Transcript for #841 - Greg Fitzsimmons

We're going to build today, ladies and gentlemen. We're going to start slow and we're going to build Gregory.

I fucking love the bit you're doing about the guy over there. I don't want to give the bit away.

with the cigarette dangling and have you seen the Italian Dan Bilzerian now there's an Italian version of Dan Bilzerian see got Dan Bilzerian who's this super wealthy poker player gambler character international playboy type dude worth fucking hundreds of millions of dollars and just every picture is him in a jet and him getting blown by 50 checks you know Yeah. Well, this is guy in Italy and all he does is take videos of him and his super hot fiance dancing. And apparently he's this huge celebrity in Italy and he's an older guy. Yeah. He's not that he's actually my age, but he just looks older. Oh, you got 50-year-old millionaire is cooler than Dan Bilzerian.

Go to his Instagram page. Oh, really? One of them became famous. No, that's not it. It's one with him and the girl. It became, yeah, that's his page. I'll tell you, scroll down, keep scrolling down. No, no, no, just scroll down a little. I'll tell you which one to click on. He's got a gang of them on his page, but one of them sort of caught fire on the internet and people started paying attention to it and then it became this big thing. A little bit more. It's all just pictures. No, there's some vids. That's it. The left hand side. That's one of them. Yeah, that's just one of them. This is not even the best one. I mean, it's like him and his girl like dancing. And she's hot as fuck. And even though he's my age, this dude is like well-leathered from the sun. Yeah, he's constantly out in the sun.

A dude basically in his underwear with a girl in her underwear, and they're all sweaty and dancing around.

Yeah. They're just superballing. They're superballing publicly.

I don't know. I turn on TV yesterday at noon. And this is the first I'd heard of it. There's a standoff at his house. And I was like, what? What the hell is this? So apparently they had been there since three o'clock in the morning. So they'd already been there for nine hours. Wow! And they didn't have a warrant, but they were surrounding his house and there was helicopter footage of it. So they showed it on the news. Helicopters, circling Chris Brown's house, cops all down the driveway. He lives on a cul-de-sac, so there's all these cops all lined up down the street, cops everywhere, like a ton of cops. Like they were spawning, like this is an armed dangerous guy, like they would any other armed dangerous guy. It's just him. It's just him. And apparently some girl, he might have had some friends at home with him. I don't know. But a pretty sure it was just him. And he said, there were some party or something like that. And the girl said he pulled a gun on him. and pulled the gun on her.

Yeah. sketchy all around, right? I mean, it's like, what do you say about something like that? Like, what the fuck really happened?

It's also stupid. So he makes a ton of videos and puts him on Instagram. Chris Brown. Yeah, of him, you know, given his side of what things are. And he's keeping it real essentially. Yeah. And his videos. And it's, and he's long and cigarette. It's, it's very sketch.

They arrested the fuck out of them. Yeah. Uh, I don't know if they cap them. But I mean, they went in and they booked them for assault with a deadly weapon or attempted assault with a deadly weapon as I would have does.

I'm sure they have video footage of everything. They wouldn't be crazy. They would be crazy not to. Yeah.

No, those were our Kelly. No.

I don't know who fucked their cousin, but our Kelly was peeing on peeing. Did he?

That's Bill Cosby.

And they're crazy. Like, what the fuck, man?

Our Kelly is our sees 49. And when did he play basketball? He didn't play basketball. He's a singer.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. We'll see if we can play part of it. We'll play part of it. We'll just keep playing part off YouTube. Yeah, dude. They have a computer that doesn't. Have you played someone song? you don't have permission if you show a video, you don't have permission, you know, people own the property. So if some guy has a video, like here was an issue with, there was a guy like wildlife videos, guy might have a video of a crocodile walking across a golf course. Did you see that? The giant cra- where alligator? Huge, huge, like 15 feet long, enormous. I put it up on my Facebook, because I just retweeted like a YouTube video that somebody posted out there. And I put a link up to it, like check this shit out. That's all you did. I didn't upload it to Facebook. And Facebook took my account down for like three days. No shit. Yeah, they wouldn't let me post a video for three days. So what's the last of this? Somebody own the reading tweet anything? It's not I don't I don't think it was correctly done. I don't know. I think maybe I retweeted someone who had illegally put it up or something like that. I don't remember the full details of it because I retweet shit constantly when people send me something that's cool I'm like I would want to see this so I send it to everybody that's

I mean, maybe I put a link up to the video, but I definitely didn't upload the video. You know, somebody else's video. It was on, you know, whatever it was, whatever live leak, who knows what the fuck was on, but somebody decided they own that video. And it's got more than 20 million hits now. It's like when a video becomes that popular, I think they can make a fuckload of money from it. Yeah. It becomes like a television show. Right. You know? So if we play this, We'll get kicked off YouTube. But you got to hear it. So this part is not on YouTube, right? People can't hear it. This is Chris Brown. No, you got two things going on at the same hand, young Jamie.

Young Jamie. Young Jamie's captain tabs. He loves them tabs. For the people listening with this is he's sitting there. He's got a box of cigars. He's opening up. He's got sunglasses on. And he says, I'm just gonna be real. I'm just gonna be real.

They have to. And so he's pouring himself a nice drink. He's got a stogi going. And he's calling his girl down. I was at a club with who?

It's called real talk, real talk.

Because she saw me at the club with some other bitches.

God damn it, he's good. It's like, he's like, he's like, he's a brilliant comedian. I mean, just a brilliant, Andy Kaufman times a hundred. Yeah. And he's committed to this character. And he's like literally gonna peed on girls on video just for this character. You're right. Like that, that is, he's like delivering it in the most subtle of parodies.

Our Kelly has 40 more chapters of trapped in the closet planned.

No, no, it's way better than a book. It's like a musical, like a story gets told over a rap musical with the most preposterous lyrics of all time. Like he wrote them five minutes before he decided to film this old thing.

South Park did a whole thing with Tom Cruise. Where Tom Cruise is in the closet. It was like, oh yeah, I saw that. It was like a Scientology gay double whammy attack. Yeah. And they used trapped in closet. So already 33 chapters to it. Oh, Jesus.

Dude, people love him. Yeah. They loved that guy. He's like the bumping grind guys at him. No. Is that him?

Oh, that's it. That did it. That touched a lot of people's hearts, Jamie.

Yeah. He's got a great voice. But God damn that video's awesome. Yeah. That's just awesome.

Um, I think they just come with the contract or something.

Yeah, they just they're just there. Yeah. Like they just it's like a natural ecosystem, you know, if you look at a reef, what does it have? It has crabs, it's plankton.

Yeah, I mean, do you have expensive cars? Yes, early mansions. Yes. Is this jewelry involved? Yes. Okay. Well, the bitches will be there. They'll find their way. They heard about it.

They smell it. It's in the air. There's a certain kind of hoochemama that just smells that stuff. Yeah. She just shows up. Yep. I mean, if studying nature is like an outsider. Yeah. I was like, looking at humans.

Well, treating, there's a lot of stuff you could treat like that. If you just studied it like as a scientist, right? I wouldn't you want to get involved like rodeo culture? Like tell me you wouldn't want to be around the people that are like ultra rodeo people that love rodeo and you'd hang out with them and like be with them like every day for like a couple months like Louis Theros style. Bye.

Yeah, like Louis through when he does these documentaries, he goes to a place like you went to Africa for like three months and hung out in a hunting camp, you know, and hung out with these people until he annoyed them to the point where they got mad at him, gave him some good footage.

He was looking to understand it, but after a while, the best footage came out of this guy just getting like really pissed out of him. Yeah. But I think that if you embed it yourself, and like, okay, how about a coal mining town, embed yourself in a coal mining town?

He's not getting a job, get a job at the market. Yeah. The work and live in the mine for a couple of months. Right. And then do something on that. See, there's some weird pockets of humanity in this fucking country. Yeah. Just in this country, like forget about the world.

You almost have to play golf if you're like a big time business man.

That's a giant chunk of time. Yeah, a guinald bomb a place golf. Does he play golf for that long?

Well, that was one of the only big benefits of golf is that you had to walk the course. And the course is a lot of exercise and you got your exercise in. And people are like, eh, not really into that.

I just want a cart that's hooked up with a stereo and a cool.

Oh, how drunk are you allowed to get on a golf course?

Wow. Yeah, I always picture golfers. I always picture them like Ted Kennedy. Like that kind of face. Yeah. That's right. Big fucking overwhelmed tissue face. Like so much inflammation. Your skin is just running from their skull.

It's a dignified older gentleman.

Well, there's a bunch of those older guys that get that from the booze and the heavy. Yeah, that new Gingrich guys got that shit going on too. He's got that. I have a couple of whiskeys and I look.

Wow, you're still doing that. Yeah, you know where it's going on right now. the PCH. You ever go down the PCH? There's the one near Malibu? No, the PCH. Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu. Yeah. It's a very dangerous road. Yeah. And it's bar after bar after bar after bar and then all these rich people, right? All these people that can afford p-chouses. And then These people are going on these bars and restaurants, and they're just driving. They're driving home. Okay, everyone's driving drunk. There's just a ton of drunk driving. The guy who did pulp fiction with Quentin Tarantino, the other guy who was involved with it, what is his name? Roger Avery. Is that it? He also wrote killing Zoe, which is indirected, and I think, which is a fucking awesome movie. He's supposedly like a super genius guy, right? Roger Avery. Yeah, he apparently was involved in a horrible drunk driving accident.

That was at a restaurant once I saw this guy drive off drunk. Him and his buddies were having like a water fight. He was hammered and he got into his car. They were throwing water into each other, hammered and got into his car.

I guess, but if you're a kid and you're working there from college and you see this fucking guy, like what are you going to do? Like it's probably some rich dude. You know, if you if you get mad at them for this, you know, who knows how the restaurant's gonna perceive it if they're gonna fire you, they don't want the valleys to step in and some guy throwing water. Most likely it's easier to like, I'll be fine. Just let them get in that car. Yeah. The guys like, that's what I would do. If I was 20 years old, then I was working there like these kids are. All right. I wouldn't like tell this 50 year old dude with a $10,000 watch on that he can't throw water. He can't get in this car. I'd be scared. Yeah. I'd be like the guy like represents authority, you know. She just let him go. I just probably would let him go. But I couldn't believe they were let him go. You know, there's a bunch of people around and people are getting upset because him and the guy with her own water, each other and they were almost getting people. Yeah. So people start getting upset. So there was like this air of tension in the air and then the valley came and the guy got in this car and we were like, wow, should we stop that? You know, she's stopped that guy from getting in a car. It's like a judgment call. He might have just been an idiot.

No, I've advice people to not drink or not drive rather. I definitely done that. But I have not taken anyone's keys. I haven't had to. Yeah. But I've seen some shit, man. Especially when I was young. God damn I saw some people drive fucked up. Yeah.

I haven't had it fully explained to me, because I've read it both ways. I've read that there was some sort of a genetic propensity towards alcoholism that they had because the fact that alcohol was not normal to them. It wasn't something they had in their diet all the time, so they didn't have the enzymes or whatever it was to break it down.

The way they... I've read that's bullshit.

Yeah. That's bullshit.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know who's right. It's hard, man. It's undeniable that certain cultures like hours like the Irish, the Italian.

It's not something my need. I enjoy it while it's happening, but I understand the pole. The biological pole that some people have, I just don't have it.

I try not to get real drunk, and the drunkens have been in recent memories, but on this podcast. Really? Yeah, a couple of times. Yeah. Well, no, it's crazier for sure in the past, but I did one recently with Hannibal Hannibal Burst. Yeah. We got fucking lit. We got lit to the poor. My tongue started getting heavy. It was hard to move around. I had like, I had a slug off while I was trying to add her pants to her wardrobe. It was like I was doing. You ever use one of those heavy jump ropes like those jump ropes? This is ridiculous. Like jumping rope is hard enough. Why don't you have this fucking ship rope? You know, like, but they make these like really heavy ones. That's what my tongue felt like. Yeah.

Yes, he did. Yes, he did. Yeah, he took one here and took one home. He's hilarious.

And we went on to another podcast right afterwards, because my friend Josh Zeps came in to do his podcast from here with Sam Harris. You know, Sam Harris famed atheist slash neuroscientists and cannibal and Sam Harris had like this epic argument. Oh, yeah. Hannibal was hammered.

