Transcript for #805 - Steve Hofstetter
SPEAKER_01
00:00 - 00:10
Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do
SPEAKER_03
00:11 - 00:15
I mean, that was at the same time. I'm good. I'm excited to be here.
SPEAKER_01
00:15 - 00:47
I'm excited to have you, man. I love the video. There's a video I found out about Steve because of the video of some fucking hacklers. Why do they still exist? Do people out there? Do you not know when you come to a comedy show? It's like going to the movies. You shouldn't try to change the content. You go and alcohol. You're right. That's the answer. I asked a rhetorical question. Yeah. And I got a definitive answer. It's a fucking great video though because you handled it so well. Thank you. I don't remember the subject. What was she heckling about?
SPEAKER_03
00:47 - 01:00
I was talking about her parents think they're special and they're not. And then she yelled out bullshit and then walked into two minutes of material that I already had written about the subject. If I had written what she was supposed to say, it wouldn't have been as good as what she actually said.
SPEAKER_01
01:00 - 01:09
Yeah, it was like a setup, but sometimes those things happen and people accuse people of doing plants. I've never heard of anybody actually doing a plant, though, of you.
SPEAKER_03
01:09 - 01:22
Other than Andy Kaufman, no. Not one time, but people, some people look at the world and they go, well, this is too good. It can't be real. We'll allow for some magic to happen sometimes.
SPEAKER_01
01:22 - 01:32
A little comedy magic. Yeah, I mean, there's so many videos of hackers. You would think that they would learn. Is there a video of a hack or winning?
SPEAKER_03
01:32 - 01:56
I mean, there are definitely videos of people who are like, I own this hackler in the end. Yeah, not did you? Did you? Looks kind of, no, not really. Sometimes, yeah. But that's not the heckler winning. That's the comedian losing. Right. There's, there's a difference. You know, and there are, there are times, I think, when, you know, comedians, you know, this, they're comedians who can't add lib, who are brilliant at material, but it's not add libbers.
SPEAKER_01
01:56 - 02:08
If that's weird, isn't it? Like, the people that only want to do, like, monologues, and if anything goes off the line, they ignore it, and they just keep going, and they hope that the, someone takes care of it.
SPEAKER_03
02:08 - 02:34
Well, I don't understand that. Like, that's part of people sometimes would be like, why do you have so many Hitler videos? It's like, because most of them start with me going, what'd you say? Yeah. Because I don't let it go because I don't want to lose control of the crowd. I don't want other people to be like, oh, well, he talked. I can talk. And also, you know, I just, I can't concentrate on this, you know, bit I've done a thousand times. If in the back of my head, I was like, wait, what's happening right now in the back of the room?
SPEAKER_01
02:34 - 02:45
Yeah. Well, sometimes people just start commenting like they'll like be right in front of you too, which is crazy like in the front row. Go, not so true. No, you can't say that.
SPEAKER_03
02:45 - 02:50
Don't say that or either or they even go. Yes, that's true. Like he wouldn't agree with you.
SPEAKER_01
02:50 - 02:52
It's still sucks. But what about?
SPEAKER_03
02:53 - 03:11
Yeah, and they want to put their own spin on it like it's a conversation Yeah, it's using sometimes like I try to tell people I'm just like look comedy's evocative You're gonna have a lot of thoughts and that's okay have the thoughts Yeah, hold on to those thoughts yeah later after the show released thoughts in the wild but for now It's okay to think of stuff.
SPEAKER_01
03:11 - 03:23
And even if you see me out in the lobby and you want to have, you got a question about some of the material. Let's talk. Yeah. That's a time to talk. Absolutely. Not why you're halfway into this setup.
SPEAKER_03
03:23 - 03:41
Yeah. It is it's such, I mean, part of why I say it's ego is because if there's hundreds of people at this show and they're all quiet and then one person thinks they're all doing it wrong. Yeah. Like they're just sitting there and be like, wait, no, all these people are wrong. They, they, we should be interacting. I need to show them.
SPEAKER_01
03:41 - 04:00
It is kind of funny that alcohol is what they serve at comedy clubs because for, I guess for most people, it's a good thing. For most people, alcohol is a social lubricant relaxes you. You start laughing a little bit more, but for some people, the fucking the wheels come off and they just want to chime in and yell out.
SPEAKER_03
04:00 - 04:24
Well, if you're an asshole, alcohol just makes you more of an asshole. Yeah. Absolutely. So I think I've had this theory for a long time that a lot of people will blame being drunk. Oh, I was so wasted. But that's you. You were still in there. Yeah. There isn't some magical like, you know, jekyll and hide thing that's going on. You peed on someone's truck because you wanted to pee on someone's truck. Right. Alcohol just gave you the excuse.
SPEAKER_01
04:25 - 04:29
There are people that are alcoholics, though, where a switch goes off. Do you know anybody like that?
SPEAKER_03
04:29 - 04:40
Um, I don't, you know what, but it can introduce you to fair. I was like, I have a feeling. I know some of the people you hang with. I guess I don't hang out with a store enough.
SPEAKER_01
04:40 - 08:25
That store is the grand old opt-free for hecklers. Yeah. I mean, it really is. There's something about that place because there's no real dormant. Everybody's a comic. It's comics working the gay or comics working the door, comics working the cover booth, comics working the room. It's only comics, comics working the back parking lot, it's all comedians. So when you're there, you're under the hands of people who really don't want to be doing what they're doing. They don't really pay attention, so you have to learn how to deal with hacklers plus it's a hangout so that place is there's people packed in that place from 8 p.m. till 2 a.m. and everybody's hanging around drinking and so there's a lot of alcoholics and so you just get used to those dudes that have shark eyes They're eyes glass over and they're gone. You look in there. You're like, oh, Bobby's not here anymore. Yeah, Bobby. This episode is brought to you by Robin Hood. You want financial security for you and your family? Well, you got to make it happen. The world doesn't owe you a living and that's how I've always approached my finances and you can too with Robin Hood. Robin Hood pioneered commission-free stock trading over a decade ago, and they continued to offer innovative products to help you maximize your money's potential. With over 23 million funded customers, Robin Hood is helping people build a better financial future. Robin Hood gives you complete autonomy to make investments to pursue your future goals, whatever they are. Maybe you want to look towards investing for your family's future, investing for retirement, or even a vacation to the Bahamas. We all have some bucket list items to cross off and Robinhood has tools to help you pursue them. Investing a small amount now could make a big difference 30 years down the road. Take control of your financial future with Robinhood. Download the app or visit Robinhood.com to learn more. Disclosure, investing involves risk and loss of principle is possible. Returns are not guaranteed. Other fees may apply. Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC, is a registered broker dealer. This episode is brought to you by Zippercruiter. Look, patience is good at all. But if you're just sitting around waiting for everything good to come your way, well, you're going to be disappointed. And you're going to miss out on some amazing opportunities like your dream vacation. You have to work, save that money and actually plan it out. It's never going to happen if you just sit on your couch at home thinking about it. And the same applies to your company. You don't want to miss out on hiring the best people for your team. And luckily, there's an easy solution that you can use. It's Zippercouter. Try it for free right now at zippercouter.com slash rogan. They'll find you qualified people for your role quickly. And once you find someone you like, Zippercouter can help put you at the front of the pack. Just use their pre-written invite to apply message to connect with your favorite candidates ASAP. So, let ZipperCruiter give you the hiring hustle that you need. See why, four out of five employers who post on ZipperCruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Just go to zippercruiter.com slash rogan to try it for free. Again, that ZipperCruiter.com slash rogan. ZipperCruiter. The smartest way to hire. I didn't meet people like that until I was like 30. When I was 30, I started to meet real alcoholics where they'd have one drink. And then they were gone. They were just off to the races.
SPEAKER_03
08:25 - 08:33
But do you think that they are a completely different person or do you think that the alcohol just allows who they are to come out?
SPEAKER_01
08:33 - 08:55
Completely speculative. Because I don't have that gene, whatever that wacky gene is. Yeah. You have a couple of drinks and you just go off the rails. I don't have that. I'm a happy drunk. Like when I get drunk, I like to laugh and hug people. I don't, I don't understand the go blank, make a Maltov cocktail, throw to the cops, wake up and jail. What the fuck? What happened? They did what?
SPEAKER_03
08:55 - 09:18
The weirdest drunk to me is the, is the crying drunk? like the drawing that gets super upset because then it's like why would you why would you give yourself the ingredient that you need to cry in the corner right like if you know if it's the first time it ever happened I get it okay but if you're someone like I have a friend who every time he gets drunk he gets like super sad so stop drinking Like, why are you drinking if you're this upset?
SPEAKER_01
09:18 - 09:48
I feel like with people like that, there's like patterns that are deeply carved into their their psyche from childhood. Like maybe their mom cried a lot of their dad cried a lot and they got used to it and became a comforting pattern. Oh, but yeah, those things are, I mean, people say, oh, what are you going to do man? The guy's sad. Well, the fuck did he get sad? He's living in America. He's got two feet. He doesn't have cancer. The fuck is he whining about? There could be a hundred things wrong. You're a young white person in America. We shut up.
SPEAKER_03
09:48 - 09:56
I actually don't drink anymore. I've been sober 12 years. Damn. And it was because it was really my first year on the road when I realized like how much a problem it could be.
SPEAKER_01
09:57 - 09:58
Oh, so you did it wrong.
SPEAKER_03
09:58 - 10:08
So you did as a preventative measure. I did it. Yeah, it was something where I didn't go through a program and I found by the way that like people who've gone through the program are like, you know, really, you know, really sober.
SPEAKER_02
10:08 - 10:09
That's hilarious.
SPEAKER_03
10:09 - 10:14
And to me, I'm just like, you needed a program. You have no willpower. Yeah. So it's a bit of a dichotomy.
SPEAKER_01
10:14 - 10:21
The idea that someone could tell you after 12 years of sobriety that you're not really This isn't even consistent.
SPEAKER_03
10:21 - 10:58
Yeah, you don't, you just choose not to drink. Like, yeah, I do choose not to drink, but it's serious. Yeah, I haven't had a drink in 12 years. It was one of these things where, I mean, you know this, it's free on the road. You know, and everybody wants everybody goes, oh, let me take a shot with you afterward and be like, they're 30 of you. I'm going to die. Right. You just do the math on that. You're like, I'm going to die. And I started realizing, you know what? I don't have inhibition that alcohol changes. Like, that same year, I had done some show in Bloomington, Indiana, and we went to a bar afterward, and there were a bunch of hot girls dancing on the bar, and I went up and I danced on the bar with them, and I wasn't drunk. I just wanted to dance with the hot girls, and they're all these drunken
SPEAKER_01
11:00 - 11:29
people you know below the bar like all these loser guys just kind of like nursing their beer and looking up you like I wish I could do that be like we'll then get the fuck up on the bar why if you want to do it do it can anybody just dance on a bar because that makes me reconsider all the times of like touch the bar and then touch food and then oh yeah they put my phone up there and touch that and then touch food my the bottom my shoes are not clean yeah nobody's shoes are clean how are you just a lot of is that that's kind of violate health codes all right
SPEAKER_03
11:29 - 11:38
It was, uh, I just figured there were enough hot girls that it was okay that I was there, too. Well, that's a good call. Like the ratio has to be. There have to be still be enough hot girls.
SPEAKER_01
11:38 - 11:40
Now, did you hook up with one of those girls afterwards?
SPEAKER_03
11:40 - 11:48
Uh, oh, no. I was a pathetic sad loser, but the point is that I didn't need the alcohol to at least start the process of getting rejected.
SPEAKER_01
11:48 - 12:02
That's you. You have, you have the unique personality trade that allows you to get crazy and dance on bars. Yeah, that is a strange thing though about the people that are in those 12 step programs because they really do get super attached to the idea that that's the only way to be sober.
SPEAKER_03
12:02 - 12:29
Yeah, and it's not it is a way and if you need that, okay, our power to you and I you know, I do not I I don't want to take that away from anybody, but we're all different. And everybody's, you know, nerve endings connect differently, whatever the hell the biology is of it. And I didn't need a program, especially because I would freak out if they were like, and this is about Jesus, and I would go fuck yourself, give me a beer. So, you know, I wouldn't be able to be comfortable there.
SPEAKER_01
12:30 - 12:36
Did you ever do a program thing? Did you go to an alcoholics anonymous meeting or just stop?
SPEAKER_03
12:36 - 14:38
No, I had, so I had, there were a couple of times where I was like, all right, I need to quit and quit and that never works. And then there was one night where, so it's the first real time on the road, I was terrible with women in high school in college. And then suddenly I hit the road as a comic and they're everywhere and they're interested in life is different. And so there was a show I was doing a show for our sorority. And usually the sororities that sponsor comedy shows are like the philanthropies sorority, and they're all terrible. No, these girls were all hot. Just dimes. The whole chapter just felt they had like one ugly friend as the charity, but they had just gorgeous girls. And my opener goes up in bombs. And then I go up to a standing room only crowd and crush. And so now it's afterward, we're hanging out. There's like this after party thing that they put together for just them and the two of us, one of which they hated because he bombed. And like they're just these eight hot girls surrounding me, one shoulder another one out of the way to sit next to me. I was like, this is, this is, I've like nothing I've ever experienced. And then they took us to another party. And I'm pretty sure someone put something in my drink. Not in the way of like, I want to fuck this guy in the way of like, this is a guy getting all the attention away from the other guys. And I think one of the other guys fucked with my drink. Really? Yeah, because I got super violently ill very quickly, like very, very quickly. And I spent the whole night, I was supposed to stay at the sorority house. like I the plan was I was gonna stay in the guest room so I didn't even have to do the whole excuse of like hey can I use your bathroom can I come in for like I just I was supposed to go back there with them and I spent the entire night just just vomiting it was terrible wow somebody's spiked your dream And then I lost to gig the next day. And at the time, it's my first year on the road, I lost a $1,500 gig the next day. Because you were so sick. I couldn't do it. I was, we were driving, it was a middle of winter, but I was wearing like two pairs of pants, like two sweatshirts, and in a sleeping bag in the car with the heat on full blast, and I was shivering the whole way. Like I was fucked up. was bound.
