Transcript for #805 - Steve Hofstetter

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I'm excited to have you, man. I love the video. There's a video I found out about Steve because of the video of some fucking hacklers. Why do they still exist? Do people out there? Do you not know when you come to a comedy show? It's like going to the movies. You shouldn't try to change the content. You go and alcohol. You're right. That's the answer. I asked a rhetorical question. Yeah. And I got a definitive answer. It's a fucking great video though because you handled it so well. Thank you. I don't remember the subject. What was she heckling about?

Yeah, it was like a setup, but sometimes those things happen and people accuse people of doing plants. I've never heard of anybody actually doing a plant, though, of you.

A little comedy magic. Yeah, I mean, there's so many videos of hackers. You would think that they would learn. Is there a video of a hack or winning?

If that's weird, isn't it? Like, the people that only want to do, like, monologues, and if anything goes off the line, they ignore it, and they just keep going, and they hope that the, someone takes care of it.

Yeah. Well, sometimes people just start commenting like they'll like be right in front of you too, which is crazy like in the front row. Go, not so true. No, you can't say that.

It's still sucks. But what about?

And even if you see me out in the lobby and you want to have, you got a question about some of the material. Let's talk. Yeah. That's a time to talk. Absolutely. Not why you're halfway into this setup.

It is kind of funny that alcohol is what they serve at comedy clubs because for, I guess for most people, it's a good thing. For most people, alcohol is a social lubricant relaxes you. You start laughing a little bit more, but for some people, the fucking the wheels come off and they just want to chime in and yell out.

There are people that are alcoholics, though, where a switch goes off. Do you know anybody like that?

That store is the grand old opt-free for hecklers. Yeah. I mean, it really is. There's something about that place because there's no real dormant. Everybody's a comic. It's comics working the gay or comics working the door, comics working the cover booth, comics working the room. It's only comics, comics working the back parking lot, it's all comedians. So when you're there, you're under the hands of people who really don't want to be doing what they're doing. They don't really pay attention, so you have to learn how to deal with hacklers plus it's a hangout so that place is there's people packed in that place from 8 p.m. till 2 a.m. and everybody's hanging around drinking and so there's a lot of alcoholics and so you just get used to those dudes that have shark eyes They're eyes glass over and they're gone. You look in there. You're like, oh, Bobby's not here anymore. Yeah, Bobby. This episode is brought to you by Robin Hood. You want financial security for you and your family? Well, you got to make it happen. The world doesn't owe you a living and that's how I've always approached my finances and you can too with Robin Hood. Robin Hood pioneered commission-free stock trading over a decade ago, and they continued to offer innovative products to help you maximize your money's potential. With over 23 million funded customers, Robin Hood is helping people build a better financial future. Robin Hood gives you complete autonomy to make investments to pursue your future goals, whatever they are. Maybe you want to look towards investing for your family's future, investing for retirement, or even a vacation to the Bahamas. We all have some bucket list items to cross off and Robinhood has tools to help you pursue them. Investing a small amount now could make a big difference 30 years down the road. Take control of your financial future with Robinhood. Download the app or visit Robinhood.com to learn more. Disclosure, investing involves risk and loss of principle is possible. Returns are not guaranteed. Other fees may apply. Robin Hood Financial LLC, member SIPC, is a registered broker dealer. This episode is brought to you by Zippercruiter. Look, patience is good at all. But if you're just sitting around waiting for everything good to come your way, well, you're going to be disappointed. And you're going to miss out on some amazing opportunities like your dream vacation. You have to work, save that money and actually plan it out. It's never going to happen if you just sit on your couch at home thinking about it. And the same applies to your company. You don't want to miss out on hiring the best people for your team. And luckily, there's an easy solution that you can use. It's Zippercouter. Try it for free right now at zippercouter.com slash rogan. They'll find you qualified people for your role quickly. And once you find someone you like, Zippercouter can help put you at the front of the pack. Just use their pre-written invite to apply message to connect with your favorite candidates ASAP. So, let ZipperCruiter give you the hiring hustle that you need. See why, four out of five employers who post on ZipperCruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Just go to zippercruiter.com slash rogan to try it for free. Again, that ZipperCruiter.com slash rogan. ZipperCruiter. The smartest way to hire. I didn't meet people like that until I was like 30. When I was 30, I started to meet real alcoholics where they'd have one drink. And then they were gone. They were just off to the races.

Completely speculative. Because I don't have that gene, whatever that wacky gene is. Yeah. You have a couple of drinks and you just go off the rails. I don't have that. I'm a happy drunk. Like when I get drunk, I like to laugh and hug people. I don't, I don't understand the go blank, make a Maltov cocktail, throw to the cops, wake up and jail. What the fuck? What happened? They did what?

I feel like with people like that, there's like patterns that are deeply carved into their their psyche from childhood. Like maybe their mom cried a lot of their dad cried a lot and they got used to it and became a comforting pattern. Oh, but yeah, those things are, I mean, people say, oh, what are you going to do man? The guy's sad. Well, the fuck did he get sad? He's living in America. He's got two feet. He doesn't have cancer. The fuck is he whining about? There could be a hundred things wrong. You're a young white person in America. We shut up.

Oh, so you did it wrong.

The idea that someone could tell you after 12 years of sobriety that you're not really This isn't even consistent.

people you know below the bar like all these loser guys just kind of like nursing their beer and looking up you like I wish I could do that be like we'll then get the fuck up on the bar why if you want to do it do it can anybody just dance on a bar because that makes me reconsider all the times of like touch the bar and then touch food and then oh yeah they put my phone up there and touch that and then touch food my the bottom my shoes are not clean yeah nobody's shoes are clean how are you just a lot of is that that's kind of violate health codes all right

Now, did you hook up with one of those girls afterwards?

That's you. You have, you have the unique personality trade that allows you to get crazy and dance on bars. Yeah, that is a strange thing though about the people that are in those 12 step programs because they really do get super attached to the idea that that's the only way to be sober.

Did you ever do a program thing? Did you go to an alcoholics anonymous meeting or just stop?

So I'm sure you didn't have like the flu or something that sounds like the flu.

