is the one with the hologram. You're not going to be able to probably pick that up.

It's not real. Yeah.

Oh, dude, how bad are these? The email. Look at this. It says, this is hilarious. It says platinum 6000. Like as if there's some like measuring going on. Like, was there a platinum 4,000? Yeah, come on. Why are you pretending you have any ideas? People making these just throwing some shit in a bowl and mix it up while they're drunk. They don't know what the fuck's in there. Platinum 6,000. Fuck you.

Why would you use rhinos?

Well, Rhino is what those Asian people believe that Rhino horns give you erections. That's why they've killed so many rhinos. The reason why Rhino horns were so much. And if you ever seen a Rhino horn, it doesn't even make any sense. They're just gross. It's like hair. It's a giant hard like piece of fingernail or hair. Whereas like if you look at elephant tusks, you go, wow, I kind of get it. That's beautiful. Those are amazing. Right on horns don't look cool. They're gross look at hill. Yeah, look at that. And so they take those things and they make some Chinese medicine that doesn't even work. It doesn't even work. I mean, that doesn't make your dick hard. It's we have Viagra and they're still killing rhinos.

Why would they put a sparagus? Because they want your penis mold difference so that you really feel like something's happening.

And then it has none of that. Maybe both arguments were brought up at the meeting. Well, they were cooking up fucking baths, bathtub, meth.

The problem is, man, I don't want any fucking gangsters coming out. I'm trying to kill us because we out what their products are. You know, because these products are not being made by above board. No. Folks most likely.

Aubrey was telling us what happened. Yes. This is what Aubrey says. I will probably put you in it. But Aubrey said that these people make this stuff. They put in Viagre, which they buy from some Chinese manufacturer. They take that stuff. What is it? Modafeno? Is that what it's called? Okay, so they buy that stuff in bulk. And then they sell it for much more than it would be if they sold it. And like if you sell a prescription for like 100 pills, it'd be X amount of dollars. But if you can stuff it into two gas station bullshit pills and sell each one for 10 bucks, like how much is a rhino two cost?

But if that was, there's only two pills. If that was a bottle of Viagra, I mean, $14. It wouldn't be two pills for $14. It's probably probably like a hundred percent more.

Yeah, I don't I would like to try it, but it's not worth.

Oh, okay. Silled the Nathil. That stuff. Look what it says right. Yeah, why don't I think it was Modafinal Modap isn't Modafinal new vigil. Yeah, that's okay. That's it.

And that's what made me stop these side effects that generally appear when using prescription ED medication. It's funny too because yet the label specifically makes the claim no headache. That's one of the primary complaints about the supplement. Okay. That's what says was in it. Yeah. But what about what he found was in it? Okay. Well, let me just read what it says. Goji, extract, dang, sand, extract, cinnamon, bark, blah, blah, blah, licorice, bunch of bullshit, ginseng. Okay. So what's actually in it?

Oh, so did he say it worked?

Okay. Well, there are things that, okay, one thing I can say is I was rock hard. He says in all caps for like three days on this stuff, which is almost kind of annoying. It depends. Imagine having a hard on when you have to do day to day tasks, tucking your boner into your pants and hoping it doesn't just pop out unexpectedly. Yeah. Wow. So these things really are, but I see I thought you were going to send me something where the guy actually tested it to find out what the ingredients are. That's what I'm interested in.

I don't trust the government. They're lying to us about the chemtrails. The fucking lying was about dick pills.

No, after you take them like the next day you feel like shit. No, you feel worn out.

Why don't they fucking sponsor your podcast?

Dude, he needs sponsors. This should be your first sponsor.

No, no, probably not a good idea. We don't want to be involved in these shady shit.

I'm not really a doctor, but I play one on the internet. It's just fucking stethoscope on. This is Dr. Rhino. I just hold on to a dead Rhino's horn. And the actual, well, you know, we can get that special effects guy. The guy that did the American were off to make a Rhino horn with blood at the bottom of it. Like you just chopped it off like that.

Rhinos are beautiful, man. It is kind of fucked up that they get killed for that one specific reason for those horns.

Look at him. He's stupid. He's stupid eyelashes. He doesn't know shit. But did they chop his horn off to save him? Is that what they did here? Because I know they're doing some weird stuff to save. What does it say? So they just made for better. Oh, farmed game.

Oh, an arm gang reportedly broke into the game preserve. Oh, and then cut the fucking horns off. Still seven Rhino horns from a safe. Oh, so the photo doesn't represent. Is that Photoshop, maybe? Looks real. Either way. They're doing this to elephants. They're painting their tusks, pink. They're dying for their tusks. Yes. For awareness. For awareness. The rhinos on these boner pills all have their horns though, so that's good There's weird that ants and rhinoceros is both supposedly can make boners yeah like ants like me grind up these african ants they can also make boners but rhinoceros horn doesn't work maybe it does maybe it does but there's a lot of that chinese medicine stuff that just doesn't do anything some of it's got to work though i mean they were hit and mess back then when they couldn't do testing you had a hope that you found a guy that was completely legit a guy who really knew how to make magic potions. It's essentially what it was. When they didn't have any data, no internet, no encyclopedias, no fucking medical books to call upon, those fucking people. There's a lot of guessing going on.

It's not real.

Okay, so was it a photo shop thing? Was it a hoax?

Most men people would still take it. They would go do. This is a pink one. There's one they try to save. Sike. It is kind of fucked up, man. It's just such a weird thing that people would do to chop off a part of an animal's face to try to get their dick hard. This is, you know, it'd be one thing if there wasn't an alternative. Don't you think that was really awesome you had heard about it though?

Okay, why don't you Google can rhino horns really give you an erection or just put rhino bone or he won't do it because it's his laptop.

Well, how about write your directions? Why are you why you doing it? A rectangle dysfunction. That's what I'm looking for. Bam. Dude, if it helped you with a rectangle dysfunction and cancer, why Agra and species protection? Oh, my God. What was I saying? It was speculative. Yeah, it's too small. What is all speculation so far? But the anti-impetence drug Viagra blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Diaggress, y'all's, or powdered rhino horn, which one is the most effective? Click on that one. Above top secret, definitely going to be legit if it's on above top secret, especially if it's in a forum. Is it possible in this day and age 21st century, there's still men out there that honestly believe that powdered horn of an animal that has been butchered sometimes on blah, blah, blah. It's had its horned removed by a chainsaw, it's still be effective, cure for rectal dysfunction. Are we really still this backward? Shouldn't the medical companies that are the marketing men's, that are marketing men's, which are supposed to be temporary cures for this problem, be targeting the men, mainly oriental Asian racist? Wow, I am sure, who are directly responsible for the death of so many Rhino. Rhino. Isn't it the way to say it or rhinos? Right now. But it sounds better, like you're sophisticated. Like deer. All right. So many rhinos. Octupy. I'm a fan of Octupy. I thought that most far Eastern countries were actually quite progressive, but they themselves are proving that they are not exclamation point. First of all, fuckface. There's a billion people in China alone. One billion. There's not that many people chop and off rhino horns. If you compare them to the idiots that we have here in America, just by capita, you know, the a number of people that are scarfing up rhino horn in Asia. First of the number of people here, they're chewing on basalt. It's probably way more basal people here than Rhino horn people there. Like that's a totally racist thing to say, sir, for someone who's so concerned with the health and welfare of these Rhino's side. This guy's an idiot. Yeah. Why don't he's a guy in a forum? It's easy to be an idiot on a forum. It's easy to be an idiot. You know, but I just, I don't understand why, like there's, there seems to be like an easy cure for that. Like if you just got them some of that gas station boner pills, they wouldn't want to have anything to do with a rhino horn. A rhino horn's worth thousands of fucking dollars.