So I was trying to like, I was trying to chime in and, and, so, the whole thing was so, it was so not good. It wasn't like, my even my attempts were so clumsy. My attempts to calm the situation down, so embarrassing. Oh, that's great.

Yeah, it hasn't come out yet. Okay. I don't know what is going to do if he's even going to release it.

Well, the problem is Hannibal didn't know he was going to be drunk on a podcast, talking to a neuroscientist about race issues. Yeah. You know, a race issues about cops shooting black people and statistics. Yeah. See the statistics of I don't know if this is accurate. I'm just knowing what I've read and I don't know what this means, but I'm just gonna say it. This statistics are like people would think the cops are more violent and they shoot more black people than white people like per capita or percentage or whatever it is. Apparently it's not true. So they showed this study recently that shows that if you look at the overall state, let's find out what those numbers are. So we could talk about it and know exactly what we're saying. Because this was the argument.

It's essentially damning towards like what I've always said. I think most people, almost 99% of the people are unqualified to be a cop. I think it's an unbelievably difficult job. I think cops shoot people all the time and they shouldn't shoot people. And they're dealing with 300 million plus people in this one continent and we're looking at the stories of all these cops in all of these cities and all of these counties and all these states all over the country you're dealing with a fucking mammoth amount of people yeah, it's just because of the history racism It's more disturbing to us to think that there's white cops through targeting black kids, which they most certainly must be. There most certainly must be some of them. You think of the high, the amount of people we're talking about. Yeah, the most likely is a racist or two amongst them, or who knows how many?

Yeah, but I feel like we're all on this heightened sense of conflict because we're looking at the conflicts between millions of fucking people and we're an individual and we're taking in these numbers, these interactions, millions, literally millions of people interacting with police officers every day. It's way too much for our fucking brains. So we start thinking, Jesus, the cops are killing black people everywhere. Well, turns out, they're just shooting people everywhere. It's black people and white people. It's just there's been some really damning videos of them doing it to black people. And again, there's probably a lot of cops that are racist.

Yeah, really. Yeah. Okay, let's look at the actual numbers. We're the actual numbers. Okay. Well, the post began its police shootings project in response to the 2014 killing of Michael Brown and Ferguson, Missouri, a death that triggered days of rioting, the assassination of two New York City police officers in a surge of support for the Black Lives Matter protest movement. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, as of January 15th, the post-adocumented 987 victims of fatal police shootings in 2015 about twice the number historically recorded by federal agencies. whites were 50% of those victims, and blacks were 26%. By comparison, whites are 62% of the US population and blacks are 13%. The ensuing debate is largely centered on whether the disproportionate number of black deaths was a result of police racism or the relatively high rate of crime in black neighborhoods, which brings black men into more frequent and more fraught encounters with the police. So it seems to me just looking at those numbers right there that it says whites were 50% of those victims and blacks were 26%. Well, that's just right away. There's way more white people than there are black people.

So this is in fact kind of like disproving what you're saying. Right.

Yeah, well, that's the argument that he should have made. This is not the argument he made. That's interesting because I didn't know that that was what the statistics were and I wish I knew that going into that conversation. Obviously had no idea we were going to have this conversation or I would have. Huh, that's interesting because that, you know, I mean, you can blame it on the neighborhood, you can bring it on crime-ridden communities, but if we're just going to go statistics to statistic, well, then they're right, more black people are getting shot by cops. But people are getting shot by cops, like it's a lot. There's a lot of fucking stuff.

Dude, I don't know. It's just terrifying.

Yeah, well, that could definitely be the case. I mean, there's there's also when you look at guns and this is one thing that I don't think we really consider that much. There's a gun industry, okay? Then they're manufacturing guns constantly and they're manufacturing them for civilians and they can use them legally and they can own them legally and it's the right and people exercise that second amendment right and they have a lot of guns and this business keeps making guns and there's just a lot of guns. A lot of guns was like at one point in time we're gonna have fucking guns all over the place. I mean the world's gonna be safer because no one's gonna be shooting people because everyone's gonna have a gun.

I think there's more. I think there's more. Yeah. Find that out because I think it was one of those things when they were like the numbers switched over. Yeah, they broke under a shield.

You think about having one?

Did you ever see that movie the road? No. I didn't see it. And this is why I didn't see it because I started watching it. And early on, spoiler alert. Early on the movie he was talking to his kid about how to kill yourself. It was showing his kid how to put the gun in your mouth. If someone's coming to get you. Really? Yeah.

Handsome fella. David to come out of the rings. No. No. They do an X files again, aren't they? That's real, right? Are they?

Yeah, I wish I would go over these notes. There's probably some gold in there. Oh, you have it. I write shit all the time. I write shit all the time. I can the middle of the box.

I need to remember and it never comes up. It doesn't even get in there. I can barely read my own handwriting. Yeah. That's pretty bad. It's becoming so that handwriting seems so stupid.

Yeah. Texting is so much better.

Yeah, but it's goofy. Yeah. Too many people are goofy with it. They'll give you one of these, you know, like, what the fuck is that word? How the hell do I know what that word is? Yeah. You barely made any movement. You lazy fuck.

That's why cursive ended because people were fucking lazy. Yeah. Because lazy people would write you shit and it was just this dribble of ups and downs. It was at an end, isn't it? It's like a child's signature.

It's needs to go away. I need to know what is an A. We'll make it look like an A. You can't be left to your interpretation of what an A should be.

Right. What about like, does anybody ever put the eye under the lowercase J? Did they do that anymore? Is it alright? Make that up. You're supposed to put an eye like a dot over lowercase J? Yeah, of course. Does anybody do that? I do. So if you're writing something by hand, you'd put a dot over the lowercase J. Absolutely.

Yes, like I had to ask I was questioning it. Okay, I knew it. I'm pretty sure that's how but I'm like, who does that?

Well, you're actually serious. Might not even know. You're an Emmy award winning writer.

Right. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You got to know how to put that dot there. It's so weird when you look at Russian. If you look at any, like, I follow a lot of Russian athletes, I follow their Instagram pages and I look at the Russian Mars. And I might as well be from Mars. What's up with all these fake letters you guys got? Yeah. Like this jumble of how did this happen? How are we so shitty at communicating that we let all these different styles of language exist? To the point where none of us can, it's like the tower of Babel. What? Wendy you think we will have one language it's a good question man look at all the weird shit they have like that boomerang above the backwards and like what the fuck is going on up there and how about the other one that looks like like red dragons like the Jason Ellis logo that's that's up there

These bastards from the past.

That's a very excited puffy one.

Hey, no, no, no, it's a 19 year old girl.

I mean, it's a girl who's 19 and grew up in Europe. So it's they have a different attitude.

Yeah, I see that. I mean, how much more could have been done a long time ago if we all spoke one language. That tower of Babble shit, although obviously it's great. What's the tower of Babble?

I was Catholic for a year. The tower of Babel is the whole thing about it was that there's all these different languages and that there was some... Let's go to the actual official definition because I'm going to fuck it up. But that one of the ways to keep us from understanding each other was to give us so many different languages we couldn't communicate with each other. What is this, huh? What's the myth? find out where the myth is. You're a young dream. According to the story, a united humanity. There it is. United humanity for of the generations following the great flood, speaking in a single language and migrating from the east came to the land. Is it going for? No. Okay. Came to the land of Shinar. Shinar. Shinar. They're they agreed to build a city and a tower tall enough to reach heaven, seeing this god confounded their speech so that they could no longer understand each other and scattered them around the world. So that's the idea of wow. I mean, it's basically an acknowledgement of how much could be accomplished if we could all speak the same language. Wow. But we're all like, so like, this is my culture man. Like, this is my culture, this is who I am. You know, I'm not abandoning this. Like, we all have this like sense of, I mean, it's kind of clenish.

with the fuck is a lot of different names yeah flammish yep Gregory's correct the Dutch language spoken in flanders one of the two official languages of Belgium hmm ha the people of flanders and you know they have to speak together languages because they got England next to them they got France next to them they got but hold on ceremony That was confusing. It says it's spoken in flanders. One of the two official languages of Belgium, but that's Belgium is not Holland. So what the fuck? We screwed it up. I think we screwed it up.

Okay, here's another one. Flemish also called Flemish Dutch Belgium Duss and or Southern Dutch refers to the varieties of the Dutch language spoken in Flanders. The Northern part of Belgium, the turn Flemish is used at least five ways. It seems like it's all in Belgium, man.

I think they speak Dutch. The people in Holland that the price so mad at us now. And they're fucking idiots. We have to watch your stupid elections and you don't even know what language we speak. The whole world knows a Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are cloning each other's eyes out to become the president.

That's what they speak. They speak Dutch and what does that one? Friscian, Friscian, Papia Meadow, Papiamento.

Such. It's so weird. It's so weird. When you look at the pockets of white people, like when a apartheid was kicking, like you look at how bizarre that must have been, like these white racist people living in South Africa surrounded by black people. Yeah. And they came over on boats essentially. They're like the last of one of those Colony, you know, expansion experiments. Yeah. They went to Africa.

Turn the screws. Imagine if there was an Africa to Africa. You know, we look at Africa, right? And we go, wow. Like that's where civilization began. Look, there's fucking lions and people. The mass-eye warriors and run around with spears have the killer lying to be a man. They're all dancing around the fire and tens of knee and you're like, wow, this is a window to a totally different world. I can't have forgotten itself. One if there was a place even fucking crazier than that. If you pass Africa, the Africa's went to the dark lands. And there's just monsters tear each other apart, left and right. Nothing survives more than a few minutes. Everything's just fucking and killing.

And bandits dressed like like human dumpsters with machine guns running around blowing each other up. Everything's bulletproof and on fire and then Africa is like a congo over there. It's too fucking crazy.

Better than the rock we're using. Yeah. There's this one episode that I watched called Jim Shocky's Uncharted. He's this guy who goes to all these different parts of the world and he's a professional hunter and he goes to these places and sometimes they eradicate like dangerous animals that are threatening villages. And one of the episodes he went to this village, I don't remember what part of the Congo it was, but they have these giant saltwater crocodiles that eat people. And while they were there, a woman got eight. No shit. While they were there filming, should they took her away. They took her out into the water, man.

And then the police, we were wrong about the statistics of police violence, too. Yeah, the alligator crocodile thing is it, especially crocodile. Crocodiles are way more, way more, way more aggressive. Yeah, it's bigger. Some of them are, the American crocodiles are actually small than the American alligators. American crocodiles are super aggressive though. Yeah. They're dog eaters. Is that Florida? Yeah. Yeah, there's a small population that's protected because we don't have enough monsters and we like them to keep fucking. Some Hey man, you don't understand the ecosystem. I'm kidding. I'm kidding folks. Relax. I'm not, I'm not anti crocodile, but it is, it's kind of weird. It's weird. It's kind of weird that we want to keep those monsters around.

I don't think there's, I think, I don't think you're far off though. Yeah. I think we found out once, but I don't remember what the number was. It was less than 25 people die a year from sharks, right?

Buffalo. Yeah. To Cape Buffalo. There's huge Cape Buffalo. I find the shark thing. They call them the black death. Yeah. Dude, they're terrifying. They run and hurts. Well, look at what that looks like. Scroll up a little bit there, Jeremy. Yeah. Look at that fucking thing. And they're super aggressive. Yeah. Because they're fighting off lions all the time, man. Yeah. There's like credible documentary called relentless enemies. And it's about this one particular pride of lions that lives on an island in Africa where the rivers changed its course. And it's stranded these islands from the rest of Africa. These lions can't get out of this island and all they have to eat on this island are these giant fucking buffaloes. So the lions themselves have grown huge and they've become super sized lions or females. Like an adult female of one of these tribes. There's one particular tribe where they're enormous. They look like the Hulk. They don't even look like real lions. where the adult females are as large as a regular adult male in other prides. Yeah. And so see if you find that relentless enemies, line photos, it's a fucking incredible documentary, because he just chose you like, he chose going to find a way. Like, oh, all we can eat is buffalo. Looks like we're going to have to get a little bigger boys. Yeah. And they just got bigger. Like the cats, the bigger cats stayed alive, the bigger cats figured out how to do it. And when they go after them, look at the size of that thing. That's a female. And they're taking out these giant buffaloes.