Have you ever heard of a drug that does that? Like a drug that makes you get how the chills? I mean, either probably. I mean, I might just be, was he? No, it doesn't sound like it. That sounds like you got something happened.

So you're like, all right. Yeah.

Wow, that's a, that's a week of call. Yeah. That's a week of call. The world hands you four aces and you just throw up on them. Yeah. What a hand of Kyle? Yeah. You ever heard of the term dry drunk? No, what's that? Dry drunk is what people like to say, people who are alcoholics who aren't drinking, but aren't in a program are their dry drugs. And so you still have all the mental issues that a drunk has, you're just waiting to go off. You don't really have the stability that a 12 step program provides.

I mean for some people for sure, but a 12 stamp program is weird because doesn't it require belief in a higher power?

You know, I've been amazing. That's so crazy.

Well, they've had eye-begining forever. Eye-begining isn't it? It's a drug that it's from the aboga plant. And it's supposed to be fantastic for people that have heroin addiction, alcohol addiction, even addicted personality disorders, gambling, problems, things like those lines. It's supposed to be this ruthlessly introspective psychedelic experience that brutally breaks down your pathways, your thinking pathways, and shows you why you keep going into this self-sabotage mode. And it's apparently unbelievably uncomfortable to go through. Psychologically, physically, it doesn't feel good, but when it's over, the rate of retention of the retention of sobriety, the rate of sobriety that people retain afterwards is staggering. It's like in the 80s, the high 80% rather than anything.

Yeah. Give something one star if you haven't even tried it.

Unfortunately, I love mad at myself.

That's good though because then you get to know. Try listening this more on. Let me let me see what they have to say about David. Why isn't that men these days don't want to open up a car door? Don't want to open up a door for a lady. Get upset when you're expected to pay and don't understand that you do want your own career. And as it turns out, the Nielke was fantastic. Yeah, you're just annoying. Yeah, there's a lot of those. I always go to someone's bad review. I always go to their page and see what they think about other stuff.

Like, what do they know? Sushi and South Dakota. Yeah, exactly. We're getting your fish, man.

Yeah. It's um, Yelp is tricky. Because it's, it's like YouTube reviews and a lot of other things. You're relying on random people. Like, like, if I call you up and I go, hey Steve, what do you think about this? Well, I know Steve's an intelligent guy. He's going to give me a really nuanced thought-out opinion of whatever word discussing. But if you don't know a person, you're just reading their type. Their type could be, I mean, when they write things down, the printed word could be just as valid as some fucking psychopath printed word. I mean, you don't really don't know. You gotta go deep deep deep into their paragraphs and you gotta really try to

So we know what people do for a living. That would help. And like, how many stars your co-workers give you? Yeah. Usually you get your help. You get your help before you're allowed to help. You know, that guy with one star, I bet he gives out a half a star. I bet all the people who work with him, they give him a half a star. And he puts one star in for the drug review place and one star for his mom. You fucked up.

Well, it's people who can just stalk you. If someone who's like a shitty coworker that has it against you, can write a much of mean shit about you and then every time you pull up your name, You see this mean shit written against you.

I was reading this thing about this guy who's getting stalked online by this other guy and they found the person and it was his 17 year old kid that was the son of one of his friends. and had no real beef with them, but it was just doing it for sport. Just for the fun of it. Just because he knew he could fuck with the guy in Scaram, and he did all this Holocaust, Jew stuff, and all this anti-Semitic stuff. He's really, really crazy stuff like sent ashes to their house and left ashes at their front door. Like just a total psychopath a kid 17 year old kid and it apparently had haunted this guy for a long time and he was trying to figure out who it was then he hired someone. It's pretty easy to find people once you hire someone as an expert. They found the kid like instantly and they realized it was this fucking high school kid that was the son of one of his friends and that they all had a sit down and he they printed up all the stuff that this kid had written for like a fucking year and handed it to him and the kids started crying and I don't know why I did it and I got addicted to it I couldn't stop and like I addicted to it Well, now you're playing a game. Yeah. And if you're not there when the person is reacting, especially when you're 17 and your emotions may be they're not so complex or they're not so rather formed than not mature. Yeah. You know, maybe completely aware that every action has a reaction on the other end, whether you see it or not. There is a

Yeah, there's too many people anyway. Yeah, hit the button. Let's clear off the 405.

Yeah, if you don't feel it, there's like that's the problem with drones, right? I mean, they say that drone pilots, what is this? This episode is brought to you by Crash Champions. There's nothing worse than being overwhelmed by an unexpected car accident and not knowing what to do next. But as bad as a situation like that might be, Crash Champions is here to answer the call turning your bad day around with trusted collision repair. They'll save the day by getting your vehicle back on the road quickly, safely, and looking like the accident never happened. Next time, a wreck ruins your life, remember to trust Crash Champions. They will answer the call and make it right. Ask your auto insurance company about Crash Champions, visit CrashChampions.com to find a location near you. This episode is brought to you by SimplySafe. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home. Get a peace of mind with SimplySafe. It's advanced home security that puts you first. And these guys are some of the best in the business. They were named US News and world reports best home security system for five years running. And I think part of that is because simply safe has some of the most advanced systems out there with 24-7 professional monitoring and low upfront costs. Believe it or not, they have monitoring plans for less than a dollar a day. Picture this. You've been traveling for days. You come home to see your house has been broken into everything's a mess. They took off a lot of your valuables. And now your home doesn't feel as secure as it did before. With simply safe, that might have been avoided. Their systems and agents could have helped stop the crime in real time. Using this smart alarm, wireless indoor camera they could have seen, spoken to and even deterred the burglars while sending the police. and you get to go on with your life knowing that simply save has you covered. It's time to get the protection that you deserve. Try out simply save today, risk free. Right now, the listeners of this podcast can get an exclusive 20% discount on a new system with fast-protect monitoring. Just go to simply save.com slash rogan. That's simply save.com slash rogan. There's no save like simply save. That they say that drone pilots suffer through a lot of severe anxiety when they're done and like it's apparently incredibly psychologically stressful because you're doing this weird thing or you're sort of sending this robot and they're doing it from Nevada right and so the robots are in Afghanistan or Pakistan or Yemen or wherever the hell they are, and they're launching missiles from these sky robots, and it just feels so detached and creepy to the people that are doing it.