Yeah. We gotta find out, man. I bet we would be a pioneer. I'd be the first person to actually do a scientific test on these pills, including the people that made them. I bet they never tested shit. They don't know what the fuck's in there, probably. You know, when we had some of the earlier versions of Alpha Brain, we would run these random tests on them. We would find out that there would be like B12 in there, something like that, or creatine, or it wasn't creatine. It was B12. I would have to ask Aubrey. I'm talking on my ass. But the bottom line was the mixers that they used for our stuff when they combined all of our stuff. They didn't clean it out. So they had whatever was in there before. Even though those just trace a trace amount, they don't give up.

talk, fart, get on the radio, maybe spit in there. People are assholes.

Yeah, this is definitely a boner in this way.

I think there's some dudes that have a trailer right outside the freeway, like under an underpass, they're cooking it, right in plain sight.

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The NBR people are in the getting hard on.

More than gold.

Look at this smuggler. The guy gives name sits behind rhino horn CO. They're seized at the airport. Wow.

Like a fat, it became popular, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, That's what you think? We tied official who used to approve construction projects in the Vietnamese government, got his stash of Rhino horn. Boy began taking Rhino horn to recover from drinking binges with contractors. Every time a drink out, go home and grind the horn and drink it, says boy, a 65-year-old grandfather of two. An hour later, I throw up and feel sober again. That chick, like, sitting on his breakfast table, he unwrapped his piece of newspaper to reveal a small, green block of Rhino Horn. He received as a gift. Whoa. Blue Paul pours water into his, especially made bowl with a rough bottom and grinds the block of horn into a milky white liquid. The grinding creates an odor that smells like burned hair. So because Rhino Horn contains character and the main component fingernails and hair. He says that the value of Rhino horn grew, as the value of Rhino horn grew, it became a kind of currency. Oh, it's fucked. It's a part of their culture. That's fucked. That's fucked that they're like trading in, giving it to officials and bosses.

Well, Cuban cigars were the thing, because Cuban cigars up until I really recently were illegal. We could come up one right now.

Who brought these in?

Kojubas. God damn it. Who brought him to us?

Was it Aubrey?

Was it Chris Ryan?

Pretty funny on that. That's Chris McGuire is the EP that show. Such a good show. Powerful Chris McGuire. We're here smoking Cuban cigars. You allowed to smoke them now. You don't want to say about Cuba man. They say you got to get to Cuba now. They'll like get there now. It's going to get because it's going to turn into fucking Applebees. It's going to be like six months for now. It'll be a motomeria. I write the end of it.

He's dried out. They're going to be shooting.

Yeah, broke apart. It's dry. We didn't put them in a humid door. I thought they were in these. There's different kinds of these tubes and some of these tubes are sealed. These ones are just kind of screwed down. Let's see. People hear that sounds. That's a sound to me being a man. Someone going to cigar a Cuban by the way. Probably fake. Just chewing on it. Don't you want to get you sick? I treat the back one. I was kid because I read Tom Sorin, Huckleberry Fem, which is now censored.

Yeah, it's a real Chew, like you buy a brick on it. Well, be in men here. Men. Want to turn that air conditioning thing on behind you? And we'll get some hot flow up in this pitch. Um, but we're talking, oh yeah, so it was like a brick that looked like maybe like a packet gum or something like that and you pull it apart and you bite into the brick and pull off chunks of tobacco and chew on it and I almost threw up ones. Maybe I did throw up, but I was like, all right, this is stupid. But I got into it because of Tom Soyer and Huckleberry Finn.

Yeah, but you get highest fuck off these things. Tobacco has some sort of psychoactive properties to it for sure. And I think that they use it in a lot of ayahuasca rituals where they light tobacco smoke and they blow it in your face while you're tripping. And both Aubrey and Amber Lyon when they did it were talking about that. It's definitely got like, I've smoked cigars before and got some really good ideas. Well, I was like, well, my brain's flying.

Yeah, probably would. Yeah. You know Eddie Bravo will submit a cigarette every now and then. Mm-hmm.

Well, of health-wise, yeah, the risk. Yeah, they were saying that it's like a new tropic that it actually stimulates brain function. But if that's the case, then you're just talking about the nicotine. So I've done before shows, I've sucked on those blue cigarettes. First of all, because I want to be Steven Dorf, secretly. And second of all, because they do give you like a little pep, like a cup of coffee type pep. You know, yeah, but that's not as strong as it's cigarette, right?

I should smoke a cigarette before going stage. Yeah, see with what it just one time.

The problem is, um, people get addicted. You know, I'm not going to do it. Like, I'm not going to get addicted to cigarettes.

Yeah, that could be a problem. Even if you only smoked two cigarettes a weekend over the course of your life, that's a lot of cigarettes. Yeah, but you're old enough to do it now. Well, Eddie does. That's the only reason why I would think there'd be a way to do it is because Eddie, Eddie just will smoke a cigarette every now and again, like he might smoke once a month or every two months or something like that. And I'm like, wow, what is I like it? Look at every now and then, every now and then, I'll have one. That's interesting.

We're talking about Joey, not Nate. I'll make our next one. Bye. But they as you do even after he quit he would go outside and take a cigarette from you smoke one like right before show There's definitely some benefit in nicotine definitely. I just would I would wonder Maybe I should just smoke a cigar before going stage like what gives you more of a rush

This is what we're going to do. We're going to go old timey men. Not not like men from the 60s and 70s. We're gonna go old time. You're like 30s and 20s. We're gonna start smoking pipes. Oh, no man. The only reason why I wanted to watch that show is because that redheaded grow. The buzz of me redheaded grow so hot. I want to watch that. I want your girls just not afraid to put some pounds on.

Those fuck you up, man. I'd never really do splits. I'm not a split guy, but when I was hanging out with Charlie Murphy, I did. So Charlie Murphy would roll all of them. So you'd be taking in the weed with the nicotine together. I got higher than probably any other time before in my life doing shows with Charlie. Charlie Murphy's one of the coolest fucking guys in the world. He really is. I love that guy. He's just such a good dude, such a solid guy. and he smokes the shit out of those blunts.

Yeah. Totally normal. Super common. I guess more of age. Do they say y'all a lot and your man throw their hands around like gang songs?