Yeah, sharp ass horns. See if you get some photos of the individual lions, like so you get well, there's a good good photo of it, but just look up relentless enemies. Oh, and then this was, okay. Yeah, just uh, lions. Well, it's, there's some photos of them where they're in motion, where you got to kind of get a sense of the real mass that they have.

Hmm. Wow. I, I would believe that. Buffaloes are enormous animals. And you're talking about something that's like 2,000 plus pounds often. I wonder how what like the biggest of the males grows to?

Really upset, scared. Tom Poppo's just here. He just got back. Oh yeah, I just don't want to give my kids malaria medication.

All right. It's too young. It's just too fucked up to require that and you got to take it all your over there and just take it every day, right? Yeah. And then you got to get a typhoid shot and there's a lot of the winter.

So you didn't do anything? Nope. Wow. So you have malaria?

That's sick stuff, man.

Well, there's areas in Miami now where they're thinking about like, coordinating off blocks and shit, right?

Yeah, because they live so many cases of Zika.

Just one day there's going to be some insurmountable biological threat to people. You know, one day, there's going to be some dark wave that sweeps across the population and there's going to be a rebuilding process. Right. That's just happened so many times with so many different things, too. Like it doesn't necessarily happen. And this is not something to freak out about, but just to put it in perspective, there's been so many fucking times where something's happened, whether it's some gigantic event, like a super volcano, or diseases, or just giant chunks of population just died.

I guess it just, that's just the system that nature runs on. It just finds a way to exploit any weakness. If the numbers get too high, there's more weaknesses. It just finds a way, develops a strong attack and it gets in there. It's like this little fucking ping pong math game that's going on constantly. Yeah. Adjustments and then there's medicine, a bunch of scientists are fucking shaking test tubes trying to find.

We got it. We got it. Yeah, we got it like like they got Codofi.

We got a coffee too. We got the coffee. The coffee video is maybe the most disturbing video ever. Oh, no shit. You never seen it? No. Oh, dude.

You're in for a treat. Oh, cell phone video got released immediately. This is what happened. They the rebels overcame and the United States back rebels, right? I don't know the full history of how it went down. Do you know the full history?

Yes. So they have Kadafi. This is him dead, but there's a video of him where they have him and they're yelling, a lot of walk-bought, a lot of walk-bought, and they've got him. Is that him? Yep. And the rebels all have him and they're beating the fuck out of him. And they start sticking things up as ass, like swords. They stick swords up as ass. Yeah. And they're stabbing them there. See how they're stabbing them. Yeah. I mean, they just showed a murder on TV right there. Yeah. I mean, back that up with that guy. That guy's a bad guy. He was a bad guy. It seems like that guy's stabbing him while he's there.

That's the video. So this doesn't really look where the guy's stabbing him in that picture. Now that I looked at it again, it looks like he's like slamming his fist down on him. Wow. It's really grainy cell phone footage.

This is the one where they finally capture them and they're holding up their cameras. And this is all like captured live. I mean, they have him when they have him. And he's freaking the fuck out. They're pulling his hair and beating the shit out of him and kicking him. And then when he gets up, someone sticks a sword. Like one of those waist swords, little short swords, like right up his ass. I guess it's a knife, big knife. Is that what it was? I don't remember. I remember thinking is that a stick or is that a knife and then someone said it's a knife?

Like look at this guy and this guy was a huge dictator that ran his country for a long time and killed a lot of people. And that this is how it ends for him is actually kind of fitting, right?

It's fitting, right? But isn't it fucked up? It's fucked up that we liked that this appeals to us. Like the look if they captured him the way they captured Noriega or the way they captured anybody else. And they brought him to trial in America and put him in prison. Which feeling he better? Like then him being the death. Do you feel better watching this? Like where they just walking him up?

I think there's a real problem with cases. you know whether it's a murder case or whether it's any any kind of a case even like armed robbery a lot of there's There's a real problem when people are competing against each other. It's what I'm trying to get to. When you have a defense team that's competing against prosecution team and they're trying to win. You see it all the time in business or things are inflated and there's crazy arguments get made. What are they trying to do? They're trying to build up their side. They're not trying to be as objective as objective as possible. They're not trying to go into it and say, Well, you know, as cops, we probably could have done a little bit better. Yeah. We probably could have been friendly as we walked up to them and maybe they wouldn't have gotten defensive and maybe we could have shaken hands and gone about our day and our lives and our past would have gone a different way. But hey, hindsight is 2020. Learning experience. Exactly. Learning experience. You what? You don't, you don't ever hear that. Yeah. It's always like one hard line. I approached a suspect. He was moving in a very dangerous manner. I saw the suspect reaching his pants. I told him not to. He did it again. At this point, I took the safety off my weapon. You know, he just charged 32 times. And he watched the video. And that's not what happened at all. Like some of his cell phone on it.

So we put down. We put down today. That's what they call that we put down. We put down one of the back. We put down today everybody knuckles up knuckles all around. We put down today boy. We got a good one. Good win for the good guys. Clink, clink, budwisers get slashed. Yeah. Show for work. Foggy, I do it again.

Well, I mean, they are dealing with a lot of scumbags and pieces of shit in a lot of ways.

Yeah, cops don't plant evidence and try to frame people because they're infallible and awesome and that's just the right thing to do. They're doing what a dirty accountant does. You know, they're doing what a joke thief does. They're doing what a guy who steals in a lot of ways. Now I love that you threw that in on a mean to do it. Like when a guy steals a song one of the rhythms beats when they sue people for that shit.

I don't know how I connected all those together. I really had a point until you started laughing.

I'll just say people suck at something. You know, and they suck at, you know, the gigantic responsibility that comes being a police officer. Yeah. There's not, they're not right qualified for that.

Yeah, it could be done, right? It can be done. This just got to be a way if you look at the overall picture. It's got to be a way to do it better than they're doing it right now across the board. Everything with like managing communities. Like it's just it's just seems like there's so much room from improvement.

All right, that's the message he sent in. We released one guy that I had retweeted a petition to release him like a year ago. Yeah. Yeah, he was in jail for life for selling LSD.

Yeah, and Obama exonerated him. He's never should've gone to jail in the first place.

Yes, and also when you do as much as that guy does, you think your members will first two strikes.

Yeah, that three strikes thing is crazy. It's so crazy. I'm not for You know, encouraging people to continue fucking up. But to think that the only way, like if someone does three petty crimes, I mean, how many, how bad is a crime after being? Is it have to be a violent crime? Before not two or three, I'm not sure. That doesn't make sense with the grateful dead thing. Somehow, no, they think of selling drugs. They find some sneaky way to categorize that as violence.

Hmm. Yeah, right. I would wonder.

Listen, the thing about acid that you can get a whole lot of it in a very small like package. Like you can get a whole lot of hits and you can carry it on you. It's like books of stamps. Yeah. And that's a lot of people are getting fucked up with that. Yeah. So I think that's problematic to people. I think to get super nervous about that. McKenna had some species. He did about that once about how someone in a regular apartment with a bathtub can make enough acid to get a million people blasted. No shit.

This is another great analogy that someone said, I wish I remember who, but they said that acid, like in the molecule form, the molecular form, it's so potent. It is literally like watching an ant dissolve the Empire State Building. Like something is small as an ant, a build or dissolve, or take it. Like you're talking about, I should probably know if it's build or dissolve, right? They might be build. But the idea being that there's so much power in such a small molecule and such a small amount, you need the tiniest dose, like a blip blip, blip, blip, and you're... Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh, Buh. I talked to a dude who did 25 hits of acid in one setting. No shit. Did it fuck him up? I don't know. I don't know what he was like before then. Yeah. See, you know, okay.

It definitely seems like it has a potential to do that. And I think some people just go super deep, man.

What is this? Okay, here it is. Following, honestly, on a molecular level, the power of LSD is equivalent to a fire ant that can completely tear down the Empire State Building in under 30 minutes. Yeah, so that's what it was. I was really the first time.

How crazy is that? A fire ant that could take down the Empire State Building in 30 minutes.

It's a really good question. I don't know the answer to that. I know who figured it out. You know the story of Albert Hoffman, the guy who was creating, I think he was trying to come up with a women's fertility drug. I believe that was the original thing. I think so. If I remember correctly, I think that's where it came from.

Like, dude, he was the guinea pig. He got it on his hands on the lab. You know what the fuck he was touching? Yeah. And the guy knew his skin through his hands. Pretty sure that's a story. And he went riding home on his bike, tripping his balls off, thinking about the world in a whole new way, looking at life in a whole different way and going, wow. And that's where I asked it was born. And then he went back to it and he did a bunch of different experiences. Experiments with it.

Do you know who was involved in one of the Harvard asset studies?

Ted Kazinsky was a part of one of those asset studies. They blew that guy's brains out. And then he went to Berkeley and worked as a professor for a short period of time just to get enough money to implement his manifesto. Moving to that cabin in the woods and start killing people who are creating technology. Oh shit. Yeah, he went, he lost his fucking mind. Wow. He really did, I mean, he might've been crazy before then, who knows? But you know the story about the unibomber that his brother recognized the manifesto as his own brother's kind of fucking crazy writing?

Yeah. Wow. His brother recognized the patterns and he recognized that the person writing it had to be very smart and also very crazy.

He was right terrified. Yeah. This brother that was capable of killing people.

When your brother just moved to the woods in a shack, it starts writing things with no spaces. Curse it. Yeah, just book after book. I need to have the notebook. Oh, yeah. Jesus Christ.

Probably more good, but there's always going to be room like booze. We were talking about booze. Some people can enjoy a fun glass of wine and not have another drink for a month and everyone's fine. Some people, it's one shot and they're off to the races. One shot goes down the whole. The lids come down over the eye. Clank, clank. The drunk lids, you know what you're like? Where's Greg? Greg in there? I never seen you drunk, because when I met you, it was like right when you were quitting. Yeah.

Why don't you just tell me a story about your mom and gambling? She's a gambler. Tell me a crazy casino story.

Well, it's like for him. It's like I went on this money and then it's gone.

Yeah. Like right there and one movement. She's gonna sue him for sure.

Do you think she sued him?

Yeah, totally makes sense. But I run and over you like that. That's it's so awful, man. You're an older woman and some big fucking stupid dude runs you over.

Well, it's a little, it's a little drug dispensary. Yeah. You know, you're getting your highs and your lows. You're getting your anticipation. You're going to get your reward. You know, you're going to use your defeat. You're going to God. Dammit, you're going to be frustrated. You want to smoke. Oh, the ladies coming over the booze. Yeah, double. Give me that. Please.

And then you got this weird relationship with this dealer dude. Yeah, with this guy's either giving you money or taking money away from you and he's like, hey, he's just my job. Yeah, right, right. Just my job.

They pool them. All the people together, that doesn't make sense. That would seem like, is that make sense?

Yeah, it's bad for business. Yeah. It's, man, what can you do though?

After a while, people just don't want to work anymore, man. I think people work too much. I think they work too long.

Right after Jamie made sense. Jamie made sense for the tips. He's right. I don't stick to my ideas, folks. He call it flip flopping. I'm not married to these motherfuckers.

You know, I had a great fucking, I put talked about this yesterday, but Neil DeGrasse Tyson had this great Twitter quote that said, there should be an option in this presidential election for, and all presidential election, I think he said, for none of the above. And then if none of the above wins, we have to start all over again with new people.

That's actually a really good idea. Yeah. So really good idea. Yeah. Like none of the above requires a congressional re-examination of the election process. And the potential candidates in what makes them qualify. Yep. We do it live on television. There's long discussions, like for days and days and days, like on sea span. You know, remember those? Have you ever watched sea span? Watch people argue about shit? No. Have you ever watched it? It's interesting. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting to see how the courts work and everything's so formal. And I guess you have to have like these really clear rules when you're all talking. The gentleman has five minutes to address.

Wow. Those are bizarre rules, huh? Yeah. Do you know what's really kind of sad, but fascinating at the same time? You know who was really good at those speeches? Tom Arara Anthony Weiner.

No, no, not really. Yeah, which makes respect to me more of some reason. He's a fascinating character, because I almost think like to be that kind of firebrand. Yeah. You almost got to be horny. Right. You know? Yeah. It's like a rally to the troops, like everybody, like he would get like super passionate and give really good speeches. Yep. It's like goddamn. And I remember people thinking like this motherfucker is a real politician.