Yeah, I don't think I would. I mean, if some like, Hitler character. Yeah, I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't. I don't think it doesn't.

Have you ever talked to soldiers about that? I haven't. The real PTSD with soldiers is things they can't control. That's what really sucks with them. Like worried about being attacked, worried about being blown up, worrying about driving over an IED. The soldiers that are proactive, like rangers, navy seals, guys you go in and hunt people down. They don't have that much PTSD. They're different types of people. I mean, some of them have just been through crazy fire fights and they wake up with horrible nightmares. But a shocking amount of them realize they're doing the right thing. They have to do this. This needs to be done and they're the man to do it. Yeah. They're trained for it. This is their job and they're all together and they're like a family. It's, it's, and they feel more superhero-esque. Yeah. So when you see like a guy, a cop and a movie that feels bad that he has a shoot-a-bad guy, that's like the writer. That's the writer if the writer was a cop. Yeah, you know, or maybe a cop that maybe shouldn't be a cop, which is definitely some of those out there or a writer who shouldn't be a writer.

Yeah. Well, you know, I mean, those movies like how many of these movies have like these like we're talking about the grooves that are carved in that some people have that get depressed very easily or behave really like really sad, really easily. Like those grooves, those psychic grooves that they think that they're supposed to behave like that. Those are carved into tropes and storylines and plots and there's so many plots or so many movies you watch. Like you didn't even write this, okay? You knew what has already been written about these subjects and you just sort of repeated it with different words. Yeah. Like this isn't really a story you wrote because this story has happened a fucking million times in movies.

Well, that was the argument against gangster rap. that the argument was that they were forcing kids by, you know, making this music really popular. They were forcing kids to accept this type of behavior as being normal and even exemplary, like the exemplary of a bad mother fucker, you're shooting people and you ever go back and listen to like the old NWA.

It was so great. That's nice. Yeah. You know, it was a sad time for me, man. When MC search got his own daytime talk show. Oh my god. Third base. I just love the end of it goes the weasel because the weasel goes.

Someone hit my eye. But if you watch the MC search, uh, daytime talk show, you like this can't be real. He's punk in us. Yes, this is a character he's playing. He's doing that Joaquin Phoenix thing that Joaquin Phoenix did for a year.

Well, and she searches done because he had the most preposterous daytime talk show. Did you ever watch it?

It was such. And you know, I mean, he's like, I'm a dad now, but it's like play the beginning of it because they're beginning of the show. See if you can find it because the beginning of it is so fucking preposterous when he explains how we're going to keep it real.

It's just, it's a dangerous way of talking.

Oh, extras and between going back and forth from extra work to open. Thanks.

If you don't have one food to take home though.

That's a minor infraction. And you think about the world. Extra is an open micers in the paid furniture world. That's one of the keeping it real things about the comedy store. You're constantly around. Crazy people a lot of micers especially they're always hanging around because it's kind of like a hangout on top of being a club.

Oh God, I mean open mics are madness. I mean there's because anybody can get on stage and a lot of times One of the things about stand up is that a lot of people don't see themselves the way other people see them. And that gets exposed when you get on stage because you realize, oh, this is how people see me. People see me as being an obnoxious, really annoying person that thinks they're funny. I see myself as being this really funny person. And then they have to work that out. It's almost like a self-improvement course on communication skills because you're brutally reminded of how poor your communication skills are when you don't get the last. And you're like, oh, what is wrong with my thoughts? Is it my thought? How come my friends take it's funny? Like what is it today?

This crowd sucks. Yeah. This crowd's bullshit. Oh, yeah. I mean, how many times have I heard that?

No one understood me. The worst thing we can have to do with those people is some one day. They'll just catch that magic wave where you know, there's this one crowd where almost anyone can do well. Yes. This is weird crowds. They're just so good and so hyped up that someone with like really shitty skills can get up there and just make it happen.

Here's a great story that I've told before. Unfortunately for people who've heard it, but Joey Diaz was the early days of the concert. There was one woman who was insane. I mean, completely insane. There was nothing remotely funny about anything she ever had to say. She was brutal. And she would go up and every time she would go up, everybody would have to get out of the room. It was just like, what? What is happening here? How does she even get spots? Was there in the 90s when it was easier to get spots? And so Joey Diaz goes backstage behind the OR. There's a curtain. And he goes backstage and takes his pants off. And every time she hits a punch line, he opens up the curtain and shows the crowd his balls. It's got no pants on. So every time she hits the punchlines, he's doing this. And she's killing. I mean, killing. And you see the confident look in her face. She has no idea what's going on. Oh. And the strider, swagger. And she hits those same punchlines. And all of a sudden, Joey comes out with his balls and everybody's crying laughing. And she never knew. She never knew. She had no idea. Did anyone know and ever told her? I don't think so. If they did, she would never believe it. Bullshit, I was killing. Yeah. Like, she was just insane.

Yes, that's not the difference. That's a very good point. It's a very good way of putting it and it goes back to what we were talking about earlier that stand up in a lot of ways is almost like a vehicle for introspective observation like you're almost forced to examine yourself in a way that very few people do because people like to put up blinders and that's why people like to drink, you just kind of like, push it all away and ignore all the faults and press on. And when you're doing stand up, I mean, you really, you can't do that because bombing is so unbelievably brutally painful that you, you go, okay, that can happen again.

The Queen Mary is a boat by the way for. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Well, it's on the, it's not even like, in a bar called the Queen Mary. It's on the Queen Mary. What have they talking about?

Yeah, well, they maybe just doesn't understand himself. Yeah. I mean, how many guys have you met like that that like are that around girls or around a job opportunity around. They think that they're way more qualified for something. There are like, I'm going to go get this flight's president job, bro. I'm going to go get it. I'm going to run. There's a lot of people are just completely crazy.