You like the smell. I love it. Don't know what you're talking about. But I don't love it as much as pipes. And that's what I was thinking of. It wasn't a Bertrand Russell. I think who was a of a famous inveterate pipe smoker tobacco addict brilliant man and back in the day. He wouldn't fly unless he could smoke on the plane. He wouldn't fly. He said, yeah, there is. That's him. He's got a story about on tobacco. Once you find, find the YouTube clip, Bertrand Russell on tobacco, fascinating guy, because that guy lived in the dark ages of information, as far as the modern world, the world of photography and the ability to document things. So to get a guy like this on a YouTube video,

I just said it was a plane crash. Right? He sacrificed that story for all the ones. He's a plane crash bro.

Like, if the liars got together, and they had like, liar conventions, like, the years that the internet came out and they'd be like, boys, we got some problems. We got some problems in the horizon. We got to figure out way to lie better. This is how you got to cover your tracks, like liars. It used to be super common to be completely full of shit, particularly about your martial arts background. There was a lot of really crazy people when I was a kid that will claim in martial arts master. And they would walk around with like Chinese kung fu outfits on and shit and slippers. They would walk around with those ninja shoes, where they had the toe that was split. You ever seen those shoes? I've seen dudes walk around with kung fu outfits and represent two completely different countries. The kung fu outfit is from Japan. The ninja slippers are from Japan. The kung fu outfit is from China rather than ninja outfit is from Japan. These motherfuckers are mixed and matched. They're different styles of triangular.

Well, the fun of the plane. Well, I'll see you have to think of when you're watching a guy like Bertrand Russell. How what when did when was that film, did say? If he was talking about how it's saved his life, that had to be before they made that shitty ass old grainy movie, which was in black and white. So it's probably a long fucking time ago when planes were made out of fucking gum wrappers.

Who knows when it happened?

Yeah. You'd cool. Yeah, like a cloth wrap around the bottom of it. Yeah, remember those.

What? A flying boat? What? Why are you mentioning that Bertrand? Flying boat.

It's true. Damn. Among the survivors were the philosopher, Bertrand Russell. Wikipedia and citation needed. Look at the feet. Look at the feet. Yeah, it's awesome. Although it does say I'm five nine and Brian counts my brother. I don't know why. Maybe he added that. Brian, you know, I think, is in my, um, one of the things, oh, uh, shiny, nope, not shiny, happy G. I'm gonna be dead someday. the sketch that Brian County and I did in my parents basement where we're banging each other, we're working out, we're getting pumped.

Well, maybe it's just for fun. People did it. And he looks like my brother. He totally looks like he'd be my brother. Like we just grew in different directions. He went north and south and I went east and west. Well, like, he stretched his face out and he stretched his shoulder out. It's very similar in a lot of ways. But he's, um, reminds me of my brother. But, uh, yeah, Wikipedia is wrong by a lot of shit. Says I have Crohn's disease too, at least he used to, which I don't.

Somebody be in funny. Somebody be in silly. I can't. I didn't want to change any of it. I think it's funny. I like what the internet does for the most part. I think a little bit of disinformation makes a little people go, what? Wait. Are you throughs? I like that. Like even when those stupid stories come out like I killed a mountain line with a belt. My own sister called me up. My own fucking sister. She's like, was that true? Like, what are you talking about? You can't kill a mountain line with a bell. You don't think I'd call you if I did. I'd be like, strap yourself in, sister, because your brother's a fucking gangster.

I'll be straight around my underwear with scars all over my body. I'd have all the gauze, like with the blood oozing through all the stitches, which I would be fucking covered with. Because even if you would survive a mountain line attack, you're going to fire the unsc- if you go to guys code on Instagram, guys code on Instagram is an excellent little Instagram page that has a lot of pictures of girls butts. Um, but the great butts, like you look at their acids, you go, good Lord. Why is that so appealing to look at? You know, even if someone knows it's never going to get near that girl, much less be able to squeeze it from behind. Did you want to? And so it's worth looking at. Like it gives you that little, ooh, so they're providing you with a little pleasure when they show you their asses and those pictures, those wonderful gals of the Instagram. But guys code had this picture of this guy who was like in the 1800s killed a leopard with his bare hands. He got attacked by a leopard in Africa. And it wasn't a giant one. But it was big enough to fuck you up, man. And he was all wrapped up in stitches. But the thing was dead next to him and his arms and a sling. I mean, he's fucked up. And when you got fucked up back then, you got fucked up for keeps. Like they didn't fix. There was no stem cells. They didn't have ACL surgery. I mean, I would literally be crippled. Both of my knees would be completely shot because I had, there's the guy. Was his name Carl Agley, A. K. E. L. E. Y. And they have them down there as badass of the week. And it's got a leopard that shit. How much think that weighs? I don't know, but it's at least 60 pounds.

Dude, that thing would kill you. Yeah. Fuck yeah. Are you kidding me? Just think of the other thing probably kill me. I mean, I think that guy Probably got real lucky. The cat was probably sick, which is why I was trying to attack and kill a person in the first place. I mean, that does happen. They get sick. They get old. They sometimes their teeth get worn out and they can't kill something big anymore. So that's one of the problems with certain animals. When they, their predators, they start picking on people because they can't get animals anymore. And people are so goddamn slow. So what do you say?

I felt no pain, but I certainly never thought for a moment that I would come out alive. I was rather calm as a matter of fact, except for a tremendous and wildly pleasant thrill I felt knowing that I was battling for my life. What a fucking man.

That's why he survived. What year was this? What does it say? I can't say.

1864.

Okay, he might be a dick. Yeah. He's probably got my son. He might have been like the fucking crocodile hunter of his days. Just threatening animals. Or you might, you know, if you're an Africa for a long enough time, you probably get jacked. So he was born in 1865. So how old do you think he was in that picture of probably 30, right? Yeah. Scroll up, Jimmy, when we get a look at him,

It's like Kyle Kineen. Yeah. That's a hard drink in 35. That's it. Depends. That leopard, that leopard would fuck you up with fuck me up. If we had in this studio, you know, terrified would be.

You're out of your mind. Have you ever held on to a cat that wants to get away with you? Have you have cats? Have you ever wash your cat? Yeah. Yeah. They try to kick and fucking twist and they get mad at you. Pure muscle. You know, I have two of the sweetest cats in the world until you try to give them a bath. Those little fuckers want to go to war with you. Like settle down. We're just getting wet. Right. Settle down. wash yourself bitch, you got a dirty ass. So when they're fluffy, fluffy cats come out of the litter box where the ego disaster hanging off their asshole. They can't clean it. It's not supposed to exist in nature. You're never supposed to have an asshole with all these feathers all around here. They can catch shit. What do you got there Jamie for?