SPEAKER_01
14:38 - 14:42
So I'm sure you didn't have like the flu or something that sounds like the flu.
SPEAKER_03
14:42 - 14:53
It went away like six hours later. So it could have been it could have been a a very temporary flu, a well time flu. I don't know, but that was the night where I was just like, I can't keep doing this.
SPEAKER_01
14:53 - 15:05
Have you ever heard of a drug that does that? Like a drug that makes you get how the chills? I mean, either probably. I mean, I might just be, was he? No, it doesn't sound like it. That sounds like you got something happened.
SPEAKER_03
15:05 - 15:15
Yeah, it was, uh, it was just very, very bad. And so, uh, I realized that it was, it was not only a chance at like a three, it was a chance at like a nine-some.
SPEAKER_01
15:15 - 15:17
So you're like, all right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03
15:17 - 15:19
I was like, I can't more drinking. Yeah, none of that.
SPEAKER_01
15:19 - 15:57
Wow, that's a, that's a week of call. Yeah. That's a week of call. The world hands you four aces and you just throw up on them. Yeah. What a hand of Kyle? Yeah. You ever heard of the term dry drunk? No, what's that? Dry drunk is what people like to say, people who are alcoholics who aren't drinking, but aren't in a program are their dry drugs. And so you still have all the mental issues that a drunk has, you're just waiting to go off. You don't really have the stability that a 12 step program provides.
SPEAKER_03
15:57 - 15:58
That sounds right. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01
16:01 - 16:07
I mean for some people for sure, but a 12 stamp program is weird because doesn't it require belief in a higher power?
SPEAKER_03
16:07 - 16:31
It does. There's a lot of God stuff in there. Yeah. And like I believe that there's something, but that something could be a life force. It could be an energy. I don't know what. I believe it's very possible there's something. Yeah, I don't I don't believe that there's a I don't believe that there's a bearded man and wings and all that bullshit be dope if there was though Yeah, if you got up to heaven you realize that it was all true.
SPEAKER_01
16:31 - 16:33
You know, I've been amazing. That's so crazy.
SPEAKER_03
16:33 - 16:35
I thought it was just a marketing thing.
SPEAKER_02
16:35 - 16:36
Yeah
SPEAKER_00
16:37 - 17:10
I just listened to radio lab the other day about addiction and they said that 95 or sorry I'm going to start that over. A 100 people if they started at a AA on January 1st as of December 31st of that year only 5 would still be in the program. basically saying like it doesn't work but there's a lot of factors that could be uh that could mean that or why that could happen because some people could start a different program they could go to the meeting next door but they're saying like only 5% of people will stay in the program through some certain statistics.
SPEAKER_03
17:10 - 17:11
That's a shared retention rate.
SPEAKER_00
17:13 - 17:19
But that radio lab goes into this pill that can cure addiction, I think.
SPEAKER_01
17:19 - 18:09
Well, they've had eye-begining forever. Eye-begining isn't it? It's a drug that it's from the aboga plant. And it's supposed to be fantastic for people that have heroin addiction, alcohol addiction, even addicted personality disorders, gambling, problems, things like those lines. It's supposed to be this ruthlessly introspective psychedelic experience that brutally breaks down your pathways, your thinking pathways, and shows you why you keep going into this self-sabotage mode. And it's apparently unbelievably uncomfortable to go through. Psychologically, physically, it doesn't feel good, but when it's over, the rate of retention of the retention of sobriety, the rate of sobriety that people retain afterwards is staggering. It's like in the 80s, the high 80% rather than anything.
SPEAKER_03
18:09 - 19:00
Wrathlessly introspective, it sounds like the great name of a common album. That's right. Yeah, there's a there's a treatment center on the 101 like the because I passed by and it like it looked like a college campus almost and I was like what the hell is that and I looked it up and there's like a it's like a treatment center like an inpatient and you like cut out everyone in your life kind of thing It's one of those it's one of those like yeah, it's one of those like you know, you know, you're not gonna talk to people for six months But when I looked it up I found it on Google and then we're reviews And one of the reviews was of someone who was about to go into the treatment center and he gave it one star. Like he was reviewing his own life. Like he was that messed up, but he like reviewed. He's like, well, I'm about to take the, the journey, the first step to the journey of the subriding, it was one star. I was like, I think I think you may have misunderstood how this rating system works, buddy. You might be a dick.
SPEAKER_01
19:00 - 19:03
Yeah. Give something one star if you haven't even tried it.
SPEAKER_03
19:03 - 19:06
I love when you ever just read Yelp reviews. Yeah, I do.
SPEAKER_01
19:06 - 19:09
Unfortunately, I love mad at myself.
SPEAKER_03
19:09 - 19:27
I know, but I love when you learn more about the person and the rest of it. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Like there was one I saw in New York where uh, this girl like she opens their view like so I'm back dating again. I'm like that's not tell me how the past is. Yeah. I don't I don't need to know it, but she like use it or his her own blog.
SPEAKER_01
19:27 - 19:54
That's good though because then you get to know. Try listening this more on. Let me let me see what they have to say about David. Why isn't that men these days don't want to open up a car door? Don't want to open up a door for a lady. Get upset when you're expected to pay and don't understand that you do want your own career. And as it turns out, the Nielke was fantastic. Yeah, you're just annoying. Yeah, there's a lot of those. I always go to someone's bad review. I always go to their page and see what they think about other stuff.
SPEAKER_03
19:54 - 20:02
Yeah, it's a thing you can figure out. It's also tough like using the help sometimes the middle and nowhere. That's really tough because then you're like, these motherfuckers don't know sushi.
SPEAKER_01
20:03 - 20:09
Like, what do they know? Sushi and South Dakota. Yeah, exactly. We're getting your fish, man.
SPEAKER_02
20:09 - 20:12
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01
20:12 - 20:51
Yeah. It's um, Yelp is tricky. Because it's, it's like YouTube reviews and a lot of other things. You're relying on random people. Like, like, if I call you up and I go, hey Steve, what do you think about this? Well, I know Steve's an intelligent guy. He's going to give me a really nuanced thought-out opinion of whatever word discussing. But if you don't know a person, you're just reading their type. Their type could be, I mean, when they write things down, the printed word could be just as valid as some fucking psychopath printed word. I mean, you don't really don't know. You gotta go deep deep deep into their paragraphs and you gotta really try to
SPEAKER_03
20:52 - 21:11
decipher like how fucking nuts is this person I have a theory that the way we make online tolerable the way we make like you know online not be this you know just I guess bastion for angry thought is everyone's not name but everyone's job should bring parentheses
SPEAKER_01
21:12 - 21:36
So we know what people do for a living. That would help. And like, how many stars your co-workers give you? Yeah. Usually you get your help. You get your help before you're allowed to help. You know, that guy with one star, I bet he gives out a half a star. I bet all the people who work with him, they give him a half a star. And he puts one star in for the drug review place and one star for his mom. You fucked up.
SPEAKER_03
21:36 - 21:58
There was an app that came out that was like a yelp for people. and everyone got really upset. Well, it was a yelp for dating. It was, oh, so it was just, okay, because it was people you've dated, because I thought I thought the idea, because there was, you know, the reviews of people and people getting upset. And I was like, the only people who would get upset at that are the people who know they're going to get two stocks.
SPEAKER_01
21:58 - 22:10
Well, it's people who can just stalk you. If someone who's like a shitty coworker that has it against you, can write a much of mean shit about you and then every time you pull up your name, You see this mean shit written against you.
SPEAKER_03
22:10 - 22:16
Yeah, you need to I think for the way that to work for the way for that to work is you can only review someone if you both agree to review each other.
SPEAKER_01
22:16 - 23:44
I was reading this thing about this guy who's getting stalked online by this other guy and they found the person and it was his 17 year old kid that was the son of one of his friends. and had no real beef with them, but it was just doing it for sport. Just for the fun of it. Just because he knew he could fuck with the guy in Scaram, and he did all this Holocaust, Jew stuff, and all this anti-Semitic stuff. He's really, really crazy stuff like sent ashes to their house and left ashes at their front door. Like just a total psychopath a kid 17 year old kid and it apparently had haunted this guy for a long time and he was trying to figure out who it was then he hired someone. It's pretty easy to find people once you hire someone as an expert. They found the kid like instantly and they realized it was this fucking high school kid that was the son of one of his friends and that they all had a sit down and he they printed up all the stuff that this kid had written for like a fucking year and handed it to him and the kids started crying and I don't know why I did it and I got addicted to it I couldn't stop and like I addicted to it Well, now you're playing a game. Yeah. And if you're not there when the person is reacting, especially when you're 17 and your emotions may be they're not so complex or they're not so rather formed than not mature. Yeah. You know, maybe completely aware that every action has a reaction on the other end, whether you see it or not. There is a
SPEAKER_03
23:45 - 24:18
You know that movie the button or whatever it was where like someone like press a button and someone would die in the world. I heard about that. I didn't know either, but there was I think it was an SNL sketch about it where they were like they explained the whole premise or like you press this button and somewhere someone in the world died and the guy just hits the button. And they're like, you didn't let us finish, like we would give you a million out and he just hits it again. Because we're that like in human and in emotional, like if you just tell me that someone somewhere else in the world died, like that doesn't really affect you.
SPEAKER_01
24:18 - 24:22
Yeah, there's too many people anyway. Yeah, hit the button. Let's clear off the 405.
SPEAKER_03
24:22 - 24:24
Yeah, I guess it just depends on who.
SPEAKER_01
24:24 - 27:22
Yeah, if you don't feel it, there's like that's the problem with drones, right? I mean, they say that drone pilots, what is this? This episode is brought to you by Crash Champions. There's nothing worse than being overwhelmed by an unexpected car accident and not knowing what to do next. But as bad as a situation like that might be, Crash Champions is here to answer the call turning your bad day around with trusted collision repair. They'll save the day by getting your vehicle back on the road quickly, safely, and looking like the accident never happened. Next time, a wreck ruins your life, remember to trust Crash Champions. They will answer the call and make it right. Ask your auto insurance company about Crash Champions, visit CrashChampions.com to find a location near you. This episode is brought to you by SimplySafe. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home. Get a peace of mind with SimplySafe. It's advanced home security that puts you first. And these guys are some of the best in the business. They were named US News and world reports best home security system for five years running. And I think part of that is because simply safe has some of the most advanced systems out there with 24-7 professional monitoring and low upfront costs. Believe it or not, they have monitoring plans for less than a dollar a day. Picture this. You've been traveling for days. You come home to see your house has been broken into everything's a mess. They took off a lot of your valuables. And now your home doesn't feel as secure as it did before. With simply safe, that might have been avoided. Their systems and agents could have helped stop the crime in real time. Using this smart alarm, wireless indoor camera they could have seen, spoken to and even deterred the burglars while sending the police. and you get to go on with your life knowing that simply save has you covered. It's time to get the protection that you deserve. Try out simply save today, risk free. Right now, the listeners of this podcast can get an exclusive 20% discount on a new system with fast-protect monitoring. Just go to simply save.com slash rogan. That's simply save.com slash rogan. There's no save like simply save. That they say that drone pilots suffer through a lot of severe anxiety when they're done and like it's apparently incredibly psychologically stressful because you're doing this weird thing or you're sort of sending this robot and they're doing it from Nevada right and so the robots are in Afghanistan or Pakistan or Yemen or wherever the hell they are, and they're launching missiles from these sky robots, and it just feels so detached and creepy to the people that are doing it.
SPEAKER_03
27:22 - 27:48
Well, it's the same, I guess the same psychology of like why you're able to get in a such credit card debt, but you wouldn't do that with cash, because like you see it as just some mythical thing. And then afterward, you realize, oh, this is real. Would you be able to, would you be able to kill someone if you knew that they were like a bad guy? Yeah. And would you feel bad about it? No. That's what I think too.
SPEAKER_01
27:48 - 27:54
Yeah, I don't think I would. I mean, if some like, Hitler character. Yeah, I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't.
SPEAKER_03
27:54 - 27:56
I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't.
SPEAKER_02
27:56 - 27:58
I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't.
SPEAKER_03
27:58 - 28:22
I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't Yeah, cuz they're all these like that there's this trope in movies and TV about you know like a cop shot someone that they had to shoot in the line of duty It wasn't you know like just killing some kid It was you know shooting a bad guy and then they have to go to therapy over it. I feel like yeah, no
SPEAKER_01
28:23 - 29:25
Have you ever talked to soldiers about that? I haven't. The real PTSD with soldiers is things they can't control. That's what really sucks with them. Like worried about being attacked, worried about being blown up, worrying about driving over an IED. The soldiers that are proactive, like rangers, navy seals, guys you go in and hunt people down. They don't have that much PTSD. They're different types of people. I mean, some of them have just been through crazy fire fights and they wake up with horrible nightmares. But a shocking amount of them realize they're doing the right thing. They have to do this. This needs to be done and they're the man to do it. Yeah. They're trained for it. This is their job and they're all together and they're like a family. It's, it's, and they feel more superhero-esque. Yeah. So when you see like a guy, a cop and a movie that feels bad that he has a shoot-a-bad guy, that's like the writer. That's the writer if the writer was a cop. Yeah, you know, or maybe a cop that maybe shouldn't be a cop, which is definitely some of those out there or a writer who shouldn't be a writer.
SPEAKER_03
29:25 - 29:25
All right.