And that's what they should call it. The mental illness or slash a shreds of talent. Yeah, because American illness. Yeah, for every one person that you get that gets through the entire, like who's like the big name stars that have gone through American. Kelly Clarkson, Kerry Clarkson. Those those two those two are huge. And there's the guy who went a little crazy. The young country music giga. Yeah, what happened to him? I was actually in his true Hollywood story I'm glad you said true Hollywood story because if you said yes the other night no I was and he was the guy who got me finally he'll I know

Fucking lawyers, man. That's why lawyers you can't have podcasts. No, you can't. You're not allowed. You fucks like a lawyer podcast. They can't come on them. They can't. You can't have a lawyer telling you what you can't and can't say about podcasts. Yeah. You just, you know, allowed. Because this is the last place. The last bastion of free speech as far as like just expressing yourself in conversation. There's no, this is the only one left.

Well, I'm sure you've seen the scene in Team America world, please. Yeah. The, the sex scene between the two puppets, they made like 10 minutes longer than they wanted it to be where he shits on her chest or she shits on his chest. They pee on each other. They went nuts. And the reason why they did it was because they could cut some of it. It would still be preposterous, which it won't have been. Yeah. But that's a common strategy. We did that in the 90s with news radio. We had an episode of news radio where Phil Hartman said penis on the air on the radio show. And then it was through the episode. He said penis like 20 times. And they were like, you can't say penis more than eight times. And there was like eight times. Yeah. Who makes that? Yeah, it's fucking assholes, assholes, assholes who decide what America is willing to sell assholes for them. Yeah, I'm crazy. Rebel, bro. Thank you, it was four times. But they didn't, they didn't, they aren't. So it didn't air. They didn't air. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. They didn't. No, it had to air in like season two or three. Like whatever season it was, maybe with season two, I don't remember what season it was. But it, it had to air like the next season or the season later. And like we were told, hey, the penis episode's air in tonight. We were like, what? It's not never aired.

That would totally play at the whiskey. Yeah, like a fucking punk band. The penis episode. Yeah.

It's totally arbitrary and there's no rules anywhere.

Yeah, penis juice comes out. Seat Satan comes through the floor. There's a way to to do art and it's definitely not by having a bunch of people that have money invested in it looking around it going okay how can we maximize this how can we make this as sellable as possible that's just the opposite of the kind of mentality that you need to make something good and if it just like you're talking about with comedy or people don't see themselves. If you don't see yourself, however people see you, it's not going to work and it won't be funny. Well that's kind of the same thing with art. If you produce a television show or whatever it is and people don't enjoy it, well it won't go anywhere. It'll fall off and then it's not good anymore. But to have someone come in and say, oh, you got to do this and you got to do that because we know better because we're the ones with the money.

But that's the, there's a, there's a style of jam. Like it had over 100 episodes. Yeah, I remember Jagd that Jag was on while I was on news radio. We were always like, what in the fuck is going on? How is that a real show? If you have a watch that show, nobody watched that show. And the people who did watch that show, it's like they were sedated. It's like it's a hum and under which like subliminal messages were played in the background about like Bush being a great president or something. Like it didn't make any fucking sense. It didn't make any sense. It stayed on the air.

That's that Chuck Lori guy. He knows how to do him. He knows how to do that drone. that one style of comedy, like two and a half men, yeah. He did a bunch of those. The white noise machine. He just does those things, I guess. Nah, nah. For people that are all just exhausted from eating carbs and sugar all day, and they're just sitting in the couch, just melting. And then the dumbest fucking humor plays out in front of them, and it's just enough to keep them paying attention so they watch those Toyota commercials.

I was at my friend's house once. and her friend and her mom was over and they were watching like some spider-man movie and spider-man got bit by spider and she just goes, he got bit by spider. Well now I'll never forget that.

It's just something about, look man, I just think just like you can buy a Prius or you can buy a Shelby GT 500. You know, one has 100 horsepower, one has 500 horsepower. Brains are like that too. They just have to be. There's just no doubt about it. And there's a lot of those little Prius brains out there, man. And if you put on a show for Prius brains, you will attract them like metal to a magnet. They find it those those the Duck Dynasty shows. You ever watch Duck Dynasty?

You should fucking watch it for sure just to understand there's people like that out there that look forward to it.

They don't even shoot, they hardly shoot ducks. The show is more about like horrible people hanging out, doing really boring shit. And they'd be, oh, I knocked it.

They like to think you reminded them of them. Yeah. Yeah, it was your dad a multi-millionaire. Did you grow up in Maine and pretend you're from Texas? Like, what about him? Yeah. But what about it? The fact you doubt was you're down the CIA, too?

Yeah, he's a real tough guy to relate to. I don't think people really do relate to him. I think what they relate to is the possibility that he may win and they like to be on the camp of a winner. So like a football team that they can get behind, they don't really give a shit about the players. They just decide, we're gonna win. We're fucking winning. We're winning. We're Trump. Trump's winning. Not Trump. I'm winning. For those dickheads.

I would like a really articulate Obama type guy, but that didn't work out. Yeah, the Obama type guy was like what we were hoping for. Like when when Bush was in a office, Obama was like the fucking recipe man. Yeah. We want a black guy who's super articulate, really intelligent. And we're going to relax everybody with all his race bullshit. Look, clearly, it has nothing to do with race. It's about culture and circumstances and where you're growing up. Look at this guy. He's black. He's smarter than all of us. Good. Look, he's liberal. He's going to fix everything. He's going to relax everybody. He doesn't want quantum obeying wants to get us out of Iraq. We made it through this bush thing. We didn't, civilization didn't collapse. And then he's an office and it's kind of the same shit. He talks better. Yeah. But it's kind of the same shit is going on.

Well, the problem is it's you're dealing with right and left. And then again, people get really tribal. Yeah. When they're on a team, they get super tribal. Like I told us before, but it's always struck me as being really bizarre. I was with a buddy, minus a writer. And he was talking about the election. He's like, we have to win an Idaho. If we win an Idaho or Iowa, if we win an Iowa, we got it wrapped up. I was like, what is this? We? This is we shit. It's like the Democrats. I'm like, okay, you're on a team, right? You're on a team. This is the Mariners. This is the Mariners versus the Raiders. You got this weird team mentality. And I think that's entirely one of the things that is real comfortable for people to fall into when it comes to elections. And it's one of the reasons why I think we need way more parties. At least that way we'll have more teams. Because this one, this two team option is like, if every fucking year was a Celtics versus the Lakers in the NBA finals, wouldn't you be tired of that after a while? Well, that's, I think, how America feels about the election. That's why the ratings are down. That's why people aren't really paying attention that much. That's why people are so frustrated by the choices. You can't have just two choices.