So what was he? Was he a hunter?

last night and they were talking about how the buffalo were decimated and how they were shipping these truck loads or trains you know train carriages filled with buffalo meat back to the east coast buffalo meat became high in demand and then buffalo hides were high in demand and they were showing in this this thing that I was watching stacks of skins just stacks of skins and of skulls and you just look at it like what How did you do this? How did you guys not think that this was a terrible idea? Look at that. Look at those stacks of skulls. There's a stacks that go all the way up to the top of that railroad cart. I mean, that's fucking bananas. This episode is brought to you by SimplySafe. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home. Get a peace of mind with SimplySafe. It's advanced home security that puts you first. And these guys are some of the best in the business. They were named US News and world reports best home security system for five years running. And I think part of that is because simply safe has some of the most advanced systems out there with 24-7 professional monitoring and low upfront costs. Believe it or not, they have monitoring plans for less than a dollar a day. Picture this. You've been traveling for days. You come home to see your house has been broken into everything's a mess. They took off a lot of your valuables. And now your home doesn't feel as secure as it did before. With simply safe, that might have been avoided. Their systems and agents could have helped stop the crime in real time. Using this smart alarm, wireless indoor camera, they could have seen, spoken to and even deterred the burglars while sending the police. and you get to go on with your life knowing that simply save has you covered. It's time to get the protection that you deserve. Try out simply save today, risk free. Right now, the listeners of this podcast can get an exclusive 20% discount on a new system with fast-protect monitoring. Just go to simply save.com slash rogan. That's simply save.com slash rogan. There's no safe, like simply save. This episode is brought to you by Mizzon and Maine, no matter where you're listening, no matter what job you have, the clothes you wear to work say a lot about you. And if you're wearing boring, stiff, uncomfortable dress shirts, well, now might be the time to ditch some of the dated boring styles in your workplace wardrobes, and that's exactly what Mizzon and Maine is for. When I wear my shirt, I feel like I'm not sacrificing comfort for style. Their performance fabric, dress shirts, feel just as good as they look. And you could put on a mizzon and mane and dress for the job you have. You will see it hanging in your closet and genuinely get excited to put it on. And if you're still dry cleaning your dress shirts, you're living in the past. Welcome to 2024, where Ms. and Maine has the world's most comfortable machine washable dress shirts. Ms. and Maine invented the performance fabric dress shirt 10 years ago and they've practically perfected the thing. It's lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking, wrinkle-resistant, and the most comfortable shirt on the market. Whatever you do, and wherever you wear it, know that you'll look and feel amazing. Shop now at masoninmain.com and save 20% when you spend $130 or more using the promo code Joe Rogan. stacks of skins. Look at these skins. I mean, they were just wiping out hundreds of thousands of them. Like how many did they wipe out a year? Because you got to assume like that stuff is probably recently come off the animal.

It's so crazy what they did. got to get this guy in the podcast is named Dan Flores and I found out about him from Steve Renella and he has a very interesting hypothesis or well he's a scientist so he has in a story and I believe as well so he has maybe not a scientist either way His take on what happened with the buffalo is essentially, I might put you this, but that when the first Europeans came to North America, they didn't find evidence of buffalo. They talked about everything else. They talked about bear. They talked about deer. They talked about elk. They talked about all these different animals that we know exist here, but they didn't really talk about buffalo. they he believes with the sheer numbers of buffalo that that existed a hundred years later it seems highly improbable that they wouldn't talk about them and his take is that what happened was when Europeans started showing up in America they brought with them a lot of diseases and those diseases that they gave these people these people like first of all like there's a there's a common myth apparently that they gave them syphilis in the form of scabs in blankets. So they put scabs in blankets and game to the Native Americans. As far as I know, that's not true. Not only that, they didn't know about bacteria then. They didn't know that that's how it was spread. They didn't know that you would give someone a scab and that the actual tissue from the scab would cause the disease. The knowledge of how disease was spread was not that sophisticated back then. As far as what I read, But what he's saying is that when the Europeans came here and they introduced these new diseases that they had, that the natives didn't have any immune systems for, it fucking devastated the population. And he said that that is responsible for as many deaths as anything else to the Native Americans that lived here. They just got fucking completely wiped out by European diseases. When that happened, The Native Americans were responsible for keeping the buffalo populations in check and had been doing so pretty efficiently ever since that the horse was brought to North America. Because before the Europeans came here, Native Americans didn't have horses. They weren't on horses. So the horses that we depict the Wild West, the Native Americans right around the horse, so how they've always been, no, no, they were always like You know, like really nomadic people that live in Brazil or something like that in the rainforest or Ecuador or something like that. They weren't on horses. So they got the horses from the North Americans, but they also got the diseases. And while they had the horses, they were on the way to, in his words, extrapating the buffalo from their domain, which means a local extinction. so they were already doing such an efficient job of killing the buffalo from horses because they'd run up on horses and just fucking arrow the shit out of these buffalo and they were ruthlessly effective because they were on a horse so they could get that horse right up with the buffalo because a buffalo's full clip is about 40 miles an hour but a horse can run about 50-60 you know and especially like a really strong horse So these guys would just run up on these fucking herds of buffalo and blast them with arrows and kill them and then they got guns. And once they got guns, good, googly, moogly between horses and rifles. I mean, they were fucking these buffalo up. So what happened was they got almost wiped out and the buffalo came back strong. So when they saw these millions of buffalo out on these prairies, that was an overabundance. That was a rare cycle in time that corresponded with the death of the Native Americans. And this is his paper that he wrote. Buffalo Ecology, I think something, something Buffalo Ecology, his name's Dan Flores. See if we could find, I think it's one of those university papers though, that you probably have to have. some sort of a membership and it's like one of those things that that kid got in trouble for releasing for free. Remember that kid that won up kill on himself? Oh, there's a PDF. What does it say? Bison ecology and bison diplomacy, that's it. The Southern Plains from 1800 to 1850. Really, really interesting stuff, because we're finding out more and more about the history of this country, obviously, because we still have Columbus Day. I mean, the fact that we still have a day named after a guy who didn't even get here. He landed in the West Indies, right? Is that where you landed? The Bahamas are some shit.

He's a murderer. What else? Columbus is a mass murderer. If you go to the, there was a missionary or someone that was there at the time of Columbus that detailed the horrors of what they did to the Native American people that they found, would try to get these people to give them gold. I mean, the fucking horrors, they would cut off body parts. and send these people out. They would cut their arms off if they didn't bring back a certain amount of weight in gold. They would smash babies on the rocks. They would take their children from them and smash them in the rocks. We're talking about boat boats filled with serial killers. And we have a holiday where kids get off school for a guy who ran a boat of serial killers that came across the ocean and just laid waste to everybody in front of them.

Yeah, I'm high as fuck off this. I think the weed, the weed helps. But I don't know how we got on this. Bison's I was watching Buffalo blah, blah, blah.

Oh yeah, that dude that I posted yesterday was at CJW underscore photography that guy's Instagram page. He got a hold of me and he's making that wolf. The wolf with the snow is going to put on a steel plate and send it to us. We're going to put it up here.