He's a bad mother fucker dude!

Yeah, he's just too crazy.

I would argue that he's a you never see a politician that hits that level of emotion that's incredibly rare. Right. So like what he's doing there's very theatrical. Yeah, which is what they've always said that like politicians are just ugly actors. Yeah. You know, like, it's like show business for people once that good looking. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of in a way, what it is. And they don't really have a talent, although Bill Clinton did play the saxophone, remember that? Yeah. But that was before he was president, right? Wasn't it when he went on nursing your haul?

Yeah. Listen, another one. He's another perfect example.

And it was an animal. That's why these people are doing, but that's why they want to be a leader. It's almost like we want to deny our very nature. And we always want to pretend that people like that, like these crazy fiery people that get everybody rallied up, that there's not all the things that go with that package. But he's what, of course, wait over the top. Yeah. Took pictures of his kid next to his dick. Did you see that?

Yeah, I'm sure it is. I'm sure it is, uh, humiliating. I'm sure it is, uh, I mean, it's just the whole thing's crazy in the first place that he has this compulsion to just chat with girls online like that and send dick pictures and stuff like it's like for him. It's like so fun. It's obviously so fun.

It's hilarious. Yeah. It's, it's almost like we're living in a movie. This was in a judd appetite movie. It'd be like, why? Yeah, it's so obvious. His name is Weener. It's in my 13. His name is Dick Weener.

Well, also because a lot of what makes them want to be whatever it is in the first place, whether it's an actor or a famous person or singer or a killer or any people, like to want to be out there. Right. That much.

There's got to be some madness involved in that, usually. And a lot of it involves like your childhood and how you're wired growing up or what you're missing that led you to push so hard. Yeah. Like everybody that I know, you included that's hilarious. Had some crazy fucking life growing up. Yeah. You know, where it was like, you know, when you tell me to story about your parents chain smoking in the house while you were just locked in the winter with the windows closed and you're like a baby.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Oh my god. See, that's a pole, it's an undeniable one, right? It's supposed to figure out one. That seems like everybody gets that one. Like the alcohol pole, it's like some people get it, some people don't, some people can drink a little and not drink for a while. Cigarettes, it seems like almost everybody who gets into it gets stuck. Yeah. It seems like if you were looking at it as a jujitsu artist, it's got a very high rate of finishes. Yeah. Like, there's certain guys that get into certain positions, like, you might be fucked. Like, uh, this has got Damien Mile fights and UFC strangles everybody. And he's just one of those guys when he gets on your back, you're like, oh, you're, you're probably fucked. Yeah. He's got a very high rate of finishing. And that's like if you're smoking cigarettes for three months.

You smoking cigarettes every day for three months? Come on. Let's be honest.

I really could. I really could imagine. I've heard people argue back and forth about the heroin thing. I had this guy, Dr. Carl Hart on my podcast, and it was actually being discussed recently on the message board, which is why I'm bringing it up, where they were saying that he's not correct about it, because he says he's actually experimented with a bunch of drugs himself. It's pretty open about it, but he's also a brilliant academic right's books and he's an addiction specialist. And he's like, there's so much misinformation when it comes to heroin with withdrawal. It goes, it's like being sick. It's like you have the flu. Yeah. That's literally what it's like. It's like that's the physical embodiment of all the symptoms. They're very flu-like and then they go away. Yeah. It's like there's more, it's more psychological. And there's so much more going on about this sort of dependency on this substance. It's not just like a physical dependency. There's a bunch of other factors that sort of can't be denied or ignored and they all play in together. But then other people on my masterboard were saying, no, you're so wrong. tried to kick heroin. It was unbelievably hard. You know, my body was in shock. And then another dude who said that all he did was get on a plane and go somewhere where he knew he couldn't get heroin for a while. And that's how he kicked it. He said, fuck, I'm not just not going to do this anymore. And he said it was only like a few days of feeling like a flu. I don't know who the fuck is right. And I also don't know again if it's the same for everybody. It's like the alcohol thing.

Had you ever smoked? I smoked A cigarette or two with my sister when I was like 15 and she was 14. We moved into this new neighborhood and we're not with the local Tufts.

We went to the bridge. We went down to the bridge. There's this place near my house called Echo Bridge. It was actually right across the street for my house when I was growing up and you could get under the bridge and you could yell and it echoes in this crazy way. It's a Newton upper falls Massachusetts and we'd go down there and sing Billy Squiresong.

And it was all, you know, like people feeling each other up and drinking beers, they snuck out of their dad's kitchen.

Very strange times, man. Very strange times.

Well, it was, uh, it was all very interesting. And then, um, there was a kid. It was a little bit older than us that we knew that we were hanging out. That's it. It's right by the Charles Howard. That's where I grew up. He went a good job today. James is on the balls. Um, but there's a kid who is in my neighborhood who killed somebody drunk driving and killed his best friend while we're on high school together.

No, no, no, but it was that kind of thing, you know, it was like everybody was party in. People were going like that's all anybody wanted to do. If everybody's going to parties, you know, Mike is having a party this weekend, you're going, Donnie's got a party, we're going to, hey, we've got to find a place to party. I mean, there was, this is like the state caveman days. Yeah. And then we're talking about like the 1980s. People were cavemen. No one had phones. There was no, there was most people didn't even have fucking answering machine. Yeah. You know, basic cable, you're like three channels. Yeah. So people just wind up getting drunk and there are kids in a lot of them drove home drunk and I tried really hard not to, but I'm sure it probably did at least two or three times. When I was a teenager, I drove to the point where I definitely shouldn't have been driving. drunk drove fucking three nights a week like severely drunk was crazy yeah I luckily I wasn't drinking that much because it was like right when I just started to transition into getting into martial arts and from then on I pretty much stopped party and totally but it coincided with this dude around the same time I'm not sure like numbers wise. I might be off by year or two, but it was around that area where I was realizing that there was a lot of us doing a really irresponsible danger of shit, like driving drunk and being drunk all the time, going to these parties and having fun and like this is like someone's gonna drown and it's gonna fall off a roof. Some shit's gonna go down. And then this dude, I guess he hit a tree or something like that and killed his best friend. Did he survive?

What a thing to live with. And we were all like, oh shit. Yeah. And the cops actually broke a tomb that way. You killed your breast friend. That's what they said when it was coming out of the unconsciousness in the hospital. That's how they explained it to them. You killed your breast friend. Like what?

Just probably blitzed. You know, and also probably If I had a guess, I think he was a little older than me. I might have been like 17 at the time. So he was 18, 18. It's done. It's over, kid. Maybe I haven't wrong 16 and 17. But it was somewhere in that range. He's a young guy who was just starting to drive. And now all of a sudden, his friend's dead and he's got that mark on him for the rest of his life. And I remember thinking, all right, fuck, drinking, fucking all this. Yeah. Fuck pot. I didn't want to have nothing to do with anything. Anything that was going to ruin my life. I'm like, you can really ruin your life and other people's lives and the loved ones of those other people.

I don't know why today's Ted Kennedy day. I keep bringing them up. But that chop-a-quidic thing, the chop-a-quidic bridge where he was drunk and his car went into the water and his girlfriend drowned. Yeah. And he didn't report it until like hours later. Next morning, yeah. Yeah.

Get that face. Mary Joe. Mary Joe. Capitons key. Is that it? Yeah.

Wow. Drunk is fuck off the bridge and she drowns. That's something he had to carry with him, right?

Yeah. Joe. And he lived to see his nephew die flying his plane.

It wasn't he flying in fog as well? Yeah. Yeah. Holy shit.

Holy shit.

Have you done it? I have been in other people's plans. Yeah. When I was in high school, I had a kid who I was real good friends with. One was like 14. And his dad was even 14. Why am I rambling? His dad was like a big time hunter and Fisherman and he would fly around. He was actually, I think he was a poacher. Oh yeah. I think he was missing an eye. He was a very strange guy. Yeah. And we would go camping with this dude and he would be outside in Maine and it was like zero degrees out. He'd be out there and his underwear and his long underwear. He didn't give a fuck. It's like he had ice water and his veins. It would be so cold out. This guy would be just standing around talking to people with a t-shirt on. He just didn't give a fuck. Is he fat? Yeah, yeah, yeah, bitch.

He was not like an old school sort of a survivor type dude in a lot of ways like he was he was a guy who could like stay in the woods and like live in the woods. Yeah, and he had a plane one of those little One of those little shitty prop planes, and like you'd see in one of those mountain men episodes, the guys are flying over the woods. Yeah, the planes. Yeah. He had one of those. And his son was learning how to take lessons. I went up with him. So we were like, you know, we were fucking kids. Yeah. Like really young. And he's flying around this goddamn airplane with an instructor, but me, him and an instructor. It's scary. Oh, yeah. You're like this thing's a piece of shit. Yeah, right. I mean, this is like a bush plane. Yeah. It's like barely held together. It's like, it's like a lot of people's cars. You know, you get in some people's cars. You're like, all right. I hope we make it. You know?

Like if you're friends with a comic and they give you a ride. Like hey, you go to the improv. Can I go with you? Yeah, sure. And you get in a car and it's an 86-buick. You're like, we might not make it there. Like guys, we're moving along. We've got to really, this might not work out.

I'll tell you this, I do think that the character building aspects of driving in a place where your car could break down or get stuck in the snow and the ice that we experienced when we were kids. I think there's something that I really benefited from that. Yeah, I benefited from being scared of the weather for a while. Yeah, like in the understanding, like, okay, if you drive out there tonight, there's fucking four inches of snow on the ground. They haven't done any plowing. You're going to run into some black ice too, because you know what was raining before it was snowing, before I got cold enough to snow. Okay, we're gonna do this like nobody, nobody has to do that. Right. Right. Right. Right. It's not you don't ever have to go out and wonder whether or not you're gonna stay on the road. Yeah. Like that was a real issue when we were kids. Yep.

Is that the one where they kicked you out? You were swearing. They kicked you out. They made you drive home with a moose were on the road.

Yeah, that road from like, is it Portland to Bangor? Is that what's the first stop when you go across the border in the main?

Something bridge? Okay. Yeah, but anyway, we would go across that and then you would go from this one stop all the way to Bangor. It was one exit and it was 60 miles. It was a long stretch. Yeah. It's probably like 60 miles, right?

I did a few for There was a couple of people that booked gigs. Oh, it was normal for.

Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry.

Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry. Sherry.

Yeah, there's a lot of different people that realize that they can make money just by setting up these comedy nights in these bars. And so we would travel all over New England doing these things. But some of those gigs, like the Bangor one, would take you to these places where if you weren't a comedian, what are the odds you're just gonna go drive up there one day? You're gonna leave Boston and take a three and a half hour drive up through the wilderness on the whole tiny ass roads. Right. In January.

I never booked anything that far out. I don't think. No. I wasn't that desirable. No.

If I got a good gig, it was like, you know, two weeks out or something like that was the next one.

That was my Clark giggles is my Clark and my Clark like it was like yeah, yeah, you got us you got to clean it up rogue. Yeah, he was up it was really funny like it was like one of the first Lenny Clark's brother by the ones who's dirty and one of the best comics from Boston ever like Lenny Clark is a monster and just dirty party or you know just an animal right.

The second time I've ever got paid to work, I worked for Norm LaFalle, and I worked at Jays in Pitsfield. So you never Pitsfield? Yep. Pitsfield's another place. You drive way out there. And, uh, I got off stage. I opened for Lenny. I got off stage. Mike was like, look, I'd like to use you. But you got to clean it up. And this is the fucking Madonna bit. I mean, it was funny, Joe. But you got to clean it up. You can't. And then Lenny came off stage. Don't listen to him, kid.

How many fitsies did we know? Dave Fitzgerald. Yeah, there was, but in just embossed in general. There's so many fitsies.

There was so many goddamn fitsies.

It's a Irish heavy community, man. Boston, so still to this day. So Irish heavy, it's always interesting. And the police force, all fucking Irish. Cops, firemen, a lot of Irish in the firemen department. Politicians. It's also, you have like different flavors on the East Coast that you don't get a lot on the West Coast, like Puerto Ricans. Right. Like Puerto Ricans in New York, they add a very real flavor.