SPEAKER_01
29:25 - 30:09
Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, those movies like how many of these movies have like these like we're talking about the grooves that are carved in that some people have that get depressed very easily or behave really like really sad, really easily. Like those grooves, those psychic grooves that they think that they're supposed to behave like that. Those are carved into tropes and storylines and plots and there's so many plots or so many movies you watch. Like you didn't even write this, okay? You knew what has already been written about these subjects and you just sort of repeated it with different words. Yeah. Like this isn't really a story you wrote because this story has happened a fucking million times in movies.
SPEAKER_03
30:10 - 30:54
Well, and it causes those stories existing, then cause people to act like that. Yes. Well, yeah. One of the most fascinating interviews I ever saw was, you know, the interviewed, the guy who was, you know, all the gangster movies and the forties that say, huh, same, like all that. Yeah. And they said, how did you get the accent so perfect? And he said, I made that accent up. And then all the gangsters wanted to be like the gangsters in the movies. And so then all the gangsters started talking like that because of that, because of those movies. Like James Cagney? Yeah. Wow. Like that was, they just told the act like they just started doing it. Life him and Tates aren't, right? Yeah. And then it's, you know, it's, uh, and then people feel like, oh, well, this is normal because that's what we're showing on television.
SPEAKER_01
30:54 - 31:17
Well, that was the argument against gangster rap. that the argument was that they were forcing kids by, you know, making this music really popular. They were forcing kids to accept this type of behavior as being normal and even exemplary, like the exemplary of a bad mother fucker, you're shooting people and you ever go back and listen to like the old NWA.
SPEAKER_03
31:17 - 32:12
Oh yeah, I actually grew up, so I grew up in Queens, New York and I was a big fan of old school hip-hop. Now I didn't like I was never big into the NWA stuff. I preferred you know the I preferred the lyrics about how great we are at rapping not how many bitches we've killed like that was the that's kind of the line in the same way who are your people who'd you like top call quest are so sad one five died yeah try guys are awesome black sheep I loved Pete Rock and Seal Smooth. We had a deal of soul guy, too. Yeah. I got to, when I was 21, I think. I covered, I was in college during the Seinfeld Sandoff party and the place where like the Tom's diner where monks was based the exterior shot was like a block off my campus. So I made up a fake press pass and I went and I covered the party and I got to meet Del Sol was there and it was like, wow.
SPEAKER_01
32:12 - 32:25
It was so great. That's nice. Yeah. You know, it was a sad time for me, man. When MC search got his own daytime talk show. Oh my god. Third base. I just love the end of it goes the weasel because the weasel goes.
SPEAKER_03
32:25 - 32:27
Mr. Grassel my eye.
SPEAKER_01
32:27 - 32:42
Someone hit my eye. But if you watch the MC search, uh, daytime talk show, you like this can't be real. He's punk in us. Yes, this is a character he's playing. He's doing that Joaquin Phoenix thing that Joaquin Phoenix did for a year.
SPEAKER_03
32:42 - 32:52
It's that it's that same sort of thing when all of a sudden all the adults were talking about the Facebook and I'm like, well, Facebook's done now. Right. You know, this isn't this isn't going to be fun anymore.
SPEAKER_01
32:52 - 32:59
Well, and she searches done because he had the most preposterous daytime talk show. Did you ever watch it?
SPEAKER_03
32:59 - 33:02
I know. I knew about it. I never watched it.
SPEAKER_02
33:02 - 33:02
Oh.
SPEAKER_01
33:03 - 33:20
It was such. And you know, I mean, he's like, I'm a dad now, but it's like play the beginning of it because they're beginning of the show. See if you can find it because the beginning of it is so fucking preposterous when he explains how we're going to keep it real.
SPEAKER_03
33:20 - 33:29
We're keeping it real. There's no such thing as that. Like when people say we're keeping it real, that means they're just, they have no other words that they can think of. It's madness.
SPEAKER_01
33:29 - 33:32
It's just, it's a dangerous way of talking.
SPEAKER_03
33:32 - 33:49
I was at a, I did a bunch of extra work when I started out, and which that's so much fun. That's, oh, my God, extra work is the best because you get to see just the worst in humanity, right in front of you. The extras, a lot more crazy. They're absolute, just batch it. And it was a minus two, right?
SPEAKER_01
33:49 - 33:52
Oh, extras and between going back and forth from extra work to open. Thanks.
SPEAKER_03
33:52 - 34:22
That was my that was my day. I would just go just watch like just watch people desperately need attention and do nothing of quality to get it. So there's one woman they put out the craft services and this woman goes up and she loads up like two plates and then is putting stuff in her purse also. And I just, you catch me looking at her. And she just goes, I'm just keeping it real. And I go, well, if you want to know what's real, they're going to refill this table later. So you can just come get seconds.
SPEAKER_01
34:22 - 34:24
If you don't have one food to take home though.
SPEAKER_03
34:24 - 34:42
Well, in the purse, I understand, but just the idea of it was just, but it was like the start of like a 14 hour day. I was just keeping it real. I'm like, that's not keeping it real. Just say like, hey, I'm really poor and I'm hungry right now. Like, they're keeping it real. Yeah, they're all so that. But you know, it was something to stare at. It was very weird.
SPEAKER_01
34:42 - 34:59
That's a minor infraction. And you think about the world. Extra is an open micers in the paid furniture world. That's one of the keeping it real things about the comedy store. You're constantly around. Crazy people a lot of micers especially they're always hanging around because it's kind of like a hangout on top of being a club.
SPEAKER_03
34:59 - 35:03
What's the craziest of my show you've seen?
SPEAKER_01
35:03 - 35:51
Oh God, I mean open mics are madness. I mean there's because anybody can get on stage and a lot of times One of the things about stand up is that a lot of people don't see themselves the way other people see them. And that gets exposed when you get on stage because you realize, oh, this is how people see me. People see me as being an obnoxious, really annoying person that thinks they're funny. I see myself as being this really funny person. And then they have to work that out. It's almost like a self-improvement course on communication skills because you're brutally reminded of how poor your communication skills are when you don't get the last. And you're like, oh, what is wrong with my thoughts? Is it my thought? How come my friends take it's funny? Like what is it today?
SPEAKER_03
35:51 - 35:56
That's only someone who knows what's going on. Right. The crazy people are the ones that go on. This crowd doesn't get me.
SPEAKER_01
35:56 - 36:00
This crowd sucks. Yeah. This crowd's bullshit. Oh, yeah. I mean, how many times have I heard that?
SPEAKER_03
36:00 - 36:03
Just like every crowd I've ever played to. They all suck.
SPEAKER_01
36:03 - 36:24
No one understood me. The worst thing we can have to do with those people is some one day. They'll just catch that magic wave where you know, there's this one crowd where almost anyone can do well. Yes. This is weird crowds. They're just so good and so hyped up that someone with like really shitty skills can get up there and just make it happen.
SPEAKER_03
36:24 - 36:27
And they chase the ghosts of that performance forever.
SPEAKER_01
36:27 - 37:39
Here's a great story that I've told before. Unfortunately for people who've heard it, but Joey Diaz was the early days of the concert. There was one woman who was insane. I mean, completely insane. There was nothing remotely funny about anything she ever had to say. She was brutal. And she would go up and every time she would go up, everybody would have to get out of the room. It was just like, what? What is happening here? How does she even get spots? Was there in the 90s when it was easier to get spots? And so Joey Diaz goes backstage behind the OR. There's a curtain. And he goes backstage and takes his pants off. And every time she hits a punch line, he opens up the curtain and shows the crowd his balls. It's got no pants on. So every time she hits the punchlines, he's doing this. And she's killing. I mean, killing. And you see the confident look in her face. She has no idea what's going on. Oh. And the strider, swagger. And she hits those same punchlines. And all of a sudden, Joey comes out with his balls and everybody's crying laughing. And she never knew. She never knew. She had no idea. Did anyone know and ever told her? I don't think so. If they did, she would never believe it. Bullshit, I was killing. Yeah. Like, she was just insane.
SPEAKER_03
37:39 - 38:19
I tell you, I tell you on comics that you don't exist in the world how you see yourself. You exist in the world as a sum total of how everyone else sees you. That's who you are. Yeah. And that's true on stage also. You exist on that stage as the sum total of how the crowd sees you. Right. Your actions, what you wear, how you stand, how you speak. Those can all determine that. But your thoughts of how you want to be seen. The difference of how you see yourself and how everyone else sees you, that chasm is delusion. Yeah. And so the shorter that chasm, the more self aware you're going to be, the funnier you can be. The bigger that chasm, the more likely you're going to flip a table on a reality show.
SPEAKER_01
38:20 - 38:55
Yes, that's not the difference. That's a very good point. It's a very good way of putting it and it goes back to what we were talking about earlier that stand up in a lot of ways is almost like a vehicle for introspective observation like you're almost forced to examine yourself in a way that very few people do because people like to put up blinders and that's why people like to drink, you just kind of like, push it all away and ignore all the faults and press on. And when you're doing stand up, I mean, you really, you can't do that because bombing is so unbelievably brutally painful that you, you go, okay, that can happen again.
SPEAKER_03
38:55 - 39:21
If you know you bomb though, like I was right. So when I was first living out here, I would hang out at the, there were shows at Westwood, Bruco all the time. I don't know if you ever did those Adam Hunter shows. No, but I know that I'm very well. They were so I would hang out there all the time and there was one night where a bunch of comics had done a show in Long Beach on the Queen Mary and one by one they were all getting to Westwood and every one of them man that show is terrible.
SPEAKER_01
39:21 - 39:24
The Queen Mary is a boat by the way for. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_03
39:26 - 39:32
Yeah, I guess if people are unfamiliar, be like, they all performed on this one lady, and she's a queen. What's your queen of?
SPEAKER_01
39:32 - 39:38
Well, it's on the, it's not even like, in a bar called the Queen Mary. It's on the Queen Mary. What have they talking about?
SPEAKER_03
39:38 - 40:15
Yeah, they just standing on this lady named Mary. And so, one by one, they would all show up and they're like, they're like, 12 people there, and it was a nightmare, and everyone has talked about how shitty it was, and how everybody bombed and the night was terrible, then one comic gets there, and doesn't know that everyone had already done that, and the first thing he does, Yeah, just got back from Long Beach, man. I crushed that. That was such a great show. Everybody was going nuts and just going on and on about how great it was. And the rest of us would just be like, oh, oh, you've never killed because if you think that that was killing, you've never killed. You've never had a good show. If you don't understand what that feels like or you just lie and tell everybody all the time you have good shows, but it's terrible delusion.
SPEAKER_01
40:16 - 40:36
Yeah, well, they maybe just doesn't understand himself. Yeah. I mean, how many guys have you met like that that like are that around girls or around a job opportunity around. They think that they're way more qualified for something. There are like, I'm going to go get this flight's president job, bro. I'm going to go get it. I'm going to run. There's a lot of people are just completely crazy.
SPEAKER_03
40:36 - 40:59
Yeah, well there's the I like to tell people you know follow your dreams unless your dreams are stupid Yeah, because it's good advice if you like if you quit your job to work at America like to audition for American Idol and you've never ever been paid to sing anywhere you're fucking idiot Well, American idols are really good example because if you watch that show the best part about that show is the beginning where you're just watching mental illness
SPEAKER_01
41:01 - 41:36
And that's what they should call it. The mental illness or slash a shreds of talent. Yeah, because American illness. Yeah, for every one person that you get that gets through the entire, like who's like the big name stars that have gone through American. Kelly Clarkson, Kerry Clarkson. Those those two those two are huge. And there's the guy who went a little crazy. The young country music giga. Yeah, what happened to him? I was actually in his true Hollywood story I'm glad you said true Hollywood story because if you said yes the other night no I was and he was the guy who got me finally he'll I know
SPEAKER_03
41:39 - 42:08
I was I was making fun of him to a producer on the show like she just told me that she was working on that show and I was just like what it was a friend of mine was like what he up to just tell me she's working on the show and she goes yeah, you know, we were doing research on he used to be a choir boy and I just go oh, so he started out with him's and never quite made it to hers and then she she just goes you want to be on the show. What? So then I that line actually got cut by the lawyers. Yeah, I had I had five jokes that were in the script and three of the five of them got cut by the lawyers
SPEAKER_01
42:09 - 42:32
Fucking lawyers, man. That's why lawyers you can't have podcasts. No, you can't. You're not allowed. You fucks like a lawyer podcast. They can't come on them. They can't. You can't have a lawyer telling you what you can't and can't say about podcasts. Yeah. You just, you know, allowed. Because this is the last place. The last bastion of free speech as far as like just expressing yourself in conversation. There's no, this is the only one left.
SPEAKER_03
42:33 - 42:47
They're easily tricked though. I used to be a, I used to be a segment producer on a show and we would always put in stuff we didn't want to use so that they could come in the room and be like, no, no, no, no, you have to take that out and then leave in the thing that we thought they would take out.
SPEAKER_01
42:47 - 44:04
Well, I'm sure you've seen the scene in Team America world, please. Yeah. The, the sex scene between the two puppets, they made like 10 minutes longer than they wanted it to be where he shits on her chest or she shits on his chest. They pee on each other. They went nuts. And the reason why they did it was because they could cut some of it. It would still be preposterous, which it won't have been. Yeah. But that's a common strategy. We did that in the 90s with news radio. We had an episode of news radio where Phil Hartman said penis on the air on the radio show. And then it was through the episode. He said penis like 20 times. And they were like, you can't say penis more than eight times. And there was like eight times. Yeah. Who makes that? Yeah, it's fucking assholes, assholes, assholes who decide what America is willing to sell assholes for them. Yeah, I'm crazy. Rebel, bro. Thank you, it was four times. But they didn't, they didn't, they aren't. So it didn't air. They didn't air. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. No, it had to air in like season two or three. Like whatever season it was, maybe with season two, I don't remember what season it was. But it, it had to air like the next season or the season later. And like we were told, hey, the penis episode's air in tonight. We were like, what? It's not never aired.