Yeah, and that's like one of the most dope nature photographs ever. If you're using a brand, pull it up. It's on my Instagram page is the one of specific. It's got this wolf and his face is covered in snow. And he's looking at you, not the one that we showed John Dudley. My friend, John, who was on here yesterday, dude, he fought a pack of wolves off. It was trying to take his elk. Well, yeah, well barefoot like what do you do two two guides to barefoot? Do you use only his asshole? How does his feet? He was in Alberta. He shot an elk and his wolves started circling and they ran in and they were trying to scare him off the elk and he shot one and then the other wolves showed up and they started howling in circling them. Look at that fucking picture. It's how dope is that picture? God damn. I want to he's gonna come to the shows one of the shows at the Philmore in San Francisco and I want to talk to him and find out how he took this and where was he?

Yeah, and to get this perfect shot. God, what a cool animal.

Yeah, you got to be. You got to be a bold motherfucker to get that photo. I mean, because you can only be so far away, right?

Like how close would you be able to like that? So it could be cry death.

Yeah. It's hard. I would imagine you'd be closer. He's got to be crazy. Um, if you go to seed, go to his Instagram. There's a picture of that wolf with another wolf there. Oh, look at that. That's sweet. Yeah, he's got a bunch of opcat dope shit. Yeah, that's a bobcat. I think we're links one of those. Look at those mountain lines. He's got to look at that one. Look at his lips as a gene Simmons mountain line.

Well, kiss wasn't in the rock and roll Hall of Fame forever. So if I was him, I'd be like fuck the rock and roll Hall of Fame. Well, if I was him, I'd be like fuck the rock and roll Hall of Fame.

Well, if I was him, I'd be like fuck the rock and roll Hall of Fame. Well, if I was him, I'd be like fuck the rock and roll Hall of Fame. Well, if I was like fuck the rock and roll Hall of Fame. Well, if I was like fuck the rock and roll Hall That's it. We'll scroll up then. Pause boutique dude is a rock and roll album. Or, I mean, I don't know what, how is that it? No, man, that's it.

Oh, there it goes.

Yeah, he's got great photos. Oh, amazing, man. No, that's not it, Jamie. There's one scroll down the exact same pose of that wolf, but he's with another wolf. Why is it? Oh, there it goes. It's weird.

God damn Instagram. You know what it is? They went up to 60 second videos and their shits getting hammered. Yeah. Hammer time. There's another thing that I posted there. It is right there. There's another thing that I posted. That is the exact same wolf, but with another wolf next to him. That might even be more badass. Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, that's way better.

Yeah, he did. If you're listening scratch that, make me one of these. Make me the double wolf. Fuck, that's amazing. God damn, that's crazy. Holy shit what a picture the guy deserves like an award for that picture like that might be I'm gonna say it is that's the coolest wildlife photograph I've ever seen Wow Because, yeah, it was undeniably cool. The photo looks so rare with, I mean, how do you get a wolf with all that snow all over his face like that? What are the odds you're going to capture that? And then another one, the same size, right next to him, maybe his wife, the wife will, maybe the wolf's not left, that's a wife.

You mother fuck, you only kill five elk. You're so fucking lazy.

Because of an animal to get out there. Yeah, Chris, you're a fucking animal. I mean, That's a Timberwolf. Yeah, man. I think that's a Yellowstone. Jesus. Those are a yellow. They have a lot of them in Yellowstone. It's crazy. There's a cool video that I posted or a photo I posted today from National Geographic. The National Geographic Instagram page is another one I'm fucking completely addicted to. Every other day they have some just whoa photo. Well, you look and you go fuck God damn it. And today was these two bears that were dukeed it out in Yellowstone. Look at the size of these fucking beasts. Look at the claws on him. The claws that are on that ones back as their fight is two giant ass fucking grizzlies are going at it. And one of them has Wolverine style razor blades coming out of his front arm. Fuck man. Another John Dudley story, John, who was here yesterday, he saw a bear kill of moose. He was there when a grizzly swatted a moose in the back and broke its back. He said the bear was chasing the moose. They got into conflict. The bear got on top of him and swatted his back and broke it. He said he broke his back with one swipe. He also talked about this cabin that they had in the woods where this bear broke into the cabin, pulled the wall apart, pulled the door frame and the door off the wall with these nine inch spike nails all around it. Then there was a stove inside that smelled like food. He crushed the stove to the ground like he would stomp on a soda can. Just to ooze out whatever fat and grease was inside the stove. Fuck bears, man. Fuck that. So crazy that we want more of those. We're like, we need to save those. We need them everywhere. And the wolves too. We're like, oh, they're so awesome, keep them. That thing's a killing machine looking right through your eyes. It's cool that they're exist though. You know, I mean, it would be kind of cool if dinosaurs were still here, too. If there was like a real Jurassic Island. You know, that's suck. Come on, man. The only thing you have to go there, it was like an island like New Zealand.

Probably not New Zealand. We want to do that to those two. Yeah. They can get too big. Well, they don't have New Zealand as like crazy wildlife situation because New Zealand is a fairly recent continent or island as far as I know as far like the volcanic activity of the earth and there wasn't a lot of land masses connecting it to other places. So they have some indigenous wildlife. Like a bunch of weird animals to shed. But they also have a lot of stuff that is non-native that was brought in, like all these hunting animals. These really rich dudes a long time ago. basically turn New Zealand into a hunting preserve. And they just let these stags loose, these European deer, these red deer and stags, stags is like a European form of elk. And they let all these things loose all throughout New Zealand, but they don't have any mountain lions, they don't have any bobcats, they don't have wolves, they don't have coyotes, they don't have anything that kills these things. So they have to send people out there to kill them. Like people are just killing them constantly. And when some of the populations of some of the animals get too high, they have to fly over them and fucking gun them down from the sky.

You know, did you see what's going on with Fukushima? Fukushima has a problem with radioactive wild boars. There's like hundreds of radioactive wild boars that have taken over that area because you know, the people aren't really there anymore. And they're running rampant and they have a problem with them. They don't know what to do. They have radioactive wild pigs. Look at this fucking thing. Thousands of, oh, I said hundreds. Thousands of radioactive boars are overrunning farmland in Fukushima. But look at the photos of them. They have some photos of these fucking boars. Um, maybe different article. Yeah, there's a good one. That might be stock footage though. Yeah, wild boar stock sink. I'm a fucking internet wizard dude. I know. It's probably all the photos are probably stock, but there was one video of this guy who had like a radioactive suit on like he was some sort of a scientist and these boars were chasing him. Yeah, they all look stock, but whatever. Yeah, what the fuck's gonna go there to take those pictures? What is this? other radioactive dudes. Those the the board themselves. They have a real problem. Those things start turning into like some comic book superhero type character powers. I mean, think of these things a radioactive. Like what if they start morphing? What if they become super smart? Because we already know the boards are smart. Like pigs are supposed to be smarter than dogs, right? Oh, there they are. This is as the real ones run it down the street. Lots of them. Slam it into the fucking fence trying to get how this cage they caught him in Good luck good luck Japan. They have by the way that that thing is still leaking thousands of gallons of radioactive shit into the water every day

Did they? Yeah, they sealed that a long time ago. But that was bad. They said it was like every car in the United States, the emissions from every car in the United States in one day. Wow, I might have made that number right. So far, powerful desk quadcopp, I like this one, man. Is that what I'm drinking out of? It's available right now at deskwa.tv, Brian Red band creations.