Yeah, well. It would be nice if we didn't have a representative government. Yeah, it would be nice first of all if you didn't have like one like super delegates. What is that? What do you mean you don't have to vote for the people that your state votes for?

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Yeah, it's ridiculous. And it's time has gone. I mean, if we, this is the point that I always bring up. If we didn't have a system of government in place, we had all these people, we all just woke up today. Who would say we need one person to run it? No one. Who would say that we need one person to be representative of the state because the people can't tell that. But no, we have email now. We have Twitter. We have Facebook. We have polls. We have just ways to find out what people want and people don't want. representative government in 2016 is like writing with feathers. It's like some old stupid shit that we don't need anymore. We should make them right with feathers.

Yeah, I mean, if you want to be like one of those people, you should dress like one of those people that invented it.

Yeah, she wrote on the actual animal skins. Yeah. And so we've don't do that anymore, Hillary. You're doing old school. She's doing old school with her non-encrypted email, right?

Yeah, we kind of talked about it a little did we? I think we did. Yeah, it's fucked up. Yeah. It's fucked up for the zoo. The zoo fucked up. You shouldn't have make it so goddamn easy to get in the gorilla tank.

Well, the kid was doing something that should have done, but the parents weren't watching a kid. Yeah. Look, the zoo made it way too easy to get into the grilling closure. The kid got through the fence, fell down into this water. The gorilla came in, scooped up the kid, arguably saved the kid. Yeah. But was handling it in a way that it could handle a gorilla baby. But a human baby just ripped the arms off the kid. It could really, it could really hurt it. And I just don't think Gorilla is even aware of how fragile a three-year-old human being is. Is it supposed to, if you're had a three-year-old champ or a three-year-old gorilla in the area?

I was on a TV show. I was on this radio and they brought in a champ for a scene. And this two-year-old champ with diaper on was like, I was holding it and it was beaten on me. It was like hitting me on the back, like playing around with me. They're unbelievably strong. and sinewy like a little tiny bodybuilder like they don't feel like a baby like I have little kids and when you pick up a little kid they're all soft and they feel like little kids they're mushy this is just champ was not mushy and I think this gorilla probably had no idea how to handle a baby softly you know probably are toddler really didn't know and they panicked and then they shot the gorilla but It seems to me that there's got to be a better way to do that. But I could see the parents be like, fuck that gorilla. Shoot it. Shoot it. I want my kid back.

Yeah, but I like people more than I like gorillas.

Well, we've made it way too easy for people to survive. People survive with very little adversity. We survive with it's easy access to food, easy access to employment. If you get fired, you get to sue. If you're incompetent completely, you can claim that you were harassed at work. There's so many loopholes and it's so we're so nerfed. Every sharp edge has covered with foam and everyone's wearing a helmet. The nerf thing of America. And this is what we've got left. We've got these fucking idiots. We've got a bunch of really dumb people that are allowed to fuck and have kids. And you can't stop people from having kids. Because then someone could try to stop you. Well, I don't like your belief Steve Hofstetter. You're a crazy liberal. You think you should. You think you should be able to have a nation that's not under God. And you're going to raise your children without God.

And then, you know, we're doing my show the other day? No, we're doing my show the other day. We're doing my show the other day. We're doing my show the other day. But this, you know, I just think, human beings need a certain amount of adversity. We need a certain amount of difficulty to overcome, to learn those lessons, to filter that experience down into your behavior. And when you don't learn those lessons, and you just live this muted, nerfed up world, then you're holding your fucking baby over the gorilla tank, because you get in a little thrill.

And whoops, I'm dumb, I drop the baby, just like you drop your cell phone, just like you drop your keys and a fucking drainage ditch, you're a dummy, you drop shit, you're a stupid fuck, you're not supposed to be alive. You should've been eaten by wolves hundreds of years ago. The world was safe, you would've been the one who walked off the trail. I'm gonna go find a better way to the castle. And the wolves would've eaten you and no one would've heard from you. And that's what, it's supposed to happen to those times of people. It is.

Oh, that's terrific, man. That was a great club. Yeah, that was fun one. Everybody loves that place. That's cool though. I didn't know you own that place. Yeah, good to see you. You look fucking honest, pretty new. Thank you.

Yeah, but it's so easy for people to just do that. That's not, that's not enough of a fucking tag. It's a start. It should be like one of those crows have to get a crumb out of a tube and they have to use one tool to get the other tool to get the third tool in your field. That's how it should be. It's too fucking easy to just take a pill. You should have to do a puzzle. Every day, they should give you a puzzle. And if you fail increasing difficulty, you don't get a pill. So you get six months of correct answers to puzzles to get your pills. That's the only way you should be able to get your pills.

If they did it that way for people, the fucking 405 would be a breeze. Yeah. It would be nobody. Just be a couple people waving at each other. We made it.

It's definitely possible. It was possible in the 90s. When I moved here in 1994, there was half as many people. And one of the actual statistics was, but I'm pretty sure it's half as many people. Like when you would get on the highway and the traffic would be bad, but it wouldn't be that bad. It would be no big deal. I remember people talking about getting from Santa Monica to the Valley in 10 minutes. What exactly? Ten minutes.

There's a driver in the car. Just getting your car in driving. This back when cars were slow a shit. The brakes were terrible. There was no traffic. You just get around. It's only nine miles. No problem.

Oh, yeah. Well, how about when they say we've oversold this flight? We're looking for volunteers. What are you selling some shit? You don't even really have?

Yeah, because people, so if you have 100 people, 10 people won't show up.

But you can't fuck over the people that actually paid and actually showed up. We've never once. Okay. Not one time. You have extra chairs. You can just shove them in places in case everybody shows up.