SPEAKER_03
44:04 - 44:10
I love so much that there's something called the penis episode. By the way, good bad name. The penis episode? Yeah, it's good bad name.
SPEAKER_01
44:10 - 44:18
That would totally play at the whiskey. Yeah, like a fucking punk band. The penis episode. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03
44:18 - 44:35
It's part of the patriarchy. Yeah. Yeah, I think that I used to call it a march of the penguins because all the suits would come down the hallway and try to ruin our art. But the idea that someone goes, well, says specifically eight times you can say penis. It's so arbitrary.
SPEAKER_01
44:35 - 44:38
It's totally arbitrary and there's no rules anywhere.
SPEAKER_03
44:38 - 44:40
What happens on the ninth time? Like Beetlejuice comes out.
SPEAKER_01
44:40 - 45:30
Yeah, penis juice comes out. Seat Satan comes through the floor. There's a way to to do art and it's definitely not by having a bunch of people that have money invested in it looking around it going okay how can we maximize this how can we make this as sellable as possible that's just the opposite of the kind of mentality that you need to make something good and if it just like you're talking about with comedy or people don't see themselves. If you don't see yourself, however people see you, it's not going to work and it won't be funny. Well that's kind of the same thing with art. If you produce a television show or whatever it is and people don't enjoy it, well it won't go anywhere. It'll fall off and then it's not good anymore. But to have someone come in and say, oh, you got to do this and you got to do that because we know better because we're the ones with the money.
SPEAKER_03
45:30 - 45:39
That never works. But every time every time I think that, I remember that according to Jim had over a hundred episodes. over 100 episodes.
SPEAKER_01
45:39 - 46:07
But that's the, there's a, there's a style of jam. Like it had over 100 episodes. Yeah, I remember Jagd that Jag was on while I was on news radio. We were always like, what in the fuck is going on? How is that a real show? If you have a watch that show, nobody watched that show. And the people who did watch that show, it's like they were sedated. It's like it's a hum and under which like subliminal messages were played in the background about like Bush being a great president or something. Like it didn't make any fucking sense. It didn't make any sense. It stayed on the air.
SPEAKER_03
46:07 - 46:44
Do you watch any of the CSIs or any of those? No! No! Oh, you know what? The one I'm thinking of, NCIS. No! So, I saw an episode the other day. I get transfixed with bad television. Like, I never put it on on purpose, but if someone, if I'm like an hotel room or something, I flip it on or whatever it is, like it takes me a little to just shake it off. Because I just want to be like, how is this mate? How is this possible? And so, I was watching it and I was thinking, like, the comedy in it was so bad. Like the jokes were so terrible that I almost wondered, you know, they hire people for punch up. Yeah. Do they hire people for punch down? Like do they hire people to be like water down these good jokes?
SPEAKER_01
46:44 - 47:16
That's that Chuck Lori guy. He knows how to do him. He knows how to do that drone. that one style of comedy, like two and a half men, yeah. He did a bunch of those. The white noise machine. He just does those things, I guess. Nah, nah. For people that are all just exhausted from eating carbs and sugar all day, and they're just sitting in the couch, just melting. And then the dumbest fucking humor plays out in front of them, and it's just enough to keep them paying attention so they watch those Toyota commercials.
SPEAKER_03
47:16 - 48:05
I was, you know, very often I wonder about, like, how is this get made? How is this, why does anybody like this, et cetera? And I was at, like, some truck stop in the middle of nowhere, just getting gas and getting food. And there's a, there's a, there's a TV playing, there's like a little lunch counter. And there's a TV playing, there's a commercial. And there's this guy running around. It's for blinds. But this guy is running around. He tries to open his blinds. It kinda has nothing to do with it. And then he runs outside and he gets sting by a bunch of stung by a bunch of bees and he's like fighting them off. And I'm sitting there thinking like, oh, what the fuck would do? I can write commercials. Like who would do that? And there's a dude sitting next to me. Just going, he can't get away from the bees. Like just out loud to know what. To know what. Just be like, they're the bees all over it. The bees are all over it. And I'm just like, this is what it's for.
SPEAKER_01
48:05 - 48:25
I was at my friend's house once. and her friend and her mom was over and they were watching like some spider-man movie and spider-man got bit by spider and she just goes, he got bit by spider. Well now I'll never forget that.
SPEAKER_02
48:25 - 48:28
I just never forget I gotta go. He got bit by spider.
SPEAKER_03
48:29 - 48:33
I got to get out of here. I guess what it's like to get the rest of us didn't see that.
SPEAKER_01
48:33 - 49:05
It's just something about, look man, I just think just like you can buy a Prius or you can buy a Shelby GT 500. You know, one has 100 horsepower, one has 500 horsepower. Brains are like that too. They just have to be. There's just no doubt about it. And there's a lot of those little Prius brains out there, man. And if you put on a show for Prius brains, you will attract them like metal to a magnet. They find it those those the Duck Dynasty shows. You ever watch Duck Dynasty?
SPEAKER_03
49:05 - 49:06
I have thankfully not even seen a cliff.
SPEAKER_01
49:06 - 49:11
You should fucking watch it for sure just to understand there's people like that out there that look forward to it.
SPEAKER_02
49:11 - 49:19
I got the DVR said, you know, I heard what today they're gonna do shoot some ducks. Should we shoot some ducks? There's a duck show. There's a duck and they shoot it.
SPEAKER_01
49:19 - 49:29
They don't even shoot, they hardly shoot ducks. The show is more about like horrible people hanging out, doing really boring shit. And they'd be, oh, I knocked it.
SPEAKER_02
49:29 - 49:32
They're all down home. They're down home. They're country.
SPEAKER_03
49:32 - 49:45
Well, that's why that's why the people who, like when the people say like, oh, you know, I voted for Bush because I can, you know, he reminded me of me and I was like, within your fucking asshole also. Like you're also.
SPEAKER_01
49:45 - 49:55
They like to think you reminded them of them. Yeah. Yeah, it was your dad a multi-millionaire. Did you grow up in Maine and pretend you're from Texas? Like, what about him? Yeah. But what about it? The fact you doubt was you're down the CIA, too?
SPEAKER_03
49:55 - 50:26
Well, you see, you see that with Trump now, where people are like, oh, he reminds me of me and I'm just like, he's the furthest thing from you. he's the he's the I grew up in New York City and so like I remember I was a kid when it happened but I remember the center park jogger when Trump took out four full page ads in different newspapers calling for the death penalty for these black kids who didn't even do it and he was just inciting a riot basically he was just trying to race bait and get attention and like that's the guy I remember I don't relate to that guy
SPEAKER_01
50:28 - 50:50
Yeah, he's a real tough guy to relate to. I don't think people really do relate to him. I think what they relate to is the possibility that he may win and they like to be on the camp of a winner. So like a football team that they can get behind, they don't really give a shit about the players. They just decide, we're gonna win. We're fucking winning. We're winning. We're Trump. Trump's winning. Not Trump. I'm winning. For those dickheads.
SPEAKER_03
50:51 - 51:01
Yeah, but they also say the things like, you know, like he speaks like I do. I'm like that. I don't want to present it. He speaks like I do. I'm a fairly intelligent guy. I want my president to be way smarter than me.
SPEAKER_01
51:01 - 51:47
I would like a really articulate Obama type guy, but that didn't work out. Yeah, the Obama type guy was like what we were hoping for. Like when when Bush was in a office, Obama was like the fucking recipe man. Yeah. We want a black guy who's super articulate, really intelligent. And we're going to relax everybody with all his race bullshit. Look, clearly, it has nothing to do with race. It's about culture and circumstances and where you're growing up. Look at this guy. He's black. He's smarter than all of us. Good. Look, he's liberal. He's going to fix everything. He's going to relax everybody. He doesn't want quantum obeying wants to get us out of Iraq. We made it through this bush thing. We didn't, civilization didn't collapse. And then he's an office and it's kind of the same shit. He talks better. Yeah. But it's kind of the same shit is going on.
SPEAKER_03
51:47 - 52:22
I think the biggest problem is that he's too reasonable. like he's too reasonable, and the people who disagree with him are being completely unreasonable. And you can't just be like, well, let's look at both sides. If one side is being a dick, you don't look at both. It's like, see, and I'll do that, where they're like, well, let's present both sides of this argument. Here's one person against pedophilia. So let's talk to someone who's four pedophilia. And it's like, no, don't give that guy airtime. Right. Don't ever talk to that guy. Yeah. So the people who want to take rights away and who want to convince poor people to vote against their own best interests, like you don't give them equal time, but they do.
SPEAKER_01
52:22 - 53:34
Well, the problem is it's you're dealing with right and left. And then again, people get really tribal. Yeah. When they're on a team, they get super tribal. Like I told us before, but it's always struck me as being really bizarre. I was with a buddy, minus a writer. And he was talking about the election. He's like, we have to win an Idaho. If we win an Idaho or Iowa, if we win an Iowa, we got it wrapped up. I was like, what is this? We? This is we shit. It's like the Democrats. I'm like, okay, you're on a team, right? You're on a team. This is the Mariners. This is the Mariners versus the Raiders. You got this weird team mentality. And I think that's entirely one of the things that is real comfortable for people to fall into when it comes to elections. And it's one of the reasons why I think we need way more parties. At least that way we'll have more teams. Because this one, this two team option is like, if every fucking year was a Celtics versus the Lakers in the NBA finals, wouldn't you be tired of that after a while? Well, that's, I think, how America feels about the election. That's why the ratings are down. That's why people aren't really paying attention that much. That's why people are so frustrated by the choices. You can't have just two choices.
SPEAKER_03
53:34 - 53:45
Well, I used to be, you know, I'm very politically minded and active and I used to do a lot of, like, everybody should go out and vote. And then I talk to more and more people and then I'm just like, not everybody.
SPEAKER_01
53:45 - 54:00
Yeah, well. It would be nice if we didn't have a representative government. Yeah, it would be nice first of all if you didn't have like one like super delegates. What is that? What do you mean you don't have to vote for the people that your state votes for?
SPEAKER_03
54:00 - 55:07
Super delegates were basically to keep Jesse Jackson out of office. Like that's how they started. Yeah, when Jesse Jackson was starting to get some heat and I think it was 1980. Uh, suddenly there was 80 or 84. I forget, but it was a suddenly super delegates came out. But good job super delegates. No, that fucking demon out of the White House. Not only super delegates though, but even the delegates of the Electoral College, they don't have to vote. the way they're constituents do. In fact, there was the time when one of them I think was in Minnesota accidentally wrote down the name of the vice president in both slots for president vice president. So his vote didn't count. And that was like 30,000 people that he was representing. And just because he was a fucking idiot. And like you can actually if you're now obviously people wouldn't do it for the most part because you'd think oh well, then the lose the ability to do it and that's all the little power they have in their life is to be a delegate at this convention. But the fact of the matter is that like New York State can vote 100% for a Democrat and then the electoral college can go and just vote for a Republican. It can just they can do it if they want to. or vote for a different Democrat. They can write someone in.
SPEAKER_01
55:07 - 57:44
This episode is brought to you by Mizzon and Maine. No matter where you're listening, no matter what job you have, the clothes you wear to work say a lot about you. And if you're wearing boring, stiff, uncomfortable dress shirts, well, now might be the time to ditch some of the dated boring styles in your workplace wardrobes. And that's exactly what Mizzon and Maine is for. When I wear my shirt, I feel like I'm not sacrificing comfort for style. Their performance, fabric, dress shirts, feel just as good as they look. And you could put on a misdemean and dress for the job you have. You will see it hanging in your closet and genuinely get excited to put it on. And if you're still dry cleaning your dress shirts, you're living in the past. Welcome to 2024 where Ms. and Maine has the world's most comfortable machine washable dress shirts. Ms. and Maine invented the performance fabric dress shirt 10 years ago and they've practically perfected the thing. It's lightweight, breathable, moisture-wicking, wrinkle-resistant, and the most comfortable shirt on the market. Whatever you do, and wherever you wear it, know that you'll look and feel amazing. Shop now at masoninmain.com and save 20% when you spend $130 or more using the promo code Joe Rogan. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. How much do you think you're paying in subscriptions every month? The answer is probably more than you think. Over 74% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about. Thanks to Rocket Money, I'm no longer wasting money on the ones that I forgot about. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions. Monitor your spending and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. With Rocket Money, you have full control over your subscriptions and a clear view of your expenses. You can see all of your subscriptions in one place and if you see something you don't want, Rocket Money can help you cancel it. in a few taps. Rocket Money has over five million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all the apps features. Stop wasting money on things you don't use, cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash JRE. That's rocketmoney.com slash JRE. RocketMoney.com slash JRE. If they want to. It's a ridiculous idea that was conceived back when you couldn't communicate with people easily. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03
57:44 - 58:00
It was that simple. It was the point of it was that like you not everyone was qualified to vote because you didn't hear things. Yes. And so they would be like, well, here's the representative government. They'll learn from what their people want and then they'll take that over there and it was a wonderful idea. Yeah. Now it's bullshit.
SPEAKER_01
58:00 - 58:35
Yeah, it's ridiculous. And it's time has gone. I mean, if we, this is the point that I always bring up. If we didn't have a system of government in place, we had all these people, we all just woke up today. Who would say we need one person to run it? No one. Who would say that we need one person to be representative of the state because the people can't tell that. But no, we have email now. We have Twitter. We have Facebook. We have polls. We have just ways to find out what people want and people don't want. representative government in 2016 is like writing with feathers. It's like some old stupid shit that we don't need anymore. We should make them right with feathers.
SPEAKER_03
58:35 - 58:41
We should make a more powder wigs to those fucks. Yeah, I feel like you want this office while it comes with a couple of things.
SPEAKER_01
58:41 - 58:45
Yeah, I mean, if you want to be like one of those people, you should dress like one of those people that invented it.