I think horse. Only horse. You just have to love Dick so much that you take in so much calm that this calm just rushes and no one egg wins. Yeah. Maybe a dude who's just got a lot of calm. Maybe that's what makes it. Maybe super aggressive calm.

That definitely happens. That happens with older ladies. That's like John and Kate plus eight. Remember that chicken like seven fucking babies inside of her? And well, no, eight inside of her and then two additionally. They had two first and then inside they wanted more. And so they filled themselves up with babies. And remember that show? Boy, that was an interesting show because that was a show that kind of showed how much pressure of the average person gets under when you're under the microscope. Like people that behave like totally normal. They think their behaviors totally normal but then also they're under the microscope and the whole world sees that and then they get criticized and freaked on and then next thing you know, they can't handle it anymore and they break up. and then John, you know, was forced to get like regular jobs, they'd catch them dating women, and it was, you know, they would let hell in the guy. Remember that? It was really ugly. It was really ugly. And, you know, the poor fucking kids, man. Yeah, almost. It's just weird. So I guess they had six. And then they had two previous, then they had six babies inside of her. And that's all those fertility drugs for sure. That's weird, man. It's weird. You know, because it's also weird because I thought, pretty sure there were strictly religious one thing.

Well, not really because see, like, God says be fruitful and multiply, but it doesn't say anything about taking fertility drugs in order to make that happen. You know, and if it's God's plan, is it all God's plan when a scientist steps in? Is it God's plan because the scientist is here? Did God make the scientist? You know, where do you draw the line? As far as, like, what God wants? Because if that's true, someone invented a portion. Was it God's plan to make a portion? Is God's plan for everything?

Again, horse. Horse. Was it fertility pills or nothing?

You know when you die how you like shit yourself and all the piss and everything comes out if you have an in you right well, I'm sure there's something it's like you have an anal sex with a girl I used to do meth Eddie Bravo always said that's the way to go because they don't eat Brian's a light bulb went off. They don't eat and their apartments are squeaky clean all they do is like clean their apartments

Because they definitely be some, I would imagine if they fed them before they just strung them up there. It's interesting too, because they always show the crucifixion marks through the hands. But apparently that's not capable of supporting your body. They go through the wrist. They go to the fauna. Yeah. Well, that makes sense, because that's how you hang a deer. You go through the ligament behind the knee and you pull like a stick through it.

What I did, you know, there was a story that Danielle Bolelli of history on fire he's got an awesome podcast history on fire in the opening podcast he has a pilot like episode zero zero and then he says episode one in an episode one he tells a story that he told on this podcast about this I believe it was the Romans had hung up Some insane like a hundred miles of bodies something crazy like that like what was that the actual number I remember you're saying that right now was like the whole marching the whole pathway the whole road road to wherever it was a hundred miles or whatever fuck it was was just like every X amount of meters they had a body that was crucified just all all along the road Like, that was how people used to roll back then. They used to scare the shit out of people. There was no, like, hiding the photos of the caskets. No, they hung people on sticks, stuffed them into the ground.

They crucified 6,000 people. Jesus Christ. People were brutal back then. I mean, I guess they're brutal today. Um, there was an article that I tweeted earlier today are retweeted that, um, Wizard and Jen, briny, how do you say our last name? Um, she's the one who has that political podcast supposed to be good. What is her name? But anyway, the article is about a guy, she retweeted something from I think it was from the Guardian, where a guy wrote what it feels like to be on the drone kill list, and that he made his way into Europe specifically, because he was worried that they were going to kill him with a drone, and that he used to hide it and sleep under trees, so that his family air, Jen Bryney. How do you spell? BRI, anyway. That this guy would sleep under trees. It was in the independent Sleep under trees to protect his family because no one wanted to be near him because he was on the fucking kill list for drones.

It's a video, but the video looks insane, but the doom billboard makes you want to play doom. What is this? Flying chainsaw.

Oh my god. This is hilarious. There's flying over in Jack and still man in the head. Cutting off Isaac goes.

This thing's cutting limbs off trees. And then they have another drone flying around and taking video of it, which is hilarious. when a weird world we're living in today, man.

It seems right up your alley. Yeah. Pull up the drone. I'm not the drone. The doom footage. Show Brian the doom. Go full screen, please. And don't play a shit until it's ready. Yeah, dude, wait to see this. The multiplayer looks so badass. It's like quake three on crack. I shouldn't say that. On steroids? And from hell, you know, those hacks hangs from crack on crack, from hell, much less. Look at this. Look at the graphics first of all.

Totally. Well, it's software. It's the same guys. All right. Oh, this looks so fun. All right. Should we Brian? Should we get a LAN party in here? Fuck yeah. We should we should should we? Yeah. Why? Okay. What is the company that? Oh my god. What is the company that we should buy our PCs from?

We should get Alienware because Alienware use the sponsors. So just out of loyal team respect. We should get Alienware. So what should contact Alienware? Let them know. We're going to set up a fucking land party up on this adventure.

I can tell. Well, we'll have some fun. What I want to do though, Brian, is you and me do this and we'll go on Twitch.

Oh, suck it. That shouldn't happen.

Everybody that's on Twitch should keep their fucking shirt on. How about that? Except to meet me, Tris Mighty Mouse Johnson. And I think John Dodson's on Twitch too. Jack, you're on Twitch. Yeah, all those guys can take their shirt off. Everybody else keep your fucking disgusting man boobs away from my creescreen.

What the fuck you found? Well, you like to, don't lie to me. So Alienware, if you're listening and hook us up, or Falcon Northwest, you wanna bring us over. Yeah.

I'm pretty sure they both sponsored fighters. I'm pretty sure. Did they? Yeah. So I'm town down with all, but loyalty to Alienware for two reasons. One, because we used to use them. I used to run the podcast, my version of it, you know, when I used to, research stuff that was all from the Alienware back then. That was cool. I liked it. It was a big ass fucking screen. Who did I give that to?

Somebody who plays games.

Was it Justin? Probably was Justin. I think he sold it.

Yeah. Dude, I'm infatuated with the Lenovo think pads. I read this review of a Lenovo think pad. It has 15 hours of battery life. It's supposed to have the most tactile feeling keyboard. Like this guy was did a review of it and he said that the keyboard itself, I saved it all. He said that the keyboard itself was so good that it actually up to his words per minute faster than his average watch, which I was like, what? How is that even possible?

We always say that. All right. Lenovo ThinkPad T50 review and it's on laptop magazine.

I'm just laptop mag.com. Yeah, but I mean, have you tried the newest Windows? Like, what is like Windows? What do we on now? Windows 10 for real? That's hilarious. But it's supposed to, the keyboard's supposed to be amazing and the battery life's supposed to be crazy. I'm just bored. That's why I try something else. I know that Apple and also you can take the battery out. You have a separate battery. Remember when you could do that? Yes, I like that. I like the fact that you keep a fucking full battery with you.