Fuck all that nonsense. Fuck musicals and fuck plays. Okay, we have movies now. I want special effects. I don't want you talking loud. I want you. I want you. I want you miced up. I want you to be able to whisper and I want to hear it crystal clear.

I want writing. I want a fucking, I want new shit too. I want some old shit that doesn't apply anymore.

Yeah. I went to a musical. Well, I should take that back because the book of Mormon is fucking amazing. Yes. That's a musical. That's what I mean. But those guys are just, they do everything right. They just do everything right. But that's also Bobby Lopez.

Oh, okay. So it's good stuff. Yeah. Long as it's common. Oh, puppets. Yeah, it was with puppets. It was like a Broadway show with puppets. It's just me straight on Broadway. Hey, what happened to the fucking Spider-Man Broadway show where people kept falling on their head? Did they abandon that?

because people were dying, right? People could paralyze and shit.

I wish Joey Diaz was here right now. He would murder Joe, can you?

Well, it kind of showed what green day really is all about. Look at this. Yeah. Green day was it's it's a manufactured outrage.

Well, that's why everybody was correct. And I think that's one of those things were like people.

Like who is that? No, it's pen. Joe, that's younger brother.

It's and that wasn't even on the station joke. How about the guy in a far right with the two-tone hair and the conveniently placed tattoos? How about he's annoying?

How about the guy with the flannel shirt? Is that a flannel shirt or a jacket? It's a blazer.

Yeah, that's Christ.

Just take that picture off, JB. Take it off! Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of that stuff. You know, it's like it's like what we're talking about. We're talking about suits coming in and telling you what you can and can't say. I mean, they're doing they're being their own suits. They're trying to formulate something that they think America's going to absorb and then they're thinking about buying yachts.

Well if I was going to go to Broadway that would be kind of why I would go I would go to people watch the really upper crust, rich crowd of Manhattan nights. The people that have homes and the Hamptons, like those people that go to all those Broadway shows and that's their social life. That's what they do. They go to parties, they dress really well, they eat really well. And they go to the finest restaurants in town. They always get a table with the finest restaurants. And here they are. It's like, that's like their hobby is being rich and doing rich people things. And if you want to be cultured, you have to read the New York Times. You have to read the New Yorker. And you have to go to these musicals when they come out. And you have to go to Broadway when it comes out. There's a new player. You're going to be there. Yes, we are. We have season tickets to the Broadway. They have season tickets to Broadway?

Well, they talk to a few human beings who are exactly like them.

Well, there's a bunch of people that are like that that are just completely locked up in consumption. And that's the only thing that they can discuss. I had this, this neighbor. I used to call him bling bling, because bling bling always had like, everything was shiny. He always had like expensive watches and he always had like the nicest cars. I couldn't talk to the fucking guy about anything other than like cars and houses. You know, like I would say, hey, man, I do. And they're good. Good. Good. See what that guy did to his house. Looks like shit. What year is that car? Like that's all he would talk about. All he was talking to was consumption. What was good for the property values? Where'd you get the watch? Oh, nice, nice watch. Like that was all it was into like acquiring items, moving items around fixing items, making items better. But this was, he was the American idiot. I mean, he was locked into that. I mean, I knew this guy for years. I mean, literally, that is why I called him Blaine Blaine. We'd never had a conversation about anything other than objects that he wanted, or objects that he saw that he liked. I mean, it was really weird, but there's a lot of people like that out there, especially really rich people.

That is, but like it's the problem with higher taxes on the rich, is that like what's going on? What is capitalism? Like what is it? Is it a game? I mean, if one person works harder and they make more money and one person is more innovative, they're more creative, they figure out a way to extract more money from the system. Should they be penalized? I mean, aren't we all trying to do that? Are we all trying to acquire money in some way, shape, or form? And who is to say that one person, some Bill Gates type guy, is better at it so they should be penalized? Like, it seems like you're trying to rig the game because someone is just way fucking better at it.

The Hines account has always had good merit here. Yeah. Yeah, that kind of stuff. I inherent its monies. That's a tricky one. I think it's bad for the people to get it.

Yeah. Yeah, well, that's one of the reasons why poor people vote for Republicans. Yeah. They really think, wow, you need business. New businesses. But I mean, who is more anti poor people than Republicans? But how many poor people, why not being conservative?

But it can happen. See, to say that, it's kind of silly because there's been a million stories about like someone who writes a book in their 50s and they become rich. I mean, all that stuff has happened. It's just a matter of you, but you have to do it. Whatever it is, you have to do it. If you're actually just taking all your time and you're staying at Alpabes and then you're drinking and then you're watching TV and then you fall in sleep. That just keeps that pattern.

Well, I don't think they think they are. They think the people are lazy. I work all night. He's got them lazy people. They want that welfare money. They're going to take that welfare, just spend it on cigarettes. Yeah.

Yeah, but they thought they could afford it. Right. Just stupid. Like the problem with those goddamn mortgages, man. Yeah, that was the craziest Ponzi scheme ever that you would have someone with an adjustable rate mortgage and also the rate gets jacked up through the roof and you're paying three times as much like what have I signed up for?

Well, one of the things we were talking about earlier about debt and about people with credit card debt that they don't realize it. And if you had money, I cashed money and you wouldn't, you wouldn't be so likely to go into debt with cash. Yeah. Well, I think that's the same thing with the environment. I think the environment is almost like credit because we're like throwing garbage out the window and no one's thinking about it. We're just burning fossil fuels and fucking spraying hairspray into this guy. No one's thinking about what that's doing because we don't feel it instantly and immediately. We don't have like a vault we open up shit. I'm out of air. Yeah, you know, I'm running low. We're alone. I'm low on what you don't fish left. Yeah, we don't feel it. So we continue to act in the exact same way because we're not really getting the feedback. You know, you watching any convenient truth. Well, that's kind of fucked up. Oh, gotta get a work in the morning. Click shut it off. Go to bed. Yeah. E. B. Oh wake up keep going and that's a pattern that just kept keeps getting repeated and repeated and we're not feeling the feedback of the negative actions.

Well, Sam Hersch was talking about this yesterday that Trump is a global warming denier. Yeah. A global warming denier is really close to being the president of the United States.