SPEAKER_03
58:45 - 58:50
Then there'd be no Hillary email scandal because it would just be like maybe she wrote in the wrong kind of parchment.
SPEAKER_01
58:51 - 59:00
Yeah, she wrote on the actual animal skins. Yeah. And so we've don't do that anymore, Hillary. You're doing old school. She's doing old school with her non-encrypted email, right?
SPEAKER_03
59:00 - 59:04
Yeah. Have you talked about I assume you've talked about the gorilla?
SPEAKER_01
59:04 - 59:13
Yeah, we kind of talked about it a little did we? I think we did. Yeah, it's fucked up. Yeah. It's fucked up for the zoo. The zoo fucked up. You shouldn't have make it so goddamn easy to get in the gorilla tank.
SPEAKER_03
59:14 - 59:29
Yeah, so on this one, I don't know exactly what happened on this one because I'm trying to kind of block it out. I saw the whole thing. So the the kid kid fell in was it was it like a kid falling in where the parent was at fault or was it a kid doing something that shouldn't have done.
SPEAKER_01
59:29 - 01:00:06
Well, the kid was doing something that should have done, but the parents weren't watching a kid. Yeah. Look, the zoo made it way too easy to get into the grilling closure. The kid got through the fence, fell down into this water. The gorilla came in, scooped up the kid, arguably saved the kid. Yeah. But was handling it in a way that it could handle a gorilla baby. But a human baby just ripped the arms off the kid. It could really, it could really hurt it. And I just don't think Gorilla is even aware of how fragile a three-year-old human being is. Is it supposed to, if you're had a three-year-old champ or a three-year-old gorilla in the area?
SPEAKER_03
01:00:06 - 01:00:08
I can't say I've ever had that experience.
SPEAKER_01
01:00:08 - 01:00:55
I was on a TV show. I was on this radio and they brought in a champ for a scene. And this two-year-old champ with diaper on was like, I was holding it and it was beaten on me. It was like hitting me on the back, like playing around with me. They're unbelievably strong. and sinewy like a little tiny bodybuilder like they don't feel like a baby like I have little kids and when you pick up a little kid they're all soft and they feel like little kids they're mushy this is just champ was not mushy and I think this gorilla probably had no idea how to handle a baby softly you know probably are toddler really didn't know and they panicked and then they shot the gorilla but It seems to me that there's got to be a better way to do that. But I could see the parents be like, fuck that gorilla. Shoot it. Shoot it. I want my kid back.
SPEAKER_03
01:00:55 - 01:00:57
Yeah, but I could see the gorilla being like, fuck those parents.
SPEAKER_01
01:00:57 - 01:00:59
Yeah, but I like people more than I like gorillas.
SPEAKER_03
01:00:59 - 01:01:36
I do. And I love your joke about team people. Yeah. It's, I mean, it's a bit I enjoy. But there was a, so there's a bit I used to do. There was a story in Chicago like 15 years ago where a woman was holding her baby over a gorilla. Oh, yeah. Like holding it straight up and then drop the baby. And on that one, the gorilla saved the kid and picked it up and kept until the zookeeper could give it back to the mother. And the joke I used to do is be like, I'm sorry, give it back. Like at that point, a gorilla is a better parent than the person who once you voluntarily dangle your baby over a wild animal, it's death you giving of the baby away.
SPEAKER_01
01:01:36 - 01:02:26
Well, we've made it way too easy for people to survive. People survive with very little adversity. We survive with it's easy access to food, easy access to employment. If you get fired, you get to sue. If you're incompetent completely, you can claim that you were harassed at work. There's so many loopholes and it's so we're so nerfed. Every sharp edge has covered with foam and everyone's wearing a helmet. The nerf thing of America. And this is what we've got left. We've got these fucking idiots. We've got a bunch of really dumb people that are allowed to fuck and have kids. And you can't stop people from having kids. Because then someone could try to stop you. Well, I don't like your belief Steve Hofstetter. You're a crazy liberal. You think you should. You think you should be able to have a nation that's not under God. And you're going to raise your children without God.
SPEAKER_02
01:02:26 - 01:02:27
That's child abuse.
SPEAKER_01
01:02:27 - 01:02:54
And then, you know, we're doing my show the other day? No, we're doing my show the other day. We're doing my show the other day. We're doing my show the other day. But this, you know, I just think, human beings need a certain amount of adversity. We need a certain amount of difficulty to overcome, to learn those lessons, to filter that experience down into your behavior. And when you don't learn those lessons, and you just live this muted, nerfed up world, then you're holding your fucking baby over the gorilla tank, because you get in a little thrill.
SPEAKER_02
01:02:54 - 01:03:00
Who's can't believe on dummies of all of the baby? I love the baby, but I like her always too.
SPEAKER_01
01:03:00 - 01:03:25
And whoops, I'm dumb, I drop the baby, just like you drop your cell phone, just like you drop your keys and a fucking drainage ditch, you're a dummy, you drop shit, you're a stupid fuck, you're not supposed to be alive. You should've been eaten by wolves hundreds of years ago. The world was safe, you would've been the one who walked off the trail. I'm gonna go find a better way to the castle. And the wolves would've eaten you and no one would've heard from you. And that's what, it's supposed to happen to those times of people. It is.
SPEAKER_03
01:03:25 - 01:03:50
It's happened. Darwin, Big Fan, Big Fan, Big Fan, he had some good ideas. Chris Bauer's oh he's a I don't know if you know him he's a comic out of uh oh you've worked mortise yeah so uh in the inapolis yeah Chris and I are two of the owners oh you got some mortise yeah no shit yeah what a great club that's awesome man it's even better we had a new location now oh no shit yeah you guys moved uh yeah we have like balcony and everything now it's great it's like a it looks like a small theater
SPEAKER_01
01:03:51 - 01:03:59
Oh, that's terrific, man. That was a great club. Yeah, that was fun one. Everybody loves that place. That's cool though. I didn't know you own that place. Yeah, good to see you. You look fucking honest, pretty new. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03
01:03:59 - 01:04:33
Well, so Bowers has a great theory where, you know, the way to, I guess, prevent the stupid people near the population is if everyone is basically sterilized and you have to take something in order to be able to be pregnant. But the only way you get that pill is you have to take that pill every day. You don't take a pill to stop yourself from being pregnant. You take a pill to get yourself pregnant. So you have to take that pill. Both partners would have to take that pill every day for six months. Because if you can't commit to taking a pill every day for six months, you can't raise a kid.
SPEAKER_01
01:04:33 - 01:05:04
Yeah, but it's so easy for people to just do that. That's not, that's not enough of a fucking tag. It's a start. It should be like one of those crows have to get a crumb out of a tube and they have to use one tool to get the other tool to get the third tool in your field. That's how it should be. It's too fucking easy to just take a pill. You should have to do a puzzle. Every day, they should give you a puzzle. And if you fail increasing difficulty, you don't get a pill. So you get six months of correct answers to puzzles to get your pills. That's the only way you should be able to get your pills.
SPEAKER_03
01:05:04 - 01:05:09
I think that's how Chipotle gave away a free burrito once on their annual anniversary.
SPEAKER_01
01:05:09 - 01:05:18
If they did it that way for people, the fucking 405 would be a breeze. Yeah. It would be nobody. Just be a couple people waving at each other. We made it.
SPEAKER_03
01:05:18 - 01:05:36
You ever watch like period peace television where they like run into people they know like like a madman they would always like run into people the restaurant that they would right and part of me is like oh well, that's convenient and then I'm like no no there are fewer people There were fewer people then. It seems it seems possible.
SPEAKER_01
01:05:36 - 01:06:01
It's definitely possible. It was possible in the 90s. When I moved here in 1994, there was half as many people. And one of the actual statistics was, but I'm pretty sure it's half as many people. Like when you would get on the highway and the traffic would be bad, but it wouldn't be that bad. It would be no big deal. I remember people talking about getting from Santa Monica to the Valley in 10 minutes. What exactly? Ten minutes.
SPEAKER_03
01:06:01 - 01:06:03
What if they drive a Delorean?
SPEAKER_01
01:06:03 - 01:06:13
There's a driver in the car. Just getting your car in driving. This back when cars were slow a shit. The brakes were terrible. There was no traffic. You just get around. It's only nine miles. No problem.
SPEAKER_03
01:06:13 - 01:06:35
They just did it. It's the same as, you know, planes. I mean, I've only been flying about 20 years. But 20 years ago, and now that's part of because they do the spoke garbage now where they, you know, you have to fly through Cincinnati to go to Denver or whatever it is. But it's everything's full. Every single flight is full. Like the idea, when someone doesn't have a seat next to you, it's a Christmas party.
SPEAKER_01
01:06:35 - 01:06:44
Oh, yeah. Well, how about when they say we've oversold this flight? We're looking for volunteers. What are you selling some shit? You don't even really have?
SPEAKER_03
01:06:44 - 01:07:00
They absolutely do that, but in fairness, we can do that with comedy clubs too, because there's always a percentage of no shows. So there's, do we, do you do that at morties? Uh, we've, we've done it, but it's not by a high percentage. It's like because usually our no show percentage will be like 10%. So we'll over sell by like 5%.
SPEAKER_01
01:07:00 - 01:07:02
Yeah, because people, so if you have 100 people, 10 people won't show up.
SPEAKER_03
01:07:04 - 01:07:32
It depends on the price of the ticket. It depends on the act. With a celebrity, no show percentage is virtually nothing. But with like a typical day, you know, at a typical, like a, we call it a just funny. You know, someone who's good, but no one has heard of them. Right. You know, plenty of times someone would be like, oh, yeah, let's get four tickets for the club and then they only have one friend. Like that happens all the time, babysitter cancels. That's true. You know, it's too rainy out. Somebody doesn't want to go out. There are a ton tons of reasons.
SPEAKER_01
01:07:32 - 01:07:43
But you can't fuck over the people that actually paid and actually showed up. We've never once. Okay. Not one time. You have extra chairs. You can just shove them in places in case everybody shows up.
SPEAKER_03
01:07:43 - 01:08:21
If we have to, but what happens is on the ticket, it very specifically says like this is good until show time. Oh, okay. And so what happens is even if there is even if the no show rate is way less than it, is even if there's weird anomaly where the notion rate is like zero, there's still people who come late. Right. And you can't come late. Yeah, if you come late, like you might get turned away. And we tell everyone that. Even if you have a ticket. We tell everyone that. If you come late, you can get turned away. What if you get stuck in trouble? Well, you can call, you can call and say, hey, you know, we're on our way and just hold a seat. That seems reasonable. But like that. Think about it this way, bro, with Broadway. I mean, with Broadway, the door is close. Okay, first of all, fuck Broadway.
SPEAKER_01
01:08:22 - 01:08:35
Fuck all that nonsense. Fuck musicals and fuck plays. Okay, we have movies now. I want special effects. I don't want you talking loud. I want you. I want you. I want you miced up. I want you to be able to whisper and I want to hear it crystal clear.
SPEAKER_03
01:08:35 - 01:08:41
And I'm giving you no leeway. I'm giving you no leeway because the costumes are nice. Yes. I want blonde.
SPEAKER_01
01:08:41 - 01:08:47
I want writing. I want a fucking, I want new shit too. I want some old shit that doesn't apply anymore.
SPEAKER_03
01:08:47 - 01:08:59
I'm okay with musicals. I don't, you know, I can just suspend my disbelief and go, okay, everybody's singing fine. I mean. But it's got to be a good song. It's got a further the plot. It can't just be something that they know is going to sell well.
SPEAKER_01
01:08:59 - 01:09:13
Yeah. I went to a musical. Well, I should take that back because the book of Mormon is fucking amazing. Yes. That's a musical. That's what I mean. But those guys are just, they do everything right. They just do everything right. But that's also Bobby Lopez.
SPEAKER_03
01:09:13 - 01:09:27
Who did Avenue Q? I don't know who that is. I don't know what that is. Do you, you don't know Avenue Q? Nope. So Avenue Q is the other good Broadway show. Impossible. That's the two. Avenue Q was the one where they had songs, the internet is for porn and everyone's a little bit racist.
SPEAKER_01
01:09:27 - 01:09:43
Oh, okay. So it's good stuff. Yeah. Long as it's common. Oh, puppets. Yeah, it was with puppets. It was like a Broadway show with puppets. It's just me straight on Broadway. Hey, what happened to the fucking Spider-Man Broadway show where people kept falling on their head? Did they abandon that?
SPEAKER_03
01:09:43 - 01:09:46
Yeah, eventually. Yes, Spider-Man turned off the dark. Eventually turned on the dark.
SPEAKER_01
01:09:48 - 01:09:52
because people were dying, right? People could paralyze and shit.
SPEAKER_03
01:09:52 - 01:10:37
Yeah, people fell. So my wife had audience or words. This is like a freak of flypoints roadway. And so she would go to all these shows. And so she went to Spider-Man during the previews. And she texted me and she goes, one of the actors has been stuck for an hour. like just on the rope. Oh my god. And she just said, yeah, he's been stuck for an hour. And I was like, I bet you know how he feels. It's just, it was, she would go to all these shows and eventually, like, I wouldn't have to go anymore. Cause she took me to American idiot. Did you ever see that the Green Day one? No. So I like Green Day. How dare you? I enjoy that song specifically.
SPEAKER_01
01:10:37 - 01:10:40
I wish Joey Diaz was here right now. He would murder Joe, can you?
SPEAKER_03
01:10:40 - 01:11:20
Well, I like the song American Idiot because it caused people who it was about to enjoy it without knowing it was about them. Right. I like the diversity of that. But the musical was, it was like, well, I was 30 seconds in before I was like, oh fuck this show. It was like watching the best painters in the world try to play football. It was horrific because like that's a funny way of putting it. Well, I know that I know that like Green Day isn't like real, you know, punk punk, but at the same time, that's where the movement came out of and it's supposed to be anti-establishment and the whole point of the shot. I mean, the Broadwaying of it. basically made it like everybody's just jazz hands to fucking green. It was ridiculous.