They got flavor. They got style. We have the Mexican, like influence over here on the West Coast, which is like a little bit more laid back.

Look, man, this criminal's everywhere, but I find that Mexican people that I meet, like especially like in America, down to earth, eating out with is very common. Family, family oriented, very common, friendly, hard working, good sense of humor.

Well, they're brown, though. I mean, it's really like they're from over there. It's so stupid. It's so fucking stupid. I mean, Ted Cruz is first of all, his last name is Latino. Yeah. And he's born in fucking Canada. Yeah. And for a guy like that to be against immigration is so hilarious. Like, look at your name, you fuck. Yeah.

She is all matters. She's still hot. She's hot enough dude. She's got the Willie Walker golden ticket And it's between her legs. And she gets in. What is going to die a girl looks like that a green car.

Yeah. It's kind of guy you want when a president. That's it.

It's the guy you got. It's the guy you got. That's what you need folks. Man who can close closed deals Trump Trump's your man period just him just show him his story animated That's the commercial him taking the girl going upstairs. Let's just go for it folks Let's say him he doesn't even take his box of shorts off They're wrapped around his ankles. He's got like expensive gold tips socks on and he probably keeps his dress shirt on mostly why he's just railing her from behind Yeah, and it says Trump it closes deals That's just an animated. She's got a laptop on her back. Yeah, he's just banging the shit out of her and doing stocks. And tweeting at Rosio Donald. You lose a rosy.

I'm here to squeeze and make juice. We're gonna go to jail. That's the president's wife. That's right. That's a real possibility. I mean, I'm not sure if it's the wrong one either. All right. The one thing that I like about Trump becoming president is a one thing that I like is that it throws the whole fucking golf, fucking food cart just, just chucks it over. All right. If I get this mess out. And they've got to figure out a way to come up with a candidate that makes sense to people.

All right, great. That's why it's moving to immigration. Immigration is one that taps those primal fears of invaders.

Taking all the good job. That's a weird thing to I feel like these are the last holdouts to the inevitable conclusion that borders are retarded and we can't have borders anymore. If we all want to pretend to be even we all want to be like We all want to be like kind. We want the Holland to treat Finland the same way we want Japan to treat China. But everybody just treat everybody like they would if we were one gigantic community. Well, you're not going to you never going to have that if you have these places where you can't go in and you can't get out and they can hold you like you can't just cross the border if you go to this place they check your bags like what are we doing? Like what are we doing? What are these like? Well, this side we've done a better job of managing resources and we're not going to be able to slap for those brownies. Right. Those brownies with their El Cucaracho music drinking that tequila down south of the border.

For right now, that makes sense. I understand the impulse to do that right now. I understand if you're the person who doesn't want your house broken into or if you're the rich guy who lives really close to the San Diego and you're like fuck that, keep them over there. I get the sentiment, but when you look at it, if you take yourself out of the picture and you look at the overall picture of human beings on the planet, inevitably those things are going away. This is only a matter of time. It's got a... I was in Seattle the other day and I used this lens thing on phones. Have you ever done this? No. Well, you can take your phone and you hold it up. and you can hold it up to an image, like that has writing on it, and it translates it. Oh yeah, you did it.

Dude. It's incredible. It's amazing. It's incredible. I mean, how long before there's something where when someone talks, It's immediately translated.

You just put an iPhone ear thing on it. What's up? You said they have it? They haven't already? That's a question. If a fucking moron like me comes up with it, like, hey, how about you do this? Like, we've working on it for 10 years.

The translate foreign languages in real time. That's amazing. Wow. This gadget company is crazy. That's crazy. comprises two earpieces that easily fit into your ears. That is fucking amazing. God damn. So when people are talking to you.

God damn, this is an amazing time to be alive when it comes to this stuff.

Well, you know what? Doesn't end well. I need to talk to my friend Steve Hilton. I've had him on the podcast before he says. Like, he'll send hotels? Well, he's no, he's a politician from England. He was for a while. He was David Cameron's White Hand Man. Oh, yeah. And now he runs this thing over in America. He runs a startup called Crowd Pack. Well, you kind of can find out what the candidate stand for you. Like you put in what you stand for. Like what he tells you what he tells you what you should vote for. Yeah. What can a best represents your position? Right. Things. But he actually thinks that the Brexit thing is a good idea. I haven't talked about it lately. Yeah. I know that's what his opinion is and I would like to hear it. I want to know what that because I don't have an opinion. I don't either. I don't understand that they don't want people to be able to immigrate freely all throughout Europe and come to the UK. That was where England had an issue and I understand that some people think it's racist. I don't know enough of it to have an opinion.

See, but this is what I'm saying. If you look at what we're talking about, we're talking about borders. That's essentially a dissolving of borders, right? It's essentially what they're saying. Like, we're just going to start saying these borders don't mean anything. Yeah. You can move to wherever the fucking ones just pop back and forth from each one of these countries in Europe, where a union, like the United States in a lot of ways. And really, probably, how much bigger, who's bigger? All of Europe in the European Union or the continental United States? What's bigger physically?

Right, but is Russia considered Europe? No. Is it Asia? Russia's Asia.

Yeah.

Oh, I thought it was pretty Europe. There you've resisted. You're so lucky they're white because you could be ignorant about them and no one gives a shit. Fucking I'm white. But you know what I mean? Because the Russians are white. Like the Caribbean called the racist. How big is United States compared to Europe? United States is 9,161,923 kilometers. Europe is 3,788. So yeah, we're three times larger. I mean close to at least. Yeah. Wow. Two and a half times the size of the European Union. Okay, but either way. These are, we're talking about two fairly large countries.

Well, do you know the story of the Mongols? The Mongol people are now listening to this are going, no, no Mongols. No, I didn't.

Do me a favor and everybody who hasn't heard of this before. Do me a favor. Listen to Dan Carlin's hardcore history series called The Wrath of the Khan. Yeah. It is fucking epic. It's fine. It's my blood story. But Dan Carlin covers it. It's a masterpiece. It's a masterpiece. It's five episodes on Genghis Khan and his family and all the crazy shit that they did.

Okay, Russia is a European, or okay, the question is, blah, blah, blah, look at it in Asia. A larger part of its huge landmasses located in what is Asia, while more Russians live in the country's European part. So it's both.

So Moscow's a European partner close to that and then the rest of it's interesting. Interesting. So is that all that all that sound of knowing that much about the globe, even though I do know the earth is flat because I go on YouTube. If you miss a paint attention to that, oh, you don't know. You don't know. You don't know. There's a fucking enormous group of people in America in 2016 that think the earth is flat and that is a big conspiracy. Really? There's tons of videos on it. There are tons of videos on how satellites are not real, but there are planes in low earth orbit that just keep flying around, transmitting data that just constantly flying these planes around, lying about their being satellites. Yeah.

Wow, look at all. It's all connected back up a little bit there. Young Jamie. Look how China just sort of rolls into Europe like that. And that's why When you look at the all the different kinds of languages that exist in that one area. I know.

And so then they switched over to the euro made everything way easier. Yeah. But now that England bailed, no more European unions or no more euro either.

But I'm saying no more euro in England.

But one day it's going to be what it is, right? One day they're going to figure out how to get the whole thing and make it one. Might not be in our lifetime. Might be 100 years from now. Will they abandon the idea of That's the only way things are going to be fair. It's like, no. Because one way thing is things are not fair. If you live in a really shitty country, if you're really a war torn part of the world or something like that, you're not allowed to just move anywhere you want. Yeah. Because everybody would just live Miami. Right. They would just talk. They're just so called a good spot. And they would just overwhelm that bitch. You know, they just fucking float on over. And Miami would just be like a crazy market. Yeah. It would just be chickens running through the streets and people play a music and they're underwear. Way more extreme than it is now.

You'd never get any more.

But a Kansas would be like trees.

I wonder. Well, that's sort of how it's always been. I'm not excusing people. This is one thing that I think it's lost as whole climate change debate. Climate change for the record, I think, is definitely real. And I think it's definitely being affected by human beings and pollution and what we're doing to environment. I don't think that's, I don't think that's deniable. But I think that that said we should also look at, forget about what people have done. I think just we should also be aware that this fucking thing changes and it changes, there's ice ages back when people were knocking sticks together and hoping to start a fire and still created ice age had nothing to do with people. The thing fluctuates, it gets weird and you can go through periods where North America is covered in a mile high sheet of ice like was the case 10,000 years ago. That's hard for people to get in their heads. 10,000 years ago, we weren't doing anything as far as cars. There was no hairspray. We weren't shitting on the earth at all. And there was a mile high sheet of ice that covered most of North America. Yeah. That's the Great Lakes. That's all that those flatlands. Those were plowed over by giant glaciers. It just smushed the earth.

There's statues from 10,000 years ago. Yeah. There's shit in Turkey that they've discovered that 3,000 years older than that. So during that time without people doing anything, it's changed radically. So I'm not exonerating people, but I'm saying, there's a real fucking stupid part of this global warming climate change issue is that it's become some sort of an ideological debate between the left and the right. the left to blame everything on people and the right who say it's all bullshit or some of them say it's all bullshit or it offers solutions that really don't take into account the environment. The reality is this fucking planet is volatile.

Yeah, well, that does happen with people, man. We get super rigid and not just an opinion, but an aside and a side to take. I think we have to be whoever, whoever's right, whoever's wrong about global warming. We have to fucking wake up. And so, how much resources we have left and how quickly will we burn in them? Yeah. So this is something about China. One area of China that's dangerously close to having its oceans ecosystem completely collapsed due to overfishing. Yeah, because you think about what the ocean is, right? Let's turn the ocean into instead of this gigantic mass of water. Let's just have it a tank, the size of this room. And all these little fish in here are fucking making new fish. And then we throw in a few little tiny boats with scoopers in them. And they just scoop around and scoop fish up. Just scoop fish up. And hopefully scoop fish up in enough time that gives the remaining fish time to fuck and make more fish. And then they scoop fish up. And then they scoop fish up. And they keep doing this and like. How long can you do that before there's no more fish? Well, it turns out, it's about 50, 60 years. And where they are at right now is there's some places that are collapsing. They're like, wow, there's no more fish.

Well, it's not only that, it's like there's no sustainability plan in a lot of parts of the world. This suck out as much as you can, fuck the world. And just do it because that's how you make a profit. And they're just international waters. There's like all this weird debate about, you know, hiking control people fishing and what you can do. And they have an hard enough time like sea shepherd has an hard enough time catching people killing whales. Do you know how they're getting away with killing whales? Yeah. They pretend that it's scientific research.

So these boats go out and they slaughter whales for scientific research and they sell their bodies.

It's like a loophole that allows in the profit still off killing whales. So like you could never do that if I could will was like a land creature in North America where you know, it was this this beautiful thing that walked by when we knew there was like a only a few of them left. Yeah. Like wow. Keep that thing alive. How cool it is. They never hurt people. They don't they don't eat plants.

Yeah, well not only that, um, one of them try to kill themselves. Oh, yes themselves. Really. Yeah, one of them like came out of the container. And like I'm trying to kill myself. Makes sense, man. They're supposed to be smart.

Yeah, you can't tell people where to go unless they have guns. If they come over in a battleship, right? That's what you can tell them. Hey, fuckface. Right. A bit of like a fishing boat. Probably you're pretty close. Yeah. But they must have like waters that are designated for international fishing.

Uh, that's interesting. So they're closing off channels.

And they're calling it land reclamation. Yeah.

Just they're probably throw all your poo. We have to we have to deal with the billion people's poo. What should we do with it? Let's just make an island.

Yeah, there's just a series of islands. There's two of them. One of them that looks like the earth. Like all the continents.

Yeah. No, well, they're grounded, but they built them up. Yeah. But, you know, I mean, it's so cocky, any fucking change. See, they have a sea wall around them. Yep. And see how the sea wall has like those little vents or water can come in and water can come out, but it'll stop like a giant surge. So it allows water to escape, so they don't get overwhelmed. Wow. It's really interesting to design, but most people think it's not going to last.

And what have you done down here? Mother's gonna go, I think I want to clean today.

She's just pulling out Bentley's and Gucci bags and Jimmy's shoes.

Take you down to the raw molecules and try again.