He can't believe him. One of what the thought process behind that is just plow straight ahead and just do whatever's good for you and don't give a fuck. Or is there like, it's not a sign. It's not a sign. It still figure it out. Yeah, for sure, right? That's really what it is. That's really a good question.

Yeah. Yeah. I guess that's probably like the type of person that you don't want an office. Yes. Yeah. It's the exact same person you don't want an office. But you also don't want the type of person in office. It's constantly worried about people being sad because then you'll never get anything done. Just 300 million people and at least 30 million of them are sad. It's fuck, right?

Oh, statistics don't fuck with you. It's actual humans. It's the interaction with humans.

Oh, me too. So I actually go to the fucking, I can't go. I'll take them all.

I didn't know they were actually straight. I didn't know people don't just let their dogs out and the dogs come back. I used to have a dog like that.

When people have strollers, they don't give a fuck about their dog. Yeah. I'm concerned with this little baby. This dog can go fuck itself.

It's hard for some people, just like it's hard to not hold the baby over the grill enclosure. Yeah. It's very difficult. Yeah. It's very difficult. It compels you. It's real. The struggle is real.

When I'm at favorite dogs ever, I got a call from these people that I knew. They were dog watchers and they found a dog in their neighborhood. They knew that I had dogs and the new I love dogs and this dog had mage. She had mage all over her body. She was really sick and they were like we don't even know if if she's gonna be able to make it. She's so fucked, like open scabs because of it. She was so beat up, it was so sad. And so they had washed her up and they had fed her and she was a really sweet dog and I'm like, look, I'll take a chance. Let's see what happens. Yeah. Within a week her man should grown back. It was crazy. It's just new food. She's need to be cleaned and needed food within a week. Almost all of her hair was like, it wasn't fully grown. It was all growing back. She's trying to be the greatest dog of all time. I can't go around those dogs, or I'll have a fucking house full of dogs. I'll have a hundred dogs.

Yeah, there's nothing. Anything you want every single kind of dog is out there.

He's smart. He knows that useless. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, shelters are tough. It's tough. It's tough to go there. It's tough to see that it's just the people are so irresponsible. They're so irresponsible with pets. They get them. We can't add this dog. Dark shit in the house. Like, you've got to teach them to not shit in the house. Next we really just give them up and leave them in a cage and out of sight out of mind, go home with their life. What disturbed me is when I found out how many animals pita kills every year.

Is it a resource issue? Is Peter just not have the money to take care of them?

Well, the head of Peter when you get to the top crazy person. It's well, it's getting murdered for saying this. No, you shouldn't be if they do their rude animal liberation organization. And the real the at the very head of a lot of these really radical animal rights movements and by the way, I love animals. So yeah, I get it. I get the wanting pets. to be taken care of, but they don't want pets to be taken care of. They don't want pets. If they think animal should be free, all animals should be free, all livestock, all pets, none of that should be real. All animals should just exist in some sort of a wild state.

I've had them. They just are. You know, they've thousands of years of breeding to fight each other. And if you're irresponsible dog owner, pit bulls can be fucking dangerous.

Yeah, but staff for Charles Terrors, that's ignorance. They're not the same breed. See, there's a genetic court on the law. They are. Yeah, but that's not, it's not right to the laws incorrect. There's just some stuff written down on paper. When you deal with the actual genetic lines of the dog, I've had dogs that were, they were, their line was from fighting dogs. And they were impossible. You couldn't take them to the dog park, couldn't take them. It didn't matter how much I trained them, they much had, how much I was with them all the time. When dogs had bow up around them, he would get aggressive and he would want to fight.

But that's the exception to the rule. Pit bulls are kind of the rule. The problem with pit bulls is if you get it's a very dangerous dog. They're super powerful. They're really aggressive and they don't they don't respond to pain the way a lot of other dogs do because it's been bred out of them like if you follow the way they breed dogs for fighting when dogs fight if they back away if they cower they were killed that was the whole Michael Vick thing because it killed all these dogs that quit in fights so when you have all of that reinforcement genetically and you're dealing with a breed that's been raised like this for hundreds and hundreds of generations You're dealing with an incredibly aggressive dog with a really high kill drive. And when these dogs with high prey drives are given to irresponsible people, that's when you're getting all babies getting killed, little kids getting killed, dogs getting killed. I mean, it is breed specific.

No, you couldn't. I mean, that was the same. Because they weren't bred for fighting and killing. If you bred a bunch of people just for fighting and killing, yeah, you can make that distinction. But pit bulls were bred for fighting. I mean, that's what they were bred for. That's why they looked that way. I mean, this is up, up thing that's been done. That's recent, though, that used to be. I mean, hundreds of generations, it's not that recent.

Yeah, so it was, you know, one.

But the, it was almost America's mascot, by the way, before the eagle.

Well, is an American bulldog mixed with a terrier? Yeah. Terriers are more aggressive. And then they made the new breed. Yeah. And then, but if you get a bloodline from one that is a fighting dog. And this is not someone I'd love pit bulls. I have friends that have pit bulls. I love them. They're the sweetest, most friendly dog. But if handle correctly. They still have a problem being aggressive with other dogs. They a lot of them do. Yeah. And they're really powerful dogs. And then the hands of the wrong people. We're not talking about labs. Okay. When you have a lab, labs are like universally loving and nice. You can get the exception to the rule. You get a bad lab. But overall, lab or door retrievers are really friendly, easy-going dogs. So when someone has a lab, you go, oh, he's got a lab. When someone has a pit bull, there's a fucking reason why people go, oh, great. He's got a pit bull. Yeah, because a lot of them are fucking crazy a lot.

Well, you have to have a yard that can contain that dog for sure. You have to be on top of it when it comes to training it. You have to really be aware you have to read books on it. You should probably seek help with a professional, the behavioral specialist with dogs, but even then if some dog threatens your dog or grouse around your dog, it's likely that your dog's gonna clamp a hole of its neck and that dog's gonna get fucked up.

Right. Yeah. Well, I guess, I mean, how many people really walk around with their dog without a leash? Is that really a problem?