SPEAKER_01
01:11:20 - 01:11:27
Well, it kind of showed what green day really is all about. Look at this. Yeah. Green day was it's it's a manufactured outrage.
SPEAKER_03
01:11:27 - 01:11:39
I was so disappointed because afterward I was like, I can't believe they lent their name to this and then I looked it up and I go, Oh, no, they were in charge. It's like that's it. That's the end of it. That's it.
SPEAKER_01
01:11:39 - 01:11:43
Well, that's why everybody was correct. And I think that's one of those things were like people.
SPEAKER_03
01:11:43 - 01:11:45
Look at the look on that guy said, is that Jared from subway?
SPEAKER_01
01:11:45 - 01:11:49
Like who is that? No, it's pen. Joe, that's younger brother.
SPEAKER_03
01:11:49 - 01:11:50
Does it look like?
SPEAKER_01
01:11:52 - 01:12:00
It's and that wasn't even on the station joke. How about the guy in a far right with the two-tone hair and the conveniently placed tattoos? How about he's annoying?
SPEAKER_03
01:12:00 - 01:12:04
Yeah. I bet I bet in his last play he played like a salesman.
SPEAKER_01
01:12:04 - 01:12:07
How about the guy with the flannel shirt? Is that a flannel shirt or a jacket? It's a blazer.
SPEAKER_00
01:12:07 - 01:12:09
It's a flannel blazer. He's the drummer for you now.
SPEAKER_01
01:12:09 - 01:12:11
Yeah, that's Christ.
SPEAKER_00
01:12:11 - 01:12:12
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01
01:12:12 - 01:12:29
Just take that picture off, JB. Take it off! Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of that stuff. You know, it's like it's like what we're talking about. We're talking about suits coming in and telling you what you can and can't say. I mean, they're doing they're being their own suits. They're trying to formulate something that they think America's going to absorb and then they're thinking about buying yachts.
SPEAKER_03
01:12:29 - 01:12:50
So Avenue Q is a great show, but the most fun part of watching it was watching the old Broadway people. thinking that they're super naughty for going to the show. Just like these like 60, 70 year old women who like just couldn't believe like they said masturbation like just yeah that was kind of I had fun watching people watch it.
SPEAKER_01
01:12:50 - 01:13:39
Well if I was going to go to Broadway that would be kind of why I would go I would go to people watch the really upper crust, rich crowd of Manhattan nights. The people that have homes and the Hamptons, like those people that go to all those Broadway shows and that's their social life. That's what they do. They go to parties, they dress really well, they eat really well. And they go to the finest restaurants in town. They always get a table with the finest restaurants. And here they are. It's like, that's like their hobby is being rich and doing rich people things. And if you want to be cultured, you have to read the New York Times. You have to read the New Yorker. And you have to go to these musicals when they come out. And you have to go to Broadway when it comes out. There's a new player. You're going to be there. Yes, we are. We have season tickets to the Broadway. They have season tickets to Broadway?
SPEAKER_03
01:13:39 - 01:13:49
Yeah, they can't. They do. They do. They're like multi-tick up packages. Those people have to do everything they can to be cultured, except actually talk to human beings.
SPEAKER_01
01:13:49 - 01:13:51
Well, they talk to a few human beings who are exactly like them.
SPEAKER_03
01:13:51 - 01:13:57
Yeah, but they don't talk to anyone who, you know, I mean, they might, they might know their gardener's name.
SPEAKER_01
01:13:57 - 01:15:04
Well, there's a bunch of people that are like that that are just completely locked up in consumption. And that's the only thing that they can discuss. I had this, this neighbor. I used to call him bling bling, because bling bling always had like, everything was shiny. He always had like expensive watches and he always had like the nicest cars. I couldn't talk to the fucking guy about anything other than like cars and houses. You know, like I would say, hey, man, I do. And they're good. Good. Good. See what that guy did to his house. Looks like shit. What year is that car? Like that's all he would talk about. All he was talking to was consumption. What was good for the property values? Where'd you get the watch? Oh, nice, nice watch. Like that was all it was into like acquiring items, moving items around fixing items, making items better. But this was, he was the American idiot. I mean, he was locked into that. I mean, I knew this guy for years. I mean, literally, that is why I called him Blaine Blaine. We'd never had a conversation about anything other than objects that he wanted, or objects that he saw that he liked. I mean, it was really weird, but there's a lot of people like that out there, especially really rich people.
SPEAKER_03
01:15:04 - 01:15:22
Yeah. When people make this argument about like, oh, well, you know, we have to allow the rich to be able to spend their money because it's for the economy and that's why they shouldn't, you know, we shouldn't have higher tax on the rich. I'm just like, do you see how they how they spend it? Do you see the ridiculousness that
SPEAKER_01
01:15:23 - 01:16:00
That is, but like it's the problem with higher taxes on the rich, is that like what's going on? What is capitalism? Like what is it? Is it a game? I mean, if one person works harder and they make more money and one person is more innovative, they're more creative, they figure out a way to extract more money from the system. Should they be penalized? I mean, aren't we all trying to do that? Are we all trying to acquire money in some way, shape, or form? And who is to say that one person, some Bill Gates type guy, is better at it so they should be penalized? Like, it seems like you're trying to rig the game because someone is just way fucking better at it.
SPEAKER_03
01:16:00 - 01:16:16
Well, I think the problem is that it's not, I don't have a problem with the people who are better at it. I have a problem with the people who are the grandson of the person who is better at it. Exactly. It was just, just the idea of like, oh, you know, my father's father's sperm was real innovative.
SPEAKER_01
01:16:16 - 01:16:27
The Hines account has always had good merit here. Yeah. Yeah, that kind of stuff. I inherent its monies. That's a tricky one. I think it's bad for the people to get it.
SPEAKER_03
01:16:27 - 01:16:42
Yeah, I look at the people who there's that quote that I forget where it's from, but that quote that America is a nation of temporarily embarrassed millionaires that like everyone thinks that they're a millionaire. They're just going through hard times right now. Oh, I get it.
SPEAKER_01
01:16:42 - 01:16:56
Yeah. Yeah, well, that's one of the reasons why poor people vote for Republicans. Yeah. They really think, wow, you need business. New businesses. But I mean, who is more anti poor people than Republicans? But how many poor people, why not being conservative?
SPEAKER_03
01:16:56 - 01:17:26
It's like, what I want to say to those people is like, I get, you know, we all want to be millionaires. We all want to be successful and that's wonderful. And we need a path to get there. And that's fantastic. But tell me this, when you are 55 and you are working in Applebee's, what the fuck is your path? Where from here to there you tell me you tell me what app you're gonna invent you tell me what you know you're gonna win on American Idol as the old lady like you tell me how the fuck are you gonna go from the lowest tax bracket to the highest one when you're already 55 and your dream has gone
SPEAKER_01
01:17:27 - 01:17:50
But it can happen. See, to say that, it's kind of silly because there's been a million stories about like someone who writes a book in their 50s and they become rich. I mean, all that stuff has happened. It's just a matter of you, but you have to do it. Whatever it is, you have to do it. If you're actually just taking all your time and you're staying at Alpabes and then you're drinking and then you're watching TV and then you fall in sleep. That just keeps that pattern.
SPEAKER_03
01:17:50 - 01:18:27
Yeah, if that person said to me while I've been working on this novel for a very long time and I have a lot of faith in and I've sent it to a lot of publishers and you know what I've been rejected a lot of times but I'm not going to take no for an answer and I'm going to pound the pavement and I'm going to find it maybe I'll self-publish it might, you know, and I'll walk around and I'll go to libraries, you know what and I'll get my book in libraries and if they said all that I would be like, you know what? Don't pay taxes. Yes. Vote Republican. Yes. But if they're just like, well, you know, my brother's got this idea, right? My brother's got this idea. Now, he just needs a little bit of seed money. It's a little bit of seed money. That person, I'm just like, I don't understand why you're voting against your own best interests.
SPEAKER_01
01:18:27 - 01:18:36
Well, I don't think they think they are. They think the people are lazy. I work all night. He's got them lazy people. They want that welfare money. They're going to take that welfare, just spend it on cigarettes. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03
01:18:38 - 01:18:52
Well, the, uh, I love during during the, uh, debt, you know, the recession, the collapse. When everybody was talking about like, I don't like how the government spends my money. So I've government spends money on things they can't afford. I'm like, you just lost your house in your car because you bought something you couldn't afford.
SPEAKER_01
01:18:52 - 01:19:10
Yeah, but they thought they could afford it. Right. Just stupid. Like the problem with those goddamn mortgages, man. Yeah, that was the craziest Ponzi scheme ever that you would have someone with an adjustable rate mortgage and also the rate gets jacked up through the roof and you're paying three times as much like what have I signed up for?
SPEAKER_02
01:19:10 - 01:19:12
I mean, I was only paying $1,500 a month and now paying 15,000.
SPEAKER_03
01:19:16 - 01:19:54
There's a great deal of deception and fraud and garbage that was done from the banks and from the people in charge, but there was also a great deal of people that didn't want to do their homework. And they just, they heard something too good to be true and they didn't know the lesson of if it's too good to be true, it's not true. Yeah, definitely. It's the same people who like, they'll open up the email, they'll be like, What do you what do you mean I got the z-mail where all I get all this money? I just click on this link right here from this person I never met Yeah, like how do you not know the first time I saw that I was like this looks wrong Well, you're smart guys, Steve, but that's what I'm saying like there's people they're dumb.
SPEAKER_02
01:19:54 - 01:19:55
It's so difficult
SPEAKER_03
01:19:57 - 01:19:58
So lonely at the top of Olympus.
SPEAKER_01
01:19:58 - 01:21:01
Well, one of the things we were talking about earlier about debt and about people with credit card debt that they don't realize it. And if you had money, I cashed money and you wouldn't, you wouldn't be so likely to go into debt with cash. Yeah. Well, I think that's the same thing with the environment. I think the environment is almost like credit because we're like throwing garbage out the window and no one's thinking about it. We're just burning fossil fuels and fucking spraying hairspray into this guy. No one's thinking about what that's doing because we don't feel it instantly and immediately. We don't have like a vault we open up shit. I'm out of air. Yeah, you know, I'm running low. We're alone. I'm low on what you don't fish left. Yeah, we don't feel it. So we continue to act in the exact same way because we're not really getting the feedback. You know, you watching any convenient truth. Well, that's kind of fucked up. Oh, gotta get a work in the morning. Click shut it off. Go to bed. Yeah. E. B. Oh wake up keep going and that's a pattern that just kept keeps getting repeated and repeated and we're not feeling the feedback of the negative actions.
SPEAKER_03
01:21:01 - 01:21:53
I was I was flying and it was during that crazy winner with a polar vortex stuff. where it was like negative two degrees and a lot of places and they got down to like negative 20 in the west. What year was that? Two years ago, I think, two, three years ago. Yeah, it was, uh, I know in LA, we're just like, yeah, I got all the way down to 55. It was terrible. And so, um, yeah, I got woken up by the bells of the ice cream truck. It was really difficult winter. But the but so I'm I'm flying somewhere in there's this guy you know going through in front of me at TSA and you know he's taken off his coat and all that stuff and TSA got a cold outside in it one of these small airports where they all went high school together and the guy goes so much for global warming and I I need to leave well enough alone and to learn how to do that but I was just like I was like actually you know global warming also makes a colder in the winter.
SPEAKER_02
01:21:53 - 01:21:54
Oh look the Jews gotta know
SPEAKER_03
01:21:57 - 01:22:10
He knew right away. Yeah, he just immediately. He just what his reaction actually was one of my favorite things anyone's ever said. He just goes, that's what they want you to believe. Oh, like they do because their scientists and they want you to believe them.
SPEAKER_01
01:22:10 - 01:22:20
Well, Sam Hersch was talking about this yesterday that Trump is a global warming denier. Yeah. A global warming denier is really close to being the president of the United States.
SPEAKER_03
01:22:20 - 01:22:29
He is not only a sea global warming denier, but the good news is if he felt he would make money off of it, he would believe in global warming. Oh, yeah. For sure. There's no platform.
SPEAKER_01
01:22:29 - 01:22:41
He can't believe him. One of what the thought process behind that is just plow straight ahead and just do whatever's good for you and don't give a fuck. Or is there like, it's not a sign. It's not a sign. It still figure it out. Yeah, for sure, right? That's really what it is. That's really a good question.
SPEAKER_03
01:22:42 - 01:23:21
I think it's, I think it's a, yeah, it's what you were saying, the idea of plowing ahead and not knowing like, I have this thing where it bothers me when someone's unhappy. Like, when I can see unhappiness, whether like someone's mad at me about something I did, or just someone's sad, like a medial, I'm like, I have to fix this, you know, like, and I don't know what that's from. I don't know how I got that way, and I try to get over it to a degree. I like being compassionate, but I also don't want it to, like, totally ruin me. And I think that there are people who are wired in completely the other direction, who they can walk by someone bleeding to death and just be like, ugh, the sidewalk used to be so much nicer.
SPEAKER_01
01:23:22 - 01:23:45
Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's probably like the type of person that you don't want an office. Yes. Yeah. It's the exact same person you don't want an office. But you also don't want the type of person in office. It's constantly worried about people being sad because then you'll never get anything done. Just 300 million people and at least 30 million of them are sad. It's fuck, right?
SPEAKER_03
01:23:45 - 01:23:49
At least. I can look as statistics being sad all day with no problem.
SPEAKER_01
01:23:49 - 01:23:53
Oh, statistics don't fuck with you. It's actual humans. It's the interaction with humans.
SPEAKER_03
01:23:53 - 01:23:57
We're about puppies. It doesn't. I'm a big dog rest of you guy.