Wow. But overall scroll down so I can read what it says that. It says this added 144 miles of shoreline to Dubai. Holy shit. 144 miles of sand.

Dude, it is really weird how much money they have. I mean, Dubai is like a fascinating exercise and what you can do if you have all the money.

There is one guy I saw at, there's a Beverly Hills hotel, I forgot which one it was but I went to dinner there and they had these cars that were from Saudi Arabia with Saudi Arabian plates. They either fly them over here or they ship them over here and it's apparently the sign of like a super baller is that you keep your Saudi Arabian license plates on your Bugatti Veyron as you drive around Beverly Hills. So you drive it on Beverly Hills in a car that costs over a million dollars. A million dollars. Yeah. And you have these plates that are not legal at all. And no one says shit to you. Yeah. Because it's obvious that you're some prince or some sports and type dude.

Wow. That's super baller stuff. Yeah. But isn't that one of those things where it always accelerates? Like everything continues to accelerate. Like what made you a super baller in 1996 does not make you a super baller in 2016? Yeah. You've got to get on that next level shit. Yep. And the next level shit if you're a guy from, you know, Abu Dhabi or Dubai is every year right fly back. Do California and I spin the summer there.

And you just have some baller pad and Beverly Hills. And all you just do is come all the time. Right. It is shooting loads.

They fade on. Well, if you're a girl and you are. It's a nice way to buy it. uh... loose morally if you are are okay with doing sexual things for money if you can get a lot of money out of a gentleman yeah that's uh... that's the kind of gentleman you would want to get because i could give you a million dollars you wouldn't even notice doesn't even think about it some of these guys will put you up in an apartment just for when they're back in town it's good move yeah

He's also super-bauer. Super-baller. Three cars flying in on a plane. He's getting his feet done. The entire time smoking a vape with sunglasses on. He's getting a pedicure on the plane. And just setting it up. He's got a phone on the plane. You can have phones on planes. Remember? We should always have phones on planes.

That's right. You could use it across a hundred dollars or something. That's right. You call people. Remember that? It was in between your seats.

It probably doesn't make name for himself like the Raptor.

The raptor is in the air. Prepare yourself. Here he is. Look at him. Oh my god, I called this guy. This is the guy I called. He's got a gold and what kind of gun is that? It says rich kids of Dubai. So this kid's got some gold plated automatic rifle. He's sucking on, is that a vape pan or a hookah? That's the hookah. That's the hookah. The gun is the hookah. Oh my god, you're right. Oh, so it's not a real gun. Of course it's not. So that's his hookah and he's on a plane. So he's smoking a hookah on a plane or is that a limo? It's a limo. That's a car door next to his leg. I thought it was an actual plane. But I mean, that's him. Wait, you talked to him? No, no, I make this guy up and he's, he's real. Right. I made him up, but he exists. Yep. Rich kids of Dubai. I didn't know that that was an Instagram page.

Look, man. You don't have to talk to someone who understands them.

Oh, yeah. That's a big thing with those, those types of gentlemen. And what kind of car you have?

Yeah. Like maybe maybe they'll really turn out Kansas girl like Daisy Dudes and cowboy hat and one of those, one of those flannel shirts that ties in a knot. Yeah. She's got boots and he pulls his B. Got a V. Ron into some Texas gas station right, which he's buying worms because she's fixing to go fishing. I said, what do you go for? You catch your own fish. I have plenty of fish. Come here. My yacht. Look at that guy. Who's um? How many of them speak English? And how many of them are Russian? I need Russian, they're big. I need answers. Yeah, man. This guy's ball and don't hate. Jamie Hayton.

How about this dirty bitch? I want to join you ladies. Yeah. See folks, it takes every kind of people. That's a song. What's in it?

We just pull it out together.

Oh, well, don't be mean. Don't go on to her page. Don't blow her out. She's a freak.

or else people stop going there. Yeah, and it's a known strategy. It's like, put people like, you know, cockfest is opening. It's opening next week. You coming in? Cockfest. Is that a, is that an area? Yeah, it's amazing. You know, DJ fuck faces there. DJ fuck face left the trap. Yeah, he's, he's done with them. They were, they fucked him.

How much Molly do you want? They're essentially like, if Vegas had a test, we could test people for ecstasy when they failed. You wouldn't let them in the club. They'd be no one in the club. It is a weird thing. There's a lot of drinking for sure, but the amount of people that are going to see those crazy DJ shows that they have in Vegas and probably Molly and up out of their mind, probably Jamie, what would you ask you? You're a young man. Would you say, how many people that are going to see these? Vegas musical shows are doing an ecstasy.

80 to 90 percent son.

Look at this. Access Las Vegas unveils $10 million makeover. Holy shit. Look at that place. That's like the ice palace in Frozen.

That's hilarious that place. It's awesome. Yeah, I did I did X to see once. And I never did it again. If fucked me up, I had a great time when I was on it though, and I learned a lot of shit. I learned a lot of shit about like he just dissolves insecurities, like they're gone. And it like gives you like an insight into like the structure of the building of your personality, like takes away the walls. And you're like, oh, here's the support frame. And this was like the doorway that everything goes through like, oh, okay, I got it. So the insecurity is all this like this like guard that's like constantly on the lookout for your peace of mind and for your ego, your self-esteem, and for your relaxation, like it's a gut you cover, the gut you cover, so this thing is like this tension is around you all the time, and it manifests itself in a bunch of different ways, and one of them is insecurity, and when you take that initial excesy experience, and it dissolves that feeling, you go, aha. There's a lot of the weird shit that people trip on for no reason and me weird shit that I would trip on for no reason that makes you wonder like how much time am I wasting with these like really poor thoughts how much energy yeah so much energy like I was thinking the other day what is it like to work at the national inquire or When you talk about like blowing out massive amounts of energy on nonsense, I was at the counter, I was picking up some fruit. And I went to the supermarket and I stopped in the line to put my stuff on and there's this national choir thing that says, I sold Coke to Matt Lauer.

He said like we Larry King's wife caught cheating on him and then there was another one. There was some other scandal on it too.

I don't know man.

I don't know. Poor Larry. I saw him on a show recently. I think it was like co bear. Remember we were watching it? Jimmy? What was that show that we were watching? His body looks very strange. Yeah. Very strange. He's curling, right? Well, it's way worse than that. There's something going on where there's no tissue in between his bones. So like when he sits there, he'll sit down, everything just sort of collapses, like a folding chair. It assumes these weird angles. Like he's sitting there and he's got like one arm up. Like, look at that. Look at that picture right there. Yeah. That's one, but there was another one when he was on the couch. I want to say he was on the couch of the Colbert show. I want to say that's what he was doing. Um, and it was just fucking strange to look. I like, oh Larry, like you got to lift some weights. Like you got to, you got to use it. He's a yoga soldier. Oh, shit, though, isn't he? How much older seed is the loan?

Powerful lorry king. No wonder why it doesn't care for his wife's cheats on him. It's like he was a fuck. I'm over here coming on money. All right.

Yep. Would you hit it?

Don't go to that page. How dare you? You're about to click. You little gossiper. Um, when I was getting at, is that, like, imagine working in a place where that's all you're doing constantly.

Well, also, they're allowed to make shit up. All they have to say is a source told us. Yeah. That's all they have to say.

It's just so funny.

Yeah. What would we call it? Common inquire. Just ripped them off.

Los Angeles shit.

Well, they probably sued the shit out of somebody.

Yeah, because of Hulk Hogan. Yeah, hanged his wife.

Yeah. One lawsuit took him down. Yeah. Didn't they get hit for over a hundred million bucks? Something like that. Just because they shot it. Showed his cock.

Well, where the video is also some like really defined statements like someone asked them about like underage girls like was it was it wasn't there a question like that.

Hulk Hogan. Yeah. No, no, not not that. That was something else. There was a different thing. What I'm talking about is the what they asked him like at what age would you not release that video? Yeah, the guy who got sued, the gawker guy.

They asked him something and he gave this a really defined response, you know, like I fucking I put it up. I put it up. Yeah. I definitely put it up. I don't I forget what it was, but I remember listening to it. Like, oh, they're gonna get this guy. Yeah. You can't just do that. You can't even say you put an underage sex tape up. People are like, oh, you're just out of control. Yeah. And what did he say? Okay. Yeah, he's down and then they sued him personally, too. Hulk Hogan sued him personally for like 35 million bucks and then sued Gawker for like 100 and whatever million bucks.

He's the best. Later asked by an attorney for Hogan if there was a situation which a celebrity tape might not be newsworthy Delario responded if they were a child. The attorneys then asked him to specify a child or under what age dollarino responded for no

I didn't think it was that. I didn't think it was that young. I thought it was talking about like a 14 year old. My brain was probably so disturbed by that.

It's probably on Coke. Let the guy go. It's probably doing anti-depressants. Lots of cocaine. Running a thing like gocker. You gotta be wired up. Gotta be on edge.

Spring Break videos.

Well, that guy was kidnapped in his house. Like his house was broken into and he got raped. Like a guy raped him with a dildo.

Probably. Something along those lines.

So he did something to this guy's sister.

Yeah, it's probably going to happen. Well, it definitely happened. Wow. That girl's gone wild. Remember that? There was like a moment where that was, if like you tried to do something like that today, no one would give a fuck. You mean the, the internet. You're saying you're going wild with the net. Plenty of shit that you could watch. That's way more crazy than girls gone wild that you would never have to pay for.

There was a brief window in time, a brief window, where you could just run through. And that guy ran through and sold videos that you could buy late night on a website. Girls gone wild. And you would watch these videos and people would pay for them.

Well, they found the guy. It says the the masked man later turned out to be sexy in what why is it sexy? Why is that sexy Hollywood con con man? Darnell Riley then tried to blackmail Francis for up to $500,000 for the tape and he would have gotten away with the two of it wasn't for Paris Hilton who was also being blackmailed by Riley. Wow. Holy shit. She was an idiot who profited him and he introduced him. and introduced him to a social circle to begin with with Paris's help. Police were able to arrest Riley, who copped a plea and is currently serving eight years in prison for robbery and extortion. The irony is that he'll probably be a free man for a few years while Francis will likely be serving a term on tax evasion charges. What year is this? This doesn't age. He's not in jail for that. Oh, he's out. So this guy's out to them in eight years.

why they probably strategically why do you say this guy is uh... that's the whole thing is weird so you just think they've met a con man the con man found out with joe frances lived and uh... fucked up in the hospital well how rude uh... speaking of florida can i plug that it Yeah, please do. We were talking before the show. Is this week you're doing that the four out of there? It's a great room.

It's rowdy. Yeah, it's a fun gig. I'm not a big fan of Cicinos. We've talked about that before the show started, like the Indian Cicinos and Native American Cicinos. They're dark to some, some bizarre about that.

I stayed at the hard rock last time I was in Orlando and this couple next to me was You could hear it. Oh, it was great. Yeah. This guy was laying some pipe. I wish I met him in the hallway. I'd give him knuckles.

I'm heard of fuck you doing. I'm a fuck. I'm heard of fuck. She's done. No, like he was he was pounded at like bam. Yeah.

I was like, whoa. Yeah. It was going off quite a while, so I was like, this guy is really laying some pipe. That's fucking great. Yeah, he's definitely took vitamins. He's definitely a shape. Yeah. He's pounding it for a while. And I was like, there's something about that. Well, you ever have a cat, cats will hide under couch, but their tails hangin' out. Bitch, I see you. Well, he pretend he's hiding.

No, he's around. No, everybody can hear you. Hey, everybody can hear everything you say. Everybody can hear you. You're you're basically broadcasting to the people above you below you and to each side.

My places, comedy maps. Oh, yeah, that's good. It's excellent. It's like a great restaurant.

The flavors really good. I have a neat and a flap. Oh, yeah, I did. No, I ate a flappers once. Yeah, flappers really good too. Yeah. Yeah. There's a few places. Remember the imp- the imp- the imp- try to do a barbecue joint they try to have like fake fucking yeah fake old westy shit in front of the roadhouse and they have like like a rusty saws on the wall and stuff like that's like where this theme come from like what are you doing what corporate meeting dreamed of this idea I know this isn't a farm My retarded. Okay. Hoads just puts me in the corner.