Well, my galaxy until the recent one, my Samsung galaxy had that and it was waterproof and you could take the battery out. It was still waterproof. Got it, damn it. You can use to build a carrying extra battery. Throwing your laptop bag and your laptop was running out of bag, close it, pop that bitch out, pop the new in. You're back in action fully loaded.

When I went hunting I brought one with me that I didn't even want to be using because I was so tired at the end I was like I am going to document this like William Shakespeare I'm going to be like Hemingway out there in the field fuck that the end of the day you've walked 14 miles up mountains your exhaust and you don't want to do shit You take a shit in the woods dig a hole Go back to your 10 pass out, but I carried it around it was probably like least 10 pounds was huge But it worked Worked when you need it

No, fuck iPad. Yeah. I like a button, man. I'm a tactile person. I like to feel buttons. Like even, it took me a long time to get used to the iPhone. But the iPhone's benefits of touching the screen, you know, having the full screen real estate for videos and photographs and email, it's so worth it. It's so worth it. Because I know that Blackberry came out with a new one with a giant ass screen and then the thing slides out the bottom and then you have a keyboard, not buying it. No. Enough is enough.

You can't save files. I can't. No, you can't. You can't like put like Microsoft Word files in a folder on your desktop.

Oh, it's a close to you.

Oh, similar. Does it go in the cloud or is it a

You can save it on something. So offline use it's cached.

Because sometimes you're in a green room and you're listening to some CNC music factory and shit. I don't want to hear when I get ready for a show. I want to hear my shit. So I put on some cool music. It's great, man. It's great. I have one of those little things because it's so small.

But no, there've been some bad fucking music. There've been some bad music.

I think there's something really shitty. From a long time ago.

I have a thing to make you go, hmm.

Yeah, they do that a lot. But sometimes they get good songs. Like there was a place where at the other day in Santa Barbara. We did the Arlington Theater, which was fucking awesome. Hinch Cliff Diaz and I did this theater in Santa Barbara's great fucking. I love Santa Barbara. That's my spot dude. That is the spot. I'm always talking about it anymore. I don't want to talk anymore. I don't want anybody to know about it. So it's such a nice city.

Grow some cattle. Woo! But anyway, my point being, they had, they were playing some music. I saved them on my show of the land. And it was, uh, it was some sort of, um, Spanish music, like some Spanish rock that I'd never heard of before. And they're singing it in Spanish. I was like, God damn, this is awesome. Like whatever it is, I love it. I don't remember what it was.

It's called middle. It says DJ Snake featuring bipolar sunshine.

I don't know, man. I don't know. But see if you could find that. Play listen to this.

It'll fuck us up on YouTube.

Okay for us. Okay, so this YouTube people won't hear this part. Okay.

So is this is this definitely the one that this is not sound like it? How do you know what you've seen? No, that ain't it, Jamie. No. Oh, this is it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Try this. It is A L E G R E 2 0 0 3. Yeah, Allegria and then it's like a little space 2 0 0 3. True B trio. This is what it was. That with that one was that I just said was one that was just showed up at the front of Shazam. I've mistakenly thought it was the last one that I shazamped. Is that a verb?

Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam?

Shazam?

Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shazam? Shaz What is happening over there? You're gonna have to go to it.

No, it's good dude. It gets going. But it's what I like about Spanish music is I don't know what the fuck they're saying. So it's cool. Like I get the emotions and they get the vibe, but it's. Have you ever listened to Rusted Rute? Rusted Rute? That sounds like you're dick. No. After you bang a chick was on the period.

Then 18 inch route keep this going if the YouTube people don't hear it. Do you think it'll get us pulled off iTunes? That won't happen, right? Yeah. But Joey Diaz's cousin has a band from Cuba. It's awesome. That is, they're fucking amazing. And they're on my playlist here. Really? Yeah. Alfonso X, XLfonso. It's X, A-L, Ph, O, and S-O. They're a fucking bat.

Oh my god. Well, it takes about 35 years of as fuck and to take so much dick in your ass and why it's enough to take that root. We're looking at a root that is about the size of Jamie's whole leg. Right? If you had a guess? Yeah. Your arm? No, go back to that. You see that photo?

You know, that's like that's like Tate Fletcher's forearm. Yeah. It's like a big giant man's forearm.

Same color too. Yeah. Ready to explode like an ash from our weiner.

Wow, so between that and the boner pills, what kind of birth defects do you think your children have adopting an Asian girl?

Oh, just listening to this. I was listening to this Woody Allen thing the other day. It's Woody Allen on comedy. It's really interesting because it's Woody Allen. There was two things that I bought. One of them is Woody Allen doing stand up in like the 1960s. It's good. He's good. He was a very good stand up man. He was a good comic.

It wasn't that whiny back then. It wasn't that whiny back then. It was a different style. I mean, it was different. He was a different guy. He was a young guy and he was known more of as a comic. And then there's also an interview where it's just Woody Allen talking about the process of creating comedy and what he did and that's kind of after he had stopped. Yeah, that's it right there. Those are the two of them. Woody Allen on comedy and then Woody Allen stand up comic. Those are the two that I was listening to back to back. You know, I'm not certainly not sympathetic to like what he's done. I mean, he's such a fucking weirdo and what he's done. Just the fact that that girl was his daughter and I guess it's so creepy to me, right? To everybody. But looking past that and just trying to examine him as a human being, what a complex and weird human being is. He's pretty fascinating. And I don't think he's victimizing anybody else, as far as I know. I don't have any judgment. He's not jail, so no one's going after him. So whatever. So I'm just watching his life, I'm just looking at his life and he's such a fascinating character man. He is a jazz musician. And for a while, he did a documentary before everything got real ugly, right? Where he was going around. Was it before everything got real ugly? Was it in the middle of it all? But he went around playing jazz concerts like that was always like sort of like a a dream that he had. So he went around doing a bunch of jazz concerts. And he writes all of his scripts. Yeah, there it is. Wild man blues 1997. Wonder who named it. Maybe it's ironic. Is it ironic calling him the wild man blues or is he really a wild man? I wonder when was so was that's 97 when did all this controversy take place before this right?

We celebrate Woody Allen, a cause we forget about. Well, Woody Allen seems to have fallen in love with a girl that he adopted, which is as crazy.

Twenty two. Okay. She responded to someone paternal Woody Allen reveals secret to his 23 year Relationship with Mia Farrow's adopted daughter, which at first he thought was just a fling. Woody Allen went to rare details about his relationship with Sunyee. They got together while he was dating her adopted mother, Mia Farrow. Now married Sunyee 44 and Alan 79 have been together for 23 years. Whoa, I see what she looks like. So she was 21 when they started getting on. Allen said, well, he's 80 there, dude. Yeah. I mean, she is, she's, she's, half his age and she's 44. She likes that daddy tick. I mean, what the fuck man? Yeah, she's 44 and he's 79. That is crazy. She's almost half his age. Wow. They've been together for 23 years. Give it. Oh, I'm sorry. Where'd we go back? Go down. No, go down. No, no, where it was? Yeah, thanks. Alan says it worked because he was paternal, which helped her flourish. And these are in quotes, paternal and flourish. They're in quotes. He also reveals that he thought it would be just a fling when they started, ugh, fling.