SPEAKER_01
01:23:57 - 01:24:01
Oh, me too. So I actually go to the fucking, I can't go. I'll take them all.
SPEAKER_03
01:24:01 - 01:24:16
Dude, on this past, on this past tour, I did in 10 days, in 10 days. I stopped and got four stress. I didn't keep them, but I like helped rescue four shit in 10 days. Just drive it around. We found them on the street. Four stress in 10 days.
SPEAKER_01
01:24:16 - 01:24:21
I didn't know they were actually straight. I didn't know people don't just let their dogs out and the dogs come back. I used to have a dog like that.
SPEAKER_03
01:24:21 - 01:25:40
Well, one of them was, if it hadn't come back, I mean, if it was let out, it had been a couple days. Like it was like mad up and everything. One of them was actually someone who was someone who just keeps their door open and then their dog was just playing in traffic. But thankfully it, and he comes out and he goes, I've been looking for him and I just go, where? Where's the dog? The third one was one who was I don't think she's ever been owned. It was just on the streets of Louisville and just walking around near the airport and then the fourth one was actually one where this was the one that made me the most upset because Leesian collar right outside of a dog grooming place so I'm like oh shit one got out and so this is in Phoenix and I'm running around it's 95 degree heat and this dog is fast and I'm like running around trying to chase it and finally there's like this alcove in the shopping center where it goes in the alcove and I'm like great it'll be cornered I'll finally be able to get it and so I go in there and there's like a woman with a stroller and I go hey do you see a straight dog run by here and then I see the dog in the corner and I go oh it's right there and she goes that's my dog because that's your dog I've been chasing it for 20 minutes through a parking lot it almost got hit by three different cars and she goes oh did it Like, yeah, that's what happens when dogs run around parking lots.
SPEAKER_01
01:25:40 - 01:25:48
When people have strollers, they don't give a fuck about their dog. Yeah. I'm concerned with this little baby. This dog can go fuck itself.
SPEAKER_03
01:25:48 - 01:25:52
I just think, like, how hard is it to take that leash and just tie it to the bench that you're sitting on?
SPEAKER_01
01:25:52 - 01:26:01
It's hard for some people, just like it's hard to not hold the baby over the grill enclosure. Yeah. It's very difficult. Yeah. It's very difficult. It compels you. It's real. The struggle is real.
SPEAKER_03
01:26:01 - 01:26:05
It'd be like, you know, I really don't want to let this dog go.
SPEAKER_01
01:26:05 - 01:26:59
When I'm at favorite dogs ever, I got a call from these people that I knew. They were dog watchers and they found a dog in their neighborhood. They knew that I had dogs and the new I love dogs and this dog had mage. She had mage all over her body. She was really sick and they were like we don't even know if if she's gonna be able to make it. She's so fucked, like open scabs because of it. She was so beat up, it was so sad. And so they had washed her up and they had fed her and she was a really sweet dog and I'm like, look, I'll take a chance. Let's see what happens. Yeah. Within a week her man should grown back. It was crazy. It's just new food. She's need to be cleaned and needed food within a week. Almost all of her hair was like, it wasn't fully grown. It was all growing back. She's trying to be the greatest dog of all time. I can't go around those dogs, or I'll have a fucking house full of dogs. I'll have a hundred dogs.
SPEAKER_03
01:26:59 - 01:27:53
The one I have now, I did not plan on having him. I saw him in a shelter, and he was just the cutest thing, and I fostered him, and two days in. Someone like message me, because I made an Instagram account for him, so that maybe we would get popular and people with someone adopt him, and then someone message me, and immediately I get the message, and I was thinking, don't you take my dog? Like it's so already he was mine. So he's he's a Stafford your bull terrier, which is basically like a like a lead pick a pit bull. Yeah, it's like a I call it a pit bull face on a pig's body. It's like he's adorable and he like What's crazy is so that breed if you were to buy one? They're $2,500 And that's one without training without anything like and he was just sitting in a shelter. And so anytime someone's like, Oh, well, you know, I got to go to a shelter because I need to really, or sorry, I got to go to a breeder because I need a really specific dog. I'm just like the put there out there.
SPEAKER_01
01:27:53 - 01:27:58
Yeah, there's nothing. Anything you want every single kind of dog is out there.
SPEAKER_03
01:27:58 - 01:28:18
He's my mascot now. I take him with me to comedy clubs and everything. Really? Yeah, because he doesn't bark at all. I've heard him bark maybe like 10 times. Oh, that's all. And so I just he hangs out in the green room. Uh, he like he'll find like whatever comic like left like a box of like merch like sometimes something like shit merch or something he'll just find like the box of shirts and just like use it as a bed. He's great.
SPEAKER_01
01:28:18 - 01:28:45
He's smart. He knows that useless. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, shelters are tough. It's tough. It's tough to go there. It's tough to see that it's just the people are so irresponsible. They're so irresponsible with pets. They get them. We can't add this dog. Dark shit in the house. Like, you've got to teach them to not shit in the house. Next we really just give them up and leave them in a cage and out of sight out of mind, go home with their life. What disturbed me is when I found out how many animals pita kills every year.
SPEAKER_03
01:28:45 - 01:29:46
Oh, I got into it with the PETA spokesperson on Twitter. Did you? Oh, I fucked her up. Good. I was pretty happy with that. What was it about? Um, so she followed me on Twitter and I just right back and I go, hey, I'm so honored for the follow. Since you're the PETA spokesperson, um, could you let me know why PETA has a 90% kill rate? And so she starts doing the standard PR thing of like, well, you know, people bring dogs to us that, you know, don't really have much of a chance elsewhere. And so, you know, we're kind of a last resort. And I go, oh, well, that's actually not true because I know of shelters that are like that, and their kill rate is one tenth of yours. So if you could explain, and I just kept hammering her about it and hammering her about it and hammering her lightly. Um, calmly. I wasn't like, shut up bitch. Like, that gets you nowhere. You know, I was just trying to outwitter and it was, uh, there's a lot of fun and eventually then she's like, look, I don't speak for PETA and I was like, well, in your bio. on your Twitter, it says head of communications. So you do and now you're speaking to me.
SPEAKER_01
01:29:46 - 01:29:50
Is it a resource issue? Is Peter just not have the money to take care of them?
SPEAKER_03
01:29:50 - 01:30:28
It's actually a Batman issue. Um, you know how like racial goals. Yeah. you know how how the idea of like in in the first Christian bail bat man uh... racial goal was kind of like who's that okay so that the bad guy in batman they were like we need to save the city by destroying it right like the humans are destroying themselves so we're gonna wipe this out and and so that'll prevent the problem and that's what it is pita is basically like there's a problem with Like we love these dogs and so to stop them from overbreeding, we're just gonna murder a lot of them. Like that's where they go with it.
SPEAKER_01
01:30:28 - 01:31:06
Well, the head of Peter when you get to the top crazy person. It's well, it's getting murdered for saying this. No, you shouldn't be if they do their rude animal liberation organization. And the real the at the very head of a lot of these really radical animal rights movements and by the way, I love animals. So yeah, I get it. I get the wanting pets. to be taken care of, but they don't want pets to be taken care of. They don't want pets. If they think animal should be free, all animals should be free, all livestock, all pets, none of that should be real. All animals should just exist in some sort of a wild state.
SPEAKER_03
01:31:06 - 01:31:18
They also, she's gone on a record many, many times talking about how, you know, people should be eradicated. Yeah. And, you know, and like things like that and the people are, they are dangerous.
SPEAKER_01
01:31:18 - 01:31:28
I've had them. They just are. You know, they've thousands of years of breeding to fight each other. And if you're irresponsible dog owner, pit bulls can be fucking dangerous.
SPEAKER_03
01:31:28 - 01:31:31
Yeah, but at the same time, they say that about my dog about my staffy.
SPEAKER_01
01:31:31 - 01:32:01
Yeah, but staff for Charles Terrors, that's ignorance. They're not the same breed. See, there's a genetic court on the law. They are. Yeah, but that's not, it's not right to the laws incorrect. There's just some stuff written down on paper. When you deal with the actual genetic lines of the dog, I've had dogs that were, they were, their line was from fighting dogs. And they were impossible. You couldn't take them to the dog park, couldn't take them. It didn't matter how much I trained them, they much had, how much I was with them all the time. When dogs had bow up around them, he would get aggressive and he would want to fight.
SPEAKER_03
01:32:02 - 01:32:14
Well, I I grew with you on a lot of things, but this is this is one where where I have a completely different line because like I have a dog who is Chihuahua Bassett-Hound and I can't bring her nearer the dogs.
SPEAKER_01
01:32:14 - 01:33:13
But that's the exception to the rule. Pit bulls are kind of the rule. The problem with pit bulls is if you get it's a very dangerous dog. They're super powerful. They're really aggressive and they don't they don't respond to pain the way a lot of other dogs do because it's been bred out of them like if you follow the way they breed dogs for fighting when dogs fight if they back away if they cower they were killed that was the whole Michael Vick thing because it killed all these dogs that quit in fights so when you have all of that reinforcement genetically and you're dealing with a breed that's been raised like this for hundreds and hundreds of generations You're dealing with an incredibly aggressive dog with a really high kill drive. And when these dogs with high prey drives are given to irresponsible people, that's when you're getting all babies getting killed, little kids getting killed, dogs getting killed. I mean, it is breed specific.
SPEAKER_03
01:33:13 - 01:33:20
But, I mean, that's also the same train I thought that people, you know, if you can put on a powdered wig and say that about quote unquote, the Negro.
SPEAKER_01
01:33:20 - 01:33:42
No, you couldn't. I mean, that was the same. Because they weren't bred for fighting and killing. If you bred a bunch of people just for fighting and killing, yeah, you can make that distinction. But pit bulls were bred for fighting. I mean, that's what they were bred for. That's why they looked that way. I mean, this is up, up thing that's been done. That's recent, though, that used to be. I mean, hundreds of generations, it's not that recent.
SPEAKER_03
01:33:42 - 01:33:45
I mean, they used to be, you know, the Pippo was America sweetheart.
SPEAKER_01
01:33:45 - 01:33:46
Yeah, so it was, you know, one.
SPEAKER_03
01:33:46 - 01:33:50
Yeah, you know, PD from the little rascals had the Pippo, you know, whatever it was.
SPEAKER_01
01:33:50 - 01:33:54
But the, it was almost America's mascot, by the way, before the eagle.
SPEAKER_03
01:33:54 - 01:34:08
Yeah. And I think the problem is also is that if a dog looks like a Pippo, Because people actually isn't even a breed. It's right. What is it? American something terrier. Is the actual breed that people are talking about?
SPEAKER_01
01:34:08 - 01:34:59
Well, is an American bulldog mixed with a terrier? Yeah. Terriers are more aggressive. And then they made the new breed. Yeah. And then, but if you get a bloodline from one that is a fighting dog. And this is not someone I'd love pit bulls. I have friends that have pit bulls. I love them. They're the sweetest, most friendly dog. But if handle correctly. They still have a problem being aggressive with other dogs. They a lot of them do. Yeah. And they're really powerful dogs. And then the hands of the wrong people. We're not talking about labs. Okay. When you have a lab, labs are like universally loving and nice. You can get the exception to the rule. You get a bad lab. But overall, lab or door retrievers are really friendly, easy-going dogs. So when someone has a lab, you go, oh, he's got a lab. When someone has a pit bull, there's a fucking reason why people go, oh, great. He's got a pit bull. Yeah, because a lot of them are fucking crazy a lot.
SPEAKER_03
01:34:59 - 01:35:14
Well there and I think it I think it boils down to who is handling the dog and the idea of if you I like I hate when someone is like I'm thinking again the people it's like well either you need to know everything about it and you get one or you don't
SPEAKER_01
01:35:14 - 01:35:36
Well, you have to have a yard that can contain that dog for sure. You have to be on top of it when it comes to training it. You have to really be aware you have to read books on it. You should probably seek help with a professional, the behavioral specialist with dogs, but even then if some dog threatens your dog or grouse around your dog, it's likely that your dog's gonna clamp a hole of its neck and that dog's gonna get fucked up.
SPEAKER_03
01:35:36 - 01:35:48
But that's also why I'm a huge proponent of leash laws. I think, by the way, if LA fucked these parking tickets, leash laws, like you enforce leash laws, and we will have more money than any city in the world.
SPEAKER_01
01:35:48 - 01:35:55
Right. Yeah. Well, I guess, I mean, how many people really walk around with their dog without a leash? Is that really a problem?
SPEAKER_03
01:35:55 - 01:36:01
I couldn't, I don't know if I've ever walked my dog without running into someone who had a dog off leash dog.
SPEAKER_01
01:36:01 - 01:36:04
Yeah, that's irresponsible. What's there on a trail or something like that?
SPEAKER_03
01:36:04 - 01:36:34
I had, but even then, I had, uh, so I was walking my dogs on this trail on a leash park in, uh, I think it was Freeman. And, uh, these two huge dogs come bounding at us. And now look, maybe they're playful. One of mine's not. One of mine is a fucking terror when it comes to other dogs. And so immediately we pick them up. And this lady starts lecturing us about how you're not socializing your dogs correctly. And they'll never learn. And I was like, well, if you want my dog to bite your dog, I can put her back down if you'd like. But like, that's why they ever learn.
SPEAKER_01
01:36:34 - 01:36:39
Yeah. People who whose lives are a mess always love correcting people. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02
01:36:39 - 01:36:41
I need to get your shit together.
SPEAKER_03
01:36:41 - 01:36:43
I call it a incorrect incorrect.
SPEAKER_01
01:36:43 - 01:37:04
It's like thanks for incorrecting me. Yeah, you need to socialize your dog. Well, first of all, it's a little dog that you can pick up and big dogs are running around. Yeah, you probably should pick them up. Yeah, dogs like to bite little dogs. They do it all the time. Yeah, it still looks like a dog. Yeah, especially if there's a wrong kind of dog, you know, like huskies, huskies are a key does and like really aggressive dogs.