I was drunk at the bar. Like, Jim, what are you doing in the wild bus? What are you doing out here with the cowpokes and our barbecued sandwiches? And our fancy old western bar. Look, this board's weathered. There's some old shitty wood.

Yeah, show up with some shoes that were professionally scuffed. Yeah. You brought them to these like poor immigrant children.

It's a little look like they're like you're a man of the world, a worldly man.

Oh good gig.

Like I did that. You went podcast festival for England confusing. You said people give them the thinking like is this in Cleveland too? Right. And then you say in LA like, Oh, not have to rethink everything.

You should bring guys in the road.

There's so many new guys here now. This is like a guy. You see someone a couple of times like that dude. Right. What's up? Right. You know, I know. Yeah. What's up? Like you've worked with them on the road or no, you've seen them at the improv or see this like there's always new people. Yeah, you know like the comedy business as far as like the amount of comics.

Marin brings that shit up. I guess a lot of guys get real upset and like people with all tear your motives that also do stand up. Yeah, like stand up is a sacred thing that must pull. You must commit to yourself only to this art. Like it's some dark art. Like yeah, they're gonna try it out for a while and then they're gonna move on to other things. It's fucking losers.

It's blood clot. That's cyst burst.

It was a polished deep hemroy that leaked from her asshole into her vagina through the wall. It's so such a heavy flow.

But she's sticking tampons in some residual some of it. I swear this came out of my vagina. I think I've been feeling cranky. I'm heavier than ever.

I used to date this fella and he had a hook like dick. And I think he wore a hole in the wall. And my vagina with his hook dick. And that is where the blood.

Did you see that video of that woman? She was suing her ex fiancee some billionaire character and they got video for beating the shit out of herself on the bed. No. She put surveillance cameras in the bedroom. No, she's whaling on her own face in the bed. Wow.

Wait, and who is the guy? Some rich guy. He's breaking it off of there. She's like, oh, yeah, I'm all the funker.

Yeah, I did, but honestly, he wasn't there. Stan Hope, he wasn't there when it all went down. If he ever did really whack that chicken head, I don't know if he did. I wasn't there. Look at this girl. Look at this. Show the end, Jamie. But just show the beginning because the beginning is ridiculous. Watch this.

She's insane. And then she starts throwing these tantrums and then doing it again. And she does it a bunch of times. Oh my god. She just keeps wailing on her own face and screaming and yelling.

And there's no one there. She's doing that shit by herself.

I don't know. I don't know if she's doing that. That's actually smart. Move you open up all the windows. Do it so the neighbors can hear it. Beat the shit out of yourself. Can you hear his call the cops? You come out. He left. Do you just left five minutes here? He just messed up. Wow. Meanwhile, he had surveillance cameras. You get to see darkness sometimes things like that. Ooh, that's dark.

They just felt bad.

I've lost him. There's a way to make this better. I see an opening.

Hey, he grabbed my fucking head. I just can't prove it. I feel justified in my embellishment.

The cameras they did have. They just draw with crayons. Yeah. They were terrible.

I mean, any surveillance system from the 1980s? Yeah. Kind of shit film was that. It really got a VHS tape from the 1980s. All right. Oh, you remember that movie, Jamie, that VHS movie, that horror movie that people told me about that's awesome? Do you ever see that movie? The VHS, it's like found footage, like look what we found.

No, it's like that. But VHS is just, it's just a horror movie, but it has this one, um, one segment of it. There's like three or four segments. Let me segment. There's one segment where there's this girl. This, and she plays this demon that really loves this guy and she's kind of hot. And she meets this guy at a bar and she's just really strange. And they get back to an apartment and they're all drinking. And this guy starts banging her and she turns into this demon and kills them all. It's fucking wild. And they've decided to make a whole movie. Is the best part of the series, the VHS series by far. So they decided to make a whole movie of it of this one character. Apparently it's out. Is it called like sirens or something like that?

Well, that's part of the problem in the thing. Like she fucks this guy. She's fucking him, but she kills all his friends. Yeah. But she likes him. And she keeps saying, I like you.

She's covered in blood. She's got giant teeth, her head is grown, so her forehead is split down the middle, or skin is split down the middle, because her head is grown, and she's got all these teeth, and she's sucking his cock with his blood caked all over her face. She's like, I like it.

It's awesome. Is it like porn? No, no, you don't see it. It's like, from his perspective, it's like glasses on, where he can see it. Siren clip goes on the run and attacks. What does that mean? Yeah, I think that's the movie.

Directed it releases in theaters December 2nd, 2016. Okay.

So it's going to be on demand December 2nd. I hope it's good. Probably like a little clip of it. See if you can find a little clip of the scene in VHS. No, not this one, the original one. The original scene where there's the where the girl's like, I like you. There's like a clip of it. It's like a trailer of it.

Did it get released? But the rest of the movie wasn't good. Yeah. It's like this one part is really scary and fucked up and like wild. And it gives you all these feelings. Like, ah, and it lasts for 20 minutes or maybe a half an hour at the most. But this is how I like what I play it for.

Oh, it's just that that's it. She kept doing that to him. And he's like, yeah, I like you too. She's like, I like you. And then as they got alone together, and then with her all their friends and everyone's drinking, and then when she turns into this demon and kills them all, it's fucking horrific, because it's all seen from the first person perspective. It's all seen from this guy's eyeglasses that he's wearing. He's wearing his video. That's her. That's her when she's sucking his dick.

He's freaking the fuck out.

It was so scary. You know, demon seems stupid. It seems like stupid that something can turn into that. But look. How bizarre is a black widow? How bizarre is a spider that eats her meat? Yeah. You know, how bizarre is a lot of nature that's absolutely real. Yeah. There's a lot of weird shit out there in nature. The things change. They morph. They become a different thing. Yeah. It feels like just like small percentage of women that when you fucked them, they became demons.

You don't know. You don't know until you get them hot. And they're out there in the dance floor. And they're fucking really shaken it. Because they can't wait to become a demon. Yeah. And they're really trying to draw you in. I like you.

She doesn't speak English. Bro, that's a demon. I'm telling you that's a demon. There's a demon in six weeks. There's no demons, bro. You gotta take the chance. Would people still fuck? Absolutely. Oh yeah. Would guys still get drunk and take random women home that say I like you? There would be girls that would pretend to be demons so they can get guys. It'd be like like you know, or that some gay guys become bug catchers or bug chasers where they try to get HIV.

No. Yeah, it was like a real phenomenon in the gay community where like reckless gay single guys would actively try to get HIV for fun.

And obviously this is not representative of the entire gay community and I'm not being any way discriminatory. What I'm saying is that these are real people that actually did this because people vary. People are nuts. Well, if there was a demon, there was just one small percentage of the population. It's less than 1% of 1%. Yeah. If you meet 1,000 people, one of them is a demon.

Use condoms because he died of AIDS? Yeah. Whoa.

When you think about it, getting aids, or getting Ebola, or syphilis, is a lot like having a demon in you.

I like you. Like it's not going to suck your dick and bite your balls off, but it's just going to be... Like you invited it in.

Got a little drunk, she had cute feet.

Aww. And then you go to pee.

Is it hot in here? Is it hot in here? No, it's freezing. This office is freezing.

Yeah. Isn't that how alcohol porn died? He died from syphilis? Did he? I believe so.

Oh, Al Capone spent the last year of Zaptras sentence would have been reduced to six years and five months for a combination of good behavior and work credits in the hospital section being treated for syphilis. He was released. He slowly deteriorated while staying at his palm island estate in Miami on January 25, 1947 he died of cardiac arrest. So yeah, syphilis got him. You know, that's a slow demon. Is it syphilis? But it's a demon. It's the same thing. Yep. I mean, it's not gonna talk to you, it doesn't come from hell. But it comes from here, it does the same job. It just takes a different form, it's not as terrifying to us for some reason. But if as many people died from demons as died from the flu, we'd be shitting our pants every day. Like thousands of people in this country die from the flu. Nobody's out there freaking out. Like imagine if you go to CVS and get an anti-demon shot. Because the same amount of people, the same amount of people who died from the flu, died of demons. So you get there, they have like garlic rings at the store. You have to go and throw them on, and there's crosses everywhere you go. Yeah. We would be in a state of terror if demons kills many people as colds do.

Well, yeah, I mean, what percent? Okay, let's take a guess here. How many people ever, like over the course of human history, have died from VD? How many millions of people?

100 million? 100 million. I think you're probably right. Let's say 100 million people have died from venereal disease worldwide. How many people do you think it is every year? How many people is like, in a year? If I let's shit like that kill.

It certainly wasn't in the AIDS. I don't have no honestly. Now that I'm saying this, I'm realizing I'm totally talking about my ass. I have no knowledge of what the actual numbers of the AIDS crisis were. I had a guy on my podcast a long time ago. Who is a biology at the University of California, Berkeley? And he does not believe that HIV causes AIDS. And over all the people that I've ever had on my podcast that created more people angry at me in controversy, I just wanted to talk to the guy because I don't understand the argument. I don't understand how one person can have this point of view that all these other scientists and biologists don't have What the fuck is that guy's name? Donner.

Yeah, his name's Doosburg. Doosburg. Doosburg is a German gentleman. And what he believed is that it was a competent, he said that I'm doing a shitty job paraphrasing it, but what are you saying? I know I clear my throat too much. I'm on a stop, America. I love it because I love it, but I got to stop drinking it. It's just drink water for podcast. It's annoying. It's annoying to me and I'm clearing my own throat. Anyway. This Doosburg fella thought that it was a good idea to tell everybody that HIV was actually a weak virus and that it was a symptom of a deteriorated immune system rather than the cause of a deteriorated immune system. And he believed that the cause of the deteriorated immune system was a bunch of different recreational drugs that these guys would take. And then there's a disproportionate amount of these men From these areas in parts of town where they were doing a lot of drugs and how to sex. Yeah, email nitrate and crystal math and all the different stuff which is apparently email nitrate in particular all that stuff is apparently devastating tear immune system and so it was his belief that the HIV aspect of it was just a symptom of a dead deteriorated immune system from drugs and that they were saying that that caused it but how the fucking you sneak that by all these different scientists it just doesn't sense like I obviously don't understand the argument and he is a tenured professor at the University of California Berkeley and apparently he's made great strides and cancer research is actually a very very intelligent guy but when one guy has like a theory like this and everybody else is like fuck you like this got to be it's it just doesn't seem like it could be possibilities right I don't know. I don't understand it, but it doesn't make sense to me that one guy has figured this out. Yeah. And so when I had him on man, people got so angry. Yeah. They're good so angry. That's a perfect guest. They're like, blood is on your hands. I'm like, well.

I got a news for you. If you take it in the ass because this podcast, you're going to take it in the ass anyway. So don't you feel like you're letting tell me?

You were ready. Is no way. I am swaying your decision to get butt fucked without condom. I am not. You take responsibility for your own actions. You son of a be.

How ridiculous is that idea? Yeah. Well, I wanted to know, I mean, someone said that you should do it with a qualified medical professional so that you could have someone to counter access claims. That is a very good point and one I probably should have taken into consideration and I probably would try to do that today. But back then, I mean, this is many years ago when I was two in the podcast, I couldn't believe the guy even wanted to talk to me. Yeah. You know, I was like, it was going to be great. I always wanted to know what this fucking crazy dude believes, because everybody would always tell you dude, you've read Doosburg. You had a thing in Spin Magazine. HIV doesn't even cause AIDS, bro. I was like this article in Spin Magazine, I read, which was, um, was that the penthouse guy didn't have something to do with? Sorry. No, that's hustler.

Anyway, there was this article in it about Doosburg, about HIV, and I remember reading it going, because it's even possible. Is it possible? Those things are really sketchy and dangerous for people like URI who doesn't know Jack shit about the human body. But how much do you know about diseases?

And all fairness though, you would've done the same thing.

Yeah, man, any reason to keep away from you and your young kids are ruthless. Yeah. And when they like how they bump and re gather their relationships back up again. Yeah. God, they're ruthless in there. How they break up with each other or how they like shun one. They'll kick one fucking duckling with a limp. Pant a shit out of that duck and kick into the pond. Fuck you. They look forward to like kicking someone out. Yep. Don't ever fuck that guy again. You don't have to tell me. All right.

Yeah. You know, after a while, no one's gonna care anymore, but they care right now.