Yeah, that's irresponsible. What's there on a trail or something like that?

Yeah. People who whose lives are a mess always love correcting people. Yeah.

It's like thanks for incorrecting me. Yeah, you need to socialize your dog. Well, first of all, it's a little dog that you can pick up and big dogs are running around. Yeah, you probably should pick them up. Yeah, dogs like to bite little dogs. They do it all the time. Yeah, it still looks like a dog. Yeah, especially if there's a wrong kind of dog, you know, like huskies, huskies are a key does and like really aggressive dogs.

Do you believe in leash and your dogs on trails and stuff too? Like when you're in parks?

Because one dog feels trapped and fine. Right. So it's about expectation.

You know, they're not. Well, there's so much variety in the way dogs behave and the way dogs treat other dogs and other people. Yeah. It's always like, what's this dog like? Here comes a dog. What are we dealing with? Yeah, exactly.

And when you capture them then when you put them in your car, what do you do? You just bring them right to a shelter.

Yeah, if you pick up a dog that has flees and the flees get in the carpet of your car.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The Peter killing thing. They always fox with me.

Yeah, why do they do that? Why do they lead it off the porch? Again, they want to eradicate it. They just don't want pets. They just don't want pets. Yeah. So they think it's better to kill the pet than allow the pet to be with the person they love to lead a life of slavery. So bizarre. to start kind of radical thinking, but that's just the case with everything, right? I mean, you have your reasonable people and then you have your people that take that to the utmost and take it to the furthest point of rational thinking to the point where you're like, you're killing all the dogs, you capture

I saw a guy do that do the day he hit the breakdown lane near a light light was about to turn green and he got into the side lane where people park and just gunned it through the intersection. Almost plowed into people and then seemed speeding up ahead because he was probably late for work was early in the morning. You know, there's so many people that every day, they barely make it to work on time. And it's like there's adrenaline rush. They're addicted to. They don't even realize it. They're supposed to leave at 7.10, but it'd be more at 7.15 and 7.20. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And they run out the door. And that's the race. That's where they're getting their char. They're not getting chased by Saber II tigers, but they are getting their adrenaline fix. That's the danger.

Right, but then there's an idea of the man telling you how fast you can go. Yeah. Fuck him, man.

Right. If you're like a race car driver, if you know how to really drive in your super responsible your choices of lane changing and things along those lines.

And if you text in your car, if you text while you're driving, when you're actually moving, I mean, how many times have I looked over and I saw this car acting weird and they're texting? You should just, you should lose your license for a week.

Oh, you have to pee? Go pee, no. We're gonna wrap this up soon anyway. We're gonna bug you soon. All right, I'll pee quick. Go pee. Steve Hofser, ladies and gentlemen, if you want to see that video, you can find it on his YouTube channel. Actually, if you just look up Steve Hofser destroys a heckler, you'll find it easy to find.

Wow. Maybe it's him. Maybe baits these people. We don't need to watch them. He's probably baiting these motherfuckers. Good dude though, but crazy travel on my own fucking leashes. Yeah, kid up in dogs and yelling at Peter people.

Well the people get mad that you don't know their dog is cool. Yeah. Like how do I know? Your dog could be a fucking maniac crazy bitch. I don't even know her. I'm talking to her.

Well, that's also the problem with running with headphones on. But running with headphones on is so much more inspirational than running without headphones on.

It's talking about running with headphones on a dog came up to him barking at him and you know that it is disturbing. Yeah, it happens. Yeah, it can. If you're in the wrong place the wrong time and you know obviously people do get bit you know fucking German shepherds man those little fuckers My dog got bitten by a German. I'm a daughter rather got bitten by German Shepherd recently. These people have this dog and I'm like, this is not a regular dog. You can't just have this fucking dog in your yard. He teaches dog and they're like, oh, well, she's a little rampant chance. And I go, no, this is a working dog. This is a working dog. understand like this is a really smart dog. It's going to figure out a way out of your yard and when the kids are fucked with it, it's going to bite them. It's just what's going to happen unless you teach it. Like you have to take this thing now when it's eight months old and you've got to really train it because it's already fucking 70 pounds. It's already a big ass dog. Like you're going to you have a responsibility when you have a dog like this. This is not This is not like a bulldog that'll just sit there and is happy to just drink water and chill out. This is a super active, really aggressive dog.

Yeah.

This is sort of the same thing along the same lines we're talking about with pit bulls. like these animals are bred for a very specific activity. In order to discourage that activity, boy, you're going to have to fucking throw a lot of tennis balls. You're going to have to get this dog a lot of exercise. You're going to have to give this dog a lot of activity, a lot of stuff that they can occupy their mind with.

That's, too. You just fucking nailed it. Steve Hofstra, we got to wrap this up. I got to get out of here.

Dude, this is a casual show. Yeah. But so, where could people see you? Where could they see you live? Where could they find your Twitter is Steve Hofstraitor? Yeah. H-O-F-F-S-T. No, one at one. No, one at one.

Oh, you're baseball fan. Yeah, huge baseball fan. Cool. Cool. Yeah.

Oh, nice. Like my favorite thing to do. Well, listen, man, you're funny, funny dude. I love the heckler video. It's awesome. I love that it's blown up for you and you're getting all this attention and all those cool shits happening for you.

I love it. I love it. Congratulations. Thank you. And more success to you sir. Thanks for having me on. All right. My pleasure. My pleasure. All right. Well, that's it for the week. You fucks. So we'll see you soon. We'll be back next week and much love to all. Thank you. Bye. This episode is brought to you by Dr. Squatch. I'm going to let you in on a secret. If you want to be more confident, you have to start taking care of yourself. And a great way to do that is use Dr. Squatch, especially with their new private hygiene products. They were designed to help you look and feel fresh all over. like the growing guardian trimmer. It's perfect for grooming above and below the waist and the ball barrier dry lotion helps manage sweat and chafing while beast wipes keep you clean front to back. It's the care your body deserves. Try them today, whether you're new to Dr. Squatch or you use it every day, get 15% off your order by going to Dr. Squatch.com slash JRE15 or use the code JRE15 at checkout.