SPEAKER_03
01:37:05 - 01:37:30
There are so many people. There was one in my neighborhood. We're walking our dogs and all of a sudden this dog comes charging at us. And it was like a little dog. And so, you know, we pick our dogs and my wife feels least your damn dog. And the guy goes, this is a public space. And I go, yeah, that's why you least your dog. But where was this? Just this little lawn of the apartment complex? Oh, yeah. Like just a place where people walk the dogs all the time.
SPEAKER_01
01:37:30 - 01:37:34
Do you believe in leash and your dogs on trails and stuff too? Like when you're in parks?
SPEAKER_03
01:37:35 - 01:37:44
I mean, if it is a non-leash place, then that's fine. If it's a leash place, the problem is, is that if someone's dog is leash and someone's dog isn't leash, that's a bad way for them to meet. Right.
SPEAKER_01
01:37:44 - 01:37:49
Because one dog feels trapped and fine. Right. So it's about expectation.
SPEAKER_03
01:37:49 - 01:38:04
So if I know that there are going to be non-leash dogs there, I'm fine. Because I know I'm prepared and I'm ready, you know, and the dogs are prepared, and etc. But if like all of a sudden a dog just comes out of the woods, Like, that's not safe. Yeah, that's true. They're not robots. Right.
SPEAKER_01
01:38:04 - 01:38:16
You know, they're not. Well, there's so much variety in the way dogs behave and the way dogs treat other dogs and other people. Yeah. It's always like, what's this dog like? Here comes a dog. What are we dealing with? Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_03
01:38:16 - 01:38:39
Yeah, I have no idea. And I know that like even when I stop for them on the road, I know that's dangerous to do because you have no idea. Yeah. If that dog is going to like try to bite you. But I've been good. I haven't. Yeah, I keep a slope leading the car. But constantly keep but I just have a little bit of my trunk. Wow. I've seen so many of them and I can't tell you how many times I'm like, I wish I had something to put around this down.
SPEAKER_01
01:38:39 - 01:38:43
And when you capture them then when you put them in your car, what do you do? You just bring them right to a shelter.
SPEAKER_03
01:38:43 - 01:39:33
Well, so far I actually have not had that happen. Usually it is either like one time there was someone else there that happened to work for rescue that also stopped. you know one time there was like a pet store right nearby so I kind of like brought the dog into the pet store and like they were able to hold him while while you know the owner came huh so I actually haven't but oh no you know the one time yeah I brought it I brought a dog to in Louisville I brought a dog to a shelter the one this past week where like I you know put her in the car and then I had to be super careful like disinfect everything because you never know because I have a dog and so yeah I just basically I had my buddy who because I had my dog with me when I saw the other dog so I had my buddy uh we were like half mile from the hotel so he just walked back to the hotel with my dog and then I just you know drove the other dog to the shelter I mean then you just hope someone adopts it put it on social media and you hope
SPEAKER_01
01:39:33 - 01:39:37
Yeah, if you pick up a dog that has flees and the flees get in the carpet of your car.
SPEAKER_03
01:39:37 - 01:40:05
Yeah. Well, but, but that's the thing. I've given up on flea prevention. Really? Like it's something where I give my dogs the medicine for it, but like California has such a fucking flea problem that there's nothing you can do. Like after a certain amount, like every every dog here has flees. Really? Yeah. It's, it's some, some react to it worse than others. My dogs don't have flees. But there's, look, you live in a special place. Would you live in a match you will cloud above Los Angeles?
SPEAKER_01
01:40:05 - 01:40:14
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Peter killing thing. They always fox with me.
SPEAKER_03
01:40:14 - 01:40:25
It's amazing to me that people will justify it also. There's video of them going to a porch and like leading someone's dog off their porch and taking it and killing it within a couple hours.
SPEAKER_01
01:40:25 - 01:40:57
Yeah, why do they do that? Why do they lead it off the porch? Again, they want to eradicate it. They just don't want pets. They just don't want pets. Yeah. So they think it's better to kill the pet than allow the pet to be with the person they love to lead a life of slavery. So bizarre. to start kind of radical thinking, but that's just the case with everything, right? I mean, you have your reasonable people and then you have your people that take that to the utmost and take it to the furthest point of rational thinking to the point where you're like, you're killing all the dogs, you capture
SPEAKER_03
01:40:58 - 01:41:35
One of my favorite things that I've seen was John Stewart showed a video of people merging to the, I think it was like the Holland tunnel or Lincoln tunnel or something. And it was like one car, one car, one car, one car, one like you're supposed to do with merch. And every now and then someone would drive up on the shoulder and go around all of them and just be like, fuck everybody but me you know and that is who creates terrible policy that is who shouts from the rooftops about that like that is who most of us will just drive one car one car yeah and understand that that's what you do because that's what you want to have done that one guy that's late for work every day
SPEAKER_01
01:41:36 - 01:42:16
I saw a guy do that do the day he hit the breakdown lane near a light light was about to turn green and he got into the side lane where people park and just gunned it through the intersection. Almost plowed into people and then seemed speeding up ahead because he was probably late for work was early in the morning. You know, there's so many people that every day, they barely make it to work on time. And it's like there's adrenaline rush. They're addicted to. They don't even realize it. They're supposed to leave at 7.10, but it'd be more at 7.15 and 7.20. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And they run out the door. And that's the race. That's where they're getting their char. They're not getting chased by Saber II tigers, but they are getting their adrenaline fix. That's the danger.
SPEAKER_03
01:42:16 - 01:43:00
Another thing that... Another Chris Bauer's story. Another comic was asking him about because he drives around the gigs all the time and someone asked him about like because he said, oh yeah, I never speed. And he's like, what do you mean you never speed? How do you get there? And he's like, well, I'm in my 40s now. So I wake up 15 minutes earlier. and then I still get there because that's all it is like at the same time it's it's hard not to speed because when you're like when you have these straightaways when there are no cars near you and it's like why the fuck is the speed limit 60 here you kidding me I can go 100 safely easy but at the same time the idea of like well I just What are you going to say if? Unless you're doing like a 10-hour drive, you're not saving anything significant.
SPEAKER_01
01:43:00 - 01:43:06
Right, but then there's an idea of the man telling you how fast you can go. Yeah. Fuck him, man.
SPEAKER_03
01:43:06 - 01:43:18
Well, I think you should be able to to unlock levels like on your driver's license. That's a good idea. Like I could I could get a 75 mile an hour speed limit. I could easily drive a 75 with no problem.
SPEAKER_01
01:43:18 - 01:43:24
Right. If you're like a race car driver, if you know how to really drive in your super responsible your choices of lane changing and things along those lines.
SPEAKER_03
01:43:24 - 01:43:31
Yeah. Yeah. You should be able to drive fast for the problem is how do you enforce if to pull the person over and then maybe get a sticker on your car? Some. Right. That's good.
SPEAKER_02
01:43:31 - 01:43:31
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03
01:43:31 - 01:43:41
I even drive an ugly car. Like I would drive like I'd give me a purple fender. You know, give me something ridiculous that the cops can easily see that and go, okay, that's a 75 mile an hour guy.
SPEAKER_01
01:43:41 - 01:43:51
And if you text in your car, if you text while you're driving, when you're actually moving, I mean, how many times have I looked over and I saw this car acting weird and they're texting? You should just, you should lose your license for a week.
SPEAKER_03
01:43:51 - 01:43:54
Here's the better question. When do we pee on the show?
SPEAKER_01
01:43:54 - 01:44:11
Oh, you have to pee? Go pee, no. We're gonna wrap this up soon anyway. We're gonna bug you soon. All right, I'll pee quick. Go pee. Steve Hofser, ladies and gentlemen, if you want to see that video, you can find it on his YouTube channel. Actually, if you just look up Steve Hofser destroys a heckler, you'll find it easy to find.
SPEAKER_00
01:44:11 - 01:44:15
He's got a couple multi-million views, heckler videos.
SPEAKER_01
01:44:15 - 01:44:29
Wow. Maybe it's him. Maybe baits these people. We don't need to watch them. He's probably baiting these motherfuckers. Good dude though, but crazy travel on my own fucking leashes. Yeah, kid up in dogs and yelling at Peter people.
SPEAKER_00
01:44:29 - 01:44:56
Yeah, one time when I was walking around running I was just I had my headphones on a dog just came running up behind me. Yeah, it's just it scared me but I didn't like whatever just a dog and then that kind of like Good way a dog in a way a shoe shoe kind of thing and it was a girl behind me, but it came back like five minutes later was jumping at me and barking and then I was like, get the fucking dog. You know what I mean? It was like some shoes taking your dog and picking up and getting mad at me because I got mad at the dog.
SPEAKER_01
01:44:56 - 01:45:05
Well the people get mad that you don't know their dog is cool. Yeah. Like how do I know? Your dog could be a fucking maniac crazy bitch. I don't even know her. I'm talking to her.
SPEAKER_00
01:45:05 - 01:45:10
I'm really here. But what do I do? If I kick it and I'm an asshole now, because your dog's in a bite, we're gonna take a bite.
SPEAKER_01
01:45:10 - 01:45:16
Well, that's also the problem with running with headphones on. But running with headphones on is so much more inspirational than running without headphones on.
SPEAKER_00
01:45:16 - 01:45:33
Yeah, I just found out too. There's a cool thing on Spotify. You can have it set to your your your pace your your beats per minute and play like a Symphonic movie like action theme song stuff. Really? If you're running to the best sort of like that and I'll play that kind of stuff.
SPEAKER_02
01:45:33 - 01:45:35
Let's go and have a keep your down
SPEAKER_01
01:45:35 - 01:46:37
It's talking about running with headphones on a dog came up to him barking at him and you know that it is disturbing. Yeah, it happens. Yeah, it can. If you're in the wrong place the wrong time and you know obviously people do get bit you know fucking German shepherds man those little fuckers My dog got bitten by a German. I'm a daughter rather got bitten by German Shepherd recently. These people have this dog and I'm like, this is not a regular dog. You can't just have this fucking dog in your yard. He teaches dog and they're like, oh, well, she's a little rampant chance. And I go, no, this is a working dog. This is a working dog. understand like this is a really smart dog. It's going to figure out a way out of your yard and when the kids are fucked with it, it's going to bite them. It's just what's going to happen unless you teach it. Like you have to take this thing now when it's eight months old and you've got to really train it because it's already fucking 70 pounds. It's already a big ass dog. Like you're going to you have a responsibility when you have a dog like this. This is not This is not like a bulldog that'll just sit there and is happy to just drink water and chill out. This is a super active, really aggressive dog.
SPEAKER_03
01:46:37 - 01:46:40
Yeah, it needs to think. It needs to, and you need to give it puzzles.
SPEAKER_01
01:46:40 - 01:46:41
Yeah.
SPEAKER_03
01:46:41 - 01:46:43
Maybe you can get the, you can get the, the birth control pill.
SPEAKER_01
01:46:43 - 01:47:02
This is sort of the same thing along the same lines we're talking about with pit bulls. like these animals are bred for a very specific activity. In order to discourage that activity, boy, you're going to have to fucking throw a lot of tennis balls. You're going to have to get this dog a lot of exercise. You're going to have to give this dog a lot of activity, a lot of stuff that they can occupy their mind with.
SPEAKER_03
01:47:03 - 01:47:07
It's like humans being bred for office jobs. Yeah. Exactly.
SPEAKER_01
01:47:07 - 01:47:11
That's, too. You just fucking nailed it. Steve Hofstra, we got to wrap this up. I got to get out of here.
SPEAKER_03
01:47:11 - 01:47:14
But if I knew that, I would have held the pay for the longer deal.
SPEAKER_01
01:47:14 - 01:47:27
Dude, this is a casual show. Yeah. But so, where could people see you? Where could they see you live? Where could they find your Twitter is Steve Hofstraitor? Yeah. H-O-F-F-S-T. No, one at one. No, one at one.
SPEAKER_03
01:47:27 - 01:47:41
H-O-F-S-T-E-T-E-R. Okay, sorry. Uh, that's okay. It happens all the time. Um, my YouTube is uh, just YouTube, the hoffs that are, but you can also just Google it. Um, and I do, I have a podcast called Major League podcast, which is where I interview baseball players.
SPEAKER_01
01:47:41 - 01:47:44
Oh, you're baseball fan. Yeah, huge baseball fan. Cool. Cool. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03
01:47:44 - 01:47:47
I'm doing a thing now where I'm throwing out first pitches. It was like a thing.
SPEAKER_01
01:47:47 - 01:47:58
Oh, nice. Like my favorite thing to do. Well, listen, man, you're funny, funny dude. I love the heckler video. It's awesome. I love that it's blown up for you and you're getting all this attention and all those cool shits happening for you.
SPEAKER_03
01:47:58 - 01:48:05
You're part of that man and you know you tweeting out life has changed for me from six weeks ago. It's crazy. It's awesome.
SPEAKER_01
01:48:05 - 01:49:10
I love it. I love it. Congratulations. Thank you. And more success to you sir. Thanks for having me on. All right. My pleasure. My pleasure. All right. Well, that's it for the week. You fucks. So we'll see you soon. We'll be back next week and much love to all. Thank you. Bye. This episode is brought to you by Dr. Squatch. I'm going to let you in on a secret. If you want to be more confident, you have to start taking care of yourself. And a great way to do that is use Dr. Squatch, especially with their new private hygiene products. They were designed to help you look and feel fresh all over. like the growing guardian trimmer. It's perfect for grooming above and below the waist and the ball barrier dry lotion helps manage sweat and chafing while beast wipes keep you clean front to back. It's the care your body deserves. Try them today, whether you're new to Dr. Squatch or you use it every day, get 15% off your order by going to Dr. Squatch.com slash JRE15 or use the code JRE15 at checkout.