You have to sneak in. Just to go on dates with other guys. She goes on dates with other guys and says she feels like shit. She goes home early and then she fucks you. Yeah. Like barely. She's wondering why she's doing it. She's waiting for one guy to come along that she goes on the date with earlier that it's like preferred to you. Yeah. Right now you're like barely hanging in there.

A fucking disease can change the course of your life. All right. Like that could have, like, changed your confidence. You know what? I bet it did for the better.

That and I also bet it helped you deal with, like, like the the inevitable moment on stage of you say things that people don't think is funny and you have to like kind of have some personal sovereignty yeah like that's a good way to develop personal sovereignty becoming outcast yeah girls I want to fuck you anymore and you're like hey I have a mirror I know I'm not a fucking freak yeah like what's going on here like this is bullshit yeah and then of course it's a way back your handsome little fellow when you were young that's right which old had a hair full head of hair bright Irish smile clean dick after a while shiny oh I used to buck with wit

You know why I stumbled across a tweet of the other day, Larry Repucci.

Well, I think it was what it was was I was on Tim McIntyre's Twitter. I was like searching Tim McIntyre Boston comic. I was on his Twitter feed for whatever reason I was bored. and reading some funny shit that he had and interesting stuff and you know you do that you go on like a little Twitter timeline thing and ran across a Facebook message from Larry Repucci who when we were kids when we were starting out Larry was kind of a legendary character in Boston, who uh... well he he got a like a full-time gig with the next comedy stop where all he worked was next comedy stop gigs he was one of those few guys a few guys that got that package member they gave him like 500 bucks a week and they would just work on the death he do what but he knew that 500 bucks was coming in every week and never had a worry about work he worked and he was so loose because of it because he was like it was in you know they allowed him to do other gigs too i think i know i did I know I did some other gigs with him too that may not even Nick's comedy stop gigs, but for the most part he worked for them. And he was such a character. Yeah.

That place, man. I don't want to live there right now. I don't want to do that in the winter. No. God damn was a fun place to grow up.

It's amazingly as adults when we're looking back on it. You literally couldn't ask for a better place. We found the best place, the best time. It's almost like if you are in some sort of assimilated reality and you wanted to do the dream of struggling but eventually becoming a professional stand-up comic. Where do you want to start? I want to start out in the golden days of comedy in the 20th century.

I'm gonna drop you off and Boston. It's gonna be cold. The winner's gonna give you something to bitch about people of short-tension spans. They want you to give it to them quick. They have very little patience for bullshit. You couldn't be indulgent. There was no room for indulgent. Yeah. You know? Major really appreciated tensions spans. It's fucking freezing outside, dude. Get to the point.

Yeah, and it's really like, for the most parts, like, 10 years, right? Like, 10 years where you know what you're doing, really?

Even then, you're pretty shaky.

It might be right. It's hard to call, but it's just so interesting when you look back. You're like, wow, it all sort of like played itself out. Like it was a program.

Yeah, folk musicians, there's a few that broke free. Right? Like who's like a big folk musician?

She had some really creative vocals too. Yeah. Really creative lyrics. What a voice range. Yeah, she's someone that you don't really hear. You know, like, you could be at any given barred any given night in here, sweet home, Alabama. But what are the odds that you can hear like Chuck Eason love, right? You know?

Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting, man. The what we've just seen past in our lifetimes. The different styles. of music in the different like eras of music at the 80s era, like when we were in high school it was all like van Halen. Yeah, you know, it was all like always in and not good.

Bad company had that song shooting star, right? That was a song that every kid thought was about that. Yeah.

And then it's this whole thing about him becoming this rock and roll star. And then dying, like really young, dying is bad.

John Cougar, melon camp man. Um, you know, he had a lot of those kind of songs, right? Yeah. I was in Indiana once, which is where he's from, right? You would think, God damn. Indiana for John Cougar, melon camp is like a Bruce Springsteen. Is anywhere in New Jersey, like at a sporting event, and they put a camera on Bruce Springsteen.

Woo! Anyway, he goes, right? Not John Cougar, melon camp man.

I go, hey man, why are they booing John Cougar melon camp? And he also, he's generally thought of as a liberal and like a fake Indiana person. Yeah, like he sold out.

Yeah, we're conservative.

But he's Jack and Diane. Like you're not, you're gonna, not gonna cheer for a guy from your town.

You know what a lot of it is? There's something like, go back to that picture that you just showed. There's something about a guy who can even pull this off that I cannot root for. Yeah. He is sitting in a convertible car. He has beautiful hair. His arms are up. He has a sleeveless shirt on. He has some sort of a bracelet on. And he's hanging back with his feet up. He's super confident and casual. And he's a beautiful man. And he's saying it about love and all these different things. And there's part of you at that age. We're just, you look at it. You look as ridiculous.

Cowboy Boots are important to be down home. He's got an old ass car too. You think John Cougar, Millencom, can't afford a new car? Why has he got that fucking old car? Because the old car is like down home. Yeah. Yeah. He's got a car that makes noise when you start up. It's like some old like MG or some shit like that. Like you wouldn't really drive that. He's probably like, get this stinky piece of shit away from me.

Well, his real name was John Melon Camp. And when they were making his first album come out, they're like, what did that change name? Melon Camp's not going to sell. We're going to call you John Cougar. John Cougar. It sounds American. It sounds like rugged. Do you mean you got boots on, brother? Yeah. You're a Cougar. You are a Cougar. That's how they got you. So they sell it as John Cougar and then he's like, hey man, I want to be John Melancham. Like, no, you can't do it. How about John Cougar, Melancham?

Of course. He was the first guy I ever met that took his wife's name. He did. His name was Mike Sullivan. Her name was Erwin. And he became Mike Sullivan Erwin. Jesus. Whoops. First guy I ever met that called himself a feminist too. Interesting.

It's saying, first of all, you're most certainly thinking very strongly and often about women's issues, right? Right. Which, I guess you have to, if you're a woman, but realistically, you should probably be thinking of like the humanity as a whole, right? It should be really focused on one gender, because this is just, just hear me out for a second if you're getting mad. If we are all like completely concentrating on one specific gender, like a female. It's just the concerns only of the female. You're like automatically like breaking yourself off into a team. This is like those guys that like men's rights guys. Like that's all they talk about. It's all they tweet about. It's all they want to talk about. It's men's rights. Men are going to fuck over in this country and men. They're forming natural teams. It's like, oh, Windows user is getting mad at PC or it was getting mad at Max. it's a weird thing that people start doing when you lock people into any sort of one or the other like right wing versus left wing you know like people who are straight edge versus people like the party there's you get these locked in ideologies and that's a big one man that's a big one the gender ones a big one but PCs are not making less money than max See, that's the thing about that whole narrative about women making less money than men. I don't know if you've ever investigated it, but I had a long conversation with a good friend of mine about it recently, where he was saying it wrong too. This is the reality. The reality is when they do these gender income disparity studies, They're giving you the impression that a man and a woman are working next to each other and they're doing the same job with the woman's making 77 cents to the man's dollar. That's not what the study showed. What the study showed is that overall the men earned more money than the women did if they were both working. and it didn't mean that they were doing the same job. In fact, it means the opposite. Men were choosing jobs that are much more high-risk. They were working longer hours, so you're comparing women who worked on an average of 35 hours to men who worked 40 hours plus and doing different jobs. But this is the study. The study is not that two people, like your an accountant and she's an accountant, and you both do the exact same job, the exact same workload, and you make $100 for she makes $77.

And given individual companies, it could be sexist for sure. Right. 100%. But that's not like what gets spit out. Everybody spits out that women make 77 cents to every man's dollar. It's just not true. Yeah. It's not like they're doing the same jobs. I mean, you could argue that there was one of the, one of the best arguments about it was that they were saying that women being less confident or less likely to be assertive early on and negotiate a good salary for themselves. And that could be an issue. But over time, that sort of balance itself out with performance. hypothesis that was thrown around by one one one article, but the overall numbers are not what everybody says. Everybody loves to say those numbers. You love to harp those numbers back at you. So, you know, woman makes 77 cents to every man's dollar. It's a sexist world, but it's not. It's not what's going on. It might be still a sexist world, but that's not.

I don't know about that study. I don't know if that's true, but again, you're talking about CEOs. And this is a very rare segment of the population. I don't think needs any sympathy. Like any woman who's a CEO is probably making some fucking ridiculous amount of money in the first place. And it's always overexaggerated how much money they make. But wouldn't a company be ridiculous if they paid a woman less money and she's making them more money. Like wouldn't she leave and go somewhere where she would make more money? Like if she's that good, if she's competing with men and going right up against them. This is the argument, right? Um, I don't have the answer because I'm I'm obviously just reading these statistics and reading what these people said, but I would I would imagine there's some deep-seated sexism that is almost impossible to overcome and don't want women as bosses for the most part.

But whether or not that's responsible for women making less money in the same jobs, apparently not according to the numbers. According to the numbers, a lot of it is the choosing of different paths in life as far as careers. That's why this push to get women into STEM, that's why this push to get women into technology, like Silicon Valley, there's this big disparity between men and women. But that disparity is like real similar to how it is in a lot of tech. It's like most women don't gravitate towards those jobs. But if they do, they find them, there's not that many women as opposed to men. It's much, much, I think tech, like look this up. Like what is Silicon Valley? What are the, this is crazy. a real problem. It's like, is it a problem though? But this is the question. Like, that's something that people always parrot and repeat that it's a problem. I don't know if it's a problem or if it's how women naturally navigate towards different careers, then men do.

Look at this one, though. And Silicon Valley men 69% more likely to receive higher salary offer. So for the initial first salary, 69% more likely. I wonder, you know, I get there's gotta be some discrimination when you think about a woman that wants to get pregnant and have a family and you're gonna take time off work and if you're gonna have to give her maternity leave, that's gonna be unproductive money that your company has to give out. It's interesting, man. That lady sued. She sued. That is, uh, I forget her name. Yeah. She sued Margaret Cho. No, she didn't sue Margaret Cho. She sued, um, some company. It was a Google Microsoft. Who the fuck she sued? She sued someone. I think it was Google for, uh, gender discrimination and lost.

Yeah, she was read it after that. She went to read it after that and people were upset that she went over there after she was, they thought running would appear to be a frivolous lawsuit. I don't know if it was frivolous, but it lost. Yeah. Look, I wouldn't want to be a chick work with a bunch of dudes. I'll tell you that right now. Whether it's sexist or not, I would not want to be a woman in an office with nine other dudes that are like scrapping and scraping to try to climb the corporate ladder. And I got to compete with these ass fucks. And they're all out playing golf and talking shit about my ass. They show up and work every day with these guns.

Look at you. Equal opportunity, man.

Yeah, um, look, it's impossible to generalize and big broad sweeping judges, uh, brushes, you know, different street men and women. Just it's impossible. There's so much variety. There's so many people that are women that would thrive in like high pressure, high stress situations alongside men. And so many women that just won't They just, they just, that's not their thing. They don't want to do it if you put them in there. They hate their fucking life. Like how many people who, if they had to do what you do would be in hell every day. Shitting their pants, sweating, nervous, can't come up with a joke. Don't think anything they have to say is interesting. Can't string the words together correctly. They get in a podcast like this. We don't fucking plan a goddamn thing. We've already been going for three hours and 20 minutes. Shut the fuck up. It's time. It's almost five.

But you'd be shooting your pants if you had to be a fucking accountant. Go over people's taxes.

Why don't you do a little archery?

Oh. It's good. It's good. Speaking of which, let's play. That's it. That's my bow. Wow. You got to play some motherfucking pool. So let's end this podcast. Great fit. Tim is brought his book you.

Oh, you should definitely do it on the air and put me on a spot.

It's Simmons benefit. I'm a grown-up now. I'm doing this now from now on folks. I'm actually putting things in my calendar immediately.

I'll leave it on you. I kept going out. I'll fucking get to it. I'll get to it. And then I don't.

That's it. You fuckers. This podcast is over. Greg Fitzimmons is awesome. Go see him live. Go see him live. We'll probably back Saturday with a fight companion for a daytime fight. There's Saturday. It's at noon. I think it's at noon LA time. So Saturday was see you. You fuckers. All right. Thank you everybody. Appreciate you. Bye. Big kiss.