Oh, he just got away with fucking his daughters when it was weird, man. So he looks so odd in that photo too, and that's 92.

Was this article from 92 Jamie?

That makes sense. How the fuck was she? Yeah, okay. I'm retarded because in 1992 that makes sense. Wow, that's so weird though, dude. So he talks about it now and they've been married forever. See, that's what's fucked up about it. What's fucked up about it is it worked. They've been together for 23 years. They have children. Look at that photo of them. Let's scroll down. Look at that photo. They're smiling. They're arm and arm. They're, they're happy together. It's fucked up, but it works. So I get a certain point in time. I mean, it's not, they're not genetically related, which is always the big concern, right? The big concern was that your genes would be, if you had sex with someone who's your actual daughter, your genes would be all fucked up and you'd, ugh, she's kissing them on the cheek. She seems to love them. She's a little head. But you know what I'm saying? I mean, it's like, We have these ideas of what's okay and not okay. It certainly seems fucked up, but if she was 21 when it happened, she was a grown woman and she decided, you know what, I want to fuck my dad, my sort of dad. The guy lives across the city, lives on like opposite side of the heart.

Yeah, I'm sure that's been done.

I don't know. But Ted Nuget did that. Ted Nuget adopted a girl. So like, Google that. There was like some crazy controversy.

Yeah, it's not to it. See if, but good, just Google that. Yeah, he wrote songs about like having sex with young young ladies that were very young underage Ted Nugent pick.

He became a legal guardian. That's what it is. He didn't adopt her. She was 17. Perfect. Exactly. He's ahead of his time. But back then, okay. What year was this when this happened? All right. Get rid of these photos. Proced me out. What year was that? 1978. 78. How much different were things back then? Do you take that in consideration?

Well, the context in the culture at the time, because we were talking about that with the Socrates. The Socrates was, you know, they were all pederists. They all liked to bang young boys. It was real common back then. But yet, no one No one has a little asterisk next to everything socket he said. You don't say, but remember he used to bang little boys. You know, but if that was today, you would. So as far as like what Woody Allen did, it's creepy.

And there was Mia Frow's other daughter was saying that he did something to her too. But Woody Allen saying that would it be us magazine?

Oh, shut your mouth. How do you even know that?

Did he? How do you do that?

What happened to Lynn Sanity? Obviously I'm on the outside. I don't hear about that dude anymore.

And what's happening? Is he doing well?

What the fuck happened during that one time? Where is this? New York. And what was he doing? He's just kept hitting three pointers.

And now it's over?

Yeah, but how come like me on the outside? I find out about athletes when they're in trouble, or they do something crazy. They have to do something like really good. Like, that's the only time I, and I remember thinking, well, I remember thinking, well, look there. Finally, you know, the Asian people have some super fucking badass basketball player other than the giant guy.

Well, also he hasn't been sent the world on for right and they're not they're not one of the top teams But they play against the top teams, right?

Okay, what does that mean?

Oh, that's soup. That's Vietnamese. He's not Vietnamese. He was racist. Not only that, I don't think it's foe. I think it's really, you say fa fa. Yeah, which, hey, listen. Spell it different. And how much bro? Yeah, why do you think you can get away with using our words different, you know?

Like, you know, I know that we're stupid. We don't bother researching what the actual word. It's like, how many people called the hoist gracy, Royce gracy? Yeah. Because they were, you know, unaware that you have to pronounce the R like an H when you speak in Portuguese? Yeah.

I've been having these fucking gyros lately, dog. Joey Diaz do whatever he wants. I like when he screws up people in the names. It's half the fun. Half the fun. Where the fuck's down my rare? Plus beer. Oh, thanks me.

Well, how long before that flies around?

Dude, that looks like a UFO. I mean, this thing that you show on me right now looks exactly like a classic UFO. Doesn't it? Yeah. Like if they could figure out how to weigh to make that, like put some sort of an inside fan makes that thing hover and move around. That looks like a UFO.

Well, you had a real good point too. We said, remember when people were going, how come everything is in on 3D TV? We're both 3D TV. Why aren't you doing your show on 3D TV? Now try to find a 3D TV.

Yeah.

It's not ready. Yeah. None of that stuff's ready. But I think it's going to be like Oculus Rift. Like it wasn't ready until it's ready. You know, like for the longest time, we were kids virtual reality was a thing. Like there was even a movie where it was at lawnmower, man. Yeah, I mean it was based on like we were the home I got any day now. We're gonna be in virtual reality and it never took place because the computing power and the graphics everything just wasn't ready But now that it is ready like that in video demonstration that they did with all the the crazy shit that you can do with With virtual reality and those Oculus Rift goggles. What is that dude? That is lawnmower man really was it that cheesy looking yeah

That guy that was in lawnmower, man. The guy on the right, that dude was in a bunch of movies. Yeah. He was like, one of those movie stars. And I don't remember his name. I don't know who he is, but that guy was in some big ass movies.

He's one of those dudes like the dude wears my car guy. They're like, after he's not doing that, those movies anymore, it becomes like, hey, or American pie, the American pie guy. Yeah, what's his old Jeff Lehi? Well, he's actually pretty famous. I remember his name. It's just me. I forgot his name. That guy's been in everything, though. Yeah, it's different. Yeah. What happened is different?

All right, Domarera is going to be here next. We're going to pause this bitch for a moment and then bring in the great Domarera. These desquad.tv mugs that Brian brought in. How long are they for sale for?

But you sent to you via stamps.com. That's right. Go to deskwad.tv for more info. Brian is tonight at the Irvine Improv and tomorrow at the La Jolla Comedy Store with George Perez. Right.

Excellent, excellent comedians. Excellent show. Go check that shit out. Desquad.tv. Brian is red band on Twitter. Young Jamie for some reason has not taken the young Jamie Twitter name.

Not sense.

It is your name. You are young Jamie. Sunday you're gonna be back Bertrand Russell.

Yeah. That's who you are, bro. Okay. It's a good name. Your handsome fella. All right, fuckers. We'll be back in a little bit with the great Domarera. This episode is brought to you by Dr. Squatch. I'm going to let you in on a secret. If you want to be more confident, you have to start taking care of yourself. And a great way to do that is use Dr. Squatch, especially with their new private hygiene products. They were designed to help you look and feel fresh all over. like the growing guardian trimmer. It's perfect for grooming above and below the waist and the ball barrier dry lotion helps manage sweat and chafing while beast wipes keep you clean front to back. It's the care your body deserves. Try them today, whether you're new to Dr. Squatch or you use it every day, get 15% off your order by going to Dr. Squatch.com slash JRE15 or use the code JRE15 at checkout.